From The Shadows (From The Shadows #1) (15 page)

That comment made me blush but it also made me warm inside. He might just be biased, but the thought of him liking my voice made me think; maybe this taking song lessons would mean more would think I had a good voice. I certainly hoped so. Singing made it easier to cope with the world. I had just never willingly let anyone listen to me before now. Nathan however made me feel like I could be myself, completely, which was a new feeling. I had never felt like I could let go before.

So Nathan turned up the radio and in no time we were both singing along to Marilyn Manson, Paramore, Linkin Park and everything else we knew the lyrics to. It made us both smile and laugh, and before I knew it, Nathan was turning the truck into a driveway at a little blue house with white windows.

“We’re here!” He declared as I finished the last line of
Photograph
by Nickelback.

I looked out the window, studying the house for a few heart beats, and then turned to Nathan. “Is this where you.. erhmm.. Grew up?”

“Well grew up is maybe too big of a word as I went back and forth between foster care and my mom. But yea, mom has lived here for as long as I remember”.

“Okay” Was all I could say as all the nerves had begun to return.

“Ready to go in and meet her?” He asked, while sending me a gentle smile that told me he knew from my facial expression what I was feeling, but that he would make it all as smooth as he could for me.

My feet had just hit the ground when a lovely woman in her mid-forties came running out the front door. There was no doubting who she was, because she had Nathan’s green eyes and dark hair, or well I guess he had hers. She was much smaller than him though, I would guess she was my height. She had a lovely smile that made her eyes sparkle and she was dressed in a modern green dress that showed her beautiful frame. She exuded warmth and love, and before I had even been introduced to her I knew I would love her.

Nathan walked towards her and picked her up in a bear hug, when she ran into his arms.

“Oh son, how I have missed you! Let me see you”. She pushed Nathan away from her small frame so she could take a proper look at her son, to make sure he looked healthy, and then she told him “You look good!” with a content smile on her face.

“So do you mom, and I have missed you too. Now come meet the love of my life”. He said before taking her hand and walking back to the car where I was still standing dumbstruck and trying to hide.

“She is my beautiful Nikki!” He then proudly declared and went to take me into his arms. “Nikki, this is my mom”.

Staying in Nathan’s safe embrace I stuck my hand out. “Nice to meet you Mrs. Mathews”

“Nice to meet you too Nikki” She smiled warmly back at me “And I will have none of that Mrs. Mathews. You can call me Josephine!”

Nathan loosened his arms from around my midsection and took my hand in his instead, then we went inside where Josephine had made us lunch. And a lovely lunch that was, all homemade and all smelling deliciously mouthwatering, no wonder Nathan was such a good cook; it must have been in his genes.

The talking flowed pretty well, and though I still felt a bit shy, I managed to get one or two words in as well. We talked about Nathan as younger, how he and I met and what our plans for the future were. But at no point was my past brought up, it seemed like Josephine knew not to go there, like she had known not to hug me when we had first arrived. I would have to ask Nathan later if he´d talked a lot about me, to his mother, because I couldn´t imagine that she would be able to sense those were no-go’s for me. No one was that good, right?

It did make it easier on me that we didn´t get into those subjects, but I was not sure how I felt about Josephine knowing all sorts of things about me. If she did, that was. And then it hit me that I was just over thinking things again, if she knew, it didn´t seem to bother her and thinking about it; why would it? Her sons had gone through bad things too, growing up, not exactly the same things but tough enough no less.

As the time neared 2pm we heard a car in the driveway. “That must be Liam” Josephine exclaimed. “Now Nathan, promise me you two won’t start fighting!” She added with a worried frown on her face.

“I won’t start a fight, but I’ll want a talk with him”. He answered and the laughing, joking man, that I loved, had slipped away and a much more serious one had appeared, which made me wonder if that was a promise he could keep. I knew it bothered him that he had to help bail out his brother from jail, but it wasn’t because he´d used money on him, it was because Liam had disappointed him. Nathan had such high hopes for both of his brothers, and I think he thought if he could make it then they should be able to as well. Was it a fair request? I really didn´t know, but I understood why he was feeling like this. However, I also knew how hard it must have been for Liam to live up to. Nathan wasn’t perfect, he was only human after all, but he had made something out of himself, and to have that hanging over one’s head; that you had to do so too could be daunting, especially if you were one to fall off the wagon from time to time.

When seeing all that run over his face I reached over to squeeze his hand just as the door was pushed open, and who I presumed to be Liam stepped in. And oh god did he look like Nathan; He was not quite as tall as Nathan, but still pretty tall, and instead of green eyes Liam’s were blue, other than that though, he was a spitting image of his big brother.

“Hey Brother” He said nonchalantly as he got into the kitchen. When walking by Nathan and me he clapped Nathan on the shoulder before reaching their mother and taking her into a loving embrace. “Hey mom, you got any food back for me?”

She started laughing while shaking her head. “I told you we did lunch at 12pm… but yea it’s in the fridge, help yourself!”

Finding a piece of pie and a fork he finally turned back to the rest of us, and finally acknowledged me as well. “So.. Who is this beauty you have dragged along?” He asked Nathan.

“This is Nikki, Liam.. My girlfriend, remember I told you I was seeing someone now?” Nathan answered slightly irritated and you could feel the tension had built in the room since Liam arrived.

“Yea, yea I remember.. Just wasn’t sure if I believed it since you never have girls stick around for long”.

Oh.. That one stung. I was not quite sure why, because I knew Nathan never dated much. He always seemed to lose interest pretty fast, when it came to other girls, and I partially knew it was because he had loved me but couldn’t have me until now. I guess the doubt I had in myself, which I had always had, was now questioning if I would still be around for long, even if I knew he loved me.

“Hello Nikki” Liam then said, giving me a cocky half smile and I just gave him a little awkward waive back.

Nathan leaned in and nudged my ear with his nose and made me look over at him. “Stop that babe, I love you and you know that is not going to change.” He whispered in my ear, having the uncanny ability to always read my face whenever I was struggling with self-doubt. So I smiled back at him, nodding my head.

“I love you”. I then mouthed and he kissed my cheek and told me he knew I did.

Looking up at Liam, Nathan broke our moment. “Are we done ignoring the elephant in the room, now?”

Liam just shrugged. He didn´t seem much into the idea of talking about the real reason why Nathan and I had come to town. Sure we came so I could meet his mom, but the bigger reason was still that he wanted to talk to his brother.

“When are you going to court?” Nathan jumped right on to it.

“In a month… “.

I looked over at Josephine and could see she was looking at me uncomfortably; like she didn´t want me to witness any more of this tension. So I just tried to smile reassuring at her, trying to convey that I could handle it. It was not like it was aimed at me. I guess she decided not to believe me though because she stood up and asked me if I wanted to join her for a walk round her little backyard, while the boys talked. And after getting the nod from Nathan to go ahead, I agreed. 

Breathing in the fresh air, I realized just how right she was to get me outside.

“You know, I have never seen Nathan so happy before” Josephine exclaimed.

“Hmm, he doesn’t seem so happy right now.”

“No, but that has nothing to do with you hunny, I hope you know that. I was talking about when you two arrived. My boy is in love, and I can feel how protective he is of you”.

Hearing these words from Nathan’s mother made me blush and I became speechless. What did you tell the mother to the man you loved? That Nathan had saved me so many times, that I owed him my life? Or that the man made me hot all over? I think not. Not the last part anyway.

“I.. I.. Love him too.. Very much” I stuttered out.

“I know you do hunny, it is so plain to see in both your faces” She told me smiling. “And I figure by now you have guessed that Nathan speaks of you a great deal”. I just nodded, still not too sure of what to say.

Josephine reached out and stroked my cheek. “Don’t worry Nikki, what he tells me I won’t tell to anyone else, but you have to know that he worries about you, and though my boy is a strong man, he still sometimes asks his mother for advice. So I guess what I am trying to say is that I love you too; for making my boy happy, but also know that I understand how life can be hard, and I will not judge what your life has been like, okay?”

Feeling much lighter because she was confirming that she wouldn´t hold my past against me, I let out a deep breath and smiled back at her.

“Thank you, Josephine!”

“You are welcome dear. Now why don’t we walk back inside and see if the boys have finished beating each other up?” That comment made me lift a questioning brow, hoping she was just joking, and when she began laughing at my expression I knew she was doing just that.

Chapter 17

As we walked into the house we could hear a very angry Nathan from the other side of the house “You took a chance..? Are you fucking kidding me? It’s not the first time you got caught, so why the hell did you even think this time was going to be any different?!”

Liam answered, but he wasn’t as loud as Nathan had been so we could only hear very little of what he said next, as a response to Nathan’s outburst.

“I hope you are not stupid enough to think you can avoid jail time this time.” Nathan replied, this time in a lower but still irritated tone.

That comment made Liam raise his voice too “Of course I know that! And I fucking know I did a stupid thing, you don’t need to fucking yell at me about it now”.

“Well someone is going to call you upon your fucking mistakes” Nathan roared back. “I’m fucking done with this shit. Next time you can fix your own Goddamn mistakes by yourself!”

With that last comment Nathan threw the door open and stomped into the living room; where his mom and I had situated ourselves. His eyes were dark with anger, and I could see his hands were twitching to hit something. When Liam came back into the house again I could see Nathan had refrained from hitting his brother though, which was a good thing. I caught his eyes with mine and tried to make him calm down via our connection. And after a few heart beats he closed his eyes and took a deep breath before yet again opening them and giving me a small lopsided smile.
He then looked to his mom, and in a tense voice he said “Mom, I am really sorry to cut it short but I think it´s best that we head home...”

I tilted my head to the side, looking at him with both worry and confusion. It was still so unnatural to see Nathan seething with anger, but I guessed that being in the same room as his brother while he was red hot might not have been the best idea, so I just shrug my shoulders and got up from the couch. I then leaned in and gave Josephine a swift hug. “It was lovely to meet you, and I hope we can come to visit another day” I told her.

She gave me one of her warm smiles which didn´t completely reach her eyes, probably because of her sons being so on edge with each other. “It was lovely to meet you too my dear and you are welcome any day.” She then turned her lips towards my ear and whispered “thank you for making my son happy”.

Well happy was not exactly what I would have called him right at that second, but I understood what she meant so I smiled at her and nodded my head in response as I left her personal space to go to Nathan.

Nathan turned and headed for the door as I reached his side and we went back to the truck, him being a step in front of me the entire way until he reached my side of the truck where he opened my door for me. He hadn´t said a single word to me since the fight he had had with Liam and it put me on edge too, so as my door was open I just walked around him, while keeping my eyes to the ground, and got into my seat.

When I was seated, Nathan ran a finger down my arm and made me look at him. “Sorry for shutting you out babe. I just didn´t want to scare you like last time I got mad” He said in a tone barely higher than if he had been whispering. “I’m still a bit on edge so I hope you can bear with me and know it has nothing to do with you”.

“Okay” I squeaked and he leaned in to capture my lips in a soft kiss before he pulled back and went to the driver’s side of his truck.

I think we had been driving for about half an hour when Nathan finally broke the silence by bringing up our talk from a few weeks back. “Are you still interested in getting a tattoo?” He asked as he turned his face towards me.