Gaia's Secret (21 page)

A breeze rustled and I wrapped my hands
around my knees, the little rook in my pocket wedging itself
further into my hip. The tower with impenetrable fortifications.
What I would give to have that now—for my physical and emotional
safety.

So many questions haunted my thoughts. What
else was this family not telling me? What would happen if we got to
Amadis and Dad wasn’t there? Would I be able to get away from them?
Even if I did, where would I go? I’d have to take Cicero’s map with
me.

That was, if Alex didn’t catch me first.

A faint pressure on my shoulder startled me.
Fate was not on my side this evening.

“Mind if I join you?” Alex whispered.

I looked away. I couldn’t deal with him. Not
now.

He removed his hand from my shoulder, but
instead of going back to bed like I’d hoped, he sat. Right beside
me. The both of us were now crammed in the doorway.

Silence.

The night seemed quieter, like it was waiting
to see what would happen. Probably expecting some sort of
explosion. I sure was. I hoped Cicero and Sonya were heavy
sleepers.

It was Alex that eventually interrupted the
silence. “I know you don’t want me here, but I need to know
something.”

I waited and tried to distract myself with
picking the dried mud off my boot.

“What did I do to make you hate me?”

I looked at him then. Into that face—that
hurt and troubled face. He was such a good actor.

“How can you even ask that?” I glared.

“I wouldn’t be asking if I knew the
answer.”

“But how can you
not
know?” I couldn’t
believe it. “Unless you really
do
think that highly of
yourself and your ideas on what friends…”

He clamped his hand over my mouth, nodding
towards his sleeping parents. “That’s not the only reason,” he
whispered. “Please, think hard about what you’re about to say and
see if it’s worth it, because chances are, it’ll take awhile for
both of us to get over it.”

There was pain in his eyes, one so poignant
it made me forget what I was about to say. He slowly removed his
hand. And I was silent.

“I just…all I want is to know what I’ve
done.”

His humility breeched my defensive wall.

“Alex.” I had a difficult time keeping my
volume manageable. “I trusted you with everything. Everything! If
I’d been in your shoes, I would’ve told you. You’ve lied to me my
entire
life, and you expect to just show up…after three
years, and I’m supposed to be fine with that?”

His features were strained. “No…I don’t
expect…look. I
am
sorry. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever
done.”

“Then why did you?”

“I didn’t have a choice.”

“You
always
have a choice.”

“Not with your dad.”

“What does my dad have to do with any of
this?” I fought to keep my voice low.

His face moved close to mine, his features
hard. “He made me swear…swear that I would never to say a word to
you about it. When I told him I couldn’t, he said I wouldn’t be
allowed to see you again. What would you have done?”

“But I never saw you again anyway!”

“And that would have happened sooner if I’d
told you.”

“Then you should’ve,” I said. “It would’ve
saved you the misery of my company all those years.”

He moved his head back an inch, tilting it as
his eyes searched mine. “What…are you talking about?”

This wasn’t at all a topic I wanted to
discuss. Not now. Not with him sitting so close. Not ever.

I looked away. “Nothing. Never mind,” I said
a little too quickly.

Alex placed his hand on my cheek, turning it
so that I was forced to look at him. There was something in his
eyes that made my heart ache, and I couldn’t take it.

“Don’t touch me!” I ripped his hand down,
staggering to my feet.

He stood beside me. “Daria,
please.
Just talk to me.”

His tone froze me in place. It was vulnerable
and honest, like he used to be.

“I know,” he continued, “you refuse to
remember I understand you better than you do. Just tell me what
I’ve done, and…I swear I won’t ever ask you again.”

The look in his eyes, on his face. It was too
hurt, too pained. Too believable.

Step by slow step I walked back to him,
peering up into his face. “Why do you keep pretending you
care?”

His expression changed from hurt to
perplexed. “You think I don’t?”

“I
know
you don’t. It was hard enough
when you just up and left. But then to find out I meant
nothing
to you? All those years you’d been trying to find a
way to tell me you couldn’t stand me. You had to be my
friend—because of our parents. Because you were sworn to protect
me—like now. Just…stop pretending.”

His parents stirred. He grabbed my arm and
yanked me out the door. “How did you get that ridiculous idea into
your head?”

I yanked my arm back. “I heard you say it
yourself!”

“When?”

“The last day I saw you.”

He frowned. “You went home sick.”

He remembered.

“Of course I went home sick! I wasn’t going
to stay anywhere near you after hearing how you really felt. I just
don’t understand how I was so oblivious—”

“Hold on. Hear what? What are you talking
about?”

I was so frustrated by his willful ignorance
I could’ve punched him. He was going to make me spell it out for
him. Replay the memory, detail by painful detail.

“I was standing in your doorway, Alex.” I
said each word slowly and deliberately. “I heard the whole thing.
You were talking to someone on the phone about me. Your exact
words, in case you forgot, were that you were going insane and your
parents made you be my friend my whole life.” My throat
constricted. “There. Are you happy now? You can end the charade. I
may have been stupid then, but I’m not now.”

Alex’s lips parted as I fought back my tears.
I couldn’t believe I’d admitted all that. I knew it needed to be
said, but not now. Not when it was still unbearable for me to deal
with.

He searched my face, and so many emotions
crossed over his before he settled on one: comprehension.

“For three years,” his voice was so low I
barely heard it. “All this time, you believed that? That
none
of it was real? That I never…cared?”

My strength was crumbling like the walls
around me. “What else was I supposed to think? It’s not like you
were around to prove anything different.”

“No.” He grabbed my hands in his. “I
wasn’t.”

I tried to break free, but he only squeezed
tighter.

“Daria,” he sighed. “I remember that day. I
was anxious to see you because I thought it would be the last. They
were going to send me here. My parents. When you arrived, I was on
the phone with…someone from this world, and I was talking about
you.”

My palms sweated in his. I was so angry I was
shaking.

“But it wasn’t what you think.” He stared
into my eyes.

“Stop—“

“No,” he cut me off, squeezing my hands.
“Listen to me. I
was
going insane. Because I couldn’t tell
you the truth about this world. That I was going to leave soon. My
parents—the only thing they ever
made
me do was keep this
world from you. What I couldn’t stand was knowing I was leaving
without telling you why. I was afraid, well, you’d treat me like
this.”

I was still, unable to speak.

Was everything he said true? It couldn’t be.
It wasn’t possible. Except when I filled the gaps in my puzzle with
the pieces he laid out before me—without bias—they fit. All of
them. The way he’d been acting, his silence, his distance. It all
made sense. For once in my life I could step back and see the
entire picture the way it really was, not the way I’d drawn it.

He continued. “When I saw you standing
outside my door, I was so worried you’d overheard me talking about
this world, that I’d broken my promise to your father. I won’t lie,
part of me hoped you’d overheard. Maybe your father could forgive
me if it was an accident. But when I saw your reaction, I knew you
hadn’t heard anything. There was no…life in you. I believed you
were sick.”

With every word he said, I felt more and more
ridiculous. And angry, at myself. “The note,” I whispered. “The one
you left in the
Count of Monte Cristo
.”

“It was what I’d decided—how I would tell you
while not completely dishonoring myself in the eyes of Alaric. I
was so certain you’d find it that day since you’d been turning to
it every time you came over. I wanted you to find it. I wanted you
to find it with me there, and when you left, I’d hoped you’d find
it on another trip to our house.”

“I didn’t find it till a few days ago.”

“I realize that now. I thought you found it
and were still furious. I guess I didn’t consider you’d be so angry
with me you’d never set foot in our house again.” He shook his
head. When he looked back at me, his eyes were so penetrating I had
to force myself to hold his gaze. “But why were you so quick to
draw those conclusions about how I felt about you? After everything
we shared, everything we did, why didn’t you just ask?”

See! I told you that you should’ve asked
him. This is your own fault.

I sighed and glanced at my hands that were
hidden in his. “I’d been noticing a difference in you for a while.
You were withdrawn and more private. It wasn’t like you, and I…took
it personally. It makes sense now, with everything you were dealing
with.”

He didn’t speak, but his frustration pulsed
through me. The past three years had affected him just as much as
they had affected me. I could feel it burning inside of him. And
that frustration was slowly chipping away at the stones of my
emotional barricade.

“If what you say is true,” which I knew it
was, “then why didn’t you say something sooner?”

He sighed. “It’s been hard for me, knowing
what to say to you after everything that’s happened. Especially
after seeing how angry you were. And I know you. Once that fire
burns, only time can put it out. I wanted to talk to you about
it—alone.” He squeezed my hands gently this time. “At first I
thought I’d be patient—give you time to adjust before apologizing
with even the smallest hope that you’d forgive me. But you seemed
more resolute than ever with your anger and even I have a
threshold.”

I couldn’t stop my smile. “You? A
threshold?”

He returned my smile, and then leaned against
the wall, tilting his head back towards the night sky. “I hate that
I’ve become a liar to you, but I couldn’t leave this world. I
couldn’t contact you without being caught. The only reason I was
able to see you a few days ago was because I finished my training,
and your dad was planning on telling you the truth.”

My breath stuck in my throat. “He was going
to tell me about this world?”

His eyes found mine as he nodded.

That close. Dad was going to tell me
everything that night at the Del Contes. “What stopped him?”

“He received word there was movement by the
portal. Of course he decided it wasn’t safe yet, and took you home,
away from any possible danger.”

“But the danger was waiting at our home,” I
whispered.

Alex stared into my eyes. “I’m so sorry.” He
placed his palm on my cheek, the warmth melting the rest of my
anger. I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to. Three years of hurting
from a ridiculous misunderstanding.

“I give you my word—if there is any part of
you left that can trust it—I will never lie to you again. Will you
ever forgive me?”

I was lost, staring into his eyes. Eyes that
I’d trusted, eyes that made me feel…whole, again. I was overwhelmed
with so many emotions, his hope and my joy, his relief and my
regret at how I’d acted. It was so much I almost didn’t hear the
horses.

And they were whinnying. Frantically.

Alex snapped his gaze to the forest, intent
on the blackness ahead. He dropped his hand from my face and yanked
me behind him.

The horses were in a frenzy. I’d never heard
them make such noise. But what startled me even more than that was
the shear amount of terror I felt from Calyx.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Shh.” He focused on the trees, my hand
clutched in his. “Wake my mom and dad. Now.”

And then, just between the shadows, emerged a
pair of glowing blood red eyes. My entire body went numb as
relentless hunger and death filled my senses from the creature
hidden in the shadows.

T
he deep crimson glow
smoldered in the shadows. All I felt was the absolute hatred of the
creature before me—its lust for death and thirst for blood. Our
blood.

It took a single step into the moonlight, and
I forgot its hatred, because I was consumed by my own fear.

It was a dog from hell. Four long, sinewy
legs supported a thick muscular frame. Striated muscles flexed as
it prowled, the breeze lifting a few strands of wiry hair from its
taut, black leather skin. Gnarled bat-like ears stood erect from
its fury-wrinkled forehead; nostrils flared at the end of a long
lipless snout, boasting a wall of razor sharp fangs. A whip for a
tail lashed at the air as it took another step forward, sharp black
claws raking at the earth. It was the creature from the book, the
one I’d seen in the Del Contes’ hidden room.

“My parents,” Alex hissed as he pushed me
back through the doorway.

I was paralyzed with fear. The horses were
going berserk, drowning in terror, and then they bolted into the
forest, disappearing in the shadows.

But the feral beast didn’t go after them. Its
eyes were intent upon me.

Alex was sprinting towards it with his blade
overhead.