Authors: Lisa Logue
"Yes, and those are the ones I despised. I was a predator. I didn't want the willing ones; I wanted the ones who ran. What fun is it to have all these abilities and not use them?" I asked morbidly. Her eyes grew wide, but she wasn't afraid. Something else conflicted in her mind, but she did well to hide it.
"I see," she turned away as blood flooded her cheeks.
"
I didn’t freak you out, did I
?"
"No, I just don't think I need to hear about your preferences. It's....well, let's just skip over that, okay?" she kept her back to me, but her voice shook.
"I didn't mean to frighten you."
"I'm not afraid," she laughed shyly. "It's actually incredibly sexy to hear you talk about it that way. There must be something wrong with my brain."
"Sexy
, huh
?
That's a new one," I chuckled.
"I wish I'd have known you then,
"
s
he stole a glance, but not before I saw the desire in those big brown eyes.
"That wouldn't have been a good idea. I killed for fun. I hunted women down and took what most men would have been willingly given. It wasn't sexy, it was predatory."
"But they did give it, you said so yourself. They went to bed with you because of
you
, not what you are. Being a vampire is a bonus," she shook her head in exasperation.
"A bonus?
I have no idea what you mean
,
"
I said as
she turned toward me with a strange look.
"You are the sexiest, most intelligent man I've ever met. There's something about you women can't figure out. They know you're trouble, but it's the good kind. The kind that makes them go weak in the knees just thinking of all the dangerous things a man like you could do. There's a passion in your eyes that is raw and deep, emanating from somewhere deep inside. Being a vampire enhances your emotions, right? You feel it much stronger than any other man could. It's not a curse, Christian
,
"
s
he exhaled roughly, trying to mask her excitement.
"How can you see any good in what I am? At any second, I could kill you. Not that I'd ever want to, but I could. One wrong move and you'd be gone. How does that not scare you?"
"You work too hard
for that
. You drink that elixir to prove to yourself that there is more to being a vampire than the bloodlust, no matter how strong of a hold it has on you. There isn't really anything you could
do
to make me think you'd kill me
,
aside from actually doing it."
"Your judgment is clouded by your emotions," I smirked at her.
She shrugged, "Maybe, but even if I felt nothing I'd still want you. Sadly, I'd want to see what kind of passion you are capable of. The fact that you fight against it makes me want it even more."
"So if I gave in, you wouldn't want me?" I challenged.
"Oh no, I'd want you. The difference is
…
you might want me," she turned away again as a shudder caught her by surprise.
"There's more to this story. If you want to hear it I'll continue. We know there isn't an ending, but there is a promising future," I rubbed her arms through her jacket and she turned into my chest. Our time together was never dull.
"Can we finish this at the cabin? It's getting colder," she murmured into my chest.
"Hang on, I'll get us back," I tucked her into my body and carried her close as I soared over the ground. In seconds, we were in her room.
"Why is it we always end up in my room? I think I've only seen yours maybe twice since I've been staying here," she teased.
"There's really nothing to see. Your room is much nicer, trust me," I kicked my shoes off and leaned against the wall.
I was nervous to be in her room. The last time
,
we ended up making out before I
hurt
her again and she cried herself to sleep.
"Mmhmm. I guess that's the best answer I'm going to get. Give me a minute to change. You're not going to disappear, are you?"
"No, I'll be here when you finish," I smiled. She was used to me slipping away. While it was tempting, she probably would have made me finish telling her at some point anyway.
While she shuffled around in the bathroom, I reminisced about the past. The time with Alex and Jasmine was wild
,
to say the very least. For far too long
,
I took what I wanted, whenever I wanted, with little regard for anything but myself. It was reckless, but I couldn't deny that it was freeing. I didn't worry about the consequences, or for that matter
,
didn't know about any. Blood fueled my haze, proving to be the drug it is. While I needed it to live, I didn't need it from people all the time. Engorging myself did nothing to ebb the thirst, it simply filled me until the next victim fell at my feet.
Chapter 10
Colorado, 1960
Austin nudged me with his foot, “Look, this is where you grew up.”
A rather large log cabin sat among the rolling hills of the forest, surrounding it almost completely. A large lake, about the size of two football fields, spanned the entire front of the land. The cabin was weathered and aged. It looked abandoned; I suppose it was.
“It doesn’t look familiar. How do you know I lived here?” I turned away from the window.
“Your parents were listed as living here. I’m assuming they led normal human lives. We’ve got nothing on record to state otherwise.”
“Except for my brother. Does anyone know he’s my brother?” I tried to remember the face of the vampire that I saw from a distance. The fear and hatred in his eyes kept me away.
“Apart from us, no. I doubt he even knows you’re alive.” Austin clicked his pen and began writing f
uriously. Why he didn’t use
magic was
still
a mystery to me.
“So, that’s it? I’m supposed to live here completely alone even though I have a younger bro
ther out there who doesn’t
know I’m alive?”
“Pretty much,” he kept scribbling.
“
Well, I guess it’s settled then,
” I huffed.
“Christian, what would you possibly say to your brother? You can’t remember him, or anyone else for that matter. All you have are glimpses of your past. You know who he is, but you don’t remember a thing about him. He’ll ask questions that you can’t answer; at least not yet.”
I wanted to tell him he was wrong, but it was no use. I couldn’t remember my brother. Hell, I didn’t even know his name! I sighed and went back to looking at the place that was once my home. Honestly, I was petrified of what waited inside.
“I won’t be able to stay here long. We’ll fix the place up and map out the land. It looks like all if it is still intact. I’m surprised the house is still standin
g. It’s been almost fifty years,” h
e stared at it in awe. I just stared.
Nothing about the cabin made me feel anything. I could vaguely remember being here, but it was like looking at negatives. It never really seemed like me, although I knew it was.
The car came to a stop and I got out slowly. It smelled of fresh water, dirt, dust and game. I didn’t sense any humans in the area, which was both good and bad. Austin began barking orders to the driver while I walked around the bank of the lake, admiring the view.
T
hey picked a great place to live. The sun kissed the top of the trees as it set, casting a heavenly glow throughout the whole area. I wondered if I appreciated it as much before I could no longer walk in sunlight. At least I couldn’t before I met Austin.
Picking up a rock, I skipped it across the lake and smiled. It went farther than I’d ever thrown one before. Buzzing sounded in my ears as it rushed back to me; we’d play out here while mother did the laundry. Father taught us how to skip the rocks and I always threw them farther, but my brother was close behind me. He was more competitive, especially when it came to getting father’s attention.
Gasping for air, I bent and rested my hands on my knees. I hated when that happened
. Since Austin fed me the herbs
I got
pretty realistic, but very rough,
flashbacks. I’d see their faces and hear them speak, but it was distant, like I was a bird flying high above them.
“You alright?” Austin approached my carefully.
“Sure,” I said and straightened up, ignoring the dizziness.
“Let’s go inside. I’ve cleaned it up a bit for you.”
I followed him inside. It was dank and dirty, but somewhere in the back of my mind I was saddened by its condition. Some of the original furniture was in the living room, covered with large white sheets, as were the bookshelves that lined the walls. I knew my mother’s books were there. It wasn’t in a flashback this time; I remembered reading them by the fire with her. I stifled the urge to rip the sheets from everything. I’d wait until Austin was gone to do that.
“I thought you said you cleaned it up?” I ran my fingers along the kitchen counter, caking the tips heavily with dust.
“I did. The place was a mess. At least everything is in its proper place now. It’s your home, Christian. You should be the one to do it, not me.”
Nodding, but not really listening, I saw something that caught my eye. I crouched beside the stove and hesitated. Beneath a pile of dust bunnies and dirt
,
was a locket. Carefully, I picke
d it up and held my breath as
I opened it. A picture of me rest on one side and a picture of my brother on the other. The back was inscribed with her initials.
“Did you find something?” Austin crouched beside me.
“My mother’s locket,” I whispered.
“You’re sure?” he asked excitedly. I nodded.
“She never took this off. I remember her showing my brother and me that our pictures were inside. She said it was so no matter how far apart we were, she’d always have us close to her heart,” I said as my voice cracked.
“You remember that?” he arched an eyebrow.
“Apparently, although I didn’t have a clue until I touched it.”
“Then coming back here is a good thing. You’ll start to remember more the longer you’re here. Pretty soon, you won’t ha
ve any more gaps,” h
e patted me on the back.
“So, I’ll be here alone then?” I put the locket safely in my jacket pocket.
“No, there are a few vampires I’ve chosen to stay with you. They’ll be able to help you with whatever issues you might still be having. Not to mention it will make your transition into this life easier.”
“No offense, but I don’t think anything will really make this easier.”
“Probably not, but we can try. They’ll arrive in a few hours to help out
with everything. Do you mind?” h
e stared at me intently, waiting for an answer I wasn’t sure I was ready to give.
“Do I know these other vampires? Were they on the compound with us?” I avoided his question.
“Desi and Luthor,” he nodded. “They’re the tamest vampires I could find. Not to mention you all seemed to be pretty good pals. I figured it was a good choice.”
The choices could have been worse. Desi and Luthor were among the first to befriend me. They were very different, but also very much alike. Desi was a fair skinned, red headed fire ball with a kind demeanor and overall pleasant personality. Luthor was almost her opposite with dark skin, hair as black as night and possibly the most serious person I’d ever met. They were also the only vampires I knew who understood my problems.
“Alright, so where do we go from here?” I huffed.
Chapter 11
Colorado, Present Day
"So, where were we?" Lia popped
out of the bathroom
, probably hurrying so I
couldn’t
make a break for it.
"We're just past
the part where I was talking about my eating habits," I chuckled.
"It's not funny," she tossed a pillow at me, which I caught.
"Moving on," I sighed. "Austin made the elixir and pointed me in the right direction. Some more civilized vampires befriended me and I was able to understand how to hold on to my humanity."
"Hold onto it? I don't understand..." she shook her head.
"When a person is turned, often their minds are so corrupted by the thirst that they fully succumb to vampirism. From the beginning, I wasn't like the others. While my insides turned to ice, my mind wouldn't let me forget," I told her softly.
"How could you have turned to ice? You feel warm to me," she teased.
"I was dead, or dying, Lia. When people die they turn cold."
"That doesn't explain how you've been a vampire since I've known you, but you feel warm to me," she accused.
"I don't think I can explain that. I'm cold as ice. Inside and out is frozen. That'
s how I've been for a long time
,
" I stared into nothingness, remembering when I could feel my heart beating.