Focus (12 page)

“We had a no-strings sexual relationship at first?” She shook her head. “Sounds like me. Sometimes. I mean, I’m not a slut or anything. But I have had a few one-night stands. But never with somebody like you.” Then she took a deep breath. “So, how would I meet somebody like you? You don’t seem the type who would be picking up women in a bar. But, then again, you never know, right?”

I was uncomfortable, as I prepared to tell her the first lie. “Yes, actually, we did meet in a bar.” That was all I said.

She seemed to accept that. “Okay. So, you and I started out just having sex, and then you asked me to pose as your fiancée. Then what happened?”

I shifted in my seat. I couldn’t tell her about her stay in the mental hospital, either. That was all connected to Nathaniel’s death.

This was going to be extremely difficult.

“Well, I ended up falling in love with you. For real.”

She looked like she didn’t quite believe me. “Really?” She looked around the room. “Again, come clean about this. Did somebody put you up to this?”

“No,” I said. “But there was something else about me that you found out about, and I need to come clean with you about it.”

“Okay,” she said. “Go ahead.”

“My past…I was born in Russia. I lived there until I was 18. When I was younger than 18, I was a part of the Russian Mafia. My father is a Godfather of one of the most powerful syndicates in that country. That isn’t who I am anymore, by any means. I’m a legitimate businessman in this country. But I do have a dangerous past, and the only reason why I haven’t been targeted in this country is because my father is protecting me. Nobody will touch me, because they know that if they do, my father’s syndicate will wipe them out.”

It felt good to get all of that out. I realized that I actually had a chance for a fresh start with her, with no lies about my past coming between us.

She looked startled. “Oh my God. I…don’t know what to say about that.” Then she looked down at her hands again. “What does that mean for you and me?”

“Well, I’ll be honest with you. We broke up over that. You didn’t know that about me, and I was hiding that from you, because, at first, I wasn’t serious about you. Then, after I realized that I was in love with you, I didn’t know how to tell you about it. So, I chose to keep quiet. But I was outed by a woman who recognized me, and I had to tell you the entire truth. I decided to end it, because I wanted to protect you.”

She took a deep breath. “Okay. So, we can’t be together because of your past?”

“Not my past. My present. There are men who would like to get to me. They don’t make a move because of my father. I was afraid that you would start asking questions and these questions would lead you to find out about my actions in Russia. And that could put you into danger, because you can’t know these things. If you did, you would be targeted by the same men who want me dead.” I took a deep breath, and massaged her hand. “But I’ve made a decision, CJ. I would like us to be together. You’re going to have to meet my father for that to happen, though, because he will be the one who will protect you from all dangers.”

She was trying to absorb all of this, but she was having a problem with it. “I’m so sorry, this is a lot for me to take in right now. You and I were together, and then we weren’t together, because you were in the Russian mob. And now you’re saying that you want us to go ahead and be together, and that you can protect me, but only if I meet your father?”

I nodded my head. I didn’t want to go into the whole Russian Orthodox thing that my father has insisted upon. I had hoped that my father had loosened this particular restriction, in light of the fact that I, myself, had given up that religion a long, long time ago. When Anton and my mother died, I decided, then and there, that there was no God. And if there was one, I was very angry with Him, because I prayed and prayed and prayed for my mother to get better. I felt like nobody was listening to me. So, I gave up religion, in general, from that moment on.

She still looked disbelieving. “Bring Scarlett back. I need to talk to her.”

I went out to get Scarlett, and she came in with me.

“Scarlett,” CJ said. “Is this really my boyfriend, here? Or did somebody hire a particularly good-looking actor to come in here and play a joke on me?”

Scarlett took a deep breath. “Well, here’s your answer, right here,” she said, getting out her phone. She typed in the words “Asher Sloane” in her Google, and then showed her the images that popped up for this.

CJ looked at the images, and then looked at me. “Well, okay, you are who you say you are at least. I know now that you’re not an actor.”

I chuckled. “No, not an actor.”

Then she looked at Scarlett. “Okay, so he is Asher Sloane, CEO of Sloane Enterprises. But is he my boyfriend?”

“Yes,” she said, looking at me. “But…”

“I told her about us breaking up,” I said.

She nodded. “Yes, then. He was your boyfriend, and then you guys broke up.”

CJ looked like she was finally believing that she and I were in love. “Boy,” she said softly. “I hit the jackpot there, didn’t I?”

I laughed and kissed her forehead softly.

Then CJ kind of leaned back in the bed. “I really hate to do this to the both of you, but, just out of the blue, I feel exhausted.”

“I understand,” I said to her. “Scarlett, let’s leave for now.”

At that, Scarlett and I left.

B
y the end
of the week,
CJ was given the all-clear from her doctor to be released from the hospital. She had been asking, every day, about her family, but Scarlett and I both avoided the issue. Her doctor wanted to run tests, and give her a complete physical. Only when it was determined that she was strong enough to go home would we be cleared to tell her the truth about all of that.

When CJ was going to be released, however, her doctor took me aside and told me that the time had come for her to know the truth. “It’s time,” he said. “To tell CJ the entire truth about what happened to her younger brother.”

My heart started pounding. How was I going to break that to her? She would be devastated, beyond devastated. She might even go back into seclusion.

“Can we wait?” I asked. Scarlett was in the room with me. “I just don’t want her to relapse. When it happened, she was so devastated that…”

Scarlett nodded. “CJ didn’t leave the house in six months. She was in the mental hospital twice over it.” She took a deep breath. “Now we’re at square one.”

“I understand,” the doctor said to us. “You are naturally concerned that CJ is going to have a problem accepting this. Especially since she somewhat played a role in the child’s death. But, unfortunately, telling her is going to have to be done, sooner, as opposed to later. Her tests show that she is on the road to recovery. She’s physically strong, and there is no damage to her cognition or other vital brain function. Her memory, of course, has been damaged. That might or might not heal itself in time. There is no reason not to tell her at this juncture about her brother.”

I took a deep breath. “The longer we wait, the more it’s going to hurt.”

Dr. Bristow nodded. “Yes. Now, this information is going to have to come from the two of you. It will be easier that way than if I decided to tell her.”

I sighed. That was the one thing that I wanted to keep from her.

How was I going to tell her?

S
carlett
and I were going to have to have a talk
about how to tell CJ about her brother. She was going to need to know everything, of course, about what happened.

“Let me tell her,” Scarlett said. “Right now, you’re more or less a stranger to her. I mean, I know that you’ve been seeing her here every day, and she certainly is warming up to you. But she remembers me. She knows who I am. Let me tell her.”

I nodded. I did see the wisdom in Scarlett breaking the news to CJ, to tell the absolute truth. “Okay. You tell her.”

“I will,” she said in a small voice. “When we get home, I’ll break the news to her.”

That much was decided between the two of us. Which relieved me in a way. I dreaded, absolutely dreaded to tell her about her brother.

Then we went into the room, and prepared CJ for going home with Scarlett.

S
carlett
and I took a limo back to our place. Asher had arranged it. I had to admit that it was weird that I was dating a guy like him. Beyond weird, really. Apparently, I
was
dating him, though.

And I had to admit that attracted was not the word for how I felt about him. Every time he brushed my skin, even lightly, I felt an electricity that I had never felt for anyone before. Pleasure flooded my entire body when I was just near him. I felt embarrassed to be thinking this, though. After all, he was really a stranger. And I was apparently recovering from a reasonably traumatic brain injury. The doctor had given me all the tests that he was supposed to give me, and he informed me that my cognitive function was normal. The only after-effects that I might have would be the fact that two years of my life were literally lost to me.

It could have been worse. I had seen movies where characters recovered from a traumatic brain injury, and they literally had to learn their ABCs again. They didn’t know a dog when they saw one. Or sometimes people would have a traumatic brain injury and not know how to speak. There could have been any number of awful things that I would have gone through if there was a different part of my brain that was injured. So I considered myself lucky.

Asher told me that he would pick me up the next day, and we would go out on a date. That appealed to me, of course. I was anxious to get to know him a bit better. And, more than anxious, I was ashamed to admit, to see him naked. He was incredibly sexy and delicious. Delicious was probably the best word for him. Like I could devour him with my tongue.

I giggled as I realized that this was what I was planning to do. Devour him with my tongue.

“What are you giggling about?” Scarlett asked me.

“Asher. He’s really sexy. I can’t quite believe that he’s into me, but I’m not going to argue, that’s for sure.”

She smiled. “Why wouldn’t he be into you?”

“Oh, come on. Donny was the guy I thought I was with when I woke up. You remember him, don’t you?”

She started to laugh. “Oh, Lord, do I. What a jerk.”

“Yeah. Why did Donny and I break up, by the way?”

“You found out that he was a dyed-in-the-wool racist. He was in a fraternity that refused to admit African-Americans, which was bad enough. Then his entire fraternity had their charter revoked for some racist skits they put on for Greek Week. You found out that Donny not only didn’t disavow the fraternity’s racism, but that he was one of the ones in the racist skit that got the chapter booted. You were done with him after that.”

“Really? Good for me. Yuck, though. Why would I date a guy like that?”

She shrugged. “Young and stupid, I guess. At any rate, Asher is a definite step-up from Donny and all the other losers you dated over the years.”

“I guess. He seems like a great guy, except for his past. But I’m not going to judge him for that, though.”

She nodded her head. “I guess he told you about the Russian mob stuff?”

“Yes, but that seems like it was years ago. He did mention, however, that he wanted me to meet his father. He said that he was serious about me, and that his father would be able to protect me if he and I…got serious. I don’t know, it almost sounded like he wants to marry me. But I doubt that’s true. We weren’t dating for that long, were we?”

“For about six months,” she said. “That’s counting the time that….” Then her hand flew up to her mouth.

“The time that? That what?”

She rapidly shook her head. “Nothing, nothing.”

“What? Tell me.”

“CJ,” she said. “There are some things that you don’t know about.”

Scarlett sounded serious. That concerned me. “What kinds of things?”

“I…” But her voice cut off. Her phone was ringing. “Just a second, CJ, I need to take this call.”

Then she went into the other room. I sat on the couch, wondering what was going on. She was going to tell me something. I wish I knew what it was.

She was rushing out the door. “I’m so sorry, CJ, but I have to go.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

She shook her head. “It’s nothing that you need to worry about. My mother apparently put her back out, and there’s nobody there to help her. My dad’s on a business trip and she can’t get ahold of my sister and brother. I’ll be back, though it might not be tonight. I’m so sorry.”

“Okay,” I said.

She left, and I decided to go ahead and call Asher. He picked up right away. “CJ,” he said. “How are you?”

“I’m fine,” I said.

He seemed to hesitate. “You are?”

“Yes. I would like to see you, if that’s okay.”

“I’ll be there in about a half hour.”

So, I sat in the empty apartment and waited for Asher to arrive.

A
sher finally did
arrive in about a half hour, just like he said he would. I waited for him outside my apartment building, as I didn’t want him to have to bother with finding parking. He smiled as I got into the limo.

My heart suddenly started beating wildly. I was alone with him, truly alone with him. And, apparently he and I had a good sex life. I wondered if we could resume it. Pick up where we left off, so to speak.

“CJ,” he said softly. “We’re finally alone.”

At that, he gently put his hand under my chin and kissed me deeply. I felt my breath catch, and I started to shake. I had been with boys before, but this was a man. A beautiful, masculine, incredibly sexy man. I felt my face flush as he kissed around it softly. His lips returned to my own, softly, gently, yet firmly.

Then he drew back. He looked at my face a bit quizzically. “CJ,” he said. “How did you take the news?”

“The news?” I said. “About what?”

“Scarlett. Did she talk to you about anything important?”

I drew a breath. “No. She was going to say something to me, but her mother put her back out, so she had to leave right away. Her mother has always had problems with that.”

I could see in his face that there was something that was being held back.

I decided that I needed to avoid that for now. Right at that moment, I simply wanted to be with this man.

He looked conflicted, but I put my hand on his thigh. “Asher,” I said. “I have a confession to make.”

He smiled. “What’s that?”

“I find you enormously attractive. I mean, not just because you are so handsome. But also because I feel something when I’m with you. I don’t have any memory of the time that we’re together, of course, but I seem to have the emotions of somebody who has been with a man for several months. It feels like love. I wonder if there is something deep inside of me that remembers you and remembers what it felt like to be with you.”

He seemed almost shy when I said that. “I’m glad that you feel that way,” he said. “It sounds like we might be on the road to getting back to where we were before the accident.”

“I don’t want to think about that accident.” And I didn’t. I understood that the other people in the car were killed. What I didn’t know was why I was in that car. Nobody had ever said anything to me about that. I was apparently in a limo that slid into a jack-knifed semi. It wasn’t Asher’s limo, and I generally wasn’t the type to travel in limos at all. I was always a subway and bus kind of girl, and I rode in taxis when I was flush with cash. But apparently I
was
in a limo when I was in the accident.

Trying to figure that part of the puzzle that my life had become made my head hurt. But that mystery on why I was in a limo paled in comparison to the mystery of what happened to my mother, sister and brother. They didn’t visit me once in the hospital. I wanted to call them, but, for some reason, Scarlett had always told me not to.

But, for now, I wasn’t going to think about that. I simply wanted Asher. I was getting to know him all that week, and, for that entire week, I was thinking very racy thoughts about him. I couldn’t stop myself. I fantasized about him all the time. Maybe it was because I wanted to take my mind off of the more serious things that I somehow knew were lurking in the background.

I could see in his eyes that he was feeling the same about me. He had a very lustful look in those beautiful blue eyes of his. But, yet, it seemed that he was holding back.

“It’s okay,” I said in a low voice. “I know that I just got out of the hospital, but I’m dying to feel you inside of me.” I felt bold just coming right out and saying that to him.

“Oh, believe me, you will,” he said. “But I want to make sure that you’re absolutely comfortable with this.”

“I am,” I said. “Trust me.”

So, he kissed me again. This time, he was more passionate and forceful. I devoured him with my lips and my tongue. “Let’s wait until we get into my place,” he said. “For right now, I just want to kiss you.”

We made out all the way to his place. We parked in the underground garage, and then took the elevator all the way up to the very top floor. “Oh, my God,” I said, looking around his enormous place that was elegantly styled. It looked like he had an interior decorator come in and decorate the place. “This place is gorgeous.”

It was masculine and warm, and had an amazing view of the city. And the place was like a palace, really, it was so large.

He smiled. “I knew that you would marvel at this place again. You always liked being here before.”

“I can see why.”

Then he inched closer to me. “Would you like to have a seat on the couch with me? I can make you a drink before we go out on our date.”

I cocked my head. “Maybe we won’t make it to our date,” I said. “Maybe we can just stay here for awhile.”

He smiled as he poured a drink for the two of us. “Maybe you’re right, CJ Parker.”

“I know I’m right, Asher Sloane.” It felt good to be teasing this man. We had the kind of banter that signified that I felt comfortable with him.

He sat down next to me, and put his hand on my thigh. I felt tingles just having it there. I nodded my head, a silent signal that I wanted him to go further. Needed him to go further. I somehow knew that this was going to be an amazing experience.

When he kissed me again, I felt the butterflies that I didn’t usually experience when I was with a man. I guess it was because I hadn’t really been with a man before – only boys. But Asher was undeniably a man. Undeniably.

“Are you sure that you’re ready for this?” he asked me.

“Oh, God, yes,” I said, feeling the warmth start to spread between my legs. I felt the moisture start to pool there, and I felt like my clit was throbbing, desiring his touch. “I’m more than ready.”

I laid down on his couch, and spread my legs. He tentatively laid down on top of me. I could feel his heart pounding on my chest. It seemed loud in my ears, for some reason.

“I have to admit, that I’ve thought of little else but this ever since I said goodbye to you. I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to have you back with me. Wanting me in this way. Because I’ve always wanted you in the same way.” He put his finger under my chin, and lifted up my face. “I want you to know this. No matter what happens in the future. I never stopped wanting this from you. I never stopped loving you. I hope that you know this.”

He was being so forceful in telling me this that I felt slightly uncomfortable. I guessed that he was concerned that I would get my memories back, and I would remember our breakup. He evidently wanted to reassure me by telling me that, even though we did break up for a few weeks, he never got me out of his mind.

I nodded my head. “Yes, Asher, I’ll remember this. I promise.”

“Good,” he said, and then he kissed me again. Long, slow, passionate. I felt that I couldn’t breathe and that my heart was exploding out of my chest. He was such an amazing kisser. He put all of his being into it. I could feel it. I could sense that from him. I knew, just knew, that he would be the same when we made love.

He put his hand underneath my shirt, and put it on my breast, underneath my bra. I could feel his hard-on poking beneath his pants. He grinded me, and I groaned.

I groaned even more as he deftly brought my pants down, and my panties came off, too, in one fell swoop. His finger danced lightly inside of me, and then he kissed my stomach and made his way down between my legs. I felt my legs shaking with excitement, as I anticipated the gentle and sensuous sensation of his tongue licking my pussy area.

Nothing could prepare me, though, for how skillful he was at this. I had never experienced a guy who knew what he was doing in that area, but Asher definitely had command of it. I bucked up on the couch with pleasure as he continued to gently lick, caress and bite the folds of my pussy. His tongue darted in and out, and his fingers were playing with my ass. They were gently massaging it, and one finger went inside, and I suddenly burst. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before.

“Keep on doing that, “ I said to him. “That feels absolutely fucking amazing. Please, Asher, please keep on doing that to me.”

He did as he was told, for several minutes. His tongue was gentle, yet commanding. Forceful yet sensuous and slow. He explored my clit with his tongue, and then made his way to my back end, and his tongue was inside of me there as well.

I had no idea that this could feel this good. One thing was for sure, Asher was a confident guy. I knew that he would be just as confident when the time would come for him to put his rather enormous manhood inside me. I could still feel it poking through his pants, because he hadn’t yet brought his pants down. In fact, he was still fully clothed. I was partially clothed myself, as my top was still on.

But my top wasn’t on much longer. Asher, having thoroughly sated me through the use of his tongue, was ready to lick the rest of my body just as thoroughly. He started with my breasts, and he raised my top over my head and unhooked my bra from the front. I groaned as he gently licked and caressed one breast and then the other. He pinched my nipple, and started to lick and suck on my neck.

Then he was kissing my face and my mouth, and I was sure that I was going to orgasm right then and there. Again. I raised my hips, dying for him to come in between my legs and give me what I was asking for.

“Asher,” I said, tugging on his pants. “Take these off. I need to feel you inside of me. I need this more than anything in my entire life. Please, Asher. Please let me feel you inside of me.”

At that, he unbuckled his pants, and brought them down with his underwear. I gasped as I saw his manhood, in all its glory. It was enormous, and I knew that he was going to fill me up more than anybody ever had before.

He laid down on top of me, and I was so ready for him, I could barely contain myself. He sheathed his cock, and then slowly and rhythmically put it inside of me, inch by glorious inch, and I couldn’t help myself at all. I completely burst, and I cried out his name. “Asher, oh my God, that feels amazing. I’ve never had anybody make me feel like this before. Not even close.”

That was the difference, though, between this man, this solid hunk of man, and the boys I was with before. He knew what he was doing, and he knew just how to make me come.

I started to writhe and shake, and he continued with his slow and gentle rocking. I pushed him onto his back and got on top of him, and I did my own rocking. He sat up to meet me, and kissed me while I rode him hard.

We were like this for a long time, with me just enjoying the feeling that I got with his enormous cock filling me up time and again.

Finally, with a groan, he signaled his orgasm. By this time, I was thoroughly and completely sated. I didn’t think that I could have felt more alive than I did at that moment.

He kissed me gently on the lips, and I knew that I was gone. I was his. I belonged to him.

And I never wanted to let go.