Forever & an Engine (19 page)

‘Hmmm, very
nice, but you can do that in the shower too. What else can you do?’ I sighed as
he pulled his head back, leaving my head all tingly.

‘I can put
body wash in my hands and stroke your soft skin.’ He did each individual
finger, then hand and worked his way up my arms to my shoulders before moving
onto my back, stomach and then each breast making me softly moan as my skin
came to life under his hands.

‘Still no
different to the shower. Can you do anything else?’ I asked, getting more
relaxed and excited by the minute.

‘I can
clean between your legs, as I understand you were very naughty, twice, this
afternoon.’

‘Well I
don’t care that you could do that in the shower anymore. Yes I was incredibly
naughty and got
very
dirty, three times so far today in fact. I think I
need a full deluxe valet please,’ I asked as I put my arms around his neck.

‘Interior
or Exterior?’

‘I think I’m
in need of both, I don’t think you understand just how dirty I got.’

‘Very well I’m
sure I can accommodate you,’ he smiled with a wink.

‘How much
will it cost me?’

‘£50.00
Miss Page.’

‘O no, Mr
Austin I’m so sorry, but I’ve no cash or cards on me. Do you accept any
alternative method of payment?’

‘I think we
can come to a mutually beneficial arrangement in lieu of payment Miss Page,’ he
replied as he kissed me again and very gently slid two fingers inside me and
turned them, making me sigh his name. ‘Too sore?’ he asked.

‘Not if you
go gently,’ I moaned. He made me lie back as he climbed over me and propped
himself up with his hand on the headrest next to my head, his thumb stroking my
hair. He continued to work his other fingers inside me and leant down to kiss
me. He was so slow and tender in comparison to the last three times we’d sex it
was hard to believe it was the same guy, until I looked at his body, his face
and those eyes. Those eyes that could burn right through me and make me
spontaneously combust, or even come, as I did before he removed his fingers and
slowly sank himself into me groaning with pleasure.

He gently
nibbled my neck as I stroked the back of his in his favourite spot. As he moved
inside me, the rhythm of our hips, created a continuous wave in the water and
it sloshed back and forth spilling over the sides onto the floor. I pushed my
head back and closed my eyes and groaned. His long slow delicious strokes had
me quivering on the edge of an orgasm, but not quite riding over the top. It
was a long slow build up and I was squeaking and squealing in pleasure as
caressed me inside and out.

‘Mia I want
to see you, I want you to see me. Look into my eyes baby.’ I had to force
myself to look at him and keep my eyes at least partly open, I just wanted to
lie back and give into it. It also scared me when I looked into them, he looked
at me like I was this unflawed beautiful creature that he couldn’t get enough
of. I was still so frightened of not continuing to live up to his ideals, or worse
still, of somehow letting him down one day.

‘Gabe
please,’ I groaned. ‘Let me close them, please let me close them.’

‘Why?’

‘It’s too
much, the way you look at me.’

‘How do I
look at you?’ he panted, as he started to build up his pace and circled his
hips and mine rose up and followed his lead.

‘Like I’m
everything … to you ... O god ...
please
.’ I could feel my body prepared
to climax again, the pull in of my stomach muscles, my breathing and the flush
of my cheeks.

‘You are
Mia … keep looking at me … you’re my everything, I
love you
baby,’ he
groaned. He knew I was close, he could read my body so well, he always made
sure we were in perfect timing.

‘Gabe.’ I
gripped his forearms tightly. ‘Please, please …
please,’
I cried out as
my body arched up and my eyes started to close.

‘Keep them
open Mia,’ he ordered. As my body started to judder I was hit again and again
by waves of orgasm and I focussed all my attention on his eyes. I felt the
tears welling up in my own as I looked and I saw again how deep his feelings
for me ran. I knew he loved me, but I could also see his adoration, his
passion, his need for me and I felt undeserving.

‘Miaaaa,
I
love you,’
he whispered again as he filled me with his seemingly never
ending ejaculation and fell down into my arms. I sobbed into his neck and he
kept repeating it over and over until my body slowed down and I stopped crying,
my arms wrapped tightly around his neck. I slowly let go and grasped his hair
and as he pulled his head up to look at me, I kissed him again and again
between my tears. He sat back on his heels watching me as I sat up and rubbed
my eyes.

‘What’s
wrong Mia? You seem sad, was that not good for you?’ he said as he delicately
ran his finger down my cheek.

‘It was
wonderful, it’s always wonderful. You’re so amazing Gabe and I love you so much
it hurts, but I’m still scared.’

‘Scared of
what?’

‘That what
you feel for me has an expiration date,’ I whispered.

‘Mia, how
could you say that?’ He looked slightly hurt, which wasn’t my intention.

‘I’m so
young, inexperienced and immature.’

‘And you
see me as what? Old, experienced and mature? Are you confusing me with my dad
again?’ he said with a smile.

‘Gabe, I’m
trying to be serious. You keep accusing me of bailing and not talking to you
and I’m trying to tell you how I feel.’

‘I’m sorry
baby.’

‘I’m scared
I’m not good enough for you and you’re going to wake up one morning and realise
you could do better and leave me.’ He took my hands, kissed them and tilted my
chin back up to look at him.

‘I told you
Mia, I love you. I’ve no intention of ever letting you go, you’re my forever. You
don’t think I’m scared that you’ll feel the same and leave me?’

‘You feel scared?
But you’re always seem so confident,
all
the time.’

‘I am with
everything but you Mia. I feel like my world unravels when I’m around you. It’s
like I’m surrounded by darkness, you’re all I can see.’

‘See you’re
so romantic you always know the right things to say, know the right things to
do. How do I make it clear to you what you mean to me?’

‘Just be
yourself Mia, I don’t need anything else. To see you smiling and laughing when you’re
with me, your face when I make you come, even just letting me hold you when you
sleep or cry. That tells me how you feel about me, but when you say I love you …’
he shook his head. ‘I never feel so happy as when you tell me you love me.’

‘But I love
you doesn’t seem enough. People say it all the time and sometimes they don’t
even mean it. I’d like to find some other way to express how I feel and I don’t
know how to.’ I felt so frustrated at not being able to articulate my feelings
for him.

‘So try
something you think I’ll understand, that I’ll relate to.’

‘Something you’ll
relate to?’ I questioned as I dried my eyes and looked up at him.

‘Yes,’ he
nodded, grabbing and kissing my fingers again.

‘Ok I can
do this. You’re a guy. I know you like your penis, sex, sports, xbox, cars …
cars
.
Ok if you could have any car in the world, money was no object, what would it
be?’

‘Easy a
Lamborghini Veneno,’ he replied without even having to think about it.

‘Ok then
imagine I’m a Lamborghini Veneno.’

‘Wow baby
you come fast, but I don’t think even you could do it in 2.8 seconds.’

‘
Gabe.
’

‘Sorry, ok you’re
a Lamborghini Veneno. I can totally see it, both very
very
sexy,
expensive and classy with incredibly sleek curves and a very nice chassis,’ he
grinned.

‘O this was
a stupid idea, just forget it.’ I pulled my hands away from his and tried to
scramble up out of the bath and he stopped me and pulled me down to my knees in
front of him.

‘Mia please
don’t go. I’m sorry, I’ll keep quiet, tell me what you wanted to say.’

‘If you’re
going to take the piss, I’d rather not,’ I responded with a frown.

‘I promise
not to, tell me baby,’ he said as he stroked my face.

‘You’ll
think it’s silly.’

‘Mia,’ he
kissed my forehead and rubbed his nose on mine. ‘Tell me,’ he said as he looked
into my eyes. Talk about my baby blues,
he
was like a hypnotist, one
look into his and I was under his spell and would do anything he asked.

‘I was just
going to say I might be the Lamborghini, but you’re my engine. Without you I’m
going nowhere, I’m just a shell and I’m worthless. You’re what makes me so
special, I need you to function.’ I looked down embarrassed at my stupid
analogy and gently stroked his firm thigh with my fingers acutely aware of the
silence that remained for what seemed like forever, but was probably in reality
only a few seconds.

‘I’m your
engine?’ I heard him ask.

‘Yes, I
know it was a stupid thing to say. Just forget it,’ I said shaking my head.

‘No baby,’
he whispered. ‘It’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me.’ He
lifted my chin up to look at him again and I was shocked to see he’d a tear in
his eye. ‘Really, I’m your engine?’

‘Of course you
are Gabe, I love you so much and I’m scared that if I lost you I’d fall apart
and it’s only been weeks since we met. How am I going to feel after months or
years with you if I lost you?’

‘I know
baby, I feel the same, so we have to communicate. You tell me if you’re unhappy
in any way and we work on fixing it ok? You don’t run and shut me out.’

‘I’m not
used to sharing my feelings Gabe, but I’m really going to try, I promise.’

‘Thank you.
So does that mean we can get out of what remains of this bath as it’s bloody
freezing and I want to snuggle in bed.’

‘Gabe
Austin, a snuggler? Wow if that got out your street cred would be ruined,’ I
smiled. He grinned and stood up giving me his hand.

‘I’ll
always have your You Tube clip to boost it back up.’

He insisted
I get into bed to rest up while he mopped up the bathroom floor. I lay
daydreaming until he came back in with a hot chocolate and some peanut butter and
butter on toast to keep me going until I could eat again after my op tomorrow. He
sat on the edge of the bed smiling as he watched me eat, then took away my
empty cup and plates and returned with a gift wrapped box in his hands and
handed it to me. I looked at him surprised, it was a large heavy square shaped
item, beautifully wrapped in silver paper, with silver curled ribbon around it
and it was stone cold.

‘Is this
what you hid in the fridge earlier?’

‘Yes.’

‘What is
it?’

‘Well you’ll
have to open it and see, it’s a small gift for you for tomorrow.’

I carefully
unwrapped it and bit my lip as I saw a huge solid puffed milk chocolate heart.
Our names were piped in it in white icing. Gabe written across and Mia down,
both names sharing the letter ‘a’.

‘See you’re
so romantic, thank you,’ I said as I hugged him tightly.

‘You’ve
something to chew on in hospital now. I know you love your chocolate.’

‘Are you
kidding me? I’m never eating this. In fact I’m going to get it framed. I’ve
seen some of those deep box frames in a local gallery, the ones that people put
baby’s first boots and things in. This is going on my wall.’

‘You’re
seriously not going to eat it?’

‘No, it’s a
lovely present and I want to keep it to remember.’

‘What were
you doing in a gallery? I didn’t think you were into art. You’ve got nothing up
on the walls.’

‘Because
we’ve only just moved in and I have very particular tastes. I love Doug Hyde and
Peter Smith’s work, but they’re quite expensive. So, I’m saving up so I can
choose one every few months to start filling up the wall space. It’s also
complicated as I like to colour co-ordinate.’

‘You choose
expensive pieces of art based on colour co-ordination?’ he asked shaking his
head in amusement.

‘Yes and if
the picture speaks to me. You’re laughing at me again Gabe.’

‘You make
me laugh with your quirky ideas. It’s adorable. Right you need to sleep now.’

‘Then get
into bed and stop wooing me with food.’

He climbed
in and lay on his back and held his arm out for me to move in. I turned off the
light and rolled over to him and we wrapped ourselves tightly around each
other.

‘Gabe?’

‘Yes.’

‘Why were
you so mean with your other women during sex?’

‘Mia,’ he
sighed.

‘I’d like
to know.’

‘I didn’t
like myself very much, I told you I was angry a lot of the time and it made me
feel better to take out my frustrations in bed.’