Forsaken Dreams (44 page)

Anger tightened her jaw. “And what is that, Mr. Graves? Yourself?”

“No madam.” He faced the land again, and a smile coiled his lips. “In power. And the pursuit of that power.”

“As you have told me.” She followed his gaze to the shore, her emotions running the gambit from fear to anger to sorrow for the man.

“There is something here in Brazil I had not anticipated.” The snake ring on his finger winked at her in the sunlight.

From the intense longing in his eyes, Eliza sensed his anticipation wasn’t sparked by the same thing that had delighted her—the land’s lush beauty.

“Can’t you feel it?” He gestured toward the land. “An energy, a preeminent, living force that supersedes our limited understanding.”

She glanced at the man curiously before he went on.

“I had thought to have my revenge, but I see now that if I had, I would have missed out.”

Now, she knew he’d gone mad. Eliza’s breath caught in her throat. The man’s words had spilled numbly, almost unbidden from his twisted mind. “Revenge, sir? On us?” She remembered that the South’s seceding from the Union had ruined his political aspirations.

He flinched and fingered his black goatee. “What does it matter now?”

She thought of all the disasters that had befallen them on their journey. Could Mr. Graves have been responsible somehow? “What are you saying, sir? That you are the cause of our troubles?”

“Me?” An incredulous brow rose above dark eyes burning with victorious glee. “How could
I
have caused those things? I’m simply a man.”

Indeed. She eyed him. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because out of all the simpletons on board, I thought you might understand. You have a rare sense about you, Eliza. You are familiar with rebellion. And you’ve seen something, haven’t you?” He leaned toward her. “I thought perhaps to find a kindred spirit.”

Familiar with rebellion?
Yet it was his last words that caused the vision of Stanton standing on the beach to reappear in her mind. But that had just been a figment of her troubled imagination, hadn’t it? “Mr. Graves, if your intent is to ruin our colony, then, sir, I am most definitely not a kindred spirit.”

“Ah.” He glanced over his shoulder at Blake. “Your recent engagement has no doubt settled your alliances.”

“My alliances have always been with the colony. Where are yours, Mr. Graves?”

“Where they should be, madam. Where they should be.” He gave her a malignant smile, tipped his hat, and strolled away.

And the feeling of uneasiness left with him. Eliza drew a deep breath. She would have to inform Blake of her odd conversation with Graves. If he was responsible for any of the disasters that had plagued their journey and if he had any nefarious plans for the future of the colony, Blake should know so he could stop him.

She glanced behind her, noting that she was finally alone. Now was the perfect time to do what she’d set her mind to do. Slipping her hand into the pocket of her gown, she pulled out the watch Stanton had given her. The initials
FEW
sparkled in the sunlight in beautiful scripted letters. Though the watch appeared a bit masculine for a lady, it was the only thing Stanton had ever given her that had a personal touch. He hadn’t even picked out the wedding ring he’d placed on her finger, but rather it was an heirloom that had been passed down through his family. One she’d been forced to return after Stanton’s death. Why she’d kept the watch, she didn’t know. Perhaps, deep in her heart, she mourned the loss of her first love, or what she had thought was love. Perhaps it gave her comfort that Stanton might have truly loved her after all. She sighed and flipped it over, allowing the chain to dangle over the churning waters. She’d retrieved it from her luggage for one purpose. To toss it into the sea. For she wanted no reminders of her past when she married Blake.

James slid beside her and gripped the railing. Hair the color of wheat tossed behind him as his bronze eyes found hers. “Congratulations, Eliza.”

“Thank you, James. I am very happy.” Perhaps she should tell the doctor what Mr. Graves had said. But no. It was too happy a day to ruin anyone’s mood. Even hers. She would put all thoughts of the odd man out of her mind for now.

“God’s plans always work out for the best.” He slapped the moist railing and lifted his chin to the sun.

“I see that now.” She paused and flattened her lips. “It’s amazing to see God turn my blunder into a blessing.”

“I’m sure most of us have secrets we’d prefer to keep hidden.” The way he said the words and the glimmer of shame in his eyes made Eliza wonder just what nefarious secrets an honorable man like the doctor could possibly have.

“I have no excuse for what I did save my stupidity and rebellion.” Eliza gazed at the Brazilian coast speeding by in a kaleidoscope of vibrant greens and creamy beaches. “I always jump into things without thinking, without consulting God. Even if I do consult Him, I still do as I please.”

“A common human frailty. Submission is no easy feat for any of us.” He snapped hair from his face. “But I’ve discovered it is well worth it, for God always knows what’s best for us.” He chuckled. “How arrogant we are to assume we know better than our Creator. His ways are perfect while ours are so flawed.”

“I’m starting to see that. I could have saved myself much pain if I’d only obeyed.”

The air suddenly stiffened as if an invisible wall rose between them. When Eliza looked at James, she found him staring at the pocket watch in her hand.

“You’ve gone pale, James. What is it?” She laid a hand on his arm.

“Where did you get that watch?” His voice sounded hollow.

Eliza held it up. “From my husband. It was the last thing he gave me.”

James’s breath gusted from his chest as his dazed look never left the watch. “Your husband? What was his rank again?”

“Brigadier general.”

“Do you know if he fought at Antietam?”

She stared at him, her mind spinning with his questions. “I believe so, yes. He was killed only a few months later.”

“And when did he give you the watch?”

“You’re scaring me. What is this about?”

“Answer the question, please.” She’d never seen him so serious.

“I received it in the mail a week before we received news of his death.”

“May I?” He held out his palm, and she slid it onto his hand. “These initials. They are yours?”

“Yes. Flora Eliza Watts.”

A cloud covered the sun. James lowered his head.

“What is it, James?”

He fisted the watch until his knuckles turned white. “I met your husband on the battlefield.”

“You did? Pray tell, where?”

“Antietam.”

James finally faced her, and what she saw in his eyes sent the blood retreating from her heart. She swallowed the burst of angst threatening to destroy her joy.

“After the battle, we suffered major losses. Over ten thousand wounded—so many we couldn’t count. I went out on the field to assess the injured before we transported them back to the hospital. Body parts and organs were strewn over the field. But it’s the screaming I’ll never forget.”

Eliza’s eyes misted at his pain, even as she feared what he would say next.

“Union soldiers canvassed the dead, stripping them of their effects.”

Nausea bubbled in her stomach.

“I approached a young boy no more than seventeen. He had a leg wound. Not fatal from the looks of it. A Yankee soldier, a brigadier general, appeared out of nowhere. I noticed him because it was rare to see a man of his rank combing the field after a battle. He never glanced my way but instead knelt by the lad and yanked on a chain around the boy’s neck. At the end of it hung a pocket watch.”

Eliza felt the blood drain from her face. “You think he was my Stanton?”

“Let me finish.” The lines on the doctor’s face dipped in sorrow. “The boy gripped the Yankee officer’s arm and shook his head, pleading with him not to take it. Instead, the man pulled out his sword and thrust it in the boy’s heart then yanked the watch from his neck. Afterward, he stared at his new trinket for a minute, smiled, and stuffed it in his pocket.”

Eliza’s legs turned to mush, and she grabbed the railing. James took her elbow to steady her. “How can you be sure it was Stanton?” she asked.

“This is the watch he took.” James opened his palm. “I’m sure of it. I’d recognize this silver etching anywhere. Besides, I saw the initials. See how big the letters are and the way they glitter in the sun? It was a bright afternoon that day.”

A sour, putrid taste filled her mouth. Eliza knew Stanton had been cruel, she just didn’t know how much of a monster he truly was. She pressed a hand to her belly, forcing her breakfast to remain. “So, he didn’t have it engraved just for me. He murdered a boy for it and was pleased when the initials matched mine.” And all this time, she’d been carrying it around, admiring it, dreaming that Stanton had harbored a modicum of love for her.

“But that’s not the worst of it.”

The doctor’s tone sent Eliza’s heart into her throat.

“The watch was an heirloom passed down through the military men in the boy’s family as a good luck charm.”

“How do you know this?”

“Because that boy was Jeremy Wallace, Blake’s little brother.”

C
HAPTER
33

A
s the
New Hope
drifted to a halt and the anchor was cast, Blake sought out Eliza through the crowd amassing on deck. He’d been so busy with his duties, he hadn’t been able to speak to her all day. During the one break he’d had, she had gone below, no doubt to rest in her cabin. Now, spotting her at the railing, he shoved through the mob, pleased to hear the exclamations of excitement at the sight of their new home. It was beautiful indeed.

But even more beautiful was the sight of Eliza, her hair springing from her pins in the breeze and tumbling down her back over her small waist. He slid beside her and covered her hand with his.

“It’s exquisite, Blake.” Her eyes remained locked on the coast, just twenty yards from the brig. Water the color of aquamarine spread fans of ivory filigree on golden beaches that stretched for miles in either direction. A lush tropical jungle in every shade of green fringed the beach and grew taller as it receded on hills that ended in distant mountains capped with creamy clouds. To their left, a wide river reached emerald fingers laced in foam toward the sea.

Blake swallowed. “It is, isn’t it? I can’t believe we are finally here.” He drew her hand to his lips for a kiss then ran a finger over her cheek.

Still Eliza would not look his way.

Captain Barclay spit a string of orders to the crew to lower boats, open hatches, and prepare the blocks and tackles to hoist the cargo above deck. Passengers scrambled to get out of the way and go below for their things.

Still Eliza did not move.

“Are you all right?” Blake finally asked. He felt a quiver run through her, and he settled his arm over her shoulder drawing her near. “Something has frightened you.”

“Me?” She looked up at him then, her eyes red and puffy. “Frightened of a new adventure?” Her laugh faltered on her lips.

Taking her shoulders, Blake turned her to face him. “You’ve been crying. Did someone hurt you? Say something to you?”

She lowered her chin. “No. Nothing like that.”

“Then what?”

She brought her gaze back to his, her eyes flitting across his face, as if too frightened to land. Pain or perhaps sorrow weighed heavy on her features. Then she smiled, and her body seemed to relax. “I suppose I’m far too excited about our new life, that’s all. So much has happened.”

“You aren’t having second thoughts about us, are you?”

She caressed his jaw. “Never”

He drew her close and kissed her forehead, his fears abandoning him. Together, they faced the shore. “James has agreed to wed us on that very beach tomorrow.”

“He has?” She flinched as if this news surprised her, but then uttered a sigh that seemed to relieve her of some burden. “I can hardly believe it, Blake. I’m so happy. I pray nothing will ever separate us.” A shadow rolled across her face as she gazed up at him. “Tell me nothing will ever separate us.”

Confused, Blake brushed a lock of hair from her forehead. “What could ever do that?”

A breeze blew in from the shore, ripe with the sweet smell of life, tropical flowers, and hope. Blake smiled and stared into the jungle that would soon become their new home. Something shifted in the greenery. A shadow sped through the trees then disappeared. “What was that?”

“What?” Eliza followed his gaze.

“I thought I saw someone in the trees … a shadow.” Blake rubbed his eyes, but when he looked again, nothing but oversized vines and palm fronds met his gaze.

Eliza stared at the spot for a moment, seemingly deep in thought, but then she gave him a placating smile. “You are no doubt tired. As we all are.” She leaned her head on his shoulder. “Besides, this place is far too beautiful to harbor anything dangerous.”

Eliza couldn’t tell him. She simply couldn’t. She knew Blake too well. It had taken him weeks, months, to forgive her for marrying a Yankee. He would never forgive her when he discovered that Yankee had murdered his brother. And for a pocket watch, no less.