Freddy and Simon the Dictator (20 page)

He did not, of course, abandon the cause of votes for animals, and when he spoke in a hall, there was always a section of seats reserved for animals, and it was always well filled. Occasionally, Freddy appeared on the same platform, pleading the cause of animal suffrage. The pig was a very convincing speakerânot eloquent, but very matter-of-fact and practical, and therefore convincing. Even then, I suppose, he had political aspirations, though it wasn't until some years later that he actually ran for office.

Although the revolt had been suppressed, there was still a good deal of discontent among the woods animals. Campers and hunters were occasionally attacked and chased. Freddy spent the rest of that summer and fall in the woods, camping out and addressing groups of wild animals wherever he could get them together, urging them to seek a political remedy for their troubles, through votes for animals, rather than by the use of violence. Simon, he told them, stood for violence, and see what had happened to him.

With strong Republican pressure, a bill authorizing animal suffrage was rushed through the state legislature, and on election day, the Bean animals, led by Hank, carrying the flag of the F.A.R., marched into Centerboro and voted. And Mr. Camphor was elected governor by some seven million plurality over the Democratic candidate, Mr. Feebler. The animal vote was overwhelmingly Republican, and although no separate count was kept of animal and human votes, it was estimated that some twelve million animals voted.

Of course, after this, Freddy became a pretty powerful political figure. He controlled the animal vote in Otesaraga County and, consequently, since there were several times as many animals as humans, was political boss of the county. For a number of years, however, he resisted all attempts to persuade him to run for office. Some of the more influential animals in the state wanted to run him for governor, following Mr. Camphor. With the solid animal vote behind him, he was sure to win. But an animal, he felt, should not accept high political office, and although in the first few years of animal suffrage, there was a scattering of animal judges and mayors, Freddy fought the idea.

Also, Freddy remembered what Governor Camphor said to him on one of his frequent visits to Albany. “Darn it, Freddy,” the Governor said, “there's a lot of
work
to this job!”

Like most lazy people, Freddy could work and work hard when he wanted to. But when he didn't want toâwell, he just didn't want to. And he had a hunch that being governor was a full-time job. But several years later, he did run for office. He served a term as mayor of Centerboro, and it was during his administration that he solved the traffic problem which had so snarled everything up in most American cities. The Frederick Bean Traffic Plan has now been adopted in nearly every city and town in the nation. The solution was surprisingly simple: no parking within the city limits at any time. This made cars practically useless, and people gave them up and took to walking, thus improving the general health, and cutting down the cost of living. Indeed, its benefits have not been exhausted yet.

Freddy is now working on a bill to be brought up before the State Legislature, which will do away with all schools.

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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

ISBN: 978-1-4976-9230-5

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