L
AUREN AWOKE SLOWLY, pale eyes fluttering against the stripe of early morning sunlight that was managing to sneak through the curtains while the rest of the room was still bathed in the blue, ethereal light of pre-dawn. If the sun was up at all, it was later that Lauren usually woke up. Something was different this morning. And it took her still-hazy brain a long moment to solidly register what that was. No headache for the first time in four days. Thank you, God. In sleepy satisfaction, she grunted and burrowed deeper into a soft feather pillow, allowing her eyes to slide closed.
“You can’t fool me.” Dev snuggled close to Lauren’s back and wrapped an arm tightly around her partner, needing to feel the solid presence of her lover’s compact body to reassure herself that she was safe, and here, and whole. “I know you’re awake.”
Lauren moved away from the warm breath tickling her neck and moaned into her pillow. “Shh,” she murmured softly. “Lauren is still asleep and it’s not morning yet. No matter what the sun says. Go back to sleep.” Wait a minute. Devlyn? Lauren turned her head just a little so that she could take in a breath of cool air. “Aren’t you supposed to be running circles around your agents and the White House track this morning? Don’t tell me you’re missing torture time.”
The hoarse quality of Lauren’s morning voice made Dev smile. “It’s not torture. And I would have been finished running by now anyway. I just didn’t feel like running this morning. I already told Jack to take the agents running without me.” Devlyn swept a strand of Lauren’s hair out of her way and brushed her lips across the warm skin she found there. “You don’t have to get up. You get to laze around in bed all you want. President’s orders,” she said in a no-nonsense voice.
Careful to stay within Devlyn’s embrace, Lauren rolled over and gently kissed a pair of waiting lips as her mind slowly processed what Devlyn was saying. “Morning,” she whispered.
A fond smile curled Dev’s lips and made it all the way to her eyes. “Morning.”
When they parted, Lauren gave Dev a curious look. “When did you call Jack?” I didn’t hear a thing.
A guilty expression swept across Dev’s face. “Umm… I’ve been up for a while,” she admitted reluctantly.
“How long is a while?”
Dev looked away. “I dunno. I just couldn’t sleep. No big deal.”
Lauren bit her tongue. She’s not getting a single night’s peace with those damn nightmares. Those muscle relaxants put me out like a light last night. I didn’t hear a thing. “Rough night, darlin’?”
Dev visibly flinched. “I’m fine. You can go back to sleep.”
Lauren gaze gentled as she saw the panic lurking behind Dev’s eyes. She gave the warm body next to hers a gentle poke. “As much as I’d love to lounge around in bed all day, the doctor said after a couple of days of rest I could go back to work so long as I take it easy, remember?”
“Oh.” Dev looked a little disappointed as she smoothed back a tuft of wild blonde hair. She tried to sound nonchalant, but the words sounded stilted, even to her own ears. “I was thinking of spending the day here at home with you. I… um… I called Jane and had her clear my schedule.” The word “again” was left unspoken, but hung between them as vibrantly as the sunlight now splashing across the bed.
Lauren did her best not to frown. Devlyn hadn’t strayed from her side for more than two minutes at a time since the accident. At first she was more than happy to have any excuse for Devlyn to have a little down time. Now, however, she was starting to believe that Dev watching over her like a hawk had done nothing more than trade one stress for another. “Okay,” she said slowly, not wanting to hurt Devlyn’s feelings but resolving not to let this issue go another day without discussing it.
Dev brushed her knuckles against the downy-fine hairs on Lauren’s cheek. “How’s your head?”
Lauren’s medical test had revealed a concussion, albeit a mild one. “Mmm.” She stretched a little, tugging the sheet up over her pajama-clad hips. “Sore like the rest of me.” A yawn. “Better though. How about you?”
The smile slid from Dev’s face. “I’m fine, Lauren.” Her voice cooled a little. “Just like I said.”
“I can see that.” Lauren noted the faint but clear lines of exhaustion that still ringed her partner’s eyes. She girded her mental loins. “I won’t ignore what’s staring me in the face forever, honey. We need to talk,” she said, but admitted privately that she didn’t have a clue where to start. “Do you want to tell me about the dreams?” As soon as the words left her mouth, she felt Devlyn stiffen in response.
Without warning, Devlyn threw off her covers and jumped out of bed, her feet slapping loudly against the floor. She stalked towards the bathroom, her anger clear from the set of her shoulders. “Nothing to tell,” she said flatly, not bothering to turn around. “I can’t remember them. I’m sorry if I disturbed you.”
Lauren opened her mouth to say something just as the bathroom door shut. “Dammit,” she grumbled, tossing off the remainder of her own blankets. “Not this time, Devlyn,” she said loud enough so that she was sure her partner could hear her, even over the running water.
But before Lauren could make it to the bathroom, there was a gentle knock on her door. She stopped and stared back to the nightstand, trying to make out the fuzzy numbers on the clock across the room. She cursed again, spying her glasses on the table next to the clock, and rubbed her eyes with irritated fingers.
“It’s me,” a quiet voice said from behind the door.
“And us,” came two more chorusing voices, both a little louder than their sister’s.
Lauren opened the door and looked down at the children. “What are you guys doing up?” she asked softly. The kids were still in their pajamas, though Aaron, for some unknown reason, was only wearing his bottoms, and they were all sporting various stages of bed head. Lauren’s hand went to her own head, knowing she looked the same, but doubting it was as cute on her. “You don’t have to get up today. Your teachers are at a convention. Remember?” She yawned and stepped aside when all three kids plowed past her and crawled into her and Devlyn’s still-warm bed.
“We know,” Ashley said happily. “But we wanted to get an early start on today.” Despite trying not to, she mirrored Lauren’s yawn.
“You do know what today is?” Aaron asked, giggling as he pulled his mother’s pillow from Christopher’s hands and wrapped himself around it. “Hmm?” Expectantly, twinkling blue eyes fastened on Lauren.
“Gee, I don’t know,” she drew out the words playfully, waiting until all three children were moaning and whining before she gave in. “Ahh… yes,” she finally said. “I seem to remember…” She tapped her chin with one finger. “…Something.”
“Mama!” Ashley cried, very aware she was being teased, but unable to withstand it for another second.
Lauren grinned broadly, as much at the endearment that still sounded new and exciting as the teasing. “I remember, evil ones. We’re off to the shopping center.” The rare trip to such a public place with the children had been planned for weeks, and Lauren hadn’t seen them as excited about anything since Disney World.
Ashley licked her lips nervously, her eyes trained on the stark white bandage that still covered Lauren’s forehead. Her voice took on a fearful edge. “Can you still go?”
Christopher, who was propped up with Lauren’s pillow and was lying with his head on the foot of the bed, sat up a little as he anxiously awaited Lauren’s answer.
Most of her mind still on Devlyn, Lauren walked over to the bed and sloppily crawled over Ashley to plop down between her and Aaron. “I don’t see why not.
But um… I’m still a little sore, so we might have to take a rest at… oh, McDonalds or someplace after a couple of hours.” Another excursion that was rare in the extreme for the children and had required more planning than Lauren had dreamed possible for such a mundane task. “Sound good?” She prepared herself for the explosion she knew would come.
“Yeah!” they all cheered and Lauren closed her eyes and covered her ears in a vain attempt to keep their joint cry from rattling her brains.
The bathroom door opened and Devlyn reentered the room, her face glowing and pink from being freshly scrubbed, her toothbrush still dangling loosely from one hand. “What’s all the noise about?” She looked at the clock, then arched an eyebrow at her offspring. “And why aren’t you getting ready for school?”
“No school today, Mom,” Chris said.
“Today’s the day I get my ears pierced,” Ashley informed her. The girl was bubbling with excitement.
“And Toys-R-Us and McDonald’s,” Aaron added, laughing as Lauren reached down and tickled his exposed belly.
“Ahh… Right. The teachers’ convention.” Dev trained her eyes on her daughter. “Are you still sure about the ear thing, Ash? It’s gonna hurt.”
Warily, Ashley glanced at Lauren, who nodded her agreement. “You know how I feel about needles, kiddo. I was too chicken to get mine done until college.” She shot Devlyn a warning look when she heard the taller woman snicker. Ashley had been spared the version of the story that included Lauren having the procedure done in her friend’s bathroom after consuming more than her share of liquid courage and passing out in the tub after the first prick.
Ashley swallowed hard, and both women could see the wheels in her mind turning. But the girl’s voice didn’t waver when she spoke. “I’m sure I’m ready, Mom. I’ll be brave.”
Dev nodded. “All right then.” In truth she thought Ashley should wait a few years, but the little girl had been working them both over hard to get her way on this and her persistence had actually paid off. Ashley had even successfully talked the biographer into calling her teacher to confirm that all the other girls were doing it. The argument was still weak at best, but during a late night conversation between just the two of them, Lauren had mentioned that she thought Ashley was already struggling to fit in and that keeping her from doing the typical things other girls her age were doing only served to make her stand out even more.
It was the first time that Lauren had ventured into parental decision-making and she had been so hesitant and unsure of herself that it made Dev’s heart clench just remembering. It had been a big step for the younger woman, and so, hesitantly, Devlyn had allowed herself to be persuaded. Now, as she watched her daughter’s dark eyes dancing with happiness, she couldn’t help but feel better about her choice. “I think I’ll come with you guys today,” she announced, surprising everyone in the room.
Ashley and her brothers exchanged confused, then worried glances.
“It’s not Sunday,” Ashley reminded her mom.
Dev scowled. “I know. But I’m going to stay home today in case Lauren needs me.”
“That’s okay,” Aaron said quickly. “You don’t need to go, Mom.”
“Yeah,” Ashley agreed, both she and Christopher nodding. “You have to work.”
Stunned, Devlyn could only stare at her children, blinking slowly. “What’s going on?”
Lauren could hardly believe her ears.
“Well, we know how busy you are, Mom,” Ashley tried again.
“You don’t want me to come?” Dev finally asked, feeling stupid that the answer suddenly mattered more than she could say.
Sensing impending disaster, Lauren sat up. “Devlyn—”
Dev held up a forestalling hand. “I want them to answer.” She turned intent eyes on her children, who instantly began to squirm under her stare. “Well?”
“You have to work,” Christopher answered bravely. “That’s okay. We want Lauren to take us. We can count on her.”
“Chris!” Lauren turned disbelieving eyes on the middle child.
“Don’t worry, Mom, we won’t be gone forever. We’ll make it up to you,” Ashley soothed, the familiar words reaching out and slapping Devlyn harder than any blow she could imagine.
Dev’s jaw worked for a few painfully silent seconds.
Lauren could see Dev’s white-knuckled grip on her toothbrush and swallowed hard. “I don’t think they meant it the way it sounded, Devlyn.”
“I think they meant it just like it sounded,” Dev finally murmured, reaching up and rubbing the bridge of her nose with one hand. Then, without a word, she turned on her heels and marched back into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.
The children shared uncomfortable looks as Lauren ran an agitated hand through her hair.
“What was that?” Lauren demanded, knowing how badly Devlyn’s feelings had just been hurt. “You beg her to spend time with you every single day and then when she offers you tell her no thanks?”
“We do want to spend time with Mom,” Ashley explained reasonably, her face and voice so earnest that Lauren believed her at once. “But we want to go to the mall today. We’ve been waiting for weeks.” She began gesturing with her hands, fearing that their trip would now be cancelled because they’d done something wrong. “We don’t want to wait anymore.”
“Yeah,” Christopher said. “And if Mom says she’ll come with us then we’ll never go today.”
“She’s busy,” Aaron said simply, moving out of his brother’s reach as the older boy tried to steal the pillow back. He didn’t understand why Lauren looked so upset. “Mom has to work,” he repeated as though it was totally obvious.
Lauren covered her eyes with one hand and let out an explosive sigh. Shit.