Following Love (7 page)

“Just like you were at that age?” he asked.

“What has my aunt been telling you?”

“Not a thing.”

“Uh-huh.” She blushed. “Well, actually yeah, by all accounts I was a bit of a handful. But Dillon is special. Today was the first day we've actually been apart for a full day. It was hard, really hard. Thank goodness work was so consuming.”

“Glad we could help, ma'am.”

They smiled and their eyes, hers having avoided his the entire time, met, and a quiet thought passed between them. She opened her mouth to speak but stopped suddenly, her breath caught trapped in her throat. The loneliness she'd felt for so long poured out to him.

She could see that he knew what she wanted without her even speaking. His eyes gazed at her as she reached out and touched his face. The connection was something more than casual. At that moment they both knew that more had passed between them. “Dena, I'm sorry, I can't let this happen.”

She gasped quietly then slowly backed up. “Um, I'd better clean this up,” she said, turning away to the picnic table covered with a bowl of Cheerios and carrots. Her heart beat a mile a minute and the butterflies in her stomach began flying around with jet-propelled engines. How could she so freely expose herself again?

“Dena, let me explain…” he began as he came up behind her. He reached out and touched her arm.

“No, really, there's nothing to explain.”

She grabbed the bowl of Cheerios and carrots and hurried to the back door. Her thoughts whirled dizzyingly. She made it to the kitchen and dropped the bowls in the sink. Leaning over with her eyes closed, she'd been mortified. It was one thing to be sexually turned down by her husband, now she'd been turned down by a near stranger. So Forester was right, she was inadequate. Breathing hard and fast, she was just seconds away from hyperventilating.

“Dena, are you okay?” he asked.

She opened her eyes at hearing his deep voice too close behind her. Still standing at the sink, she didn't move. Julian came up behind her and placed a half-f juice box and a half-f diet soda in the sink beside the bowls. He leaned in closer and loosely wrapped his hand around her waist. “It's me, not you. Dena,” he began, but stopped when she suddenly turned and wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed him with all the feeling and emotion she'd held back for what seemed like a lifetime.

It had been too long for both of them.

He returned her embrace and kissed her with equal fervor and commitment. The seven-month buildup of want and hunger nearly exploded inside him. Blinded by desire, taking her, making love to her, having her, right here, right now, at the sink in the kitchen was all he could see.

Their mouths engulfed the swirl of desire around them. Hot searing kisses continued to her neck, her cheek, her chin, then back to her mouth. Hard and passionate, their mouths met in an explosive relief. He moved forward, pressing his hard body against hers, trapping her against the sink. His hands held, touched and caressed everywhere. She was the spark that had ignited a raging fire.

“Dena,” he whispered before he suckled then kissed the sweet sensitive underside of her earlobe.

“Julian,” she moaned, light-headed by the tender tickling sensation while breathlessly feeling the hardness and evidence of his excitement pressed into her. She molded her body to his, taking everything he offered and feeling filled, desired and wanted for the first time in a long time.

Then he stopped, their bodies held perfectly motionless but still pressed together. Breathing hard, she rested her head against his chest, welcoming the thunderous beat of his heart. “I can't. We need to stop,” he whispered softly, nuzzling his chin to her loose curls.

Rejected and dejected, Dena closed her eyes in pain. Her body slackened in response.

“I want you so much right now,” he muttered then inhaled sharply. “You have no idea.” His body twitched as he sighed. “Right now, this instant, I want you, but we can't. I can't,” he added.

Dena smiled her relief. Of course, what was she thinking? Her son and her aunt were right outside and here she was attacking a man in the kitchen. And not just any man. Julian was her boss, someone she had to see and work with every day. Thank goodness, at least he was thinking.

“Are you okay?” he finally asked.

She nodded. “I know, I want you, too,” she muttered as the fog of desire continued to cover her. “But I…” She stopped, hearing the slam of the back door and small footsteps running toward the basement steps.

“Mo-omm,” Dillon called.

Julian took her hand and backed away slightly. She smiled even as her heart continued to beat wildly and her mouth still tasted of him. She licked her swollen lips. It felt good to have a man desire you again even if it was just a physical attraction. It was still something she'd seldom got with her husband.

Julian turned and walked over to the kitchen window. He looked down at the start of the fire pit below. But his focus was gone. His body still yearned for Dena and she was still too close.

Dillon climbed the back stairs and dumped the open box of Cheerios on the table. It tipped over then fell, sending three or so whole grain snacks scattering across the table. He smiled, happy that he'd joined in with the cleanup. “Thank you, sweetie. I'm gonna walk Mr. Hamilton out. Would you go upstairs and get ready to take your bath? I'll be right up.”

“'Kay,” he said, then turned to tear away but stopped and smiled at Julian. “'Bye,” he said. “We finish later, right?”

Julian turned, his eyes instantly pulled to Dena then to Dillon. “Right,” he confirmed.

With that Dillon disappeared up the back stairs singing the theme song from a construction cartoon show he loved. Dena turned to Julian. “Is this going to be impossible?”

“No.”

“I mean, us working together and…”

“No,” he repeated.

“I have a child…”

“Guess what, I know.”

“I mean, my life is scattered enough already. I know we can't do this. It would be impossible. Working together and…”

Julian moved back to her side and kissed her lips tenderly. “Why don't we see what happens? In the meantime, I need to leave now.”

“Sure.” She nodded and followed as he led the way through the dining room to the living room. “So it was your truck out front.”

“I didn't want to disappoint you so I drove my truck.”

“Thanks,” she said as he held her hand, walking to the front door. “See you later.”

“Tomorrow,” he said, smiling warmly.

“Tomorrow?” she said, momentarily distracted.

“At work,” he added.

“Oh, right, at work, yeah, see you tomorrow.”

He leaned down and kissed her again. Long, loving, insistent and demanding, and filled with passion. Her arms wrapped loosely around his waist and held him close. She could feel the effect their kiss had on his body. He wanted her and, God help her, she wanted him, too. “Goodbye, Dena.”

He stepped outside and walked to his truck. She waited in the doorway until his truck pulled off. As she turned, she was startled to see her aunt standing in the living room right behind her. “Nice,” she offered with a huge, exaggerated smile. “And it's about time.”

“Aunt Ellen, it's not what you think,” Dena protested before her aunt spoke again.

“Somehow, I doubt that.” Ellen smiled again.

“Mo-omm,” Dillon screeched from the upstairs landing in a long exaggerated singsong tone. “I'm ready for my bath now.”

Dena looked to the stairs then to her aunt. “It's not what you think,” she repeated as she hurriedly left the room to help Dillon with his bath.

Ellen smiled. “Thanks, Louise.”

“O
nly when she's ready,” Louise repeated. “Maybe we were wrong, maybe neither one is ready.”

“Believe me she's ready. He's ready. Hell, at this point I'm even ready, but still nothing. It's been seven days since I saw them kiss and I haven't heard a single thing since. Nothing's changed.”

“Are you sure they're right for each other?”

“Positive. I know they'd be good together but for some reason they just won't allow it to happen. They're their own worst enemies. I've never seen anything like it.”

“And you saw them kiss?” Louise asked.

“Passionately. Louise, let me tell you, that kiss nearly rocked my world and I just walked in on the end of it. And I'd bet you good money that certainly wasn't the first time. Not the way he was holding her and she was holding him. They have intimate knowledge.”

“Well, the way you describe, it sounds like they're perfect together. But you're right, something is defiantly standing in the way.”

“I have no idea what it could be. Dena is so lonely. My heart just breaks when I see her just sitting around reading or listening to music or watching television. She should be out there enjoying life.”

“Well, maybe we can come up with something when I visit in a few weeks. Is that barbecue picnic still on?”

“Yes, my new patio should be finished by then.”

“Don't worry, Ellen. I've helped dozens of couples find their way through a muddled mess. I don't intend to lose one now.”

“Thanks, Louise. I'll see you in a few weeks.”

 

Her door was closed and her head was lowered but she knew that she couldn't avoid him much longer. For seven days now she arrived extra early and left extra late. But she knew that she'd have to eventually run into Julian. She was just surprised that it hadn't happened already.

Thankfully he'd been out of the office for the past week and the one time he was in the office she made it a point to personally introduce herself to several of the company's major suppliers. It was the coward's way out, sure, but she was willing to go that route. Of course she knew hiding would only last but for so long.

A knock on her door startled her and she looked up. “Come in,” she said hesitantly.

“Hi, how's it going?”

Recognizing the voice, Dena smiled her relief. “Hi, Jordan. Everything's good so far, thanks again for this opportunity.”

“Don't mention it. You're actually doing us a favor. With Mattie still out and Willamina leaving for maternity leave there was no way we could survive without someone here. I'm just sorry that I haven't been around the past few days to help you out.”

“I pretty much have a handle on the job so far. Are you back in the office now?”

“No, my brothers and I usually have a quick meeting at least once a week to check schedules and review details,” he said, moving farther into the room.

“Sounds like a good idea,” she said.

“And everyone's treating you well?”

“Yes, this is a dream job for me right now, just what I needed.”

“Good,” he said, then glanced at the one picture she had on her desk. “And who's this young man?”

Dena smiled. “That's Dillon, my son.”

Jordan chuckled. “Let me guess, he wants to be a construction worker when he grows up.”

“How'd you know?” she joked.

He chuckled again, eyeing the phone closer. “The hard hat, tool belt, overalls, hammer in his hand and huge smile on his face were a dead giveaway.”

“He'd just turned three when this picture was taken. I purchased a suit and shoes, but he adamantly refused to wear them for the photo. When I insisted, his smile told me it wasn't in his heart. So I relented.”

Jordan laughed openly. “It sounds like he's got your number.”

“He certainly does. But I guess you'd understand and relate since I'm sure you did the same thing.”

“Me, nah, when I was a child I wanted to be an artist. I painted, sculpted and sketched everything in sight.”

“Really, that's interesting,” she said, surprised.

“Oh, yeah. I went to school for architecture and even worked in a top L.A. firm for a few years.”

“Then you just stopped and came here?”

“Yep, we all did. I was an architect, Darius was a New York stock broker and Julian was a doctor in Boston.”

“What? How? Why?”

“Our dad owned a small construction company when we were growing up. He and our mom divorced and he bent over backward to give us everything within his power including our own lives. He got sick suddenly and died. We didn't want to see his dream disappear so we changed careers and took over.”

“Wow, that's so incredibly touching.”

“We never regretted a moment,” Jordan said as he placed the photo back down on the desk. “So how old is Dillon?”

“He's three going on four in a few weeks going on sixteen.”

“Now with that, I can relate.” They chuckled. “How's Mrs. Peyton?”

“Fine, and as long as her favorite television show only comes on Saturday afternoons, I think we're all safe.”

He laughed. “I love her spirit.”

“Me, too. I sometimes wish that I had her steadfast courage. She takes whatever she has and moves on to build something new. That's the spirit.”

“But you have that quality, don't you?”

“Me, no, I wish.”

“You're a widow with a small child and you're moving on with your life. That has to take a tremendous amount of courage and bravery.”

She smiled at his kindness. “Thanks.”

“Don't thank me. You're the amazing one.” They smiled happily. “Okay, enough of this pep talk, time to crack the whip. Get back to work.”

Dena laughed and saluted. “Yes, sir, boss.”

Jordan turned to leave then turned again. “Oh, one more thing. I have some revised plans for your aunt's patio. Would you pick them up and drop them off before you leave tonight?”

“Sure,” she said. “I'll be leaving in a few minutes. I'll stop by and pick them up.”

“Thanks.”

Jordan left Dena smiling. The story he'd told her about their lives was truly touching. She knew that he was the youngest of the three brothers and Darius was the oldest, leaving Julian as the middle child. But that's pretty much all she knew about him. Now she wondered about Julian's past career. He was a doctor in Boston. Did he have a wife there, children of his own? She actually knew little about him.

“Knock, knock.”

Dena looked up, slightly startled, then relaxed when she saw that it was Willamina standing in the open doorway, her protruding stomach taking up most of the open-framed space. “Hi, what's up?” Dena said.

“Oh, nothing. I'm on my way home and just stopped by to check on you. But actually I do have a favor to ask.”

“Sure, what can I do?”

“I wanted to invite Dillon over for dinner this evening then maybe go out for some ice cream. My boys would love to meet a new playmate.”

Dena smiled and brightened instantly. Dillon had both older and younger friends in the neighborhood, of course, but she knew that he would just love meeting children his own age. “That sounds wonderful. Dillon is dying to meet some new friends. Thank you so much.”

“Great. Is it okay if I stop by on my way home?”

“Sure. I'll call my aunt and let her know you're picking him up for the evening. He's going to be so excited.”

“Good, glad to do it. Also I stopped by for another reason. I wanted to make sure everything was all right.”

“Are you kidding, everything's great.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” Dena said. “Why do you ask?”

“You seem to be…” Willamina paused and shrugged. “Oh, I don't know any other way to put this, so here goes. You seem to be hiding out the past few days, maybe even a bit jumpy.”

“No, I'm fine, really. Maybe a bit too much caffeine, but I'm certainly enjoying working here, particularly the adult conversation. After being home with Dillon the last three years, I almost forgot what it was like. But really, I'm fine.”

“Good, just one more thing, go home.”

“Huh?”

“Go home, relax, take a break, get some rest. Whatever works for you, do it. You've been working like a madwoman for the past seven days. You get in early, leave late and take lunch here in your office. You need to let go, fourteen hours of this is too much, and I don't want you burning out on me. I need you at least until I get back from maternity leave or Mattie returns in the next month or so. So I'm kicking you out this evening. Go home and spend some time doing something you want to do. I'll take good care of Dillon and have him back a little after eight.”

Dena sighed, knowing that Willamina was right. She was overdoing it. “Actually that's a good idea. I think I'll do just that.”

“Good, I'll see you later when I drop Dillon off.”

“Thanks again, Willamina.”

She nodded and smiled then mouthed the words,
Go home.

Dena immediately picked up the phone and called her aunt to tell her about Dillon's play date. Afterward she sat a moment longer, thinking. Willamina was right; she was hiding and she was being silly. Hiding from Julian was childish. They had a connection and the attraction was certainly real enough. They were both consenting adults and whether or not anything happened or would happen between them was no one's business but theirs.

She grabbed her purse from the lower drawer, stood and walked out. She was headed to the elevator when she remembered that Jordan wanted her to take plans home with her. She turned and headed toward the executive offices then paused, realizing that Julian might be around this late.

But then she remembered that Jordan mentioned that he and his brother would be in a meeting this evening so running into Julian was remote. Finding her way through maze of offices, she heard voices and immediately recognized Julian. Picking up the new plans on the desk, Dena stopped, stunned by what she'd just overheard.

 

As often as possible, the three Hamilton brothers met after work at least once a week to discuss business-related issues. It was a practice they started shortly after their father died as a way of coming together and consoling each other, now it was a way of life.

Tonight Julian sat in Darius' office waiting for Jordan to get off the phone. They'd already discussed the more immediate issues and now the conversation continued to a more personal nature.

“I can't do this,” Julian insisted.

“You're gonna have to,” Darius said firmly.

“Fine, then you take this quarter and I'll take your next two quarters.”

“No.”

“Darius, seriously, I can't do this.”

Darius looked at his brother, recognizing his angst. “Julian, this ridiculous kick you're on is absurd. No grown man in his right mind would even consider something so insane. Just give it up.”

“You don't get it. For the first time in a long time, I feel calm and in control. No drama, no worries and no women. Now I'm right back where I started. Yeah, I get the occasional phone call from Stephanie or Jessie, but I can ignore them. I can't ignore Dena.”

“Yeah and don't you think that should tell you something? All your angst is over one woman. Why? You come in contact with attractive, interesting women all the time, we have dozens of women walking through here every day and you've never said a word about dismissal. Now this one woman shows up and is affecting you to this extreme, that says something.”

“It says nothing, only that I need her gone.”

“She's affecting you, you said it. Did you ever stop to think why? Stephanie is your ex-wife, she didn't do this to you, neither did Jessie or even Kellie. There's obviously something about Dena that touches you.”

“No,” Julian said, still resisting.

Julian turned his back. Darius was right, but he wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of admitting it. For more than seven months he had successfully avoided any physical interaction with women and he'd had plenty of opportunity, yet he was never even tempted. Now, in the span of about a week, Dena Graham came into his life and had him so worked up that he was seriously reconsidering his vow of celibacy.

They'd kissed a week ago and he'd been avoiding her ever since. She set a fire in him and his was still burning for her. But last night was the final straw. The dream he'd had was too vivid, waking him up in a heated sweat. He wanted her and he was agonizing over it. She was a woman with a child and all the drama of his ex-wife surfaced. He couldn't go through with that again and keeping his distance was getting more and more difficult.