Firewalker (35 page)

“It's okay, Rowan. I'll be the villain so you can stay a hero,” she whispered.

Rowan's face blanched. “Lillian said that to me the day she arrested my father,” he said.

Lily nodded. “I know.” She faced Alaric. “I know because Lillian and I have been in contact since I went back to my world. She showed me everything that she knows, and she knew about the bombs. Where are they?”

Alaric shook his head. “And put myself completely at the mercy of a witch?” Alaric looked at Lily as if she were crazy. “My people are trapped between the Covens and the Woven. We can't survive against both. One of them has to go.”

“You're absolutely right,” Lily said. “The
Woven
have to go. They're the true enemy of your people. Lillian only became your enemy when she found out about the bombs.” Lily turned to Rowan, hoping that she could still convince him. “The shaman told Lillian about the bombs, and that's why she went after scientists. She was just trying to stop Alaric from blowing up the entire eastern seaboard.”

“Then why did she hang my father?” Rowan asked. “He was a doctor, not a scientist.” Rowan turned to Alaric. “Did my father know anything about the bombs? Anything at all?”

“Not a thing,” Alaric said, meeting Rowan's eyes to show that he wasn't lying.

Rowan turned to Lily, waiting for her to explain. She couldn't. She couldn't tell him why Lillian had killed River first.

“Please. You don't understand what these bombs are capable of,” she said. “You saw what happened to the tunnel women—how every cell was destroyed. That was just because they carried the material that makes the bombs. Imagine what will happen if Alaric detonates them. They won't just destroy the cities, they'll destroy your woods, too. We call it nuclear winter, and it will poison this entire world. Please bring the fight to the Woven, not the cities. I'll fight with you.”

Rowan looked down, shaking his head. Lily turned desperately to Caleb, Tristan, and Juliet. She was grasping at straws. “I'll fuel the braves, but we need to get away from the cities. We need to go west. There's a mystery behind the Woven, something that we don't understand, and we can use it to stop them. The answer is west of the Missouri River—the
Pekistanoui
—I can feel it.”

“West?” Alaric exclaimed. Lily had never seen fear in his eyes before, not even on the night they went into battle, but she saw fear now. “You have no idea what lies west of that river. I do.” It was Alaric's turn to look to the bystanders for support. And he got it from Rowan.

“The
Misi-Ziibi
is Pack territory, and past the
Pekistanoui
is the Hive,” Rowan said, his voice low. “With a witch, we could survive the Pack. But even with a witch's army, the Hive would tear us apart. It's impossible, Lily.”

“Has anyone tried?” she asked, refusing to give up. “Rowan, you told me yourself that no one knows that much about the Hive. Has a witch ever fueled an army of Outlander braves to fight them?”

Alaric shook his head. “You're asking my people to fight to the last man, Lily. We are too few to risk that.”

“Please try,” Lily begged, tears in her eyes. “I'll fight and die with you if I have to, but don't attack the cities, Alaric. Please.”

“Lillian swore to find a way to get rid of Woven, and I waited, hoping that she would, because I don't want to use those bombs. I'm not a madman,” he said tiredly, and Lily knew he was speaking the truth. Alaric was tormented by this decision, but it was a decision he had already made. “I just want my people to survive. We are on the brink of extinction, and the only way to avoid that now is to attack our other enemy. The cities.”

“I won't let you,” Lily said, swallowing her tears. She faced him, hating that she had to pit herself against this man, but like him, her decision was already made. “I'll stop you, Alaric Windrider, no matter what I have to do.”

“Lillian said the same thing to me once.” Alaric looked at Rowan, regret etching deep lines into his face. “I guess this is the day Lillian comes back to haunt both of us.”

Rowan took Lily by the shoulders and pulled her away from Alaric. He looked her in the eye, pleading with her. “Remember when I told you that Lillian was a master at controlling minds? That she had years of practice and she could do things that you never dreamed of? She's
using
you. She's twisting your mind so that you'll take up her psychotic cause. But you're just as strong as she is, Lily. You can fight her. You can stop this—”

Lily cut him off. “She's not controlling me, Rowan. She showed me her memories. That's it. I know what she knows, and that's how she convinced me that what she's doing is to protect this world—your world.”

“Then show me,” he said, his face lifting with hope. “Show me what she showed you and maybe it will convince me, too. We can find a solution. Lillian shut me out, but we can figure this out together. You and me, Lily. Please don't shut me out like she did.”

Lily almost did it. She almost opened up her mind to Rowan and let him see everything. But the sound of the boy screaming when River dragged him by his hair to the chopping block filled her ears, and she knew she wouldn't be capable of keeping that from Rowan. No matter how hard she tried to hide it from him, he'd keep digging, searching for why his father had to die, because that's what he really needed to understand. It wasn't about the bombs for him. Lily could easily show Rowan the cinder world and that would explain her opposition to Alaric and his weapon, but it still wouldn't explain why Lillian had killed his father. A half-truth wouldn't work. It was all or nothing.

“I have to shut you out because I love you, Rowan,” she said. “But I'm begging you—have faith in me. Trust that I'm doing this for a good reason. For the
best
reason.”

His eyes unfocused and he looked through her, like he was remembering something. “And then she started hanging people,” he whispered.

There was no warning. His face didn't change. He didn't even really look at her while he did it. Rowan reached out and ripped Lily's willstones off her neck.

*   *   *

Lily couldn't move.

But it didn't hurt. There was no feeling of invasion or violation as there had been when Gideon and Carrick had taken her stones. Rowan was too much a part of her for her willstones to revolt against his touch. She simply couldn't move a muscle, not even to close her eyes. Her will had been separated from her physical body, leaving her as limp as a darted grizzly. She was aware that it was something Rowan was doing to her stones that made her like that. His will was suppressing hers somehow, and he was so powerful she couldn't even blink.

It was difficult to focus on what was happening around her. People started yelling. Juliet was frantic. The Tristans went for Rowan, calling him a traitor and worse. Rowan pulled out his knife and stood over Lily. Caleb put himself in the middle. He was trying to make sense of it all. Alaric defended Rowan, saying that if Rowan had done this to Lillian to begin with, no one would have died. Alaric's painted warriors appeared out of nowhere and the Tristans were dragged away. Juliet cried. Lily hated seeing her sister cry.

Lily felt herself being lifted and carried. Rowan had her, but she couldn't see him because her head had fallen to the side. All she could see was the ground and people's legs as they went past. He put her in a cage and locked it.

He didn't look back.

The farther Rowan took her willstones away from her body, the hazier everything became. It was night and then it was day again. Someone tried to pour water between her lips, but Lily's jaw was clamped shut. Night came, and Lily could have sworn she saw
two
Breakfasts standing in the group that came to stare at her and argue. One Breakfast had the same short hair she'd always seen him with, and the other had long hair that was braided with beads and feathers like an Outlander's. The longhaired Breakfast was pleading with the group. He kept saying that the technology for the bombs had been stolen from another world and that they would create a cinder world like the ones he had seen in his spirit walks. Lily wondered when Breakfast had learned to spirit walk. More arguing followed.

Everyone went away.

The stars were so bright they dazzled Lily's eyes. A shadow suddenly blocked them out. Its hunched shoulders and cocked head reminded her of Carrick. He stood outside her bars, staring at her. He told her not to worry, that he would take care of the bombs. Remove just
one part
and they couldn't explode, he said. The shadow crouched down close to her, holding up a little metal piece. He said a man had died over it. There was blood on his hands. He reached through the bars and touched her cheek, telling her that they were on the same side now. He said that everything had turned. He was her true champion and Rowan had become her torturer. He stroked her cheek. He said that she would learn to love him, that he wasn't so different from his brother after all.

The shadow went away.

Dawn came and turmoil came with it. Arguments thundered over her like a storm cloud. Alaric came to her cage, opened it, and shook her limp body. He was demanding she tell them where the missing thing had gone. He leaned close to her. There was rage in his eyes and he said he wanted her dead before she got to the other bombs. Rowan pulled him away. He said Lily couldn't be responsible. Look at her, he shouted. Alaric calmed down and said that it didn't matter anyway. They'd make another copy of the missing piece as soon as they found Hakan. Rowan looked at Lily for a long time after Alaric went away. His face suddenly changed and he rubbed something off her cheek. Blood, he whispered. He looked around, frightened, and then locked her back in her cage.

Lily's eyes grew dim.

She felt arms lifting her, carrying her away. Everything was dark. Maybe she was dying. She felt a deep, dull pain as if someone were moving the bones around in her body, and then she recognized the warmth of her willstones against her skin. She had her willstones back again. She drew in a gasping breath. She saw Tristan's face. Her Tristan, and everything came back into focus. Tristan attached her willstones around her neck for her.

“She's alive,” he said, his hushed voice breaking with relief. She felt water in her mouth and swallowed it, but it wasn't enough. She gulped the water down frantically, tasting a hint of herbs that eased the pounding in her head. She heard another voice whisper to Tristan, and the canteen was taken away. Her eyes slid shut.

Lily realized Tristan was carrying her. Una's and Juliet's faces appeared nearby. They were running through the camp. It was dark out, but Lily could still see some guards watching them pass as they stole away from camp. No one raised the alarm.

Far off, on the other side of the camp, Lily could hear the sounds of a skirmish. Terrified, she listened for the howls and screeches of Woven, but all she heard were human voices fighting with one another. She could feel some of her claimed dying, and clutched at her chest with each heartbreaking loss.

When they got to the edge of camp, Lily saw Caleb, Breakfast, and the other Tristan already mounted and holding the reins of five fresh horses. A handful of braves were with them, speaking in hushed tones. They left as soon as Lily arrived, each of the braves pausing a moment to touch a hand to their chest in a gesture of respect as they passed her.

Her Tristan passed Lily up into Caleb's arms. Caleb's face was bruised and swollen. So was the other Tristan's. They'd both been in a terrible fight. She tried to ask what had happened.

“Later,” Caleb whispered, holding her in front of him on his horse. “We've got to get you out of here.”

Her mouth was so dry. She looked around. “Where are we going?” she croaked.

Everyone exchanged frightened looks. Lily noticed Juliet's eyes were red and swollen with crying. “West, like you wanted,” Juliet replied.

 

CHAPTER

13

They rode all night. No one spoke for fear of the Woven. Lily clung to Caleb, wishing she were back in the cage without her willstones. At least then she wouldn't have to feel anything. Now that she was no longer numb she had to face what had happened.

When she'd made her choice and told everyone that she had been in contact with Lillian, she'd known it might mean she would lose Rowan. Deep inside, Lily had always wondered how he could look at her and not think of Lillian anyway, and when she'd openly admitted that she agreed with Lillian, Lily knew she would be giving him up. She might even have to fight him.

But what he did was worse than fight her. At least in a fight, you have to hear each other's argument. Rowan took away her willstones. He took away her
voice
.

Lily wasn't sad yet. She felt embarrassed and off balance, like someone who'd put her foot down hard, expecting there to be one more step on the stairway, only to stumble in front of everyone. She couldn't stop thinking of the night they'd spent together, and what a fool she'd been to give herself to him. It hit her in waves, alternating between the heat of shame and the chill of disbelief. He knew what had happened to her in the oubliette, and he still did the same thing to her that Gideon and Carrick had done. He'd robbed her of her will.

In the early morning hours, Caleb decided that they'd gone far enough and called a halt to rest the horses and eat. Everyone chewed mechanically, like they had no appetite. It wasn't just fear of what they faced in the west that stole everyone's spirit. They had all lost someone they'd loved. Lily wasn't the only one Rowan and Alaric had turned against.

And poor Juliet—Lily stared at her sister's swollen face and shaking hands. Juliet looked as wrecked as Lily felt, but Lily couldn't cry like her sister. Not yet. Maybe not ever. It had been Lily's decision to listen to Lillian in the first place, and then her decision to take Lillian's side. She had walked into this with open eyes, and she had to keep them open or they could all die out here in the Woven Woods. Crying was a luxury, a release she couldn't afford.