Forward Passes (Seattle Lumberjacks) (12 page)

Tyler recognized a ‘fuck off’ when he heard one. His head pounded from all the tension, while Doris’s oppressive selfishness smothered him. It was all about her, to hell with her granddaughter and what she wanted. He’d never witnessed such an impressive job of brainwashing, even if his old coach might deserve their ridicule, which he doubted.

Tyler turned to leave when Doris called to him. Turning back, he saw her lip curl into a cruel snarl. “My granddaughter needs a man with integrity, with brains, with a future. She needs a man who has more to show for his life than a Super Bowl ring.”

“Two Super Bowl rings.” Tyler faked a cocky grin. For a minute, he swore the woman would launch herself at him and start punching.

“Regardless. You are not that man.”

With an indifferent shrug, Tyler strolled away, purposely keeping his gait slow and easy, as if these crazy people didn’t affect him one bit. What he really wanted to do was beat tracks back to the relative quiet and safety of his mansion. When he passed the gate between the properties, Cougar jumped off the fence post where he’d been waiting and ran ahead to the back door.

Irritation ruffled Tyler’s ego, along with a bone-deep fear of his inadequacy. He wasn’t good enough for Lavender, wasn’t good enough for anyone. He was just a dumb jock. A guy who wouldn’t have anything going for him if it wasn’t for his arm, his talent for reading defenses, and his ability to make something out of nothing. Not to mention his money.

But money didn’t buy respect or piece of mind.

If it wasn’t for his athletic ability, he’d be homeless and living under the Alaskan Way viaduct because he’d never have made it out of high school, let alone college. His only marketable skills depended on his muscles and his no-quit attitude.

Except that attitude had deserted him last season, leaving him with a big fat zero in the positive qualities department. Without his killer instincts, his drive, his ambition, he didn’t have much else going for him. A blanket of fear smothered Tyler, made it hard to breathe, like he was on the bottom of a dog pile of three-hundred-pound linemen.

He slumped into a chair and stared mindlessly at the flames from the fireplace. Coug perched on the back of the chair. His tail whipped back and forth in annoyance over God knew what. Tyler felt like shit. Not on the outside, but on the inside. He really was a first-class ass, and he didn’t deserve all the good things that’d come this way in his life.

Hell, he couldn’t even grant a dying kid’s last wish. That’s how much of a failure he was. And he’d just been a real ass to Lavender and made her life hell when it came to her grandparents for no reason other than to be the asshole everyone expected him to be.

Tyler sighed and wondered if he could sink much lower.

Chapter 14

Broken Tackle

Tyler strode into the VC, pretending he owned the world and everyone in it. His asshole mode served him well, especially when confusion reigned inside his head. At least on the outside, he appeared in control.

He hesitated when he saw Xandra, not Lavender, mixing drinks. He considered leaving, but driven by curiosity, he kept walking across the room. He sat his butt on
his
bar stool. Xandra slid a beer across the counter to him. He stared at the label of his favorite brew and decided not to ask how she’d known what he wanted to drink.

“Where’s Vinnie?” He glanced around the bar. The Brothers played cards in the far corner. Except for their table, the place was deserted.

“She’s off today. My day to work. She volunteers at the senior center then she makes the Brothers dinner at Homer’s house.”

“Oh.” Tyler had no clue that she cooked for the Brothers or volunteered with seniors. Not knowing this detail of her life rankled him. Not that he cared one darn bit. He smiled to himself, proud that he’d used
darn
not
fuck
, and in his thoughts. Lavender would be impressed, not that it mattered.

“Besides, she’s not speaking to you.”

Crap.
“I figured as much.” He scrubbed his face with his hands and took a deep breath, but nothing eased the shame weighing him down.

“Don’t you get it?”

“Not really.” Which was the crux of the matter. He had questions. Zan, as Lavender’s best friend and cousin, should have the answers, at least to the less personal questions—the ones about his coach.

His instincts warned it was best to let sleeping dogs lie and not get any deeper into this. He couldn’t. He’d already seen his high school coach accused of points shaving, now his revered college coach appeared to be a deadbeat dad. In the four years he’d been around Brian Gerloch, he’d never mentioned a daughter, just a son who’d played college ball for a few years.

But first he needed to settle a score with Zan. “So what’s with this sensitive crap?”

“Being called sensitive disturbs you?” She rubbed a wine glass dry with a towel and gave him one of those all-knowing looks that really got under his skin.

“Hell, yeah. You insulted my manhood.”

“Tyler, you are one messed up guy.”

He couldn’t dispute that fact. His frown tightened the mask of indifference on his face. “I’m not sensitive.”

“You are sensitive. It’s common for alpha males to hide their sensitivity behind an asshole exterior, but you’ve honed it to an art form. I’ve never seen someone so out of touch with their real self.”

He decided to ignore her bullshit and cut to the chase. “So you’re Lavender’s cousin?”

“First cousin.” She pressed her lips tight and regarded him with suspicion, reluctant to give too much information. Obviously, she didn’t consider him trustworthy.

“Mother’s side or father’s side?”

“Father’s.”

Ah, pay dirt.
Tyler sized up the defense and did an end run. He wanted more information. “So what’s the deal with her dad? What did he do?” Lavender’s entire dysfunctional family seemed to thrive on emotional responses, rather than discussing their problems in a forthright, logical manner. Perhaps, he’d find out the truth from her dad’s side of the family.

“What didn’t he do? We don’t like him.”

Okaaay. Well.
“We?” Puzzled, Tyler tried to make sense of it all.

“My parents, me, the rest of the family.”

So much for pay dirt. Hell, even the coach’s own family had turned against him.

“Was he abusive?” Tyler braced himself for the truth he may not want to hear. To generate such dislike among people who should love you indicated some form of severe abuse, maybe even sexual abuse. Yet, he had to know what his once-revered coach had done to deserve these people’s obsessive hatred.

“Abusive?” She blinked, as if she couldn’t comprehend the question.

“Yeah, all of you have such strong feelings about him I figured he’d beaten her or Lavender or both.” Tyler held his breath and waited for the answer. He’d take the bastard out himself if Coach had laid a hand on his daughter.

“Oh, no, nothing like that.” Xandra studied him like he was fu—flipping crazy.

Relief flooded him even as confusion set in. “Then I don’t get it.”

“I shouldn’t be telling you this. It’s really Vinnie’s place to tell you what she wants you to know.”

“So give me a clue.”

She leaned forward and lowered her voice. “He wasn’t there.”

“He wasn’t where?” Tyler didn’t have much patience for evasiveness. In his mind, the crime didn’t match the punishment. There had to be more.

“You know, he wasn’t around. He was never there for Vinnie. He didn’t even attend her high school graduation. Never called her on birthdays or Christmas, never even sent a card. He missed every important moment in her life.”

“That’s it? He wasn’t there? I mean it sucks, but it could be worse.” He wanted to knock his head against the wall. None of this made sense. The animosity generated by Doris and her followers seemed out of proportion. Not that he could excuse his coach’s actions, but damn, he’d heard a hell of a lot worse.

“Isn’t that bad enough?”

“The way the family carries on, I figured he was a child molester or a rapist or an abuser.”

Xandra sighed, as if he was too dense to get it. “Are your parents divorced, Tyler?”

Tyler snorted at the ludicrous thought, even as he sought to swallow around the lump forming in his throat. “Heck no, not them. My dad died a few years ago when I was in college. Suddenly. Heart attack. He’d been as healthy as a horse.” Why he told her this stuff, he’d never know.

“I’m sorry.” Her words rang true, not the shallow words most people spoke which meant nothing.

“Up until the day he died, they were as disgustingly in love as they were when they married years ago. High school sweethearts and all that crap. Totally devoted to each other. My mom says she’ll never find another man like him, and she’s not going to look.”

“I think that’s incredible. You were very lucky to have a family like that.”

Tyler rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right. Try living up to their standards. I don’t even attempt it.”

Xandra stared at him to the point where he started to squirm. He’d given away too much of what went on inside his head. “You’re very proud of them.”

Tyler scrambled to steer the conversation away from his personal life. “How long has it been since Coach has seen Lavender?”

“After the divorce about twelve years ago, Uncle Brian took the assistant coach job across state at WSU. A month later Lavender’s mom died in a car accident. Uncle Brian left them with the grandparents for the summer. He never came back for them. After that, he made a few feeble attempts to see the kids. Eventually, he never called, never sent them any cards. He just went away. He didn’t pay a penny of child support. Poor Doris and Larry struggled to raise two teenagers. Lavender acted out. She was a handful. Her brother, Andy, just retreated into himself. Football became his life.”

“Are you sure he never paid child support?” Tyler scratched his head. He didn’t know much about child support, but he couldn’t believe it was that easy to just walk away and not pay anything, especially when the person earned a state salary.

“Doris told me so. The woman is a good, honest person. Very devout. She’d never lie.”

Tyler wasn’t so certain about that. The bitch oozed with manipulative dishonesty.

“My Uncle Brian deserted his kids. My mom and dad don’t speak to him. No one in the family does, not
after what he did to
the kids.”

“What about the brother? Andy?”

“After he graduated from high school, he went to WSU against his grandmother’s wishes, walked on the team and made it. Doris was so furious, she hasn’t spoken to him since.”

“That’s nice of her.”

Zan ignored the dig. “She sacrificed everything for her kids. She was always there for them.
Always.
The first chance Andy got, he betrayed her.”

“I wouldn’t call wanting to have a relationship with your father betrayal exactly.” But what the hell did Tyler know? His family came straight out of 1950s sitcom, except his mother actually worked. He’d lived a perfect life growing up, yet he was majorly fucked up. Big time. He had no right to judge anyone else’s family dynamics.

“Doris won’t compromise when it comes to Uncle Brian. You’re either with her or you’re not.”

“That’s too bad.” Tyler shut his mouth and dropped the subject. This entire situation didn’t add up, and he’d be damned if he’d navigate that emotional powder keg. It was none of his effing business. His relationship with Lavender amounted to sex and nothing else.

Assholes didn’t have relationships with meaning. Nor did they get involved in the family affairs of others.

* * * * *

Tyler strode into the bar, and Lavender recognized a man on a mission. By the set of Tyler’s jaw, she suspected she wouldn’t appreciate this particular mission. She gave him the silent treatment and ignored him as much as possible.

Tyler stayed close all evening, though he made no attempt to carry on a conversation beyond grunting for another beer. Ever since he discovered her father’s identity coupled with the debacle with her grandmother, he eyed her with wariness in his blue eyes. Meanwhile, Lavender brimmed with nervous energy during the day and tossed and turned in her bed at night. Ten days of celibacy combined with a hot man next door was a lousy cure for insomnia. Beyond the dark circles under her eyes lurked the fear she just might be missing more than the man’s body despite how furious he made her.

Tyler didn’t goad her into an argument or make lurid remarks. Nor did he swear up a storm and fill the cuss-jar coffers. Instead, he stayed silent and brooding, not one sign of the asshole persona she’d come to expect and, in a dysfunctional way, appreciate. Except for the day he’d met her
grand
parents. He’d stepped over the line and sent her grandmother into major control mode.

Tyler emptied his beer, and signaled for another. She poured it and slid it across the counter. His blue eyes drilled into hers, physically stripping away each protective layer. She’d rather he stripped off her clothes than study her as if he knew all her secrets.

This crap needed to stop.

Putting her hands on the counter, Lavender went on offense before his odd behavior put her on defense. “Quit staring at me like that.”

“Like what? How am I staring at you?”

“You know.”

Tyler rubbed the back of his neck and stretched, as if he hadn’t a care in the world. He picked up his beer and took a sip, regarding her over the rim of his glass. “Can’t you at least get back to hating me? This silent treatment is making me crazy.”

“What makes you think I stopped hating you?”

“You didn’t?” He almost smiled for the first time since his close encounter of the controlling kind with her grandmother. He sat back and rested his large hands on his belt buckle, drawing Lavender’s gaze downward. She licked her lips as she noticed a tell-tale bulge.

“What do you think? I’m pissed as hell at you for that stunt you pulled with my grandmother.”

“But you miss the sex.” He tugged on a lock of her hair.

“Now there’s the asshole I’ve grown to know and despise.” She ran a finger across his stubbled chin and resisted the strong urge to follow the caress with her tongue.

He worked his jaw, as if considering his next words carefully. “I’m sorry. I was a real ass, even for me.”

She shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. It’s about the sex with us. Just stay out of my family’s business from now on.”

He looked down, then up again, seeming to weigh his options. “Fine. Just answer one question. What did your dad do that was so bad to make you hate him so much?” Tyler tensed, as if bracing himself for either an ass-chewing or the cold shoulder.

Lavender looked up from the wine bottle she was uncorking. Her face hardened into an emotionless mask which slipped into place every time her father was mentioned. “He was never there.”

“You people sure hold a grudge for a long time.”

“So you’re taking his side.” It just figured. Jocks stuck together.

Tyler held up his hand. “Hell, no, just seems weird to me to harbor a grudge for this long. Hell, even I forgive and move on, and I’m an—”

“—Asshole. I know. Listen Harris, my grandfather is the only father I have. He’s been there for me, while my real father hasn’t. Brian Gerloch is not welcome in my life.”

“Is that why you changed your last name?”

“Yes.”

Tyler frowned at her. Lavender twisted the ring on her finger. Hard. Any harder and she’d twist her finger off. He watched in fascination as it spun even faster on her hand. He looked up, and she realized she’d been caught. She slipped her hands behind her back and out of his line of sight. A knowing smile crooked the corner of his mouth.

“You do that when you’re upset. Really upset. At the risk of getting my head ripped off, tell me why you never call your grandfather ‘Dad’ if he’s the only father you have.” He raised one cocky eyebrow in a silent challenge, looking more like his asshole self.