Freed (Bad Boy Hitman Romance) (30 page)

I was tired of the pressure. Tired of the expectations. At eighteen years old, I wanted to discover the woman I could be without the pressure of my father and the church. Alas, after a couple of hours of standing in a corner at the club, more or less by myself, watching my new friends having fun and hooking up, I’d accepted the fact that it wasn’t going to happen here. In fact, not a single man had approached me. None. It was humiliating. It wasn’t like I wanted to hook up, but at least a dance with someone would have been nice. Maybe having a little attention lavished on me. Maybe having a guy or two tell me I was beautiful, like they said to the other girls – even if it wasn’t sincere. Was that so much to ask?

Was I that heinous-looking? I didn’t think so.

Vanity is a sin, baby girl. A woman must always present herself with dignity and modesty
. My father’s words echoed through my mind.
Makeup and revealing clothes are for sinners and they invite the wickedness within men to come forward
.

Spinning around, I looked at myself in the mirror that was at my back. I wasn’t drop-dead gorgeous, but I wasn’t ugly either. My friend Bonnie had insisted I put on some makeup. I thought it looked nice – nothing over the top, but just enough blush and bronzer to give my cheekbones definition and a rosy glow, and mascara to accent my dark eyes.

I was average. Even my height – 5’5 – was average. I was just… I shrugged… average. I suspected part of my problem was my attire. My friend Bonnie had offered me sexier clothing, but I’d declined. I’d never worn anything like that before, and to be completely truthful, the thought of showing that much of my body made me uncomfortable. Years of training and grooming by my father had embedded modesty and humility into my consciousness. Some would say it was brainwashing and I wouldn’t argue with them on that point.

My dark eyes narrowed in the mirror as I watched a tall, well-built man cross the dance floor, easily one of the sexiest men I’d ever set eyes on. He walked with purpose and determination, like he owned the place or something – it both intimidated and excited me. He was wearing a tight-fitting black T-shirt, blue jeans and a leather jacket. But it was his eyes that trapped me – they were so dark, and each time one of the lights crossed his face, his eyes pulled me in.
 

As if feeling my eyes on him, he caught my reflection in the mirror, and to my surprise he smiled, displaying perfectly straight, white teeth. The sound of female laughter drew my attention to the left and I spotted a sexy-looking redheaded girl waving at the man. I laughed at myself as I spun around; of course that was who he’d really been smiling at. I was being stupid. Of course he wasn’t looking at me – he was looking at her. I looked down at the floor, focusing on the pointed toes of my black leather pumps, trying to hide my embarrassment, although the darkness of the club would have hidden it anyhow.

“Hello.”

I looked up, startled to see the dark stranger standing right before me. He smiled again and this time it was at me.
Really
at me. My mouth fell open. I attempted to return his greeting, but no words seemed to want to come out, so I snapped it shut again. Maybe it was a good thing no one had approached me up until that point, because I was feeling like a royal idiot for not even being able to respond.
 

He leaned in to me, his lips close to my ear. “I said hello.”

I swallowed down my fear. “Hi.”

He cocked his head to the side, amusement dancing in his dark eyes. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t seem to fit in here.”

I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks and I lowered my gaze, peering down at the floor between our feet, the toes of my shoes becoming interesting again. “That apparent, huh?”

“Little bit, yeah. In fact, I’m not even sure you’re supposed to be here. You’re not twenty-one, are you?”

The heat in my cheeks intensified. Of course he wasn’t interested in me – maybe he was indeed the owner and he just wanted the minors out of there. I contemplated lying, but I’m a horrible liar. Lying is yet another sin, after all. I shook my head. “Eighteen. My friends…”

“I seriously doubt they’re twenty-one either.”

“Are you going to kick us out? Or call the police? Please don’t. My father…” I looked up at him, pleading. My father would be so disappointed, and the very last thing I wanted was to disappoint him. I just wanted to do something a little wild for a change. Just my luck my one act of rebellion was going to land me in a heap of trouble. I could see in my mind’s eye the fury in my father’s eyes if he had to pick me up at the police station. I hadn’t been given the belt in a year or so, but no doubt I’d be feeling its wrath over this.

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“We ditch this place and go somewhere a little more quiet. I’d like to get to know you.”

I stared into his eyes, those dark onyx pools that fascinated me and pulled me in. A part of me was telling me not to go with him, that it was a very bad idea. Bad things happened to careless and reckless girls who went alone with strange men. But there was another part of me that wanted to be like the rest of the girls. Hell, half of the girls I’d come with had already left with men, some of whom they hadn’t even known until that night! He’d said he just wanted to get to know me, not that he wanted to have sex. No harm in that, right?

Good Christian women do not go to bars and clubs looking for men. Only immoral women frequent places like that, baby girl.
I could hear my father’s words in my head. It had been his reaction when I’d told him the girls at school went to clubs on the weekends. He’d then proceeded to forbid me from continuing my friendship with those misguided young women and return to home schooling for the remainder of the year. However, I’d ignored his advice, and here I was, in front of a man I knew he wouldn’t approve of and contemplating leaving with him.

But not for sex
, I assured myself. Men like the man before me never took an interest in the shy, introverted church girl. Never. Years of experience had taught me that. But for once, one claimed to be, and it thrilled me. I know this sounds odd, but it made me feel special.

He extended his hand to me. “I’m Tanner.”

I accepted his hand and it closed around my dainty one. “Emily.” He didn’t release my hand immediately, and I’ll admit I didn’t want him to. His touch was strong, possessive.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be so forward. I really am just interested in getting to know you. No expectations other than just having a little walk and a chat. It’s too loud in here to really have a conversation. I promise I’m not some crazy kidnapper or anything like that.”

A soft smile spread across my lips. “Isn’t that what a kidnapper would say?”

“Hmmm. You might be right.” He took a step back and spread his hands out to his sides, his lips forming a wide smile again. “But do I look like some crazy guy? Do I really look like I’d need to kidnap girls from bars and keep them locked in my basement?” He laughed, his face lighting up, delight shining in his eyes.

 
Don’t be such a prude. You’ve never done a wild thing in your life, Emily
, a voice in the back of my mind urged. And the voice was right. I always followed my father’s rules. Always. And when it came right down to it, I did share my father’s vision for me, I did want to be the perfect wife to a good Christian husband. But why couldn’t I have fun, just once? Why couldn’t I just throw caution to the wind and do something a little crazy? What would it really hurt? That was what I’d come here for in the first place.

And he was
so
handsome, and that dangerous bad-boy vibe excited me. He was perhaps in his late twenties, much too old for me. But then again, why was I overthinking this? It wasn’t like anything was going to happen. It was a little walk – nothing more, nothing less.

I nodded. “Okay.”

He cocked a brow at me. “Just okay? You’re hurting my feelings.”

Laughing, I rolled my eyes at him. “I mean, I’d love to.”

“Good.” Slipping an arm around my shoulders, he started to lead me toward the exit.

“Wait.” I stopped in midstride and he stopped with me. “I have to tell my friends I’m leaving.”

“Sure, sure.”

I took a couple of steps toward my friend Bonnie and then spun back to face him. “Can I get a lift home? I mean, if you have a car here.”

He smiled at me. “Of course.”

“If you don’t mind…”

“Why would I mind?”

I frowned. “But only if you haven’t been drinking, ’cause…” I shrugged. “You know…”

He made a criss-cross over his chest with his index finger. “Cross my heart.”

We shared another smile before I rushed off to fill Bonnie in on my change of plans.

Chapter 2

Emily

“So tell me about yourself. I want to know everything,” Tanner said.

I looked over at Tanner, who was walking beside me, his hands stuffed into the outer pockets of his black leather jacket. Feeling my eyes on him, he turned his head and met my stare. He was easily one of the best-looking men I’d ever come across. For one of the first times in my life, I questioned whether refraining from sex until marriage was really necessary. Women my age had premarital sex all the time and found good, hard-working, loving husbands. Every one of my new friends indulged in it regularly. Bonnie had teased me the previous night, calling me a prude and saying my father had brainwashed me. Maybe she was right. I found I was questioning my beliefs more and more lately. Was the vision I had for myself truly my vision, or was it my father’s? I honestly didn’t know anymore.

I gave my head a shake, even though my emotions were in turmoil. No. I’d made a promise to God, my father and myself. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t at least indulge in a kiss. I’d been kissed a few times, and Billy Thorne had felt me up once. Certainly not a large amount of experience, but I wasn’t completely clueless either.

“So,” Tanner prompted. “Spill it. Tell me everything.”

I shrugged. “There’s not much to say, really. My father is a pastor, and he usually relocates our family every couple of years. He doesn’t like to stay in the same place too long. I go to college in the fall, so this is going to be my last move with my family.”

“So you’re close with them?”

“Very.”

“Must be a lot of pressure living up to the standards I would guess are expected of a pastor’s daughter?”

“Yeah. It can be. I try my best, but sometimes Father’s expectations seem out of reach.” We rounded the block and began making our way back toward the nightclub parking lot. “Father is very demanding, but I get it. He only wants the best for me.” I laughed. “He’s scared that when I go off to college, I’ll turn into some wild woman and forget everything he’s taught me.”

Tanner chuckled along with me. “Oh, I don’t think so. You seem to have a pretty good head on your shoulders.”

“I like to think so. But to be honest, I kinda wish I was more adventurous. Sometimes I want to be more like the girls I came to the club with – sexy and exciting. There’s a part of me that wants more. It feels like I’ve been missing out on things.”

“Oh, I think you’re perfect the way you are.”

“You don’t have to say that.”

“I wouldn’t have approached you if I didn’t think you were beautiful.” A little something different played in his dark eyes. Lust, maybe? I couldn’t quite place the look, but either way it made me feel sexy and desirable, sending a shiver through me. The heat rushed to my cheeks again and I lowered my gaze. Yeah, like a man like Tanner would be all that interested in me, especially now that he knew he wouldn’t be able to score with me. I’d be lucky to get a drive home.

I huffed.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” He stopped walking and grabbed my hand, forcing me to stop as well.

The feel of my hand in his made me want to get closer. “Nothing.” I shrugged and lifted my gaze. “I appreciate the kind words, but I think you’re wasting your time with me tonight.”

He frowned. “I don’t follow.”

“Because I’ve never…” I gave him a shy smile and quickly lowered my gaze again. “You know. And it’s not going to happen tonight. I’ve made a vow to wait ’til marriage, and please don’t take this the wrong way, but I have a feeling waiting isn’t your strong suit.”

Tanner laughed and gave my hand a tug, pulling me in to him. I allowed myself to be pulled into his arms despite the voice in the back of my mind screaming at me to just go back to the nightclub, find Bonnie and go home. Tanner was bad news; he was dangerous.

“I already told you. I just want to get to know you. You’re a beautiful, interesting woman. You need to know that.”

When I looked up into his eyes and saw his sincerity, something in me swooned. I’d come to the nightclub to be a little impulsive and do something I normally wouldn’t do. Looking up at him as a sexy, seductive grin spread across his lips, I decided to take a chance. Just once. Pressing myself against him, I stretched up on my tiptoes and brushed my lips across his. His lips were soft and tasted of beer, and I wanted to taste more.

His response was surprisingly reluctant at first, as if he were deciding whether to respond or not. Then suddenly his arms were tightening around my waist and he was pulling me in to him, his lips teasing mine and his tongue urging my lips open.

With a low moan I parted my lips to him, inviting him in. As his tongue slipped between my lips and caressed mine, a jolt of pleasure and need rushed through me. It was a feeling that was foreign and powerful and exciting and a million other things all rolled up in one, and I liked it – I craved it. I moaned again and fisted the shoulders of his leather jacket as a warmth spread between my legs. I’d been kissed before, but never like this; he kissed me as if he owned me. His tongue dominated mine, and I loved how he took control. And God help me, I wanted to feel more.

But suddenly, to my displeasure, he pulled his lips from mine and took a step back out of my embrace. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you home.”

I’ll admit, I was disappointed. I wasn’t sure how far I’d have gone with him, but as we walked toward his car, talking about everything and nothing at the same time, I realized I’d never know. Father would never approve of the man walking beside me – in fact, had I not arranged to stay at Bonnie’s that night, I would have had to request that Tanner drop me off a block from my house so he’d never know. The kiss hadn’t just been nice… No, it had been mind-blowing, but he wasn’t going to wait for marriage for me. I knew that without a doubt, and I certainly didn’t blame him.

We reached his car, a black Mustang, and he opened the passenger door for me, motioning for me to enter.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?”

He smiled and gave me a wink. “Nothing would make me happier than to have an excuse to spend more time with you.”

I blushed yet again as I slipped into the passenger seat.

Tanner closed the door and hurried around the front of the car and then slid in behind the wheel. “But before we go, I just have one request.”

Chewing at my lower lip, I nodded, my eyes dipping to his lips, hoping it would be a request for another kiss. “Sure.”

He paused for a moment and then leaned forward. I let out a little sigh as his lips ghosted mine. Our lips teased, him pulling my lower lip into his mouth and me doing the same to him. Just when I thought he was going to deepen the kiss, I felt a pinch at my neck. Less than a minute later the world went black.

~*~*~*~

My mouth was so dry and my throat felt like sandpaper. Parting my lips, I swept my tongue along them, to realize they were also dry. I needed some water and maybe some chap-stick. What in the heck had I done last night to end up in this state? I searched my brain, but everything about the previous night was a haze. With a groan I shifted from my back to my side and the bed under me creaked.

Something wasn’t right and I had an urgent need to pee. Time to get up. From the way I was feeling it had to be past noon. I didn’t have to open my eyes to know I wasn’t home; I must have stayed at Bonnie’s house. Bonnie was an early riser – if she’d allowed me to sleep in like this she must be really wasted. With reluctance I opened my eyes. I blinked against what seemed to be bright sunlight but was actually a fluorescent light hanging from the ceiling, and gasped as I immediately locked gazes with a dark-haired man who was sitting in a red plush armchair across the room.

“Good afternoon, sleepyhead. About time you woke up. I thought you were going to sleep the day away.” The corners of his lips turned up into a warm smile. My eyes continued to stare into his and I saw amusement dancing within them.

I know him…
My brow creased as I struggled to sit up. He’d been at the club, I was sure of it. I quickly searched my brain, trying to part the fog. Yes, at the club, he’d approached me. He was so sexy and I wondered why he’d ever have an interest in plain Jane me.

I sat up. “Ummm.” I could feel my cheeks growing warm and lowered my gaze, immediately noticing the army-green blanket under me. “Did we?” I was still fully clothed aside from my shoes, so I assumed not. I hoped not, anyhow; if I was going to throw my virginity away for a one-night stand then it would have been nice to remember the experience.

“Did we what?” He cocked a brow up at me.

I lifted my gaze again, and before I answered, my eyes swept the room. It was plain, with a concrete floor and tan-painted walls. Aside from the bed and the chair he was sitting in, the only other piece of furniture in the room was a wooden bench. I frowned, noticing a video camera in the corner and then seeing several chains hanging from the ceiling with cuffs attached to the ends. What was this place? Why was there a video camera? Nothing made sense.

“You know… did we?” My voice was so weak. My mouth so dry. I desperately needed something to drink. My stomach did a not-so-pleasant flip-flop. How much had I drunk? I remembered nursing the blue drink Bonnie had given me, but had I finished it and drunk more? Considering I’d never drunk before, I had no doubt it wouldn’t take much to get me blitzed out of my mind.

I was surprised when he chuckled. “No, we didn’t fuck. Not yet.”

I cringed at his choice of words. But of course “fucking” would have been the appropriate term had we done anything. I let out a sigh of relief; at least I hadn’t done something stupid and given my virginity to a complete stranger.

Not yet? He’s rather presumptuous
.

He was going to be severely disappointed when he found out I had no intention of “fucking” him, no matter how attractive he was
.
I’d had a lapse in judgment last night, but today was a new day. I shifted to get off of the bed, but a rattling sound caught my attention. Looking down at my feet, I froze, my eyes widening as I peered down at my left leg, which was shackled to one of the steel bed posts. I hadn’t noticed it when my eyes had done the initial sweep of my body, but the steel shackle seemed to gleam under the light. How could I have missed it?

I wordlessly turned my head and peered over at the stranger, confusion etched in my expression.

“Oh yes. That.” The stranger stood and began to cross the room toward me, the smile still on his face, but the smile was no longer attractive to me. The smile seemed to mock me and sent a chill down my spine.

Instinct told me to get away and I tried, crab-walking my way backward until my back was flush against the cool wall. “What’s going on? Why am I chained to the bed?” Panic was beginning to creep up within me and I scanned the room again. There were two doors. One was open, and I could see a countertop with a sink, so evidently that was a bathroom. The other door was closed and made of what I assumed to be solid oak.

The stranger stopped at the edge of the double bed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Yeah, about that, I couldn’t really trust that you wouldn’t go a little crazy when you woke up and do something stupid like try to escape.”