Forgive Me (9 page)

Eva looked up at him in shocked
surprise.

He smiled at her expression. ‘I have
no idea now how much money that will be – she may have been drawing it out as fast as it
went in – but we’ll see in a few days. Meanwhile, it would be prudent to say
nothing of this to anyone.’

‘I won’t, Mr Bailey,’ she
said. ‘I’m planning to leave home. In fact I am going to see a place after I
leave here. I can’t stay at the house any longer, my stepfather is making me feel
very unwelcome.’

‘I’m so sorry to hear
that,’ Bailey said, looking at her with concern. ‘I’m afraid suicide
always has far-reaching effects on families. Sometimes people act irrationally because
they feel unable to grieve in the way they would if the loved one had died of natural
causes.’

‘I think Andrew ought to remember that
I am grieving too.’

‘Quite so. All things considered, I
think moving out is the best thing for you. But you do understand that you won’t
get either the property or the money immediately?’

‘Of course, I didn’t come here
expecting that.’ She felt embarrassed now that he would think it was only the
money she cared about. ‘I came just to find out the legal position
and get some advice from you. I’m told it has to go through probate, and that
can take months.’

‘Well, not in your case, Miss
Patterson. You see, your mother took the precaution of putting the property in trust for
you until you are twenty-one, which I understand is very soon. She also made sure any
money in the building society account was payable to you on her death. But there are
still papers to be drawn up and signed.’

She nodded, wanting to know how long it
would take, but afraid to ask.

‘I will make a start on that
tomorrow,’ he said. He pushed his glasses further up his nose and looked at her
gravely. ‘I see it as my duty to point out why your mother made these
arrangements. She came to me initially because she wanted to make sure you had financial
security which wasn’t dependent on her husband. She had concerns that if she had
other children you might not all be treated equally. As it turned out, she was very
astute, and she has made it possible for you to make a new start and to be independent.
So you must use it wisely.’

He paused, looking at Eva over his
glasses.

‘Try to forgive your mother for not
telling you the truth about your birth. Such things become more and more difficult the
older a child becomes. And however hurt and let down you feel about it, and about her
taking her own life, this legacy is proof of her love for you. She took special care and
planned ahead for you.’

Mr Bailey’s words were like soothing
ointment on a sore place. Eva’s eyes filled up with emotional tears, and for the
first time since her mother’s death she felt comforted.

‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘I
will remember that.’

‘Good.’ He smiled at her.
‘No fast cars, wild parties or other extravagant silliness. I have no idea how
much the
property is worth, but it is probably the only legacy you will
ever get. Remember that, if you are tempted to fritter it away. And keep your own
counsel about it. Sadly, there are a great many people in this life who will befriend
you just for a slice of your inheritance.’

Eva nodded in agreement. Olive had said much
the same thing. She got up to leave. ‘I’ll ring you in a day or two and
confirm my new address. Thank you for the advice.’

Mr Bailey got up too and took her hand in
his. ‘The clouds will roll away soon, my dear. You are young and you must look
ahead and plan for your future,’ he said. ‘I’ll be in touch with you
soon, but if you have any further questions or need any advice, just call me.’

Eva sniffed back tears as she hauled two
large bin liners stuffed with clothes and bedding out of her car. Number 44 Crail Road
didn’t look any better in the early evening sunshine than it had when she’d
viewed the room five days earlier under grey skies. But then she’d supposed few
houses were ever going to look as nice as The Beeches.

It must have been a smart address back in
Victorian times, a tree-lined avenue of big semi-detached three-storey houses, each with
a basement for the servants. But now most of the houses in the road were converted into
flats, with front gardens paved over for parking, and they all exhibited a general lack
of care.

‘It could be far worse,’ she
murmured to herself. ‘And it’s not for ever.’

As she struggled up the path between two
scrubby areas of overgrown grass, a young man came bounding down the steps from the
front door.

‘Hi! Moving in? Let me help
you,’ he said and came forward to take the two bags from her hands.

‘Tod!’ she exclaimed,
recognizing him as a temporary driver who had been taken on at Oakley and Smithson for
the Christmas rush. All the girls at work had drooled over him, as he was both charming
and handsome – mid-twenties, tall, slender with floppy fair hair and deep blue eyes. Eva
had been as guilty as everyone else of fancying him like mad. ‘Do you live here
too or are you just visiting? I’ve taken the room at the front on the ground
floor.’

He frowned as if trying to place her, then came
a warm smile of recognition. ‘Oh yes, Eva! I always remember the pretty ones.
Welcome to “The Ritz”. I’ve got one of the small hovels at the back.
How much more stuff have you got?’

‘A suitcase, a TV and a few
boxes,’ she said, blushing furiously at the compliment. ‘But I don’t
want to impose on you if you’re going somewhere.’

‘I’m only going down the
pub,’ he said. ‘And I can see you’ve been crying, so I’ll help
you in and try to make you think you’ve found paradise.’

‘I got a bit teary saying goodbye.
I’ve never been away from home before,’ she admitted, wishing she’d
checked her face before she got out of the car. ‘It all feels a bit overwhelming.
But I’ll be fine once I’ve settled in.’

It took only a few minutes to get the rest
of her belongings and dump them on the floor of her room. ‘It will soon look like
home when you’ve put all your things around,’ he said cheerfully.
‘Girls are always good at that. I think home-making is inbred.’

She had never had an opportunity to say more
than a few words to him while he was at Oakley and Smithson, but she’d heard from
the girls who went out of their way to talk to him that he made each of them feel like
they were the most interesting person in the world. Eva was desperately in need of some
kindness and sympathy and it was tempting to blurt out the reason she’d left home.
But she stopped herself; she didn’t want to frighten him away. ‘Would you
like a cup of tea?’ she said instead. ‘I’ve brought all the stuff with
me.’

‘That’s an offer I won’t
refuse. I haven’t got the nerve to invite you into my room because I left it like
a tip. What made you leave home?’

‘I just thought it was time I became
independent, and I wanted a bit more freedom.’

The landlord had called it a studio apartment,
but in reality it was just a bedsitter, with the kitchen part of the room divided off by
a breakfast bar. There was a shower in a cupboard and she would share the lavatory with
the other ground-floor tenants.

Although it looked shabby and battered it
did have all the basic equipment. And there was a new shiny kettle on the breakfast bar
which was an addition since she’d viewed the room. Eva filled it up, and as she
got out her bag of groceries she asked Tod where he was working now.

‘Care in the community,’ he
replied and pulled a face.

‘Old people and stuff like
that?’

‘Sort of. I drive the disabled or old
people to hospital for appointments, but I also do a few shifts helping out vulnerable
young people living in sheltered housing. You know the kind of thing.’

Eva didn’t really, but she nodded
anyway. ‘That’s a kind thing to do,’ she said.

He shrugged. ‘I’m just gaining
general experience. I want to be a counsellor.’

‘How interesting,’ she said.

He laughed. ‘People always say that,
then start telling me their problems.’

‘Well, I’m not going to. I
don’t have any, except how to make this place a home.’

‘Then tell me the truth about why
you’ve been crying?’

There was a good reason for the girls at
work drooling over him; aside from his lovely blue eyes and soft full mouth there was
something very sexy about him. Part of it was that he obviously came from an upper-class
background yet seemed very comfortable with and interested in ordinary people. At work
he’d always been in company navy-blue overalls, but now in a worn T-shirt and
ragged
jeans, with untidy hair as if he’d just got out of bed, he
looked even better.

‘Like I told you, just saying my
goodbyes,’ she said. ‘My younger brother didn’t want me to go. I
suppose I started to worry that I’d be lonely here.’

‘You won’t be.’ He smiled
reassuringly at her. ‘This is a quiet night in here, not a sound because
everyone’s out. But it gets quite rowdy and they are a nice bunch who all pitch in
together. You might feel like moving on somewhere quieter in a few weeks.’

The kettle boiled, she made the tea and
opened a packet of biscuits.

‘Marks and Sparks biscuits!’ he
exclaimed. ‘If it gets around that you buy those, you’ll never get a
moment’s peace.’

They chatted while they drank the tea –
about ordinary stuff like their taste in music, clubs in Cheltenham, and preferred
takeaways. He asked too about some of the people who worked in the packing department.
He said he’d enjoyed working there, as it was always a good laugh.

‘Speaking of packing,’ he said
with a laugh, ‘would you like some help with unpacking?’

She wanted him to stay but sensed he was
anxious to get to the pub. So she thanked him and said she’d rather do it
alone.

‘Well, I won’t hold you
up,’ he said, getting up off the sofa. ‘But I’m in number six, down
the passage at the back, if you need help with anything tomorrow.’

‘You’ve been marvellous, thank
you,’ she said, hardly daring to look into those blue eyes in case he sensed that
she fancied him. ‘I think I’m going to like it here.’

She watched him walk down the front garden,
admiring his graceful lope and the suggestion of muscles under the
shabby T-shirt. If he hadn’t been around, she thought she might have thrown
herself on the sofa and sobbed for hours. But she wasn’t going to do that, however
hurt and sad she felt. She must keep in mind that this was a new start, and make it work
for her.

Turning back to look at her room, she
thought that it didn’t look quite so bleak now either. It was big, very light, and
at least the walls were neutral, even if they were a bit grubby. The grey cord carpet
was worn thin in places, but she could jolly it up with a rug. She pulled out the sofa
bed and winced at how lumpy the mattress was, but she hadn’t expected it to be
anything else.

It would be fun to buy things to pretty the
room up: a few pictures, a cloth on the small table, books on the shelves. And at least
she had her own shower. Sophie had always hogged the one at home.

As she started to unpack her clothes and
hang them up in the wardrobe, she wondered what had been said after she left home this
evening. She had told Andrew she was leaving two days ago. At the time he’d seemed
indifferent, but tonight he’d been very nasty, saying things that cut her to the
quick.

He was standing at the door of the sitting
room when she came downstairs with the first two bin liners of clothes. ‘How
quickly the rats leave the sinking ship,’ he said in a sneering tone. ‘Just
like your mother. She never appreciated all I did for her either. That car, for
instance. I went to a great deal of trouble to get you that for your nineteenth
birthday.’

She was afraid he was going to take the car,
and as she didn’t know where she stood legally, she felt she must be careful with
him. But she couldn’t just ignore what he’d said; to do so would just be
spineless.

‘I’m only leaving because
you’ve made it impossible for me to stay,’ she said carefully. ‘I do
appreciate you gave me a
good childhood, and the car was a lovely
present. But it’s a shame you had to spoil all that by informing me you
weren’t my father practically the minute Mum was dead!’

‘I wouldn’t have had to if
she’d told you herself,’ he snarled.

Normally when he used that tone of voice
with her she got frightened, but she was determined not to be intimidated by him.
‘Yes, she should’ve told me. But you let yourself down by telling me in the
way you did. It was pure spite, and you know it.’

‘How dare you?’ he said, taking
a threatening step towards her. ‘I fed and clothed you for years, paid for you to
go to a good school.’

‘And I stupidly thought you did that
because you loved me,’ she said, squaring up to him. ‘How wrong could I
be?’ She flounced out to her car then, and stayed outside until he’d gone
back into the sitting room.

Andrew remained in the sitting room right up
until she came downstairs with the last box. Then he appeared in the hall again.

‘I hope you haven’t taken
anything that doesn’t belong to you,’ he said.

‘Of course I haven’t. Unless you
count the Christmas presents you gave me?’

‘If I find you’ve been in my
room and taken any of your mother’s jewellery, I’ll call the police,’
he warned her.

She couldn’t believe he’d say
such a thing. ‘Sophie’s the one who has been eyeing that up,’ she said
icily. ‘You’d better check her room if you find anything missing.’

‘Don’t think you can just walk
back in here when you get tired of fending for yourself,’ he spat at her.
‘You go, and that’s it.’

Something snapped inside her. She put down
the box and glared at him. ‘What would there be for me to come back
for?’ she asked. ‘You’ve made your feelings about me
quite plain since Mum died. Not one word of consolation, and no praise that I tried to
keep everything together.’