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I would like to dedicate this book to my grandparents. They were two of the most wonderful people I have ever had the privilege of knowing. My whole life they were always my biggest supporters. Without their influence, love and support I wouldn’t be who I am today. For that I will always be grateful. I miss you both every day.
Six Years ago
I
HAVE
been sitting around in my bedroom for most of the day. The local radio station is giving away concert tickets and backstage passes for the band Breaking Benjamin. You have to be the tenth caller. My boyfriend, Kyle, loves this band. He would be thrilled if I won these tickets. The concert is in Miami three weeks from now. As luck would have it, we are set to leave in two weeks for Miami. Kyle and I are going to be living together while we go to college. We want to get settled in our new apartment before we start our first year at the University of Miami, so we are going about a month early. It was perfect. Now, all I had to do was win the damn things. I had a cell phone and landline, using both to call. So far, I have been every caller number but ten.
We have known each other since we were toddlers. Since I was very young, I have known that I loved him. I just never said anything to him. I was always afraid he didn’t feel the same for me. When we were in ninth grade, he told me he had always felt the same way. We have been a couple ever since. I know we are still young, but there is no doubt in my heart that he is my soul mate. We plan on getting married someday. He is the only guy I have ever dated, but I couldn’t imagine wanting anyone else.
“Be our tenth caller now to win a pair of tickets and back stage passes to see Breaking Benjamin,” the DJ said over the radio.
I picked up the phones and hit redial. Busy signals. I continued to hang up and redial. I really wanted to win this. Unfortunately, it didn’t look like I was going to make it this time, either. They had to have gotten the tenth caller by now. I tried one more time, just in case. I hit redial on both phones, again. A busy signal sounded through the landline right away, so I hung it up. I still had my cell phone to my ear and, this time, the call was going through. After four rings, someone finally answered the phone. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest.
Please let me win. Please let me win.
I took a deep breath and waited for the person on the other end to speak.
“You are caller number ten! What’s your name?” I recognized the voice of the DJ I had been listening to all day.
“Amber,” I said with a shaky voice. I had won! Kyle wasn’t going to believe this.
“Well, Amber, you just won tickets and passes for Breaking Benjamin. Hang on the line and we will get your information.”
I waited on hold for a minute or so before another voice came on the line. They took down my name and phone number, telling me I could pick up my tickets any time from the radio station. I decided I was going now to get them. I changed my clothes and headed out to my car, a brand new Camaro SS. I have always loved muscle cars and this was the ultimate one, a graduation gift from my grandparents. I got in, cranked her up, and headed to the radio station.
After I got the tickets and passes from the radio station, I was so anxious to see the look on his face, I decided to go straight to Kyle’s. As I was driving to his house, my phone beeped saying I had a text. When I stopped at a red light, I looked at my phone.
Kyle:
Just got home from band practice. Gonna take a shower. Call ya later. Luv ya.
I didn’t have a chance to text back because the light turned green. I would be at his house in a couple minutes anyway, I’ll just surprise him when he gets out of the shower. As I drove along, my mind was starting to drift. I kept picturing Kyle’s perfect body, all wet from the shower. Lucky damn water. He is absolute perfection from head to toe: six-foot-three with the perfect amount of muscles in all the right areas, and dark brown hair that is the perfect mix of rocker and boy next door. It isn’t very long, but it always looks disheveled. Kind of like he just rolled out of bed. And, the best part...his eyes. He has the most beautiful cobalt blue eyes. I could gaze into them for hours. Suddenly, I knew exactly what I wanted him to do in order to thank me for the tickets.
I pulled into his driveway and parked my car. His parents were out of town this weekend, so we would have the whole house to ourselves. The front door was unlocked. No surprise there. This is a very small town, no one really worries about locking doors. I walked into the house. I could hear the shower running as I walked toward the hallway.
Should I slip into the shower with him? Or, should I get naked and wait in his bed?
I decided to wait in his bed.
When I opened the door to his bedroom, my heart shattered. Nora Lawson was laying there wearing nothing but a shit eating grin on her face. Fucking bitch! I wanted to puke, scream, and cry. I just couldn’t decide which to do first. I heard the shower turn off and I ran out of the house, dropping the tickets to floor as I went. There was no way in hell I could face him. It was bad enough that she had seen my devastation.
When I got home, I asked my grandparents to tell Kyle I wasn’t feeling well if he called or came over. Once I got to my room, I locked my door and fell to the bed. My heart felt like it was actually breaking. I have never hurt so badly in my life, nor cried so hard. I can’t believe he betrayed me like that. With Nora, of all people. Eventually, I cried myself to sleep.
I spent the next day and a half crying and avoiding Kyle. I didn’t want to see him. I was too hurt and upset. He couldn’t say anything that would make me feel any better. He cheated on me. There was no excuse for it. It was obvious I wasn’t enough for him. I couldn’t bear to hear him say it to my face. Why would he make all of these plans with me if he wanted someone else? I had to have missed the signs. I had my head too far up my ass because I was so in love. What the fuck do I know about love? Obviously, nothing. I do know that I will never put myself through this kind of pain again. I had to get away from here. Away from him.