Flawed (18 page)

“Close the door,” Woody said. “It’s cold enough in here.”

The door slammed shut without much effort on Ellyssa’s part, the blustery weather’s way of lending a helping hand. For a moment, she stood unmoving, the cold knob in her hand. Words fumbled around in her brain. She knew what she wanted to say but was not sure how to say it. Ellyssa wanted him to know how much he meant to her for all the things he did, for the things they shared. Since they’d blown The Center into a skeleton of its former self, things had spun into their future so fast, leading them to this point of time.

Most of all, though, Ellyssa wanted to know what was up with his mood swings, something she’d thought about over the last couple of days. If what she kind of thought was true, the air needed to be cleared between the two of them.

She owed him that much.

Ellyssa loved Woody. Not the same way she loved Rein—of course she could distinguish the difference—but she loved him nevertheless. Funny how, just a few months ago, sitting in her sterile room of her old home, the thought of love or friendship, or family for that matter, had never crossed Ellyssa’s mind. Her joys and sorrows she had carefully filed away into a box, never to be exposed. Now, Ellyssa stood in a cold barn, hiding in Missouri, preparing to launch another expedition into an unforeseen future with hope of finding missing friends alive, as the feelings she’d denied so long curled and writhed and heated inside her.

“So, did you leave the warmth of the house to stand in the cold?” Woody asked, his voice holding the same irritation she’d heard in the dilapidated old store where she’d taken refuge after she’d escaped, what seemed a lifetime ago.

Taking a deep breath, she looked at Woody’s back as he wiggled a box with a red cross marked on the side free from the shelf. Ellyssa lowered her head as she moved to the middle of the floor. “Woody, may I have a word with you?”

He paused for a moment, careful to avoid eye contact with her. After a second longer, he lugged the box over to a table and opened it without saying a word.

Life would have been so much easier if Ellyssa had just swung her gate open to Woody’s thoughts. At the very least, she would be certain what he was thinking, instead of playing a guessing game that she really didn’t excel at.

A thank-you seemed to be the best way to start. “I’ve never really had a chance to offer you a proper thank you.”

This time, when he stopped, his grey eyes met hers. Woody’s eyebrows dipped over the bridge of his nose. “For what?”

“For helping me. With everything. For Rein. If not for your insistence on coming with me, he wouldn’t be with us today.” She swallowed a lump that’d formed after the words came out. “I would have failed alone. You risked your life and saved all of us.”

“No need to thank me, Ellyssa. He would’ve done the same for me…as I’m sure you would’ve, too.”

Ellyssa took a step forward. “Without a second thought.”

A brief smile tugged at the corner of Woody’s lips. “That’s what we do for each other,” he said, before he averted his gaze back to the box. “Was that all?”

Ellyssa watched as he pulled out a small plastic container filled with bandages, antiseptic cream, lip balm and other first-aid supplies. The group already had ten stored away, along with boxes of MREs, tents and sleeping bags, and other goods, in the white van parked behind a copse of evergreens. It was another vehicle Tim had used for emergency transportation of Renegades, and had given to them for their trek into Texas. For precaution, Tim had replaced the plate with numbers untraceable back to him and Sarah.

“No.”

Still not looking at Ellyssa, Woody paused again for a moment before he started to rifle around in the box as if searching for something. “Then what?” he snipped. “Why else are you here?”

She was a little hurt at the way he sounded, and mad because she was pretty sure he knew why but was going to make it difficult on her. “This is why,” Ellyssa blurted. “You. Why do you act like we’re friends one moment, then like you’re trying to avoid me the next? A minute ago, you smiled at me; now you won’t even look at me.” She waved her hand at the box. “We don’t need any more medical supplies. You just came out here to avoid me, and don’t think I don’t know it, either.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She went around the table and stood next to him. “Yes, you do.”

Sighing, Woody gave up the pretense of looking for something. “It’s my problem, Ellyssa,” he said. “Don’t worry about it.”

Part of Ellyssa wanted to just let it go, but she had to know. She exhaled, her chest deflating with the release. “I don’t want you to hate me,” she whispered.

Woody’s head whipped up, his face bewildered. “I don’t hate you.”

“I don’t understand, then. All your actions are so confusing, but the one I can definitely comprehend is that you don’t really care for me. Maybe for my sake, or for Rein’s, you act like you like me because we’re all in this together. It’s the only solution as to why you smile at me one second and then refuse to acknowledge my presence the next. I might not be a master of emotion or body language, but I’m far from stupid.” Bottom lip quivering, Ellyssa turned away. She couldn’t stand the thought of him feeling sorry for her.

Unbelievably, Woody laughed. Full and hearty, the sound filled the air around her. Here she was, exposing herself to him, exposing her fear, and he found humor in it. Her lip stopped trembling as embarrassment slithered under her skin, heating her cheeks. Anger followed close behind.

“Just forget it,” Ellyssa snapped and started for the door.

The laughter died as abruptly as it had started. “No, don’t.” Woody caught her by the upper arm.

Briefly, she entertained the thought of knocking his hand away. Maybe twisting his arm behind his back, incapacitating him. Of course, she wouldn’t. That was an instant reaction of her old self. But her old self was still a major part of her. After eighteen years of living and breathing under certain conditions, she couldn’t help the times when she felt uncomfortable or insecure or angry for those types of thoughts to emerge. Instead, Ellyssa shrugged out from under his hold.

“It’s fine, Woody.” She started for the door again.

“Ellyssa, stop,” he said, coming behind her. “I listened to you. Would you please give me the same courtesy?”

Against every instinct, old and new, she did as Woody requested but refused to look at him, to even turn in his direction. “What?”

“Do you remember back in the cave, before the whole thing with Rein getting captured, when I told you that I liked you?”

She did remember. He had looked at her all weird then, too. He also had made her feel all weird.

“My feelings haven’t changed.”

Tentatively, Ellyssa faced him, her gaze lifting to meet his grey eyes. Woody’s lips were slightly curled down, as were the corner of his eyelids. Shadows angled under his cheekbones, and his straight nose twitched as if he needed to sneeze. The back of his jaw clenched and unclenched, not in anger, but indecision.

“I really don’t understand.”

He stepped forward, his hand brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. He was close, his full lips mere centimeters from Ellyssa’s. The back of his fingers lingered against her cheek. Foreign tingles, like what Rein left behind but not quite, trailed from his touch. She remembered the feeling from the last time he’d touched her, back when he had told her he’d liked her.

“I know you don’t,” Woody said, his voice low and husky, his eyes blazing like Rein’s when he was about to kiss her. “In some ways, you are so innocent.”

His breath washed over her, and she inhaled his unique male scent that teased her senses. Her heart accelerated; blood pulsed through her veins. Suddenly, Ellyssa didn’t feel the cold anymore. Confused, she stepped back, breaking the contact.

Woody slowly lowered his hand. “I like you, Ellyssa. As I told you before, I like you a lot. More than I should.”

“More than a friend?” she asked, although now she finally understood.

“A lot more. I—I love you. Ever since that night after Jordan died, I knew. I’d even say before then.” He lifted his hand, like he wanted to touch her again, but he stopped. Instead, he pulled his fingers through his hair and turned around. “Rein is my best friend. My brother. I would never do anything to hurt him.”

She shook her head, trying to quiet the mounting discombobulated thoughts. “I love Rein.” Ellyssa’s voice didn’t sound as convincing as she wanted. “I really do love Rein,” she restated, stronger.

He spoke with his back to her. “I know you do. So, please understand when I seem standoffish, it has nothing to do with you. It’s me trying to cope the best way that I can.”

Even though Woody couldn’t see her, Ellyssa nodded her understanding. He was jealous. “I think I should go.”

“Please don’t say anything to Rein.”

“I think it’s best that I don’t.” She paused for a moment, unsure of what else to say.

Shoulders sagging under the weight of his confession, Woody didn’t move. Not knowing what else to do, Ellyssa opened the door and sprinted across the yard back into the kitchen.

Luckily, the room stood empty. Everyone was off doing their own things, none the wiser. She leaned against the door, tears threatening to spill over her cheeks. Not because of what Woody had admitted, but because she liked the feel of his hand on her cheek. Because she couldn’t understand
why
she had liked it.

Her love for Rein was undeniable, incontestable, no question about it.

So, why did she feel as if she’d betrayed him?

Running a brush through her hair, Ellyssa sat between Rein’s legs on the edge of the bed they’d been sharing since the first night. The usual effect of the brush did little to calm her nerves that were coiled in anticipation, Woody’s revelation nothing more than a distant memory she’d filed away for the time being.

They were leaving tomorrow. The thought filled Ellyssa with excitement, sadness, and dread. Every day that passed diminished the possibility of survivors. Camps were not known for their compassion, especially with what little information Dyllon had provided. Amarufoss was under the control of a Commandant named Hans Baer, a male not well renowned for his hospitality.

“Relax,” Rein said, followed by distracting kisses on the back of her ear, his fingers running down the curve of her neck. Shivers accompanied his soft caresses. She leaned against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her.

“If you keep that up,” Ellyssa whispered, “breakfast will get cold.”

Rein slipped around to her side, lowered her on to her back and lay next to her. His hand slipped under her shirt, his warm palm lying against her stomach; he leaned over and kissed her.

“Would that be so bad?” he breathed.

His scent jumbled any coherent thoughts she might have had; her breath hitched in her chest. “I—I—” was all she could manage. Ellyssa licked her lips, tasting him.

Knowing perfectly well the power he held over Ellyssa, Rein’s delicious lips curled upward as the jade eyes sparkled, mischievously. He leaned over and tantalized the sensitive spot within the groove of her collarbone with light kisses. His nose traveled along her neck to her ear, where his teeth gently teased her lobe. He trailed along her jawline and ended back where he’d started, his lips against hers.

Tingly current from his touch pulsed through Ellyssa’s veins, fed by the pounding of her heart. She reached behind his neck and, moaning, crushed her mouth against his. She pulled back long enough to tell him how much she loved him before her mouth moved against his again.

He broke free, his lips trailing down her neck, his tongue flicking against her skin. “I love you, too,” Rein mumbled before his teeth nipped her.

Her chest fluttering, she moaned softly. He was driving her crazy.

Ellyssa tugged at the back of his shirt and pulled it over Rein’s head. She stopped for a moment, mesmerized by the muscles lining his chest and the bulge of his biceps. She touched the indentation below his ribcage and ran the tips of her fingers across his stomach.

“You’re beautiful,” she said, looking into his eyes. “I love you so much, Rein.”

He smiled. “Words cannot even begin to describe how I feel for you.”

“You promise, no matter what happens, that you will always stay by my side?”

A slight frown pulled his eyebrows together. “I promised you that a long time ago.”

“I know. I just wanted to hear it again.”

Rein lifted her hand and kissed the tip of each of her fingers. “I’m not going anywhere, and that is a promise.”

Ellyssa smiled just as Trista’s voice boomed into the room. “What the heck, guys? We’re starving out here. Would you stop the smooching and come eat?” There was a small pause as footsteps clicked down the hall followed by her voice. “Good God. Come on.”

“I guess that’s our signal,” Rein said, pushing himself off the bed. He took Ellyssa’s hand and pulled her into his arms. “You ready?”

Looking in the mirror, Ellyssa sighed. Her hair was disheveled all over again, as if she’d just crawled out of bed. “Let me finish brushing my hair.”

Her gaze flicked to Rein. His brown hair was just as bad. One side lay smashed to the side of his head, while the other stuck out, as if he’d poked his finger in a socket. She giggled.

An exaggerated frown surfaced before disappearing inside the black T-shirt she’d recently freed him from. “What’s so funny?” he said as his head popped through the neck hole.

“Maybe you should think about doing something with that incriminating evidence,” she said, pointing at his hair.

He pulled his fingers, once, twice, through his hair and presto, a perfect array of spikes. “There,” he said. “Better?” He poked one of the spikes. “I really need a haircut.”

Males had it so easy. “Still better than mine.”

He beamed and that spark lit his eyes again. “Let’s go.”

“I need a couple more minutes. You go ahead before the food police comes back.”

He kissed the tip of her nose. “Okay. Hurry.”

“I will.”

As soon as Rein departed, Ellyssa’s nerves twisted into tight wires.