For the Love of Ash (31 page)

"Monster Mash" was playing in the background. The lights were all dimmed, with strange black lights lighting the way through the foyer. Janet was dressed as a witch, her dark hair teased to the extreme with a triangle hat on top. She had on a long black dress with a corset-style front that had lime green ribbons crisscrossing up the bodice.

"I'm so glad you all could come," she said as we walked inside. I looked beside me, and Ash was already gone.
 

"I didn't know there were going to be so many people," I said as I took it all in.

"Oh! I'm sorry. I hope it's not a problem. I do this every year. The kids love it." She looked behind her and saw the kids all gone. "I've got alcohol, too, for the parents. Feel free to mingle. There are a couple parents from the team. Or just hang. We'll go trick-or-treat in an hour or so with the group."

"All right, sounds good," I said as I started to mess around with my gloves. I was nervous with all the people around. I didn't know how to interact with other parents. I didn't think they'd believe me.
 

Luke grabbed one of my hands and squeezed it tight. We walked down the hallway, following Janet into the large kitchen lined in white cabinets. He leaned close to my ear and whispered, "Stop freaking out, Sunny." I looked up and smiled. He knew me too well.
 

We mingled for a little while, Luke doing most of the talking. He acted the part as he spoke about Asher and me, pretending that we were his family. The more he spoke, the more I saw a future that could actually work. For a second, I was hopeful, but it frightened me. I didn't want to be hopeful. It would only make the possible hurt that much worse if I was let down.

"Want to go walk around back? I heard there's a pool."
 

I nodded and let Luke drag me through the back door. It was finally quiet and much less stuffy out there.
 

"Thank you," I said to him as he hugged me close. I circled my arms around him and let myself just enjoy his company. He was warm in an otherwise chilly night. The backyard was dark, but the pool lights were on. Little lanterns lined the perimeter of the patio, showing us just how big it was. This place would be awesome in the summer.

"For what?" he asked back.

"Being so awesome back there. I hate talking to people."

"So I've discovered." He looked down at me and held onto my gaze. I saw the desire in his heated glare, and I felt the arousal in my gut. I cut his hold and looked behind us, paranoid that Asher would catch us.
 

I didn't know if Asher had caught onto what was happening between Luke and me. I hoped that he hadn't because if Luke were to leave, I didn't want Asher to know. I didn't want to bring more drama into Ash's life, and a new relationship always brought some sort of chaos.
 

"I'm going to kiss you now."
 

I nodded, and he acted.
 

His lips covered mine. My hands found their way around his waist and up towards the top of his spine. I dragged my nails down his back as his tongue met with mine and swirled within me.
 

I moaned into his mouth, and his hands squeezed my ass. I wanted more. I finally thought that I was ready to move forward. Of course, not right this second, but still. I trusted Luke, and I wanted to let him in fully.
 

"Ahem." Someone cleared her throat from behind us. Immediately, I pulled back and wiped the wetness from my mouth. "We're heading out now," Janet said, her voice full of humor.
 

A hand on my shoulder woke me up. I startled, jumping in my seat and trying to figure out what was happening. It was pitch black, and there was a low rumble in the background. I wiped the back of my hand over my eyes and waited for them to adjust to the darkness.
 

"Did I pass out?" I asked Luke as I saw that we were still in his truck.
 

"You and your guy back there." He pointed back towards Ash. I followed his thumb and saw Asher sprawled out across the entire bench, the seatbelt straining against his slumped-over body. His head rested on his pillowcase of candy, a perfect cushion.
 

"Great," I muttered as I gathered my bag and prepared to grab Asher and carry him upstairs. I opened the door and jumped down, my arms immediately prickling with goose bumps in the cool windy air.

I leaned into the back seat and tried to get Asher free without waking him up. It was only nine, but we had walked for a while, and the excitement of the night got to him. Plus, I was sure he was crashing from his sugar high of all the candy he snuck tonight.
 

"Will you just let me, already?" Luke asked as he placed his hand on the small of my back. I nodded and stepped backwards. "Take the bags for me?" he asked as he held Asher's goodie bag and my purse. I took them from him and waited as he lifted Asher into his arms.
 

I shut the back door as Luke cradled Ash in his arms. I got the door for him as he walked up the front stoop. Finally, Luke deposited Asher in his bed.
 

"I'll meet you downstairs," I told him as I started to get Asher ready for bed. Luke nodded and then left me alone with my guy. His outfit was easy to get rid of. I pulled the jacket off him and untied his black boots. His mask was already gone, the toy gun long discarded.
 

"I love you," I whispered in his ear as I pulled the covers over him, all the way to his chin.

"Do you love Mr. Wilson?"
 

My breath hitched at the question. "What?"

"You kissed him. Do you love him?"

"I don't think so." I tried to answer as honestly as I could.

"Well, I like him. He's my favorite teacher in the whole school. He should be your boyfriend." Asher seemed more awake so I sat down at the edge of his bed.

"That wouldn't upset you?" I asked him.

"Most moms have a husband. But I know a boyfriend turns into a husband, so it has to start like that, right?"

"Yeah, that's how it starts."

"So, he should be your boyfriend."

"I'll think about it," I told him as I stroked his already long hair.

"Love you," he muttered as he turned over in the bed.

"I love you, too."

"You love me the most?" he questioned.

"Of course. You never have to ask that. I will always love you the mostest in the entire world," I promised. He smiled and then shut his eyes. I turned off his bedside table lamp and flicked on the nightlight in the hallway. I shut his door and then walked downstairs, shedding my long gloves along the way.
 

I found Luke in the kitchen, boiling some water on the stove. I stepped behind him and wrapped my arms around his toned waist. He chuckled and turned so we were facing each other.
 

"I can do this," I said, nodding.
 

"Do what exactly?"

"Us. I can handle it. I want to give you all of me."

"Wait a second." He put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back. "What changed? Just today you were looking over your shoulder, nervous about Ash seeing us. I told you I don't mind slowing us down."

"Ash saw us kissing, I guess. He wanted to know if I loved you and if you were my boyfriend. I guess we suck at hiding things."

"He didn't care?" Luke asked.

"No. He said most moms have a dad. Not that I expect you to marry me or anything. God, sorry. That's way too fast," I said, my cheeks heating. I didn't want to completely freak him out. Although he had to know that that was the end game here. I wasn't looking for a one-time fling.

Luke didn't say anything, just took my face between his hands and kissed me passionately. But there was a storm behind his eyes.

For the first time in forever, I looked forward to the rest of my life. I had hope for a full life with a relationship and Asher and a perfectly balanced harmony between the two. I believed in myself.
 

Chapter Thirty-One

Maggie

June:
Can we talk before class?

Maggie
: Are you actually coming?

June
: Please.

Maggie
: Sure. Let me know when.

I was nervous to speak with June because the last time we did, she was reaming me over Luke. I could understand why. She was trying to protect Asher, but she wasn't even listening to what I had to say. She misplaced her relationship with her parents and acted like I was just like them, choosing a relationship over the child.

She hadn't been to class in a long time, and I knew that I was to blame. She was avoiding me well, but I guessed it was time to finally clear the air. I hated drama and it felt like lately, that's all my life brought.

I pulled up to Western thirty minutes before our class started and saw her on the green bench just outside of the doors. I pulled my pack of cigarettes from the side compartment of my backpack.
 

"Hey," I said as I lit up.
 

"Hey." Her head was down, looking at the rain-stained concrete. I sat across from her even though right next to her was clear. I wanted there to be space in case the conversation went south.

"Where have you been?"
 

"I had to get away for a little bit. Listen, I was an asshole to you. It's your life, and as your friend, I should've been supportive instead of putting you down." She looked up at me with tears in her eyes, and my hard exterior shattered.
 

"I was struggling with the same thing," I told her as I exhaled a drag. "I wanted to be happy, but I didn't know how to juggle my life with Asher's. I still don't know."
 

"You're not like my parents, and I shouldn't have projected my fears onto you. Luke's a good guy. You deserve happiness just like Ash does."

"Thanks, June. I'm glad you came back. You're one of my only friends. I would've hated to lose you."

"Ditto, girl." Her posture immediately changed, from slumped over to back straight, from defeated to confident. "So, are you with Luke now?"

"I think so. Ash gave him the nod of approval, so I'm seeing how it goes."

"I definitely am taking credit for that."

"What?"

"I sort of introduced you two."

"Right…" I shook my head at her. "So, where'd you go?"

"I told you I live with my parents, right?" I nodded as I flicked my cigarette off to the side, and exhaled away. "They kicked me out because they found weed in my bedroom. I stayed with a guy I knew from rehab, got wrapped up in some shit, and then came back."

"I want to ask what happened, but I won't. I'm just glad you came back."

"Me too…I really am sorry, for everything. And letting it drag on so long."

"Don't worry about it. I understand where you were coming from."
 

My grandparents lived two hours away in southern Mass. I hated having to go visit them, but it was part of my conditions to keep custody of Asher—once a month visits. Last month was just wonderful, so I figured this time could only improve.

Their mansion was cold and hard, like a classy jail that you couldn't escape. This was my hell and as I knocked on the door, I held my breath, wishing to pass out rather than see them right now.