Forgive Me (30 page)

‘A tarot reading is right for
you,’ Dena said after a few moments. She picked up the deck of cards and handed
them to Eva. ‘Shuffle them well,’ she ordered. ‘And as you shuffle,
think hard on the questions you want answers for today.’

Eva shuffled them extremely well, continuing
to do so even when Dena looked as if she wanted to take the cards from her. She played
along with the game, silently asking who her father was, and where she should take her
search from here.

Dena held the stack of cards to her lips for
a moment or two, then cut the pile, discarding one half. She did this again and then
laid the top card down on the table, face up.

Eva had been expecting traditional tarot
pictures, but instead she was startled to see a picture of a snake. It was a beautiful
picture, the colours bright as jewels, but she instinctively knew a snake was not a good
image.

‘Betrayal, dishonesty and
guile,’ Dena intoned, placing it in the centre of the table. The next card was of
an ox, in equally vivid colours. ‘Hardworking, strength, lacking in
ambition,’ she said and placed it to the side of the snake card.

A monkey came next, which meant mischief,
speed and agility. There was an eagle, which the woman said represented the enemy. She
went on until she had nine different animal cards in a circle around the snake.

She looked hard at Eva again, then spent a
few moments staring at the cards before her.

‘The snake is at the centre of your
anxiety,’ she said. ‘You have recently experienced the betrayal, dishonesty
and guile which he represents.’

Eva hadn’t for one moment expected to
hear anything she could relate to, and for this woman to get right to the crux of what
was on her mind was astounding. But she concentrated on not showing any reaction,
maintaining what she hoped was a blank expression.

‘This card,’ said Dena, pointing
to a deer to the right of the snake, ‘represents you. The deer’s strength is
its speed, sharp ears and its ability to sense danger. You are leaning on the strength
of the ox and feel braver than is wise, especially when the monkey is creating mischief
for you.’

As she named the cards she touched them
lightly with her index finger. She had rings on each of her fingers, and her long nails
were painted blood red.

‘The horse is righteousness, or the
law. You will be put in a position where you have to choose between what is right,
knowing it will bring trouble for others, or walking away from it, for the sake of those
you hold dear. I can see from the other cards that this will be the hardest choice you
will ever have to make.

‘However, the tiger will strive to
protect you, and he is very powerful. Sadly, though, he is no match for the
eagle …’ She paused here, tapping the eagle card as if trying to work out
this card’s place in the reading. ‘I must warn you, this is someone who
seeks to hurt you. The eagle has the ability to swoop down and also soar away,
suggesting to me that you will not see what is coming.’

Eva thought this was all very dramatic and
so slick – Dena had probably used the same patter to dozens of people. While the snake
did appear to represent her mother, all the rest could be interpreted by almost anyone
to fit problems they might be having.

‘Why am I the deer card?’ she
asked. She saw herself as rather more of a tiger.

‘That position on the table is always
the one which represents the person asking for a reading. The ox is the man in your
life. You are compatible, each one’s strengths compensating for the other’s
weakness.’

‘Who is the tiger?’ Eva
asked.

Madame looked hard at her. ‘It is
normally a father or elder brother. In your case I think it is someone who has, or will
choose to, become your protector. The bluebird there,’ she said, pointing to a
very pretty card she hadn’t mentioned before, ‘represents happiness, but the
position he occupies means you are unable to recognize what, or who, it is that will
bring you happiness.’

‘And the rabbit? Eva asked.

‘A vulnerable family member,’
she said. ‘You have, or will have, someone who needs your help.’

Eva assumed that was it, that the reading
was over. But Dena took hold of Eva’s right hand and studied her palm.

‘You have more courage and
determination than others credit you with,’ she said. ‘Practical, and yet
sensitive and artistic too. You have in the past strived to fit in with other people,
often at the expense of your own needs. ‘

‘Will I marry and have
children?’ Eva couldn’t resist asking that.

‘My gift is for guiding,’ the
woman said sharply. ‘I cannot see into the future. But I can see that you have
lost someone close to you recently and you have many unanswered questions.’

‘How do I get the answers to these
questions then?’

‘They will come, but not all will be
the answers you want.’

Eva felt unable to keep up the pretence any
longer. ‘I believe you were friends with my mother, back in 1969. Flora
Foyle.’

Eva expected the woman to look surprised and
delighted.
But instead her face tightened and there was alarm in her
dark eyes. ‘I see you have inherited her guile,’ she said sharply, losing
the deep huskiness. ‘Did she send you here to try to trip me up?’

‘She couldn’t send me,
she’s dead,’ Eva said. ‘But I suppose I should’ve introduced
myself instead of getting you to do a reading for me. I’m sorry if I’ve
upset you. But you’re right, I have a great many unanswered questions, and I had
hoped you might know the answers to some of them.’

‘I tried to help Flora, but she was
cruel to me,’ the older woman said, the husky voice turning to a shrill whine. She
clutched at the front of her jacket as if distressed. ‘Please go now, there is
nothing I can tell you that will help you. Just take what I saw in the cards with
you.’

Eva got out her purse to pay, but the women
waved it away. ‘I don’t want your money. I don’t want anything from
you.’

Eva was both bewildered and embarrassed.
There was nothing to do but leave. ‘I’m staying at Brae Bank, should you
have a change of heart,’ she said. ‘My name is Eva Patterson, and I’m
truly sorry I’ve upset you. That wasn’t my intention.’

Eva went for a walk along the river, shaken
by the woman’s reaction to finding out who she was. What on earth had Flora done
to her that was so bad she couldn’t put it aside even after more than twenty
years?

The whole animal thing was so strange too;
she’d never heard of anyone else using such cards.

Was she like a deer? And was Phil her ox?
Was Sophie the family member who needed help? Was the law thing something to do with
Myles? And this tiger who was going to protect her, who was that? Patrick? But who was
the eagle, her enemy? Was that Andrew, or someone she hadn’t met yet?

She had always laughed at people who believed
the things psychics and fortune-tellers had told them. So why was she rerunning the
things Madame Dena had said through her mind, and giving them credence?

It was late afternoon when Eva returned to
the hotel. Her feet were throbbing because she’d walked so far, and she wrenched
off her trainers and socks and ran a bath.

She had gone over and over what Dena had
said during the card reading. However much she wanted to believe the woman was a
complete charlatan, she couldn’t. Fortune-tellers basically told people the stuff
they wanted to hear – that they were going to be successful, that love was around the
corner. They wouldn’t stay in business for long if they told everyone sad or
frightening things.

Was it possible that Dena was the real
thing?

Grace was wearing a very elegant black
dress when she opened the door to Eva at seven that evening, her blonde hair was pinned
up, and she had a chunky glittery bracelet on her wrist. ‘He’s been champing
at the bit, waiting for you to arrive,’ she said. ‘I hope he’s not
going to bore you rigid. I noticed he’s dug out some old photograph
albums.’

‘I like looking at old photos,’
Eva said. ‘And I’ve been looking forward to seeing him.’

Grace raised one eyebrow as if in disbelief.
‘You look lovely tonight. Shame you haven’t got someone young and handsome
to take you out.’

Eva laughed. She was wearing the turquoise
dress she’d worn the night of her twenty-first birthday, and it looked much better
now than it had then, because she was suntanned. ‘You look gorgeous too, and
I’m quite happy to stay in with someone old but interesting,’ she said.

‘I won’t tell him you said
that,’ Grace said. ‘Go on in. The
starters are on the
table and the main course is in the heated trolley. I’m off out to see a
friend.’

Gregor did look very pleased to see her. The
table in front of a big window overlooking the garden was beautifully laid with a white
cloth, blue and white polka-dot napkins, silver cutlery, crystal glasses, candles and an
arrangement of blue and white flowers.

‘The table looks lovely,’ she
said.

‘I think Grace wanted to make sure you
felt welcome. She said I was churlish yesterday.’

‘You weren’t.’

‘I was when she said she hoped I would
marry Flora. It wasn’t meant to come out the way it did.’

‘I think I’ve learned enough
about Flora in the past few weeks to realize she was no saint,’ Eva said lightly.
‘You can tell me the truth about her, Gregor. That
is
what I
want.’

‘What did Dena the crackpot tell
you?’ he asked as he wheeled his chair over to a sideboard and poured them both a
glass of wine. ‘Tell me about that first, it will get me in the mood.’

Eva sat down on the sofa with her drink and
launched into telling him about it.

He was a very good listener, alert, asking
the odd question here and there, and clearly taking it all in.

‘She’s spooked you?’ he
asked, as she rounded it off with how Dena had told her to leave. ‘I’m not
exactly surprised, she’s an odd fish. Many people are convinced she really does
have “powers”.’

Eva smiled at the way he made the inverted
commas with two fingers. ‘Yes, she did spook me. What on earth did Flora do to
her?’

‘She accused her very publicly of
trying to take over her life, claimed that she was a latent lesbian and that she used
her supposed “powers” to hide the fact she was a
talentless blood-sucking leech.’

Eva’s mouth fell open with shock.
‘She actually said all that?’

‘Yes, exactly that. It was at a
Christmas party thrown by some friends of mine. At least twenty people witnessed it. I
was appalled! We all were. Dena might be weird, but she didn’t warrant that kind
of abuse. Dena ran out crying, and I told Flora to leave too. She said some horrible
things to me and then stomped off. That was the main reason why I went away for
Hogmanay. I realized that she had no feelings for me, and I wasn’t going to hang
around and be humiliated in the way she’d humiliated Dena.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Eva said.
‘I can’t imagine her being like that. She always seemed more of a doormat
than a firebrand.’

‘Maybe Dena’s spells worked
then,’ he said.

‘Spells?’

Gregor chuckled. ‘When I got back
weeks later to find Flora had left Pitlochry, Dena was in the pub one night, pissed as a
newt. She said she’d got even. She claimed she’d used her powers to make
Flora suffer.’

‘After the way she was with me today,
I can almost believe that of her.’ Eva smiled. ‘Have you seen that room of
hers? I half expected the Forty Thieves to jump out from behind the draped
walls.’

‘I have heard,’ he said, pulling
a face. ‘But the tourists love it. She must be making a small fortune – though
what she spends it on is a mystery. She lives in the room behind her office, rarely goes
out and she doesn’t even have a car.’

‘Maybe she sponsors a coven of
witches?’ Eva giggled.

Gregor grinned. ‘Let’s have
dinner now and talk about something less spooky. Grace is a fantastic cook, and I know
she went to a lot of trouble because of you. It’s her special
goulash. She only makes it for people she likes, so I don’t get it
much.’

Gregor was such good company. Eva forgot he
was in a wheelchair and middle-aged, because he was witty and interesting – and he
didn’t talk down to her either. He talked about climbing, and how as a young man
he’d been in a search-and-rescue team on the mountains. He showed absolutely no
bitterness about his accident, but admitted he’d been careless.

‘The only thing that makes me mad is
people feeling sorry for me,’ he said. ‘Sometimes people talk to me as if
I’m an imbecile because I’m in a wheelchair. I had a good run for my money,
I climbed mountains all over the world, saw things most people only ever dream of. All
that is still in my head, no one can take it away. Isn’t it better to be sitting
in a wheelchair looking back on a life that was full of adventure, colour and
mind-blowing sights, than to be able-bodied but looking back at a dull life, regretting
that you never took a chance?’

‘Yes, I suppose it is,’ she
said.

Both the starter of prawns marinated in
garlic, chilli and coriander and the goulash were marvellous, and as they ate Eva
confided her two ideas – one to open a guest house, and the other to become an interior
designer. ‘The idea of having a guest house is only a few days old,’ she
admitted. ‘I’m probably just being silly.’

He asked her how she thought she could
finance buying a guest house, and so she explained about the studio Flora had left to
her. Now that the horror of her first night there was well in the past, she could tell
the story and make it funny. He laughed with her, but then began to ask questions about
why she went there in the middle of the night. Before she knew it, she was telling him
the whole story – about Flora’s death, and Andrew telling her he wasn’t her
father.

‘Oh my goodness, Eva!’ he
exclaimed. ‘And to think I took you for a girl who had never had a moment of
insecurity or unhappiness in your whole short life. How wrong could I be?’