Authors: Nova Weetman
Chapter 28
Five unanswered text messages. Where could Frankie be? Surely the chemist has to be open by now. It's after lunch.
Joely knows she shouldn't snoop in Frankie's things, but she can't help herself. She's bored, she hurts all over and she can't believe her friend is taking so long. Before she starts she shuts the bedroom door, just in case someone comes. She draws the curtains, too, and then has to turn on the light because the room is really dark.
The red bikini is sitting on top of all of Frankie's stuff in the drawer. She's glad it's on top and not buried in with her undies and bras. Before she can think about what she's doing, she pulls it out and strips off carefully, to avoid touching her blistered skin. She decides not to look at herself in the mirror until she has the bikini on. The top doesn't really fit because she has smaller boobs than Frankie, but she pulls hers up to try to make them look bigger. Frankie once showed her that trick, but she hasn't used it until now. The bottoms are just a bit too big too, which surprises Joely. She always thought they were about the same size in jeans.
She tries to look in the mirror, but all she can see are the top straps. She pulls her bed out from the wall so she can stand on it and see how the bottoms look. But she still can't check out the whole look and that's really what she wants to do. She decides to go to the full-length mirror in Jill's room.
It feels weird running down the hall in Frankie's bikini and Joely's not sure she could actually go outside. It just feels so tiny, so exposed. Not like her one piece and her rashie top that pretty much covers her body.
Jill and Ged's bedroom door is open. It's always open and Joely's happy about that. It's like they don't have anything to hide. Her mum always shuts her door. Even at night when Joely's in bed, she hears it click shut.
When Joely was really little and used to come to the farm with her mum, she sometimes got to sleep in Jill and Ged's bed. She could never work out where her mum was, but later Jill told her it was because she was trying to give her mum a rest. If Joely got sick, or if she had a nightmare, Jill would carry her in and tuck her between them, Ged snoring and not waking up, and Jill cuddling her until she went back to sleep. She can still remember the feel and smell of the sheets: crisp and vanillery. Just the sight of the bed now, makes her want to curl up and sleep. Maybe then her skin wouldn't hurt so much.
She tiptoes across the carpeted floor to the cupboards. Everything in Jill and Ged's bedroom is wood including an ancient chest of drawers that belonged to her grandmother. Her mum still mentions it sometimes like she's never quite recovered that things were willed to Jill instead of her. Joely sneaks in front of the mirror. The first thing she notices is how white and unfreckled her stomach is. It doesn't match the rest of her body. Hidden away under layers of clothes, it never sees the sun. Not like Frankie's perfectly brown stomach that makes Joely ache with envy.
She takes in the rest of her body, horrified at the sight of the blisters forming on her arms and neck. She tries to focus on the red lycra, determined not to see the bikini as she's seen it on Frankie, but just look at it as it is. But she can't. She feels like a little sunburnt girl in her mum's high heels.
As she hurries back to her room, desperate to get changed and bury the bikini back in the drawer, she crashes straight into Frankie.
âJoely, whatâ' starts Frankie.
But Joely is off, sprinting to the bedroom and slamming the door. In seconds, she rips the bikini off and pulls on her own clothes, not even feeling the blisters pop on her skin. She climbs into bed, pulls her sheet up and closes her eyes.
âJoel?' Frankie comes in and sits on the bed. âHave you seen Mack?'
âNo. I don't feel well. I've got blisters â¦' Underneath the sheet, Joely knows she can only stall for so long. She's just waiting for her face not to burn with embarrassment and she wishes Frankie would disappear.
âOh,' says Frankie. âSo you definitely haven't seen Mack?'
âNo.'
âWhy are you hiding?'
Joely pops her head out. âReally? You didn't see me?'
Frankie laughs. âYeah. Course I did.'
Joely buries her head into the pillow. âWell, you've been gone for ages,' she mumbles.
âSorry. I missed the bus and had to wait for the next one.'
Joely hears Frankie edging closer to her.
âYou can have the bikini, you know. It looked hot on you,' says Frankie softly.
It's all too much for Joely. She bursts into tears, crying for her friend's kindness and for how stupid she feels that she got caught trying to be something that she's not. She feels Frankie hug her gently and it just makes her cry harder and harder until she's blowing snot bubbles into the pillow.
âWhat's mine is yours. You know that,' says Frankie in Joely's ear.
Joely's never had a friend like Frankie: someone who shares her things and won't let her hide.
âActually that's not true. You can borrow everything except the new green coat I was just given in the op shop. Want to see it?'
Joely looks up, feeling red-faced, blistery and puffy. She nods like she's three and wipes her nose with the back of her hand, making Frankie laugh. âYou okay now?'
Joely nods again, not wanting to talk, worried that if she does she'll start crying again.
Frankie hops off the bed and grabs her bags from the hall. She throws them down on her bed and pulls out the green coat.
âDid you go clothes shopping?' sniffs Joely, noticing all the stuff.
âOp shopping. Sorry. I had to wait for the chemist to open.' Frankie unbuttons the coat and slips her arms in. She keeps her back to Joely until it's all buttoned up and the belt's tied around her waist. âTa da!' As Frankie spins round, she smiles.
Frankie looks so incredibly amazing in the coat that Joely starts crying all over again.
âThat bad?' says Frankie, rushing to hug Joely.
Joely manages to shake her head. âNo, beautiful, really beautiful.'
Frankie laughs. âThen stop crying, crazy lady!'
âSorry, I'll try.' Joely strokes the soft leather of the jacket. âThis is â¦'
âI know, right? And the lady in the op shop gave it to me. For nothing!'
Joely looks up and finds Frankie's eyes. She knows her friend never has any money and that she used to steal. That's why she always pays for her now because she doesn't want Frankie getting caught.
âHonestly, Joel,' says Frankie, hurt that Joely would doubt her. Suddenly, she doesn't want to tell her anything else. She doesn't want to tell the story of how the lady wore the jacket when she was young, and how amazing it had made her feel too. She stands up, cross that Joely's ruined the moment. She'd never steal anything as beautiful as this coat anyway. Maybe a chocolate bar or a can of drink, but never anything of meaning. She's tried to explain the code to Joely, but it's one of those things her friend will never understand. Just like finding something this rare in an op shop in a town like Payne.
âAnd I didn't spend your money either. I had a few dollars that Mum gave me. Here's your receipt and change to prove it.' Frankie throws coins and the receipt at Joely. âI bought you a dress for the party. It's in the bag. It's blue and it will cover all the burnt bits.'
âFrank, I'm sorry, I didn't meanâ'
âWhatever,' says Frankie not looking at her. âI'm going to have a shower.'
Chapter 29
Mack takes a beer from his dad's fridge. He doesn't care what shit he'll get into. He sits down on Thommo's motorbike and drinks. The sky is as beautiful as ever, but tonight Mack just glares at the stars. Right now he hates the heat, the dusty ground and the dying trees. Even the sound of the cattle, usually cheery, makes him want to shoot them all and save them the pain of starving to death. He sculls the rest of the beer before the hot air warms it. He wants to toss the stubbie into the paddock, but he knows his dad would be angrier about finding glass near the cows than he would if Mack drank everything in the fridge.
He doesn't know what to do. He can't go to bed because he'll just lie there seeing Rory's hands on Frankie's bum. He hears someone walking across the driveway. He stands up, ready to disappear before anyone can find him. But Frankie steps into the shed and it's too late.
âMack.'
âThat's my name.'
âAbout today â¦' says Frankie, hating that she has to have this conversation at all.
âYeah?'
âDo you mind not telling anyone?'
âAbout what?'
âAbout me ⦠and Rory,' she says as if he doesn't already know what she's talking about.
âHe's an arsehole,' says Mack, staring straight at her.
âNo,' says Frankie defending Rory only because she got caught kissing him, not because she doubts that Mack might be right.
âYeah, he bloody is. I've known him my whole life. He's an arsehole.'
âJust don't tellâ'
âWhy? Why do you care who knows?'
Frankie doesn't answer at first. She doesn't really know what to say. He's right. Why does she care? She shouldn't. Not after Joely basically called her a thief. But then there's Thommo. And she definitely doesn't want him knowing.
âI just don'tâ'
âYou like secrets, don't you? My brother likes you and Joely needs you, and you're off fucking around with Macleod.'
âI'm not.'
âMay as well be.'
Mack picks up the empty bottle and throws it, smashing glass across the ground. Swearing, he storms away.
Staring at the shattered glass, Frankie thinks of her mum and of how she must have felt when Frankie's dad left. She remembers when Frankie found his photo after they'd moved house again, and being embarrassed by how in love her mum looked when Frankie asked who the man was. Even after all that time why would her mum still light up when it was clear he'd barely ever wanted anything to do with her? Frankie would never feel like that. She would never be happy to be someone's scraps.
She hears Mack's motorbike start up. She wonders where he's going and how much he's been drinking. But it's nothing to do with her anymore. After today they will probably never have a real conversation again. Thinking about him, about his coldness, Frankie's jaw tightens. He has no right to be rude to her, to treat her like she's just some girl in the way. It's not her fault she's disappointed him. He shouldn't have hoped for so much.
Chapter 30
Joely can smell the rotting kangaroo from where she sits in the dark on the edge of the road, but strangely it comforts her. The smell is her beacon because the clouds are so thick they've covered the stars and made it hard to see.
She wonders if her skin will smell similar when the blisters start to burst. Dead things shouldn't have a scent. They should dry up quickly like a fallen branch or an empty cicada shell. Not rot slowly, exposed to all the creatures choosing their next meal. She wishes now that she'd made Thommo help her bury the body properly. It isn't right that it lies in a ditch, waiting for time to make it disappear.
Joely's never gone walking at night in the city. It's always scared her. She doesn't even like taking out the bins. She's always envied girls who venture out bravely after daylight, like vampires moving through the dark without fear. She thinks Frankie might be one of them.
But this road, this place, is different. It doesn't scare her.
Maybe Joely could stay here on the farm. Jill could teach her things, real things. She wouldn't mind peeling potatoes every night, and making breakfast every day. Her skin might even grow used to the weather and start to love the sun.
She wouldn't miss much about home: not her mum or her old friends. Not even her stuff. Just Frankie. Joely didn't mean to upset Frankie. She wonders if Frankie tried on the blue dress she gave her first or if she picked it out especially. Joely hates having these awful thoughts about her best friend, particularly when Frankie is being so kind to her. Before they came on this holiday, Joely never really had bad thoughts about her. So from now on, it will be them against the world. She'll do everything Frankie wants to do, even if it means lying on the grass at the pool and frying every freckle on her skin. Again. And again. And again.
Thinking about Frankie makes her wonder what time it is. It feels like it's after midnight. She's waited ages and she can't wait any longer. What if Frankie wakes up and notices she's gone?
She only came here hoping to see Rory. She was sure he'd appear, cigarette in hand, and kiss her, like before. But there's only the heat to keep her company and the rotting kangaroo.
Maybe he's already been. That must be it. She must have missed him because she had to wait ages for Frankie to fall asleep before she could sneak out. It's just like Frankie to make it impossible for her to see the boy she's waited all day to see.
Now she has to go home to her bed to dream about meeting Rory here tomorrow night when they celebrate New Year's Eve, together. And the kiss that will secure how they feel.
Chapter 31
âHappy New Year's Eve,' whispers a voice in Joely's ear.
She can't open her eyes. The skin around them hurts and she knows the popped blisters will be a total mess this morning and that it will look gross.
âJoel. Wake up! It's nearly lunchtime.'
She slowly rolls over and sees Frankie grinning at her.
âWhat?' she growls.
âIt's the last day of the year!'
Frankie must have forgiven her for yesterday. That's something at least. Her friend leans close and her glowing skin makes Joely close her eyes again.
âThought we could do manicures. And facials, or not ⦠because that might hurt. But pedicures wouldn't!'
Joely keeps her eyes closed, hoping that Frankie will be gone by the time she opens them and replaced by Rory, handsome and attentive.
âI'll be in the kitchen, Joel.'
The kitchen table is covered in jars of polish, two towels are stretched out on two chairs and bowls filled with milky liquid sit waiting. Frankie's finished her own fingernails and toenails, but she's disappointed at the lack of ceremony. She had a whole afternoon planned in her head, but now Joely won't get up, and she's waiting for Jill to come into the kitchen and boot her out.
âOh â¦' Thommo starts to back out when he sees it's her.
They haven't talked much since Thommo cracked it after the movie, but Frankie's hoping he's forgiven her because she really wants some company. She smiles. âSit down. I'll give you a manicure.'
The look on his face makes her laugh. âPlease ⦠I'll take it off again if you hate it.'
âUm, I've got to move the cows into the other paddock,' he says.
âIt's New Year's Eve, Thommo. Usually I'm at home with my mum watching her drink herself to sleep so I'm pretty excited to be here. If you let me do a manicure then I'll help you move the cows.'
He shrugs, like he's trying out her way of answering the world. âOkay.'
She watches as he walks slowly into the kitchen and sits down on one of the chairs.
âUm, what do I do?'
âPut your left hand in the bowl and let it soak for a minute.'
His hand is so big that only his fingertips fit.
âWhat colour do you want?'
âI don't.'
âJust pretend.'
âOkay. Black.'
Frankie smiles at him, knowing he'd say that. It's the only ânot-real' colour among them all. âThought you'd choose pink.'
âOnly on Saturdays.'
âBlack's a good choice for a party.' She reaches over and takes his hand, drying his fingers on the towel. She knows he's blushing, so she doesn't look at him, just focuses on his nails. She pushes his cuticles down, one after the other, tidying up all the rough bits.
âSo is tonight a big deal?' She starts painting his nails, hiding the dirt and making them smooth and black.
âYeah, I guess. Everyone comes, if that's what you mean,' he says.
âSo what's with you and Maggie?'
He tries to pull his hand away, but she holds on tight.
âNothing.'
She nods. âI didn't think so. She's not really your type, is she?' She looks up at him and is surprised that he's looking straight back at her, with no sign of red on his cheeks. âNo, she's not.'
She waits for him to say more, but he doesn't. Instead, he takes his other hand out of the bowl and dries it on the towel. Then he stretches his fingers out for her to paint. The wire door bangs shut and Frankie tenses, hoping it's not Mack.
âWhat's going on?' Jill bustles into the room with her shopping.
âI'm doing manicures. You're up next,' says Frankie like it's the most normal thing in the world.
Jill picks up Thommo's hand. âHope it comes off before your brother sees it.'
Thommo pulls his hand free and blows on his nails. âI like it.' He stands up and smiles at his mum before looking shyly at Frankie. âI'll be back soon for the cows.'
âOkay,' says Frankie as Thommo walks away.
Jill shoots her a look. âCows?'
âYeah. I promised,' says Frankie.
Jill slams the kettle onto the stove.
âI'll make the tea,' says Frankie. âYou sit down. I'll do your nails too.'
âNot now. I don't have time,' says Jill, fussing over the teapot.
âPlease,' says Frankie.
Jill sighs and looks at her. âHave you got red?'
Frankie smiles. âThree shades.'
Jill slides into the chair and puts her hands in the bowl. She looks at Frankie as if she's trying to work something out. âDo you like it here?'
âYeah. I do.' Frankie takes Jill's hand and dries it gently. She rubs the emery board over the nails that are barely there. Obviously Jill doesn't have much time for things like this.
âAre you homesick?'
Frankie laughs. âYou need a home for that.'
Jill passes her a bottle of red polish.
âThis one's nicer,' says Frankie reaching for the darker shade. âAnd it looks great on toes.'
âToes too?'
Frankie looks up, noticing how sparkly Jill's eyes are and how much they remind her of Thommo's. âYeah. Course. I'm pampering you!'
Jill shrugs like she doesn't care which colour Frankie uses. But she will, thinks Frankie, when she sees how great it is.
Joely walks slowly into the kitchen. Her skin hurts, her head hurts and she needs a drink. âHave you seen Frankie?'
Jill answers by holding out her hands and dancing on the spot. Joely spots the bright red on her fingers and toes, and thinks how strange it is to see something so out of place on her aunt.
âWhat do you think?'
Jill looks so proud that Joely wants to crush it. It's not up to Frankie to make Jill feel like that. âGreat. Bit bright,' says Joely regretting it as soon as she sees the doubt flooding Jill's face. She tries to backtrack. âNo, it's good. Honest, Jill. It'll look nice with your red dress.'
But Jill has stopped dancing and gone back to the potato salad. Joely knows she's poisoned the moment.
âFrankie's helping Thommo move the cows.'
âI thought she was doing my face for tonight and helping me hide the blisters,' says Joely.
âGuess she didn't want to sit around all day waiting for you to get up, love,' says Jill.
âWhatever. I'll do it myself.'
Stomping out of the kitchen, Joely can't quite work out why she's so angry. It's just that wherever Frankie goes she seems to make people love her. There's no room for an encore, for her.
Back in her room, Joely grabs her phone. Her mum has rung. And that's it. She rings Frankie's number and hears the phone ringing somewhere in the room. She throws her phone on the bed.
If Frankie really cared she wouldn't have gone off moving cows. If she were really her friend then she'd be here, in this room and fighting over the fan with her.
The book Frankie's brought with her is sitting on the bedside table. Finally she can see what Frankie's been reading all this time. Joely reaches for it and reads the title:
Picnic at Hanging Rock
.
A
bunch of girls in long white dresses dance on the cover. She flicks through it, seeing all the marked corners where Frankie has stopped. She finds the most current corner and reads:
A picnic was no fun without Miranda ⦠Always Miranda, coming and going in the dazzling light. Like a rainbow ⦠Oh, Miranda, Marion, where have you gone � The shadow of the Rock has grown darker and longer. They sit rooted to the ground and cannot move. The dreadful shape is a living monster lumbering towards them across the plain, scattering rocks and boulders. So near now, they can see the cracks and hollows where the lost girls lie rotting in a filthy cave.
Joely stops, surprised by the language, surprised because she's always considered herself smarter. Frankie's the pretty one and Joely's the smart one. It just works that way. But this book is more complex than Joely imagined. Joely doubts her friend has even read this many pages and, if she has, then she isn't really taking them in. Frankie obviously just wants people to ask what it is she's reading.
Joely straightens the corner, using her nail to erase the indent of the bent page. She flicks forward ten pages or so and bends that corner instead, then puts the book back on the table.
Lying on her bed, she keeps looking over at the book. She feels guilty now and wonders why she did it. If Frankie were here, instead of somewhere with Thommo, then she wouldn't have. And if Frankie were really reading the book then she would know that someone swapped the bent page. She reaches for the book again, ready to fix her meddling, but then realises she can't remember where the real page was. Now she's embarrassed at herself for being so foolish and even angrier at Frankie for making her do something she would never normally do.
She hears the wire door open and Frankie's voice. She ducks under the sheet, wondering if she can pretend she's asleep and be left alone for a bit longer. But then Frankie might grab the book and go outside to read in the sun and realise that someone has been fiddling with it. Joely isn't ready for that conversation so she sits up in bed and waits for her friend.
Frankie comes in holding two icy poles. âJill wasn't around so I raided the freezer. Red or green?'
âRed. No, green.'
Frankie tears open the packet and hands her the green one.
âI've been moving the cows with Thommo. They're so skinny, Joel. It's awful.'
Joely can't look at her. She feels sick about the book, and even sicker that she doubted her friend was reading it. She struggles to remember feeling hurt about Frankie deserting her, just so she has something to hold onto.
âDo you feel okay?'
âNot really,' sniffs Joely.
Frankie reaches forward and rubs Joely's forehead. Tears run down Joely's face.
âDon't cry,' says Frankie softly.
âI'm not really.' She snorts back the snot in her nose, making both of them laugh. The icy pole drips down her hand, splashing green bombs across the white sheet. Joely licks around the stick, tasting the fake lime flavour, wishing she'd taken the red one instead.
âManicure first? Or pedicure? Or face?' says Frankie grinning.
Joely desperately wants to tell Frankie she doesn't need her, but she does. She can't make herself look okay without her help.
âManicure.'
Frankie beams, like Joely's just given her the meaning of the world. âI've even got the perfect colour to match your new dress!' Frankie says.
âWere you helping Thommo?'
Frankie nods. âYeah. He's sweet, isn't he?' She licks the red icy pole and smiles.
âReally?'
âYeah. He didn't laugh at me when I wouldn't touch the skinny cow.'
âHe likes you,' says Joely distractedly.
âIt's not about that.'
âHe does though.'
âDon't say that. Don't ruin it.'
Frankie stands up, moving away from her. âHe's nice to me. Don't make it about something else. Can't he just be nice to me?'
âWhat's wrong with him liking you?' says Joely, having no idea why the conversation has gone so wrong.
âIt's not always about that.'
Joely doesn't understand anyone anymore. She thought they'd share a laugh about Thommo's little crush. She didn't think Frankie would get upset.
âI'm sorry, Frankie, I didn'tâ'
âWhatever,' answers Frankie, cutting any further conversation. âCome on. Let's do your nails.' Frankie walks out of the room.
Joely wishes the day would just end.