Forever My Girl (7 page)

“We should talk about Liam and Noah. I know I’m not Noah’s dad, but I want to be, you know this. I was wrong for the way I acted today, so very wrong for lashing out at you about Liam and I’m sorry.”

“I know you are.” I run my fingers through his hair. “I don’t think Liam will want to be a part of Noah’s life right now, but maybe later. Maybe we should just leave it alone; he’ll be gone soon.”

Nick pushes my hair behind my ear. He cups my chin and pulls me closer. “I love you, Josie,” he says before kissing me. His kiss is soft, not rushed, like he’s taking his time to memorize me. Almost as if he’s desperate.

I love him, I do. But seeing Liam with Noah I can’t help but wonder about what the future holds and how Nick and I can fit together.

“Hey Josie!” Katelyn and I turn around to see Liam Westbury walking toward us. Katelyn is a traitor and leaves my side. She’s laughing as she walks away. My palms are sweating and my legs suddenly feel like jello.

This year I finally noticed him. He grew up so much over the summer that I really didn’t pay attention before when we were at Katelyn’s house. Then he went away to football camp for a month and came back totally hot.

I’ve been dying for him to take off his shirt just once so I can have a clear visual of his abs because my imagination just isn’t cutting it.

“Hey,” he says. He’s holding his football helmet in one hand. The other is tugging at the collar of his jersey, one that I want to rip off.

“Hey,” I say stupidly.

“How was the rest of your summer?”

“It was good. I read a lot.” I read a lot? Oh my god he’s going to think I’m a nerd. What the hell is wrong with me? The ground hassuddenly become very interesting as I stare at my shoe while it pushes a rock around.

My skin tingles when he lifts my chin, his sky blue eyes boring into mine and all I can think about is jumping into his arms and stuffing my tongue into his mouth. I’m only fifteen, but I’ve watched movies. I'm sure I can figure it out.

“Will you go to homecoming with me?”

“Homecoming?” My mind can barely comprehend what he’s asking. But I swear to god he said homecoming. As in get all dressed up and dance. That means he wants to dance with me, hold me against his body and sway to cheesy love songs. The same love songs I play at night when I’m writing Josephine Westbury in my notebook.

“Yeah. I have my driver’s license now so I can drive and I thought—”

“Yes!” He jumps and starts laughing. “Sorry,” I say covering my face with my hands.

He pulls my hands away but doesn’t let go of them. When he leans forward I feel as if I’m going to pass out. He smells like Old Spice, my new favorite smell.

“Please don’t cover your face. You’re far too gorgeous to hide.” He kisses me on the cheek before walking toward the field. “I’ll call you tonight.” He turns back and yells before he takes off running.

I wake up in a cold sweat with tears streaming down my face. Nick is snoring softly beside me, his arm pinning me to the bed. I maneuver out from underneath him and make my way to the bathroom.

With the light off, I sit on the edge of the tub and cry into a towel, muffling my sobs. I never thought I’d see the boy who stole my heart and failed to give it back.

I’m not sure I want it back.

CHAPTER 11

LIAM

When I leave Katelyn’s house I decide to stop at the store. This time I don’t care who sees me because if some tart in a tight little dress wants to follow me she can. Hell she can bring her friends as long as they bring alcohol. I grab a case of beer, chips and some candy and set it gently on the conveyor belt. There is an older woman working now so I think I’m in the clear. I highly doubt she listens to my music or even knows who I am for that matter.

I hold my breath, hoping she doesn’t ask for my driver’s license. I make very little eye contact with her and offer her a few strategically timed smiles as she swipes my items.

“Does your mama know you’re back in town?”

I study the cashier to see if I can place her. Her name tag says 'Shirley' and I rack my brain. I can’t remember her, but that doesn’t mean I can’t play along.

“No, ma’am,” I reply, trying to be as polite as possible. She eyes the tattoos on my arms, probably looking for the one that says MOM. Sadly, she won’t find one on my body.

“No, I don’t suppose she does. Seems since word broke out that you're in town, the girls around here are in a bit of a frenzy.”

“I don’t mean to rile anyone up. Just came to pay my respects.”

“Such a shame what happened to Mason. Sure hope Katelyn can take care of those babies.”

I nod and start wishing that she’ll hurry up. I don’t really want to chat. I want to drink away my sorrows and pay tribute to my friend.

“Katelyn will be just fine.” I’ll make sure of it.

“Yeah, I suppose with all your fancy music money you can step up and take care of her.”

I take a deep breath and roll my neck. I won’t lose my patience. When she finally tells me my total, I hand her a twenty and tell her to keep the change. Now she has a nice little tip from my fancy music money.

“Tell my mom I say hi when you see her.” I pick up my items and walk away and her mouth hangs open. Stupid town gossip. After today everyone will know I’m here and I can’t leave for another few days. I made a promise to Peyton and I intend to keep it.

The drive is familiar and when I pull into the field I let out a sigh of relief that no one is here. I climb the ladder, my beer and snacks in the plastic bag. I get to the top and hold onto the railing, looking out over the field. I never appreciated the view when I was spending every Friday night here. The view in the parking lot is what kept my attention. Josie and her long legs, always bare because we’d come right from the game. I’d change, but she always kept her cheerleading outfit on. She knew how much I liked it.

I sit in my same spot. My finger traces the heart with mine and Josie’s initials in it. I put that there after homecoming our sophomore year. I knew that night I wanted this girl in my life forever and wasn’t afraid to tell her.

Until I left her when I should’ve packed her bags for her and carried her to my truck.

I wonder if Josie would’ve liked Los Angeles.

I down my first, than second beer. If I had my truck I’d be shooting the empties into the back just so I could hear them shatter. So I can have some type of relief from this building pain.

When a truck pulls in and backs up, I know my time is over. I close my eyes and wait for the laughter to appear. Mason and I were so loud the girls were always telling us to shut up. I don’t see who got out of the truck, but can hear them climbing the ladder.

Lovely.

“What are you doing here?” I look over and see Katelyn walking toward me. I stand and offer her my hand until she sits down in what would’ve been Mason’s spot, on my left.

“I should be asking you the same thing. Why aren’t you home with those beautiful babies?”

“They are with Mason’s dad tonight. He wanted to have them and I can’t say no. He’s lost so much in the past year.”

I look at her questioningly. She smiles sadly. “Mrs. Powell died last year.”

And the knife just keeps twisting.

“I’m sorry,” I say simply because I have nothing else to say. There is no excuse for what I’ve done.

“Where ya been, Liam?”        

Well now that’s the million dollar question because if you watch TV or read the magazines while waiting to check out at the local mart, everyone knows where I’ve been.

“You gotta be a little more specific than that,” I reply as I throw my first empty into the bed of the truck. Katelyn reaches into my bag, grabs a beer and pops the top.

“What happened to you? Because when you went off to Texas everything was fine and then you show up one night and everything isn’t?”

I throw my second empty into the truck. My third follows and I open my fourth and chug it down to throw it.

“I got to school and hated it. I hated practice, the team, everything about it. And one night I went to this on campus hang-out and there was an open mic night so I gave it a try and I liked it and I don’t know.”

“Did you tell Josie?”

“Nah, our meeting didn’t go so well the other night. I was pissed and antagonized her a bit.”      

We sit in silence, drinking and throwing our bottles into the truck. Katelyn’s throws get harder and harder the more she drinks and I imagine she’s taking out some type of anger.

“For the first time in twelve years I don’t have Mason by my side.”

I know she’s sad and I could hold her and let her cry or I can share in her misery.

“I have a kid.”

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because if looks could kill I’d be dead right now.

“Does Josie know?”

I can’t help but laugh. I shake my head. “I hope so, unless Noah isn’t hers. Then I’m screwed because that boy is definitely mine and definitely hers.”

“You’re such an ass,” she says pushing my shoulder. I fall back so she thinks she’s strong. “No other kids, huh? How many wives and girlfriends do you have?”

I toss my empty down to the truck and smile when it shatters. I’m going to have to go over and clean out her truck tomorrow.

“No other kids, no wives and no girlfriends.”

“Right now?”       

I look at her and give her the stink eye. “Ever. Never. Not since Josie.”

“I’ve seen those rags with your picture on them and you have some blond with you all the time.”

I lean against the tower and sip on my next beer. Katelyn is keeping up with me and we’ll be out soon. This sort of pisses me off. I should’ve bought two cases.

“That’s Sam, my manager. She wants to be my girlfriend and tells me that I owe her since she’s been with me since I started. I don’t know. Lately I’ve been thinking about firing her.”

Katelyn doesn’t say anything; she just stares out into the darkness. Every now and again I see her wipe her eyes. I want to help her but don’t know how. I could wrap my arms around her, pull her into a hug, but that might be awkward for her so I opt to rub her back.

“I’ll never forgive myself. I should’ve called or at least come back. I could’ve kept in touch but leaving here and leaving everything behind – I needed a clean break. I had to try and make a name for myself and when I did, people just kept pushing and pulling and the next thing I know I’m in my hotel room and I’m reading the paper. I kept saying to myself there is no fucking way he’s gone because I didn’t get to say good-bye.

“He’s gone and I never got a chance to tell him how fucking sorry I am for being a total dick and leaving. Mason didn’t do jack shit to me and I left him because I’m a fucking coward and couldn’t face the bullshit going on in my life. God, I’m so sorry you lost him.”

Katelyn leans back and buries her face in my chest. She starts to sob so I put my arms around her and let her cry. I wipe away the tears that have let loose and try to be strong for her. The more she cries, the more I do. Maybe crying is therapeutic, maybe your body needs it to expel the pent up energy. Maybe we just need to cry for Mason.

We stay like this, holding each other, until the sun starts to come up. Her face is red and streaked from smeared make-up. Lines are creased on her face from my jacket, but I don’t care. I continue to hold her until she’s ready to say good-bye.

CHAPTER 12

JOSIE

For the first time, I’m closing the shop for no reason. My lack of sleep is evident by the dark bags under my eyes. Nick felt my forehead, always in doctor mode, before leaving for work and suggested I take a day for myself. I opted to give Jenna another day off as well. No one needs flowers today anyway and if they do, they’ll understand why I’m closed and come back tomorrow.

Noah is crunching away on his cereal, his eyes glued to his recent
Sports Illustrated
. Yesterday I watched him and Liam with reservation, but still allowed them to get to know each other. Today I’ve decided that was enough. I can’t have my son getting hurt when Liam skips town again. He isn’t planning on staying, whether he’s told me this or not. I just know it. I feel it in my heart. He has a life away from Beaumont, one that doesn’t include Noah and likely never will.

I pour myself a cup of coffee and sit down across from Noah. He doesn’t look up, completely enthralled in whatever article he’s reading. Guaranteed it’s about football. I tried to discourage him, suggest he play soccer but he wouldn’t hear of it. He’s been a natural and it scares me. I see so much of Liam in him and I don’t want to.

“Did you know Liam Westbury was on the cover of Sports Illustrated when he was in high school?”

I spit out my coffee, the hot liquid dribbling down my chin. How does he know this? Nick and I, as well as Mason and Katelyn, have never discussed Liam with Noah. I can’t even remember a time when Liam’s name has come up. We’ve always skirted around that name. I secretly chide the teachers at school always praising Liam for everything he’s done for Beaumont and football.

“Guess what?”

Liam wraps his arms around me from behind, nuzzling my neck. “What?” I ask as I set my books on the shelf in my locker. I catch a glimpse of our junior prom picture – Liam in his black tux and me in my red knee-length dress.

“Someone is going to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated.”

I turn and wrap my arms around him. I know he’s wanted this since last year when he came close to breaking the state record for passing yards and he’s close again this year. “I’m so proud of you.”

“I couldn’t have done it without my girl,” he says before kissing me full on the lips, a big no-no in the hallway.

“We should go celebrate.”

“What are you thinking?” he asks suggestively.