Four Friends (22 page)

“A person who feared loss of control,” the doctor inserted. “It’s common for absolutely everyone, not just patients in a psychiatric facility.”

Suddenly Sonja’s eyes widened dramatically. “Oh, my God,
was
I trying to control George?”

“Perhaps,” Dr. Kalay said with a shrug. “Or perhaps you were controlling your own life, of which George has been a significant part. That’s why you go to therapy, Sonja. All you have to do is gain an understanding of your responses and you can choose alternate paths that work better for you.”

“Wow,” she said, sitting back. She thought for a moment and then said, “You have the chimes, the waterfall. You visit an herbalist. Why?”

Dr. Kalay smiled. “Comfort. Personal taste.”

“Is your house filled with stuff like that?”

“I have a six foot tall waterfall in the courtyard outside my office at home—it’s wonderful for me. I love the sound of cascading water. My husband has a very large statue of the Virgin Mary in his—he’s Mexican, Catholic. We have very few beliefs in common, just the ancient ones that descend from his Aztec roots and my Islamic ancestors, none of which includes waterfalls or Blessed Virgins.”

“Really,” Sonja said, kind of wonderstruck, impressed that two people from such different worlds could accept each other like that.

Dr. Kalay leaned forward. “I’m sorry you have so many adjustments to make, so much hard emotional work to do, but I’m very proud of your progress. Just a couple of weeks and look how far you’ve come,” she said, paging through the chart. “You’re eating and sleeping better, responding in group. It’s so much advancement in a short period of time. Even so, I want you to agree to stay longer—at least the full thirty days. I recommend that, but you realize you’re here by your own will and can check out whenever you like. In order to commit you involuntarily, it would require a life-threatening situation and a court order. I’m so glad we didn’t have to act on something as alarming as that.”

“Thirty days?” she asked weakly, though she’d known from the beginning it could come to that. “I miss my house. My bed.”

“I know,” the doctor said. “I would, too.”

“And it’s very expensive here, isn’t it? I talk to some of the others—some patients have been in other, less fancy hospitals. It’s hard to get in here, hard to afford.”

“Correct,” the doctor said. “Your husband has good insurance and in addition has guaranteed payment for your stay, no matter how long. You’re very fortunate.”

“I suppose,” she said. “That’s kind of hard to swallow.”

“Is it?” Dr. Kalay asked.

“Of course,” Sonja said. “I really don’t like George spending a lot of money on something like this.”

“Are you concerned about his finances?”

“Concerned?” she asked with a short laugh. “Oh, God, not at all. George is actually rich, though you’d never know it. He lives pretty cheaply, but that’s because he’s hooked on investing. He has a lot more fun looking at a portfolio balance than spending money on something expensive, extravagant or entertaining. It’s just that if this is good for me, something I need, I’d like to be able to afford it myself—and I can’t.”

Dr. Kalay folded her hands and smiled. “It’s beyond most of us, Sonja. It would be very difficult for me, as well. But apparently it’s not a burden for George. I don’t think you have to take on that worry.”

Sonja let out a laugh. “Oh, believe me, I’m not. I’m just sorry I’m not successful. I never learned how to be successful. That comes in handy, especially in emergencies.”

“Absolutely,” Dr. Kalay said. “But then, there are many definitions of success.”

“Yeah, I get that. But George’s is to throw money at his problems—and right now I’m the problem he’s trying to make go away. He’s just a sleazy, passive-aggressive cocksucker in a business suit and I
hate
him.”

Dr. Kalay was shocked enough that it showed in her posture, her startled expression. But then the expression melted into a grin. Not the usual soft, patient, sensitive smile, but a large grin that showed her beautiful teeth. “Well, now,” she said. “Perhaps we won’t skip the anger stage, after all.”

* * *

A few minor changes brought some stability to the Gilbert home. Phil was living closer and thus spending more time around the house. Jessie was grounded, so there was no panic about whether she’d be getting into mischief. Sonja was in the hospital and without Phil to wake the kids in the morning, Gerri was going into her office a little later. Even though it pushed Andy for time in the morning, they moved their power walk to six-thirty rather than six. Thirty minutes of extra sleep felt like all the difference.

“I hate to admit this,” Gerri told Andy, “but I think the hormones are helping. I’m on the lowest dose, but rather than a hot flash an hour, it’s more like two a day.”

“And you feel more stable mood-wise?”

“I haven’t opened fire on anyone in a couple of weeks,” she said with a laugh. “Seriously, that might not be the hormones. I have Phil right down the street, much more available, and the kids are mysteriously well behaved. Besides, if you ask Phil, I’ve always been a loose cannon, mood-wise. He’s been on something for twenty-five years, I swear to God. I mean, what’s he got to be so pleasant about? Huh?”

“He’s spending more time around the house?” Andy asked.

“Sort of. If I have to work late, he can usually get to the house by six or seven and when he’s tied up, I’m there. He comes over a lot of evenings just to use the office rather than being stuck with his laptop. He comes for dinner sometimes, sometimes he brings food, gets in a little time with the kids. He can stay longer since he doesn’t have to drive back to the city. And we haven’t been fighting much. It’s almost like living together, but not living together.”

“How’s the counseling going?” Andy asked.

“Top secret,” Gerri said. “I quit. We can’t let Phil know—he’ll think he can quit. I’m not letting him off that easy.”

“Why’d you quit?” Andy asked, surprised.

“She wouldn’t stick to the issues,” Gerri said with a shrug. “I needed to talk about my relationship with Phil, how things got derailed, and she wanted to go back to my childhood, my parents’ type of discipline, earlier relationships—all kinds of stuff that don’t apply.”

“Are you sure they don’t?”

“Well, maybe there’s some stuff in there that could be looked at, but I’ve had a lot of counseling before now. It’s a job requirement. Believe me, I’m all caught up on childhood traumas, grief and anger, etcetera. I have a husband problem. At least I had one seven years ago, whether I knew it or not. Things are almost normal at our house these days. I’m thinking of going out on a limb and asking him if he’d like to have an evening out, away from the house and kids. See if we can talk about the future without fighting.”

“Sounds like there might be a reconciliation in the wind,” Andy said.

“I love Phil. That’s why the idea of another woman has been so hard. It’s like there was a gap in our relationship that he had to fill with someone else, and I didn’t know about it beforehand, when I had a chance to face up to it, do something about it. How am I supposed to handle that?”

“But you seem to have some ideas now. What it was, what was missing,” Andy said. “He told you he was tempted, he didn’t want to be done with his sex life, and you’re the first to admit that it was a low priority with you.”

“Yeah, but that’s after the fact. The problem is, I didn’t stand a chance. He never said it was something he needed us to work on. I mean, come on. I can be honest—yes, there were times he suggested sex and I made excuses, but he accepted them so easily, it was like it hadn’t really been that important to him. Maybe I’m not the hot ticket I was when he married me, but I’ve always listened to what Phil had to say. We’ve always been able to figure things out, compromise. But instead of making himself heard, he went outside the marriage, screwed around. I’m not a fucking clairvoyant.”

Staring straight ahead and walking fast, Gerri’s voice became a little warbly. “I want him home so bad,” she said. “But not until, not unless I can be sure he can level with me, be honest about his feelings. And faithful. My God. I have to believe he’ll be faithful. Is that asking too much?”

“Of course not,” Andy said. “Gerri, I just don’t get the whole low-sex-drive thing. I love sex. I’d be very vulnerable if I had a partner who wasn’t interested in making love. Am I just plain oversexed? Or is it because I don’t have three kids and a job filled with emotionally draining social-services cases?”

“Hmm, those things suck a lot out of me, that’s for sure. Doesn’t leave me feeling very sexy.” Then she grinned at Andy. “So, how are you holding up? Need me to buy you a box of batteries for the vibrator to get you through the dry spell?”

“As a matter of fact, no,” Andy said.

“Ah,” Gerri said. “Sounds like you upgraded to the plug-in model.”

“I moved on to the warm, cuddly, kissing model,” she said quietly.

Gerri stopped walking. “Huh?”

“I guess you haven’t noticed,” Andy said. “There’s been a vehicle in front of my house some nights....”

“I haven’t noticed,” Gerri said. “Oh, Andy, what are you thinking? You know it’s too soon after Bryce.”

Andy resumed walking, leaving Gerri to catch up. “Probably, but I don’t care. My life is different now than when Bryce first materialized. Back then I had a teenager at home, now I barely see him. And even though I know what you’re going to say, this is different.”

“Bullshit,” Gerri said.

“Bingo. That’s what I thought you’d say.”

“It’s too soon, you’re too vulnerable. It’s going to suck you in, lock you up. You know a rebound lover will eventually tear you up, break your heart and send you out looking again.”

“No,” Andy said.

“And you’re going to cry and ask me why I didn’t stop you before you got involved.”

“You’re wrong.”

“I’ve known you for fifteen years and I love you like a sister. You’re nearly perfect in my eyes, but for some reason you can’t make it long without a man in your life. Even if it’s the wrong man,” Gerri said.

“That’s crap. I didn’t have a guy in my life after Rick, not for two years. A long two years by the way. And after the courtship, Bryce wasn’t all that attentive. But this is different. I swear, it’s something I’ve never experienced before.”

They both stopped walking and just looked at each other. “I’ve heard that before. What the hell’s so different this time?” Gerri asked.

“It’s Bob,” Andy said.

Andy thought the look that came over Gerri’s face was priceless. Her hand went to her chest in a mock heart attack. She took several steps backward, her heel caught on the curb and she fell back onto the grass in a fake collapse. Andy stood over her, hands on her hips, looking down at her with a wry smile. “Very funny,” she said. “That verged on impolite.”

“Bob?” Gerri asked from a reclining position.

“Sweet, lovable, precious, highly-evolved-spirit Bob,” Andy said with a grin.

“Bob, the carpenter?”

“Oh, stop it!” Andy said, marching away. “Shame on you,” she called out over her shoulder.

Gerri scrambled to her feet and quickly caught up. “Bob?” she asked yet again.

“If you keep doing that I’m not telling you why.”

“Okay, I’m done.
Why?
”

“Because he’s the greatest man I’ve ever known. I spent so much time with him while he was working in the kitchen and I adore him. He’s so sane, so giving. He has an understanding of humanity that goes beyond anything I’ve experienced. I had deeper, more meaningful conversations with Bob before I even hugged him than I’ve had with two husbands and at least five boyfriends. I’m completely hooked on the human being he is. He’s just amazing.”

“He’s five-eight, overweight, bald, withdrawn and a carpenter. Not your usual type,” Gerri said.

“He’s so totally wonderful. You have no idea. Besides, don’t you think he’s kind of sexy? In his own way? I love his smile, his eyebrows. His hands....”

“Andy, I’ve known you a long time. Through those two husbands and five boyfriends. By the way it might’ve been five boyfriends, but there was a baker’s dozen that didn’t achieve boyfriend status. Never mind—all of them were very good-looking hard-bodies with impressive jobs and lots of sex appeal. Most were younger than you.”

“Yeah,” Andy said. “I had no idea what I was missing.”

“Oh, God, you’ve lost your newly reclaimed virginity to
Bob?
”

“You’re pissing me off. I adore Bob.”

“I’m having an out-of-body experience,” Gerri said. “This isn’t happening. Am I going to have to take you to the clinic, too? What’s going on here? Are you thinking that with someone like Bob you can play it safe? That he won’t have all the same flaws the men before him had?”

“Oh, for God’s sake, aren’t you listening? It’s not about his looks! But by the way, I find him awfully cute. I know he’s not tall, handsome and muscular—it just isn’t what got my attention. Could I have a little credit for a working brain here? Maybe I finally got smart, ever think of that?”

“You’ve always been smart,” Gerri said. “You’ve also always been really...what’s a polite word?”

“Horny?”

“I’m sure there are more polite words, but that one works. Holy shit, Andy. How old is Bob?”

“Fifty-three,” she said with a shrug. “How old is Phil?”

Phil was the same age. “And all the parts are totally functional?” Gerri asked instead of answering the question.

“If you mean private parts, he’s outperforming the two, the five and the baker’s dozen.”

“Whoa,” Gerri said, speechless.

“You can’t judge a book by its cover. And he’s nuts about me.”

“What does Noel say?”

“Noel met him in passing during the kitchen work, and I’ve invited him to dinner about four times in the past couple of weeks and he’s been busy. But why should I worry about what Noel thinks? Does he run his personal life by me? I haven’t met a girlfriend since senior prom and I know he’s dating. There has to be more than one reason that apartment his friends have is more appealing than his own home. I’m not looking for Noel’s approval anymore.”