“Has he ever got the boyfriend moves down,” Brittany said, with teasing in her voice.
I turned my attention to Connor. “I’m going to change clothes, too.”
“Okay. I’ll find you.”
How different his tone was from Lucas’s! I told myself it was because Lucas and Kayla had only just discovered each other, while Connor and I had been together forever. Even so, I couldn’t help but believe we should still feel that spark of excitement when we were near each other.
“I can’t get over how immense this place is,” Kayla said as we walked down the hallway toward the foyer, having left the guys in the counsel room. Everything I took for granted was new to her. It made me view things through fresh eyes.
All the walls were paneled in dark wood. The stone floor was worn and scratched in places where claws had traveled over it. Portraits of our ancestors, in both human and wolf forms, lined the walls.
“The whole clan used to live here,” Brittany said. She enjoyed our history, while usually I could take it or leave it. “We were self-sufficient. Then industrialization began to take hold, and we realized how much we’d miss out on if we continued to isolate ourselves.”
“So out into the big, bad world we went,” I interjected.
“It’s not that bad,” Brittany said.
“Then why do we have to keep our existence a secret?” I asked.
“Because when we tried to reveal ourselves, we were tortured and burned as witches or demons,” Brittany answered.
“I know that happened a long time ago,” Kayla said. “But don’t you think people are more enlightened these days?”
“What was your gut reaction when you learned that we existed?” I asked.
She blushed so deeply that the light smattering of freckles across her cheeks disappeared. “Astounded. And I hate to admit it, but I was horrified when I discovered I was one of you. But now that I understand we’re not rabid werewolves with evil intentions, I think it’s pretty cool. That’s all I’m saying. If people were given a chance to understand what we truly are, they might accept us.”
“Or they might want to capture and study us. Like Bio-Chrome.”
“But if people knew about us, the government would protect us.”
“We protect ourselves,” Brittany said vehemently. “We always have. We always will.”
“I just think that having some help isn’t such a bad idea.”
“It’s not our decision to make,” I said as we neared the grand, sweeping staircase that would take us up to the room we were sharing. “Besides, we have way more important decisions to face—like what we’re going to wear tonight.”
Unlike Kayla, I had attended many summer solstice celebrations. They were characterized by an abundance of food and out-of-date music that our parents would dance to—and that we wouldn’t be caught dead even listening to. Those around my age would gather mostly in small groups to talk, while avoiding the older members who were prone to pinching our cheeks and reminding us how cute we used to be.
“So how do I dress for this thing?” Kayla asked as she scrounged through her small duffle bag.
“Sexy,” I said as I pulled a red spaghetti-strap tank out of my bag. The nights grow cool this far north, so I planned to wear a white denim jacket over it.
I walked into the bathroom where, at the long counter, Brittany was already straightening her black hair with a flat iron. When we were hiking through the woods, we usually wore our hair pulled back or braided—anything to minimize tangles. Tonight, though, I was going to leave my white-blond hair flowing around my shoulders.
I leaned toward the mirror and applied mascara. My skin had a healthy glow from all the time I spent outdoors. Anticipation of the evening had turned my hazel eyes a little greener.
“Do weird activities go on during this summer solstice thing? Do I need to be prepared for anything? I mean, the guys don’t all strip down and transform do they?” Kayla asked as she came into the bathroom wearing a denim skirt and a cute, lacy pink top.
“I wish,” Brittany mumbled. “I think they look best when they’re in wolf form.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Yeah, don’t you?”
I thought about it for a moment. What she’d said seemed momentous somehow, but I couldn’t figure out why. It was as though she viewed us somehow differently than most Shifters viewed ourselves. “No, they look the same to me, in whichever form they’re in. What do you think, Kayla?”
“I don’t really prefer one over the other, I guess. Lucas is Lucas, no matter what. It’s just a shape.”
“Exactly,” I said.
“Maybe you two just don’t appreciate the wolf as much as you should,” Brittany said with a hint of tartness in her voice. “I’m outta here.”
She strode out of the room. Kayla raised an eyebrow at me. I shrugged. “She’s in a strange mood.”
Kayla wrinkled her brow. “Do you ever get the sense that she’s…” Her voice trailed off.
“That’s she’s what?”
“I don’t know. Different. I feel connected to you, like there’s a natural bond between us, but I don’t feel that way with Brittany.”
It made me feel disloyal to Brittany to admit that sometimes I did get strange vibes from her. “You just haven’t known her long enough.”
“I guess so.”
When Kayla was ready, we went outside to where the festivities would take place. Beef was being cooked slowly over a large pit. Assorted vegetables and desserts were spread out on several tables. People walked around, eating and talking.
“It’s kinda like a big company picnic or something,” Kayla said.
“Family reunion, in a way, I guess. We might not be directly related through blood, but we’re related through an ancient curse.”
“You really think the first wolf was the result of a curse?”
“Maybe.”
“Lucas thinks we’ve been around since the dawn of time.”
“That’s a possibility, too, I guess. Brittany would probably know. She studies all that history stuff.”
“What stuff?” Connor asked as he and Lucas joined us. Connor closed his hand around mine. It had been forever since we’d held hands. I wondered if he’d noticed the closeness between Kayla and Lucas, too. A soft, hunter green shirt was tucked into his dark jeans. He looked great.
“Where we came from,” I said.
“The ancient text says we’ve always existed,” Lucas said as he slipped his arm around Kayla’s waist and drew her against his side.
“An ancient text that’s for our eyes only?” Kayla asked, gazing up at him with an expression of adoration. It was so obvious that they were right for each other.
“For the elders. It’s kept in a special room.” Lucas tilted his head to the side. “Come on, let’s go to the party.”
I started to follow, but Connor held me back with a slight tug on my hand.
“Think he wants to show her around,” he said. “Privately.” His tone was suggestive.
“Oh. Right.” I couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. Kayla and Lucas could barely keep their hands off each other, while Connor and I just acted like old buddies.
He gave me a warm smile of approval. “You look nice.”
“Are you saying I don’t usually?” I teased.
“You always look great. You know that. It’s one of the reasons Rafe can’t keep his eyes off you.”
I felt my stomach knot and wondered if he’d noticed that lately I was having a difficult time keeping my eyes off Rafe. “I hadn’t noticed,” I lied.
“Good thing I know you’re mine or I might get jealous,” he said.
Secretly I wondered if a little jealousy would be a good thing. I wanted to feel that spark between us that was so obvious between Kayla and Lucas.
“Come on. Let’s grab something to eat,” Connor said, still holding my hand and pulling me along as he raced toward the grill. I couldn’t help but giggle at his enthusiasm. How many times over the years had we hurried someplace because he was hungry?
After piling our plates with meat that had been cooked just enough that the blood running off it was warm, Connor and I settled on the ground beneath a tree, eating in companionable silence.
“Is it just me or does something seem to be missing this year?” I asked after a while.
“Yeah, something is definitely missing. It’s called laughter.”
Once he said it, I knew he was right. “So do you think this Bio-Chrome thing is really a problem?” I asked, hoping he would say
no
.
“I’m afraid so. I don’t think they’re going to give up.” He paused. “But we have to go back to business as usual, bringing campers into the forest. We just have to be aware that some campers might be their spies.”
I thought about this for a moment. “Do you think they suspect that anyone in our group other than Lucas is a Shifter?”
“Hard to say.”
“I really think Mason may have grown up reading too many comic books. He probably believes being bitten by a radioactive spider will turn him into Spider-Man.”
Connor grinned. “It won’t?”
Playfully, I slapped his arm. He’s big into superheroes. Iron Man is his favorite, because he doesn’t actually possess superpowers. All of a sudden it seemed strange to me that Connor would prefer the guy who, without his metal suit, was as “normal” as the majority of the world.
“Are you comfortable being a Shifter?” I blurted out.
“Never really thought about it. Why?”
“Just thinking about how you admire Iron Man. I should probably leave the psychoanalysis to the pros.”
“Definitely.”
My thoughts shifted back to Bio-Chrome. “Maybe
we
should put a spy in
their
camp.”
Connor stared at me.
“What?” I asked, uncomfortable with his intensity.
“That’s not a bad idea.”
“I was kidding. Besides, who’d be crazy enough to volunteer?”
“Someone who thought they had nothing to lose.”
“Brittany, maybe,” I said quietly. I touched his knee. “Connor, you pal around with the guys. Why doesn’t anyone show an interest in her?”
He slowly shook his head. “Who the hell knows? There’s just something about her.”
I furrowed my brow. “What do you mean?”
Sighing, he took a bite of meat and chewed for a while, as though he had to digest his thoughts. “It’s hard to explain. She’s hot—and in shape. I mean, man, she runs a couple of miles before dawn each morning, plus she does all those push-ups and sit-ups and even some weight training—which I’ve always thought is kind of weird for a girl because we’re genetically prone to be in amazing shape. So why the workouts?”
“You work out,” I reminded him.
“Yeah, but it’s different for guys. It’s because we’re guys.”
“Girls work out, too.”
“But not with the intensity that Brittany does.”
He stopped for a moment, grasping for words. “But it’s more than that with her. I look at you and I feel a soul-deep connection. Wolf to wolf. Even when I met Kayla, I felt that
zing
that meant she’s one of us. But with Brittany, there’s nothing. It’s like seeing some of the Static girls on campus and just knowing they’re outsiders.”
“But Brittany
is
one of us,” I insisted.
“I know. It makes no sense, but I’m not the only guy who feels Static vibes coming off her.”
“But she can’t be a Static. Her parents are Shifters.” They had to be. I knew her mother. As for her dad, I’d never met him. No one had as far as I knew. He lived in Europe, part of another clan. It had always been just Brittany and her mom. But still, I couldn’t imagine that her mom would hook up with a non-Shifter. I wasn’t even sure that was possible. “She’d have to be some kind of mutation or something.” I shook my head, totally blown away by the concept, and repeated, “She’s one of us.”
“Hey, Connor!” one of the guys called out, interrupting our discussion about Brittany. Not that I thought we had much more to say on the subject. The very idea of her not being a Shifter was too weird even to contemplate. As far as I knew, nothing like that had ever happened. “The old men are challenging us to a game of tag football. Fathers against sons. You in?”
“You bet.”
“Meet us in five. In the clearing.” He raced off.
“You gonna watch us play?” Connor asked.
“Sure.”
“Give me a kiss for good luck?”
I gave him what I hoped was a sexy grin. “Like you have to ask.”
He leaned in and kissed me. I’m always amazed by how warm his mouth is, by how nice it feels to be kissed by Connor. Not that I had any other experience to compare it to—he’d always been my one and only.
Drawing back, he smiled broadly. “I want more of that after I whip my dad’s butt.”
I laughed as he pulled me to my feet. We dropped our plates off and headed over to the clearing. He gave me another quick kiss before loping into the area where Lucas and several other Dark Guardians were waiting for him. Connor was incredibly swift and graceful. I loved watching the way he moved. He was amazingly perfect.
I thought about looking for Kayla and Brittany among the people who had gathered to watch, but I wasn’t really in the mood to deal with Brittany’s PMS attitude or whatever was going on with her. I wasn’t even in the mood to hear about how disgustingly happy Kayla was now that she and Lucas had found each other. I was glad for her, but maybe I was also a little jealous that she had no doubts whatsoever about her feelings toward Lucas, while uncertainty about my feelings toward Connor had begun to plague me.
I leaned against a tree, relishing its sturdiness. I’m all about nature; I appreciate every aspect of it, and I draw comfort from it. I needed a little comfort just then. As I looked around, I realized sadly that Connor was right. There wasn’t as much laughter as usual. Everyone seemed to realize that our world was on the brink of shifting—and we just weren’t comfortable with aspects of shifting that weren’t directly related to our bodies. Maybe that was the reason we still used terms like
mate
and only the guys publicly declared their intended. We were archaic in a quaint sort of way.
As it grew dark, a few torches were lit for the benefit of those of us who hadn’t had our first transformations yet. Those who could shift had the keen night vision of a wolf, even when they weren’t in wolf form. After the initial transformation, we brought many of our enhanced abilities back to our human shape. On one hand, I couldn’t wait. And on another, I was still terrified. What would it really be like? And what if I’d made a mistake in selecting my mate?
“So who’s ahead?”
My heart galloped at the familiar raspy voice so near my ear. I don’t know anyone else who moves as silently as Rafe. Glancing back over my shoulder, hoping he didn’t hear the wild pounding of my heart, I smiled casually at him. “The sons, I think. How come you’re not playing?”
An odd expression crossed his face—and I remembered that his dad had died. “I’m sorry. That was thoughtless—”
“No big deal. It’s not like it was any great loss to the clan.”
“But it was to you.”
“Not really. So is this the dullest summer solstice celebration we’ve ever had, or have I just outgrown them?”
It was obvious that he wanted to change the subject. His dad had died in a car crash that he’d caused after getting behind the wheel drunk. I accepted the new topic with grace. “Oh, it’s definitely the dullest.”
“You want to sneak away for a while? I’ve got my bike.”
I felt a spark of pleasure that he’d asked, and abruptly realized how inappropriate my reaction was. “Thanks, but I can’t.”
Because I couldn’t get that dream out of my mind, or the way he’d watched me during the meeting. And if we were alone, out in the woods…
The truth was that I didn’t trust myself. Would I give into temptation? Rafe called to some part of me, something inside me that I didn’t understand. He made me think about getting up close and personal with him—and Connor had already claimed that privilege with me.
I looked back toward the game, watched as Connor raced out and caught the pass thrown by Lucas. Only a few people cheered. It was as though everyone wanted to make sure that no one in the forest heard us—as though we’d reverted back to being ultrasecret. The way we were acting, we might as well have been afraid of our own shadows.
“You know they’ll play for a couple more hours,” Rafe said. “We’re legendary for our stamina. Even the old guys are like Energizer bunnies: They just keep on going and going.”
“I know, but—”
“Come on, Lindsey. I’m just talking about a ride on my bike. It’s way more fun than leaning against a tree.”
And here I’d always thought he was a guy of few words.
But he was right. I was bored out of my mind. Rafe and I were friends. I could go with him and not do anything to betray Connor. Couldn’t I? Sure I could. I never wanted to hurt Connor. It was one of the reasons that I was keeping buried so many of my doubts about us. “Connor and I—”