“Hi, Danielle.” Suzie walked up and sat beside her. “Trey and Tasha will be along in a minute. Listen, I’m sorry about the kerfuffle earlier in Jake’s office. I didn’t mean to embarrass you or anything.”
“It’s okay.”
“Trey’s a bit overprotective and—oh, here they come.”
Danielle glanced up to see Tasha and Trey talking together as they walked along the tree-lined path across campus. She and Suzie stood up and joined them as they continued to the car. They made the short drive home in silence.
After dinner, Tasha went out to see her friends again. She’d asked to sleep over a couple of days and Suzie had agreed. Danielle made dinner, so Suzie and Trey insisted on doing the dishes. As Danielle sat in the living room reading, she could hear their conversation in the kitchen.
“I would think you’d be happy about me going out with one of your best friends. Isn’t that better than me going out with someone you don’t know anything about?”
Dishes clanked together as she dropped them into the water-filled sink with a little too much exuberance.
“He told you he’s going out with someone.”
“Sure, but he didn’t seem too confident about it.”
More dishes clanked.
“Look, Trey, I’ve been interested in Jake for a long time. He’s a great guy—you’ve said that yourself. He’s intelligent and interesting and sensitive . . . and on top of that, he’s exceptionally good-looking. What more could a girl want?”
What more indeed.
Cutlery clinked on the countertop.
“Suzie, I understand your point, but . . . you just don’t understand the whole situation.”
“Then enlighten me.”
There was a long pause.
“The situation with Jake and this woman is . . . a bit confusing . . . but I know he really cares about her.”
Danielle sucked in a breath at the raw emotions welling up in her. If Trey really believed that, then . . . what did he think of this whole situation?
“Confusing how? I don’t understand.”
“I can’t tell you how. It’s . . . personal stuff, but . . . Look, Suzie, the woman Jake is dating is . . . a friend of mine. If he throws her over for you . . . I don’t want to see her hurt.”
Silence hung in the air. Danielle stared at her book, but couldn’t concentrate on the words. Trey was being protective of her, and that touched her heart.
“You really like this woman?” Suzie asked.
“Yes.”
“More than me?”
Trey chuckled. “You know I don’t like
anyone
more than you, Suzie-Q.”
Suzie laughed, and from the muffled sound, Danielle bet they were hugging right about now.
“Okay, Trey. I’ll back off. But if he breaks up with this woman, I want you to phone me right away . . . and set us up!”
“I’ll call you, but you set up your own dates!”
“Deal!”
The next day, Danielle, Trey, and Suzie spent the hot sunny afternoon lying around the pool, with an occasional dip in the water to cool off, then enjoyed barbecued burgers and salad for dinner. Danielle enjoyed chatting with Suzie and Trey about the latest TV shows, movies, books, and current events. Suzie showed a great interest in how people felt about things. Their likes and dislikes. Their hopes and dreams. Not that Danielle revealed much about herself, but Suzie’s intense interest made her feel like the woman actually cared. It made her feel even more intensely how she’d love to have a sister.
Finally, once the sun set and the mosquitoes started biting, they gathered up their dishes and moved into the house. After they’d done the dishes, Trey went out back to put the pool cover on to keep the heat in overnight. Danielle and Suzie settled on the couch with a glass of wine.
“Danielle, I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how did you wind up in the foster care system?”
Danielle’s stomach clenched but she just shrugged. “My mother gave me up.”
Suzie sipped her wine. “Have you ever wondered what she was like?”
“No. I know exactly what she was like.” She kept her voice even, despite the turmoil thoughts of her mother elicited.
“You weren’t a baby when she gave you up?”
“No. I know a lot of women—especially teenagers—give up their babies when they have an unexpected pregnancy, but that’s not what happened with me.” A lump formed in her throat. “Those kids are lucky because . . . their mothers cared what happened to them . . . or at least gave some thought to it.” She picked up her glass and took a sip. “In my case, my mother just . . . didn’t care.”
“Honey, that’s probably not true.”
“Oh, it’s true.” She stared at her wine as she swirled it in the glass, not willing to allow Suzie to see the anger and hurt in her eyes. “One night when I was four years old, my mother just got sick of my crying and . . . shoved me outside and locked the door.”
Danielle remembered the absolute terror she’d felt standing outside the house . . . all alone. She had banged on the door and cried, pleading with her mother to let her back in, but the door had remained closed. Later, when she was old enough to understand these things, she’d discovered that her mother was an alcoholic, and if she hadn’t been totally plastered, she might have realized what a bad idea it had been to leave her young daughter outside where people could hear her screaming.
Danielle didn’t know how long she’d been out there, alone and crying. It had felt like forever.
Suzie shook her head in disbelief, staring at Danielle to assure herself this wasn’t some kind of strange joke.
“Oh, Danielle, I’m so sorry.” Suzie moved closer.
Knowing Suzie probably wanted to hug her, Danielle stood up and paced the room.
Suzie watched her. “How could she do such a thing?”
“Later, I heard that she’d been pretty drunk that night.”
“But that doesn’t explain how a mother could treat her child that way.” Suzie shook her head. “That was . . . inhuman.”
Danielle found herself blinking back tears. She’d lived with this a long time, thought that she was over it . . . or at least immune to the emotional turmoil remembering the event used to cause her. But clearly that wasn’t true.
“What happened?” Suzie asked. “Did she finally let you back in?”
Danielle shook her head. “After a while, a neighbor heard me. She came to see if I was okay.”
Danielle had backed away, screaming, when the woman had tried to approach her. The poor woman had been frantic to help this scared little girl. She kept saying she just wanted to help, but Danielle had been too frantic . . . too frightened.
“I guess she called someone. I don’t really remember.” She did remember that the woman had stood about twenty yards away, keeping an eye on her. “Not long after that, the police showed up.”
That had terrified her even more. She’d thought they’d come to arrest her and that they’d throw her into a dark jail cell.
“I don’t really remember much after that, except . . . when I finally saw my mother again . . . years later . . .” Danielle’s fists clenched by her sides. “She told me she was glad they took me away. I’d always been a pain in the ass to her and she was glad to be rid of me.”
“She actually said that?” Suzie asked, her eyes gleaming.
Danielle simply nodded, wondering why in hell she had revealed that.
Suzie stepped toward her and gathered Danielle in her arms.
“I can’t believe a mother would do that to a small child. That she would do that to
you
.”
Danielle stood stiffly in Suzie’s warm embrace. A part of her wanted to relax into the comforting warmth the woman offered her . . . but she couldn’t. Remembering her mother brought it all back. The reality was that she was alone in this life . . . and she had to remember that. It wasn’t safe to let anyone get close. She couldn’t let herself rely on anyone.
“I wish I had been there.” Suzie stroked Danielle’s back. “I wish I could have held you when you were that little child and told you how special you are.”
At those words, tears prickled at Danielle’s eyes again.
How different would her life have been if she’d had someone who’d really cared about her? If she’d had someone who would have held her when she’d cried? Who would have really cared when she’d been hurting?
Who would have loved her.
But she hadn’t, and there was no point crying over what she couldn’t change. She blinked back the tears.
“What’s going on?”
Seventeen
At Trey’s voice behind her, Danielle drew herself from Suzie’s arms. She carefully turned away from Trey so he couldn’t see her expression nor the single tear that had escaped despite her resolve.
“Nothing.” She stroked her hair behind her ear, dashing away the tear in the process. “I’m going to head to bed now.” She strode to the hallway and escaped toward the bedroom.
“Trey.” Suzie’s voice stopped Trey as he started to follow Danielle.
Danielle slipped into the room and closed the door behind her.
She sat down on the bed and fought back the overwhelming emotions flooding through her at the unwelcome memories. Damn it, she’d thought she’d put all these feelings behind her.
A few moments later, a light tap sounded at the door.
“Danielle, it’s Trey. May I come in?”
Damn it. Why couldn’t he leave her alone?
“Danielle?”
She cleared her throat, knowing she’d have to answer him.
“Yes.” Thankfully, the word came out clearly . . . not a croak as she’d feared.
The door opened and Trey stepped inside, his expression one of concern. He closed the door and approached the bed.
“Suzie told me about your conversation.” He sat beside her, concern simmering in his warm brown eyes. “I knew you were in foster care but . . .” He rested his hand on her arm and she fought her instinctive reaction to pull it away. “I had no idea how your mother had . . .” He hesitated, watching her carefully, his expression sympathetic. “How difficult it was for you.”
She simply nodded in acknowledgment.
“I should have asked. I wish I had.” His lips pursed. “I just didn’t want to pry.”
“It’s okay.” Her voice came out hoarse.
“Not that I’m saying Suzie was prying,” he went on. “She just naturally asks questions. Because she cares.”
Danielle nodded again.
He curled his fingers around her hand. “Are you okay?”
She didn’t utter a word, needing all her attention to keep it together.
When she didn’t answer, he squeezed her hand, then kissed it. “Danielle? I wish you’d say something.”
She sucked in a deep breath, ready to assure him that everything was just fine.
“I’m—”
Her voice cracked, and Trey’s heart crumbled. Her eyes were awash with unshed tears and she looked so very . . . vulnerable.
“Oh, sweetheart.” He drew her into his arms and held her close.
She sat stiff in his embrace, clearly fighting the overwhelming pain showing in her tortured eyes. Gently, he drew her head against his shoulder, cradling it there with one hand while he held her close with the other.
The thought of her as a small child . . . thrown out into the night . . . terrified and frightened . . . gnawed at him. How could any mother do that to her own child? No wonder Danielle never allowed herself to get close to anyone. To depend on anyone. The one person whom she should have been able to depend on without question . . . who should have loved her unconditionally . . . had betrayed her completely.
“You should never have been treated that way.”
At his words, she collapsed against him. Her body shook in sobs and he felt dampness against his shirt. She was shedding the tears she’d been trying so hard to hold back.
He stroked her back, pressing his lips to her soft hair and kissing her gently. A protective instinct flared through him, so strong it nearly bowled him over . . . followed by the realization of just how much he loved this woman.
And if the time was ever right to tell her, it was now. A part of him wanted to hold back, at least until he’d had a chance to talk to Jake—Jake was a part of this relationship, too—but Danielle needed to know she was loved, and right now, that was more important than anything else.
“Danielle, I understand why you’ve always kept to yourself. Why you’ve shied away from love. Because you’ve always believed you were alone. But . . .” He tucked his finger under her chin and tipped her face upward. Rivulets of tears streaked her cheeks. “If I have my way”—his voice lowered to a murmur and he smiled tenderly—“you’ll never be alone again.”
Her gleaming eyes gazed at him without comprehension.
“Because . . . I’m crazy in love with you.”
“You’re . . . ?” She shook her head in confusion. “I . . .”
He kissed her tenderly on the lips.
“Sweetheart, I love you. I want you to be a part of my life.”
Her eyes clouded and he knew she was struggling to accept his words. Of course she would struggle with this. She couldn’t trust love. Not that fast. But she would with time. He’d make sure of it. But right now, he wouldn’t give her time to deny his feelings. Or hers.
He captured her lips again, gently at first, stroking her lips with his own. Then he deepened the kiss. Finally, she succumbed to his tender persuasion and melted against him. Her tongue glided along his lips, then slipped inside. He groaned and gathered her closer.