Forever With You (Silver State Series) (35 page)

Claudia looks about to say something, but suddenly we’re interrupted by a whoosh of air as someone else pushes the door open.

“Tawny?” says a male’s voice. 
Kyle
.  My heart starts pounding again in double time.  It’s funny, actually – even though what Aiden did was unforgivable on so many levels, it nearly pales in comparison to the hurt I felt when I realized Kyle set me up to walk in on his girlfriend, whether it was intentional or not.

“She’s not ready to come out yet, and you’re not allowed in here!” snaps Bridgette, who’s still hovering over me with her hand on my arm.

“I’m not coming in,” he calls back.  “I just need to say I’m sorry.  Do you hear me, Tawny?  I’m
so sorry
.  I totally forgot Macary would be there when I gave you my room key.  There’s nothing going on between us, okay?  I swear it – I’ve been sleeping on the couch.”

I stand perfectly still as I allow his words to sink in. 
Nothing going on between us
.  I suck in another shaky breath as I look back over my shoulder at the door that’s standing slightly ajar; since it opens toward the lounge area rather than the bathroom, I can’t see his face from here. 
Do I dare feel hopeful
?

The two girls’ eyes are on me; I clear my throat and push off the counter, pulling myself up to my full height. 
Time to stop hiding in the bathroom
.  I walk past them as if I’m in a trance; when I pull the door the rest of the way open, Kyle almost falls into the room.  Thankfully he catches himself on one foot and rights himself before he face plants.

For a moment I’m mesmerized by the sight of him shirtless – I’d been so hell-bent on getting back to the hotel earlier I’d barely paid him any notice when he whipped off his shirt to give it to me. 
My God,
he’s even more ridiculously attractive than he was the last time I saw him like this – certainly more muscled in his pecs, lats, delts and abs, not to mention his biceps and triceps.  Plus, he’s now sporting an even darker tan, no doubt compliments of the hot Mexican sun.

He’s staring straight into my eyes, his forehead creased with concern as he wordlessly entreats me to believe him – and as I study his light brown eyes, I realize I do.

“That girl isn’t your girlfriend?” I ask.

“No,” he says ardently.  “She’s just a friend…she’s
always
been just a friend.”  His shoulders fall as he exhales, assuming a broken stance similar to the one I affected earlier.  “I just wanted you to have someplace safe to go, and I made everything even worse,” he says softly.  He reaches his arms out, watching my face as he touches my shoulders, gauging my reaction.  When I don’t flinch away, he slowly draws me into his chest and wraps his arms around me so tightly I fear I’ll be unable to breathe.  I unwind in his arms and turn my head to lay the side of my face against his shoulder while squeezing him back.

When my phone rings I think it scares both of us half to death.  I step away and pull out my phone; it’s Rhiannon calling me back finally.  When I answer she immediately starts talking, explaining how she ended up having to call the airline.  I cut her off mid-sentence.  “Hey, sis?  I’m gonna have to call you back.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’ll call you back.  Thanks for doing all that…just don’t making anything final yet, okay?  I promise I’ll call you in a just a few.”

“Are you sure, Tawny?”

“I’m sure.  Talk soon.”  I press the End button, feeling a pang of guilt as I lift Kyle’s shirt to slide my phone back in the pocket of my skirt.

“Come upstairs with me,” Kyle whispers.  As an afterthought he adds, “It’ll just be you and me.”

I take a deep breath and nod.  Suddenly remembering we have an audience, I look back at Bridgette and Claudia, who are regarding us curiously.  “Thanks for checking on me,” I say.  “It was nice meeting you.”

When I look back at Kyle, he’s gazing down at me.  I give him a slight nod, and he intertwines our fingers and leads me out the door, ignoring the questioning looks of the other people milling around the lobby.

Kyle – 11:15 PM

I
approach my hotel room with some trepidation – I told Macary to get out, but will she have done as I asked?  I hold my breath as I use the key I’d given Tawny earlier to open the door, then let it out as I push the door open to find an empty room.  I don’t let go of Tawny’s hand until we’re safely inside with the door shut.

As soon as the latch clicks, I turn her around to face me.  “Are you hurt?” I ask her, my eyes traveling along all the bare skin I can see in search of cuts or bruises.

“No, I’m not hurt,” she replies. 

I gather her in my arms again briefly out of relief, then pull back to kiss her forehead.  “Please tell me that’s never happened before.”

Her eyes widen.  “No, never,” she assures me.  “This was…definitely a first.”

I nod, feeling only slightly better.  As I curl one arm around her shoulders and pull her up against me, my mind speeds forward. 
What if she goes back to him?  What if she forgives him for this, his first offense, and gives him the chance to do it again?  And what if next time no one is there to stop him? 
I shudder at the thought, and Tawny lifts her face up to look at me, her eyebrows scrunched together.  I take a deep breath, knowing I need her to take my next words to heart, to understand how deeply I mean them.

“I know he was drunk – but you do realize that’s not an excuse, right?  It’s not okay – it’s
never
okay – for him to touch you like that when you don’t want him to.”

She presses her lips together as she nods.  “I know, Kyle.  And thank you…for being there.  I’m afraid to think about what might’ve happened if you hadn’t been.”

I stare at her, wishing I could say so many things but knowing I can’t –
Leave him.  He doesn’t deserve you.  He isn’t good enough.  Don’t let him hurt you again.  Don’t given him a second chance.  Tell me it’s over… Choose me instead
.

Finally she sighs and casts her eyes down at the floor.  “I’m not going back to him, okay?” she mumbles.  “So you don’t have to worry about that.”

I squeeze my eyes shut and breathe out in silent praise of her decision.  It isn’t
everything
I was hoping to hear from her, but for tonight it will have to do.

Chapter 31 – Girls’ Day

Thursday, March 23

Kyle – 10:30 AM

I
’ve been awake for about an hour, but Tawny is still asleep next to me.  She dozed off pretty quickly after she called her sister last night, clearly exhausted from the physical and emotional stresses of the preceding few hours. 

At first she kept to her own side of the bed, curled up in fetal position, an impenetrable ball.  I wanted so badly to hold her, but I understood and respected her need for distance.  That’s why I was pleasantly shocked when, in the middle of the night, I felt her nuzzling up to me.  She’d laid her head against my chest and thrown her arm across my stomach, then hiked one leg up over mine.  I could tell from her incoherent mutterings she was still asleep, so at first I’d been afraid to move, terrified of waking her.  After some immeasurable amount of time, however, I’d relaxed and slowly moved my arm around behind her head to draw her up closer against me.  She’d responded in kind, snuggling nearer.  The faint fragrance of her perfume was intoxicating, as was the feel of her smooth bare legs against me; she’d fallen asleep in only my t-shirt and a pair of panties. 

As we lie here it’s like we’re back in my bed in Reno and the clock has been turned back six months.  It makes me feel happier and more content than I have since that time, but I can’t help feeling equally plagued by a sadness for the way things devolved.  I’m still not sure whether it was my fault for not making my feelings known, or whether we would’ve drifted apart regardless due to lack of interest on Tawny’s part.

I gaze down at her in reverence; her skin is more bronzed than it was the last time I held her like this, and there’s a smattering of freckles across her cheekbones and the bridge of her nose that makes her even prettier.  Her hair, splayed out across her pillow and my chest, catches red in the sunlight that streams in through the sliding doors leading out to the veranda.  As I look at her I think back to last night, and my skin crawls in recollection of the disgusting scene I’d walked in on.  I just can’t help thinking I was put there for a purpose.  I’ve never been what you’d call religious, but if ever there was an event to make me re-assess the existence of a higher power, the thought of what could’ve happened if I hadn’t been running past at that exact moment in time is it.  As I stare down at her sleeping form, the way her long eyelashes feather against her smooth cheeks, I think how different this moment could be for her if I
hadn’t
been there.  She’d be waking up this morning violated, possibly hurt, and probably traumatized.  How narrowly she escaped that fate – I can feel a painful burning in my chest just thinking about it.  It also serves to refuel my anger toward the person who victimized her.

Suddenly Tawny begins to stir.  I lie still, hoping she won’t be alarmed or upset when she wakes up and realizes where she is.  I watch as she slowly comes to life, stretching and yawning.  When she finally cracks her eyes open, I’m the first thing she sees; to my everlasting relief, although she seems a little surprised to be pressed up against me, she doesn’t immediately pull away.

When she lifts up on one elbow, she peers over me, then grins sheepishly.  I’m unable to suppress my own grin once I realize it’s the first time I’ve seen her smile in recent memory, even though I’m not yet sure what she’s smiling about.  “I’m sorry I hogged the bed,” she says.  “You’re about out of space over there.”

I chuckle.  “No worries.  I wouldn’t have let you push me off.”

She looks back down at me, and her hair tumbles forward around her shoulders, framing her face in silky waves.  Her smile fades, but not completely; her lips remain curved in the remnants of a grin.  I know I should keep my head flat against the pillow, but watching her look at me in that way, with her eyes darting from my eyes to my mouth, I can tell I’m about to make a mistake.  I move slowly, though my fingers itch to move faster, reaching one hand out to touch her cheek.  She stills as she bites down on her bottom lip, seeming to hold her breath.  And then I do something I know I shouldn’t – I lift up as I guide her face downward, and I kiss her. 

But she kisses me
back
.

For the space of four or five seconds, all is right with the world.  I want to open my mouth, but I resist the temptation, set on simply savoring this gift, such as it is.  When Tawny breaks away, I’m disappointed, but I can’t say I’m surprised.  I gaze searchingly into her eyes, but her expression isn’t giving anything away.  She just looks at me for a moment – and then she shocks me by bending forward again and recapturing my lips.  This time it feels different.  She shifts, aligning the front of her body with the side of mine, her breath deepening to match my own ragged breathing.  She falls back on the bed, pulling me with her to reverse our positions so I’m above her.  This time I part my lips, and she lets me in.  The soft moan that escapes her when I run the tip of my tongue over her plump lower lip makes me seize up with lust and desire and everything else in between, months and months of longing building to a crescendo that’s begging to reach its apex.

Her hands sweep over my upper body, exploring every muscle, ridge and valley as she arches her back beneath me.  I drop my hand to cover her hip, then slide it along her thigh, lifting her leg to wrap around my waist.  I’m careful not to lie too close or  press between her legs the way I really want to, knowing if I do it will be much more difficult for me to stop – because
God help me,
I want to keep going.

I bow my head and run my nose along her neck, then around the back of her jawline to her ear, where I press my lips into her tender skin.  When she shivers, my own body quivers in response.  Tawny hitches her other leg up and around my waist, drawing me closer.  I’m getting so turned on, keeping my thoughts in order is becoming increasingly problematic.  My body is on fire, but sirens are going off in my head, warning me not to surpass the point of no return.  After all, there seems to be something inherently wrong about having sex with Tawny a mere twelve hours after her own boyfriend took advantage of her.  Something tells me she may come to resent that choice.

I’m not sure anyone could ever appreciate the sheer willpower that goes into pulling myself away from Tawny in this moment – especially if they could see the tortured look that registered in her eyes the moment she realizes what I’m doing.  Her face twists into an adorable pout as I climb off of her and attempt to calm down my raging hormones.  She opens her mouth like she’s about to start telling me off, but before she can speak I press a finger to her lips.

“Before you say anything,” I pant, “please know that I did
not
want to stop just now – I just don’t want you to regret anything later…in light of everything else that’s happened.”  She closes her mouth, seemingly pacified, at least for the moment.  I’m not sure whether it’s a good idea to utter the next words on the tip of my tongue, but since I’m feeling especially reckless, I go ahead and say them anyway.  Lowering my lips close to her neck I whisper, “But if it was up to me, I’d hope we could pick up where we left off…later.”

When I pull back, Tawny’s eyes are clouded with something I can’t name.  I swallow, hoping I haven’t just upset her; my breath comes out in a whoosh when she raises one corner of her mouth in a quasi-smile.  Suddenly she twists to look at the clock on the nightstand; the smile slips from her face as her eyes widen.  “Oh no, is it really almost eleven?”  She bolts upright.

“Afraid so,” I reply.  “Don’t feel the need to rush out of here on my account though.”  Despite what just happened between us, hidden in my words is a plea for her to stay – there’s too much I don’t know about what will happen if she leaves.  For one thing, I imagine she’s been sharing a room with that son of a bitch she called a boyfriend.  The thought makes me want to insist upon shadowing her today to ensure he doesn’t try anything.