Forgotten Fears (19 page)

Her legs felt weak; her stomach vaulted and rolled. Fearing she was about to throw up, Cindy made her way towards the back of the plane and the galley. She had to force herself not to run. The last thing she needed right now was a cabin full of uneasy passengers. Once safely behind the curtain and out of view, she leaned on the stainless steel counter, head down as she tried to compose herself. The feeling was similar to vertigo, a dizzy, disorientating sense of fear. fearing she was about to collapse, she sat in one of the seats reserved for the crew, staring at the beige carpet between her feet and trying to pull herself together. She wasn’t alone for long, as the Sylvia appeared, sweeping the divider curtain aside.

“I saw you come down here lookin’ close to tears, Hon. What’s wrong? What happened?”

Cindy couldn’t answer. It was as if staring into those black eyes had drained the life and energy from her.

“That man,” was all she could manage to say, her voice fading away to a whisper.

Frowning, Sylvia glanced around the small galley area. “What man? Honey, you’re not making sense.”

“The man in 6A.” Was all she could force out before another wave of nausea swept over her. She was aware that she probably sounded crazy, and was thankful that it was Sylvia who was with her and not one of the junior crew members.

“6A? What did he do, do we need to call security?”

Cindy shook her head. “He didn’t do anything, He’s just….” She slumped back in the seat, unable to finish the thought. She started to cry, unsure why and hating how weak she must look.

The curtain swept aside again as David, one of the new trainee cabin crew strode confidently towards them.

“Okay, everything’s ready to go,” He started with a grin, then seeing the mess Cindy was in, grew serious.  “Hey, what’s going on?”

Sylvia looked at David, his awkward, gangly frame hovering in the doorway.

“Its okay, David, honey, Cindy just had a funny turn.”

He nodded, his green eyes drifting from Sylvia to Cindy and back again. “Look, sorry to disturb, but we’re ready to lock down. Everyone is on board and we’re good to go.” He shifted his weight, desperate to be let off the hook so he could leave.

Sylvia nodded, taking over the role that was usually Cindy’s without drama. “David, can you do me a favour?”

He nodded, folding his arms across his wiry frame.   “Sure, what do you need?”

Trying to sound casual as possible, Sylvia continued. “Take a walk up towards the front, and look at the passenger in 6A, but be subtle, don’t go gawping at him or anything.”

“Why, what’s wrong, is there a problem?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, just please go up there and take a look, then come straight back here. And tell me what you see.”

“What am I looking for?”

“Just go take a look then come back, okay?

He nodded, “whatever you say, I’m just saying it would help to know what I’m looking for, though.”

“You’re not looking for anything in particular. Just remember to be discreet.”

He nodded and left, leaving the two women alone. Sylvia stood and made coffee, her friend content to remain wordless and stare at the carpet.

“So what happened?” Sylvia asked as she prepared the drinks.

“That man in 6A...there’s something wrong with him.”

Sylvia handed Cindy the coffee, then sat opposite and cradled her own cup as she looked at her friend.

“What in the lord’s name spooked you, honey?” she said, placing a reassuring hand on her friend’s leg.

“ I—I’m not really sure,” was the answer she settled on, unsure if that made her sound even more unhinged than if she had told Sylvia what she had seen.

“You know,” Sylvia was choosing her words carefully. “Maybe you could do with a break, a little time off might do you the world of good, with the divorce and all, you haven’t really stopped.”

“I’m fine. I’m not crazy.” She knew she had answered a little too quickly, with a voice a little too high pitched, and had inadvertently made herself sound exactly that.

Sylvia was about to respond when David returned through the curtain.  “All looks fine to me up there.”

“The man in 6A?”  Cindy said, feeling the eyes of her friend on her.

David nodded “Yeah, the European-looking dude, right?”

“Yes, that’s him,” she said, almost adding on

The one with the black eyes, you can’t miss him.

Frowning, David shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Well, he was sleeping, but as far as I can tell, he looked normal.”

Sylvia nodded, flashing her friend a quick, concerned glance.

“He’s right here on the manifest,” he added, waving the clipboard at Cindy. She took it from him and put a name to the horrific face she had seen.

Monde.

No last name. Not a Peter, or a James or any other ordinary name. Just that one word.

Monde.

She wondered what it meant, what country he came from, but her mind was already filled with too many questions that were in need of an answer, so she set the manifest aside. Hot tears welled up, which she struggled to fight off.

“Thanks, David, go ahead and close the doors,” Sylvia said, keeping a close eye on Cindy.

David nodded and then began to wring his hands, reluctant to move.

Sylvia looked him in the eye, her own heart now racing a little faster than she would have liked. “Was there something else?”

He locked eyes with her, too proud to show fear, although it bubbled close enough to the surface to make it impossible to hide. “Well,” he said quietly, “Whilst I was up there, the people in 6B and 6C, just...left.”

Sylvia’s heart skipped a beat. Cindy’s almost leapt out of her chest.

Careful to keep a steady voice, Sylvia spoke quietly. “What do you mean they left?”

David’s cheeks flushed, and he looked at his feet. “Just that, they just gathered up their bags, and walked off the plane without a word.”

Troubled, Sylvia tried to keep calm, despite the sense of unease which was growing by the second.

“They didn’t say anything?”

David shook his head. “Not a word, but they did both have the same expression on their face.”

“What do you mean?” Sylvia asked, not really sure if she wanted to know the answer.

“Well,” David said, as he pointed at Cindy. “They both looked like that.”  He shifted his weight, and his cheeks flushed with colour. “To be honest, it kinda freaked me out.”

Sylvia placed a hand on his shoulder.  “Look, I appreciate you may be a little uneasy, but I need you to concentrate and do your job.”

For a moment, she thought he might refuse, and she couldn’t blame him. She trained her cool gaze on the agitated flight attendant. “Can I trust you to do your job?”

“Yes, of course, I’m sorry.”

Sylvia smiled, one of those natural, instantly reassuring gestures which she seemed to be able to muster so effortlessly. “No need to apologize.”

He offered her a small smile, which did little to hide his uncertainty. “Okay, so what do you want me to do?”

Sylvia looked at Cindy, who was watching the conversation unfold. Her face was a pale, red-eyed parody of her usual self. Sylvia turned back towards David, knowing that her next decision would either prove to be completely right, or wrong. No middle ground.

“Lock the doors. Tell the captain we’re ready for take-off.” She said, doing all she could to sound decisive.

She thought she saw a flash of something in his face, perhaps anger, more likely fear.

“Of course, right away.” he mumbled, then left, sweeping through the curtain towards the front of the plane.

Sylvia turned back to Cindy. “You get yourself strapped in. I’ll take care of the crew.”

Cindy looked at her friend, her eyes haunted and devoid of hope. “Everyone on this plane is going to die,” She said simply. Her matter of fact tone raising goose bumps on Sylvia’s skin.

Cindy fastened her seatbelt then turned her head, looking out of the small window at the runway as the pneumatic cabin doors locked into place, locking them into whatever fate awaited them.

II

The smooth take off did little to alleviate Cindy’s terror. She sat with her chin resting on her hand, trying to ignore the eyes of the crew as they bored into her. Word it seemed had travelled quickly.  As she watched the ground drift further and further away she was still filled with an unshakeable sense of dread. It was as if the artificial atmosphere in the cabin was heavier than normal and seemed to push her into her seat. She glanced at Sylvia, hoping to find reassurance, but instead saw that she too was afraid, even if she was doing a better job of hiding it. Glancing out of the window, her mind drifted to her life, and she wondered absently if she had wasted it. Up to that morning, she had never really appreciated the paper thin line between life and death, how fine a balance it truly was. Now, though, it felt right to think about such things. It made sense to consider the fragility of their existence. Closing her eyes, she prayed it would be quick, visualizing the headlines in the newspapers reporting on the crash that she was absolutely sure would happen. She wondered how it would be, those final minutes as the plane plunged towards the earth at five hundred miles an hour, the high pitched whistle the only accompaniment to their screams. She was fired back to the present by the chime of the seatbelt removal signal, which signalled that they had reached their cruising altitude of thirty-two thousand feet. Blinking, she glanced over at the crew, who were staring at her as if she were about to sprout a second head or burst into song.

“Okay guys, let’s get to work,” She said as confidently as she could, trying to show them she was okay.

Nobody moved. Instead, they looked blankly back at her, waiting for an explanation as to her sudden meltdown.

“Look, I’ve been working a lot of hours lately, and things just got to me, but if we can just pull together and get through this flight as normal, I’d appreciate it.” Even as she said the words, she hated herself for the ease that the lies slid from her tongue. She imagined she sounded just like condescending Captain Henshaw.

She waited. They looked back, their expressions telling her they hadn’t believed a word she had said, and why should they? It was, after all, bullshit.

“Okay everyone,” Sylvia said as she stood.  “We’re here to work, not enjoy the ride. Let’s get out there and do what we are paid to do.”

This time, there was no delay.  The crew stood almost as one, busying themselves with their various jobs. Sylvia stood, hands on hips and making sure that everything was in control.

One of the crew, a young girl named Carol, unclipped a stainless steel trolley laden with drinks and snacks.  She had a natural beauty to her and even without makeup, her features were striking. Her green eyes were without fear, and as it was her first day on the job, she was determined to take whatever was thrown at her in stride.

Sylvia put a hand on the girl’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.  “Just relax, smile, and ask the passengers if they want a drink. You’ve trained for this. You will be fine. See me if you have any problems, okay hon?”

Carol nodded, chewing her bottom lip as she positioned the trolley.

“They may get a little rowdy, but that’s normal. Don’t let it get to you,” Sylvia added, straightening a few of the bottles that had been dislodged.

Carol fidgeted but didn’t move.

“What’s wrong?” Sylvia asked.

“Well,” Carol said, choosing her words carefully, “it’s not the rowdiness that bothers me... it’s the lack of it.”

“What do you mean, Hon?”

“Just take a look.”

Frowning, Sylvia ducked her head through the curtain looked down the length of the plane. Instead of the usual chatter and excited conversation, there was deathly silence. The atmosphere within the aircraft was oppressive and foreboding. Without realizing, Sylvia reached for the silver crucifix which she wore around her neck and began to rub it between her finger and thumb.

“Carol honey, change of plan. You stay back here and start getting the breakfast trays ready. I’ll serve the drinks today.”

Carol frowned, Sylvia detecting a hint of anger as her cheeks flushed. “I wasn’t trying to get out of it, I was just making a point. All due respect, but whatever else people are thinking, I’m not scared.”

“I know honey, it’s just...there’s a weird atmosphere out there and it’s not fair on you, it being your first day and all.”

“I can handle it,” She replied, looking past Sylvia towards Cindy.

“I’m sure you can. But for now, I want to do this myself.”

“I can do my job,” Carol snapped, her cheeks flushing. “I don’t see the point in bringing me out here if you won’t even let me-”

“That’s enough,” Sylvia cut in, steering Carol away from the dividing curtain.

“I know you’re capable, and you will get a chance to prove it. But right now, I’m taking this first trolley service. You can do the next one, okay?”

“But….” Carol trailed off and broke eye contact as Sylvia took control of the trolley.