Flawed (11 page)

The sunny kitchen buzzed with activity. Her grey hair pulled into a tight bun, Sarah wore a plaid blue dress and was performing baking magic at the oven. She pulled out a hot pan of biscuits.

Still wearing overalls, Tim was hunched over a map, pulling on his beard thoughtfully. He looked up when they entered and beckoned to Rein. Woody was wearing the same black shirt and camo pants as Ellyssa and Rein, his ash-blond hair combed away from his face. He turned with a stack of plates in his hand and smiled when he noticed Ellyssa. Then, slowly, the grin fell as his eyes flicked to their hands.

Completely confused, Ellyssa stared back at him until he looked away and set the plates on the table. He placed one in front of every chair, not making eye contact with her.

Ellyssa’s frown deepened as she watched Woody. She couldn’t figure him out. Once in awhile, he acted like her pillar of strength; other times, he would give her weird looks and act like he was now—standoffish.

Didn’t he know his friendship meant as much to her as Rein’s love? Ever since the day Jordan had passed away, Woody had been there for her, understanding her when she hadn’t even understood herself.

And if not for his help, Ellyssa’s mission to save Rein would not have ended in success. She could never thank him enough. Maybe that was the problem; Woody didn’t understand how grateful she was and how much he meant to her. She made a mental note to tell him the next time they were alone.

As Ellyssa took a seat next to Rein to listen in on the discussion he was having with Tim, Trista bounced in, exuberant as ever, as if all that’d transpired hadn’t happened. Her braided blonde hair flipped with each step. She wore a purple knit sweater and blue jeans that hugged her shape and long legs.

Ellyssa looked at her drab black shirt. Never in her life had she been permitted to wear regular clothes. At The Center, they had worn white. When she had escaped, she had worn worker attire. And even now, she still wore a uniform of a black T and camos.

“Good morning,” Trista said as she took a seat next to Woody.

“Where’d you get the clothes?” Ellyssa asked.

“Dyllon brought them to me.” Her nose curled, looking cute, when she mentioned his name.

“I need to speak to you about him,” said Rein.

Like a switch was flipped, in an instant all the cheerfulness melted right off Trista’s face as her eyes cut over to Rein. “There is nothing to discuss. I’ve made myself perfectly clear.”

Rein ignored her. “Woody and I discussed the…relationship you two seem to have developed.”

“Which is none of your business.”

Woody held his hand up at Rein. “Look,” he said, diplomatically, “I know he has done a lot for you…for us. And we are grateful that he saved your life, but you have to admit, he has been trained differently than all the other defectors that we’d brought in. We’ve never had anyone with his background before. What if he changes his mind when push comes to shove?”

“Plus, with what happened, how do you expect me to trust him?” Rein asked, his tone calm, trying for Woody’s approach.

It didn’t work. Fury pinched Trista’s face, and she sat there for a moment, speechless, eyes turning to ice.

Ellyssa had never seen Trista so angry, and that included last night. The same grey cloud of tension rolled into the kitchen again.

“The same way you trusted
her
,” Trista snapped, an accusatory finger pointing at Ellyssa.

Like Trista had slapped her, Ellyssa recoiled. That was the second time Trista had alluded to her. Ellyssa sat shocked for a moment. Apparently, trust was something Trista wanted but yet still questioned. Without a second thought, Ellyssa shifted her wall to block the unwelcome buzzing and opened the door to Trista’s thoughts, and then understood.

Trista blamed Ellyssa. Blamed her for their discovery, for her family being murdered, blamed her for everything. The lump of guilt stirred and reared its ugly head.

The blonde met Ellyssa’s eyes. Comprehension flicked across Trista’s face, followed by horror. She knew.

“Look, I—I’m sorry.”

“No need,” Ellyssa muttered.

Rein’s gaze slid between her and Trista. “What?”

Ellyssa shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”

Even with everyone around her, all eyes cast toward her, Ellyssa felt alone. Nothing more than a replay of when Jason had attacked her. Then, just like now, Ellyssa was the outsider. After all, Ellyssa was from the breed meant to destroy them. Why should any of them trust her? Ellyssa’s sins exceeded Dyllon’s.

Not only that, but Trista’s sentiments matched her own. Regardless of what Rein or Woody said, it was Ellyssa who had brought death to the old coal mine the moment Rein had decided to save her life.

Hurt swelled in Ellyssa, and tears pricked her eyes. She couldn’t take any more. The onslaught of emotions, the slithering guilt she couldn’t shake, the love she felt for Rein, the sorrow, the confusion. Too much. She blanked, shoving away the swirling sensations, her soldiering instincts sliding into place. Comfortable skin.

“What is it?” Rein asked, his eyebrow dipping down in concern.

Ellyssa started to stand. “Nothing. If you will excuse me, please.” She could hear the familiar monotonous tone in her voice, but she didn’t care.

“No.” Trista shot up and rushed around the table. “I don’t really feel that way.”

Ellyssa knew that was a lie. “You do not have to explain yourself.”

“What did you do, Trista? What were you thinking?” asked Woody, apparently understanding that unspoken words had been exchanged.

Catching on, Rein pulled himself to his feet and wrapped a protective arm around Ellyssa.

His touch felt strange to her, foreign, and she felt herself go rigid. Part of her wanted to shrug his arm off, but deep inside the part she shoved down fought to break free. Despite her sloughing of the turmoil raging inside her, the one thing she didn’t want to lose was the way Rein had elicited awareness in her, like he’d woken her from a deep sleep. Ellyssa struggled between keeping her guard up and letting the hurt consume her. She definitely knew she didn’t want a repeat of last night, when she’d broken down.

“How could you?” Rein asked, directing his question toward Trista.

Ignoring them both, Trista reached down and wrapped her fingers around Ellyssa’s. Ellyssa yanked her hand away.

For a moment, Trista stared at her empty hand before she spoke. “No, I do need to explain. I don’t blame you. I swear I don’t. It was just the heat of the moment. I just…” She sighed. “I just don’t understand. You were born and raised at The Center. You were bred to be superior to all of us, a soldier to destroy us, and they’re giving me a hard time about Dyllon. Despite what he did in the past, he’s been helping us.”

Trista’s blue eyes begged for understanding. “Just like you are now. Read my mind now. You’ll see. I don’t blame you.”

“No. I should not have pried to begin with.”

“Please.”

Ellyssa didn’t know if it was the desperation in Trista’s voice, or how strange Rein’s touch had felt, which she didn’t like, but her resolve slipped. The soldiering half of her would always be part of her, but not as armor whenever she felt overwhelmed. This new self was her true self. It had lain in wait to break free for years, responding to Jeremy when he’d been dragged in by the
Gestapo
back at The Center. Jordan had thought Jeremy reached out to Ellyssa because he could see through the thick barrier and into her soul. She’d believed Jordan to be right. There
was
more to her.

Ellyssa could understand why Trista felt the way she did. It wasn’t fair. Dyllon had saved her life, and Trista felt a strong bond with him, not much different than the bond Ellyssa shared with Rein.

Of course, the strike Dyllon had against him was his involvement with the
Kripo
, Detective Angela Petersen, which had led to Rein’s capture and ultimately his torture. The captain would definitely have to prove himself to Rein and Woody.

The devastation on Trista’s face spoke volumes. She truly was sorry for what she’d thought, and Ellyssa had had no right to poke in her head. Dismissing her instinct to shut down, Ellyssa shed the pain, controlled the whirlwind of emotions.

“I’m not going to read your mind. I believe you.”

Relief bled through the desperation as air rushed from Trista’s lungs. She looked hopefully at Ellyssa.

“You read his mind, too. Tell them that he isn’t going to betray us.”

This time, Ellyssa reached down and took Trista’s hand. “From what I read last night, he isn’t. No betrayal, and no regret for the choices he made. He is completely devoted to you.” A smug look climbed across Trista’s face. She started to turn around to gloat at Rein and Woody, but Ellyssa stopped her. “But Woody is right,” she continued. “He might not be planning anything now, but that doesn’t mean he can’t in the future.”

Rein crossed his arms. “My sentiments exactly.”

“Shut up, Rein,” Trista said, whipping around, red glowing on her cheeks. “You’re the one who started all of this.”

“I have a better idea,” Sarah said, dropping the pan of biscuits on the table. “All of you shut up.” The corners of Sarah’s mouth dipped in disapproval, deepening her wrinkles. Everyone, including her husband, stared at her, stunned into silence. “All of you should be ashamed of yourselves. How can you expect to work together when all you do is bicker? You can’t act like this. Don’t you young fools know the easiest way to be defeated is from within? Not just from within a group, but within yourselves.

“You hadn’t seen each other for close to three weeks or so; Woody and Ellyssa brought Rein back, Trista’s alive, and this is what you do. This is a time to celebrate, not fight. And that is exactly what we are going to do.

“There will be no more of this squabbling. Rein and Woody, you will give Dyllon a chance to prove himself. I know with what had happened it’ll be hard, and you haven’t been with him for as long as we have, but I believe he is a good man.” She grabbed a plate of bacon and a bowl of eggs and placed them on the table.

“Now, you and you and you,” Sarah said, pointing at Rein, Woody and Ellyssa, “dig in. You look like skeletons. And you”—her finger singled out Tim—“put that map away. There’s plenty of time for that after breakfast.”

Tim grumbled something about “Mrs. Bossy” but folded up the map before Ellyssa had a chance to see what he’d been showing Rein before the disagreement.

Proud of herself, Sarah planted her hands on her hips. “Well, what’re you waiting for? Get to eating.”

Everyone responded at once.

Ellyssa spooned German potatoes onto her plate along with bacon, a hefty helping of eggs, and two biscuits. The rest of the food disappeared off the table in moments.

Sarah looked pleased at the enthusiasm in which the food she’d made disappeared, even with the awkward silence that lingered over the table. As time passed, though, tongues loosened. The sunshine ambience broke through the cloud.

Ellyssa smiled. She was sharing a meal with friends and the man she loved. When she thought about it, and not counting the community dinners or the sterility and lack of conversation during The Center’s meals, this was the first true family-style get-together she’d ever experienced. It reminded her of an American painting her father had once show her. “Freedom from Want, they called this,” he’d said in a mocking tone. Ellyssa had never understood why she’d felt drawn to it—until that moment.

Enjoying the moment, Ellyssa observed everyone else. Rein and Tim were huddled over the map that had miraculously reappeared back on the table, folded into eighths. Trista laughed at something Sarah had said. Then her gaze met Woody’s. She didn’t know how long he’d been watching her, but his grey eyes examined her like she was an experiment.

Cocking an eyebrow, Woody popped a piece of bacon in his mouth. The right corner of his lips curled into a lopsided smile.

Ellyssa wondered what that meant.

Just a few minutes ago, before the big blowout, Woody had been aloof, refusing to look at her, and now he was watching her again. Once in a while, his mood swings seemed to slough and re-form faster than Trista’s.

As Woody smile grew, defining his cheekbones, Ellyssa had a huge urge to slide inside his head and see what gears were turning. He closed his eyes slowly, then opened them, cat-like, the grey hiding unknown meaning.

He was an enigma.

Narrowing her eyelids, Ellyssa struggled with the wrongdoing of just taking a peek. Doing so would put a lot of unanswered questions to rest. Then again, with what had just happened with Trista… Before she had a chance to weigh the consequences, Trista’s voice interrupted her thoughts.

“Ellyssa,” Trista said. “I bet Dyllon brought something that would fit you.”

“What? Really?” asked Ellyssa.

Trista nodded. “There’s a blue cardigan hanging in my closet. It’ll make your eyes go BAM.”

“Bam?” The word felt strange on her tongue. Ellyssa couldn’t help but smile. This was the Trista she’d grown to appreciate.

“Yeah.” Trista nodded. “BAM. You’ll see what I mean.”

For rest of the meal, everyone seemed to have pushed away the problems that loomed ahead, like an ominous shadow lurking in the corner. Ellyssa watched the easy exchanges within the small group—the playfulness, the teasing, how they interacted with each other. It was beautiful, and different, and the perfect way to spend her first family-style meal. All these years, she’d missed out on so much, all because of her father’s sick desires.

The thought pulled at her heart because the carefree moment wouldn’t last long. It couldn’t, in spite of Sarah’s words.

Her father and siblings might be dead, The Center destroyed, but other members of
their
family were still gone, their whereabouts unknown.

Ellyssa would find them.

Ellyssa looked through the window and watched Trista and Sarah with their coats bundled tight around their necks slip into the garage to grab supplies. Nothing they needed her help with.

Behind Ellyssa, Tim had the map spread across the table again. For the last several minutes, he’d been discussing the locations of each of the concentration camps with Rein and Woody. She already knew where the camps were located; the problem was she hadn’t a clue where to even begin looking.