Fingersmith (70 page)

She shook her head. 'How much,' she asked quietly, 'would you have given up?'

Her gaze was so dark, yet so steady and true; but I grew aware, all at once, of Mrs Sucksby—of John and Dainty, Mr Ibbs—all of them, watching, silent and curious, thinking,
What's this
… ? And in that moment, I saw into my own cowardly heart and knew that I would have given up nothing for her, nothing at all; and that, sooner than be shamed by her now, I would die.

She reached again. Her fingers brushed my wrist. I took up the knife and jabbed at her hand.

'Don't touch me!' I said, as I did it. I got to my feet. 'Don't any of you touch me!' My voice was wild. 'Not any of you! Do you hear me? I came back here, thinking this my home; now you want to cast me out again. I hate you all! I wish I had stayed in the country!'

I looked from face to face. Dainty had begun to cry. John sat, open-mouthed and astonished. Mr Ibbs had his hand at his cheek. Maud nursed her bleeding fingers. Charles shook. Mrs Sucksby said,

'Sue, put down the knife. Cast you out? The idea! I—'

Then she stopped. Charley Wag had lifted his head. From Mr Ibbs's shop there came the sound of a key, turning in a lock. Then came the kicking of boots; then whistling.

'Gentleman!' she said. She looked at Maud, at Mr Ibbs, at me. She got up, and leaned to catch at my arm. 'Sue,' she said, as she did it. She spoke in a voice that was almost a whisper. 'Susie, sweetheart, will you come upstairs… ?'

But I did not answer, only gripped the knife more firmly. Charley Wag gave a feeble bark, and Gentleman heard him, and barked in reply. Then he whistled again, a lazy waltz tune, and we heard him stumbling along the passage and watched as he pushed at the door. I think he was drunk. His hat was crooked, his cheek quite pink, his mouth a perfect O. He stood, and slightly swayed, and looked about the room, squinting into the shadows. The whistle died. His lips grew straight, and he licked them.

'Hallo,' he said, 'here's Charles.' He winked. Then he looked at me, and at my knife. 'Hallo, here's Sue.' He took off his hat and began to unwind the scarlet cloth from his throat. 'I supposed you might come. Had you left it another day, I should have been ready. I have just now collected a letter, from that fool Christie. He certainly dragged his heels, in letting me know of your escape! I think he planned to recapture you before he should have to. Bad publicity, when one's lady lunatics run.'

He put the scarlet cloth inside the hat and let them drop. He took out a cigarette.

'You're fucking cool,' I said. I was shaking. 'Here's Mrs Sucksby and Mr Ibbs, know everything.'

He laughed. 'I should say they do.'

'Gentleman!' said Mrs Sucksby. 'Listen to me. Sue has told us terrible things. I want you to go.'

'Don't let him leave!' I said. 'He'll send for Dr Christie!' I waved my knife. 'Charles, stop him!'

Gentleman had lit his cigarette, but apart from that had not moved. He turned to look at Charles, who had taken a couple of doubtful steps towards him. He put his hand to Charles's hair.

'So, Charley,' he said.

'Please, sir,' said Charles.

'You have found me out a villain.'

Charles's lip began to tremble. 'Honest to God, Mr Rivers, I never meant to!'

'There, there,' said Gentleman. He stroked Charles's cheek. Mr Ibbs made a puffing sound with his lips. John got to his feet, then looked about him as if he did not know why he had done it. He blushed.

'Sit down, John,' said Mrs Sucksby.

He folded his arms.'I shall stand if I like.'

'Sit down, or I'll hit you.'

'Hit me?' His voice was hoarse. 'Hit them two, there!' He pointed to Gentleman and Charles. Mrs Sucksby took two quick steps, and struck him. She struck him hard. He put both his arms to his head and gazed at her from between his elbows.

'You old cow!' he said. 'You been down on me since the day I was born. You touch me again, you'll know it!'

His eyes blazed as he said it; but then, they filled with tears and he began to snivel. He walked to the wall, and kicked it. Charles shuddered and wept harder. Gentleman looked from one to the other, then gazed at Maud in pretend amazement.

'Is it down to me,' he said, 'that small boys weep?'

'Fuck you, I ain't small!' said John.

'Will you be quiet?' said Maud, in her low, clear voice. 'Charles, that's enough.'

Charles wiped his nose. 'Yes, miss.'

Gentleman leaned against the post of the door, still smoking. 'So, Suky,' he said. 'You know all now.'

'I know you're a filthy swindler,' I said. 'But I knew that, six months ago. I was a fool, that's all, to trust you.'

'Dear girl,' said Mrs Sucksby quickly, with her eyes on Gentleman's face. 'Dear girl, the fools were me and Mr Ibbs, to let you.'

Gentleman had taken his cigarette from his mouth to blow against its tip. Now, hearing Mrs Sucksby and meeting her gaze, he stood quite still for a second with it held before his lips. Then he looked away and laughed—a disbelieving sort of laugh—and shook his head.

'Sweet Christ,' he said quietly.

I thought she had shamed him.

'All right,' she said. 'All right.' She lifted her hands. She stood, like a man on a raft—like she was afraid to make too sharp a move for fear of sinking. 'Now, no more wildness. John, no more sulks. Sue, put that knife down, please, I beg you. No-one is to be harmed. Mr Ibbs. Miss Lilly. Dainty. Charles—Sue's pal, dear boy—sit down. Gentleman. Gentleman.'

'Mrs Sucksby,' he said.

'No-one to be harmed. All right?'

He glanced at me. 'Tell it to Sue,' he said. 'She is looking at me with murder in her eyes. Under the circumstances, I don't quite care for that.'

'Circumstances?' I said. 'You mean, your having locked me up in a madhouse and left me to die? I should cut your bloody head off!'

He narrowed his eyes, made a face. 'Do you know,' he said, 'you have a very whining tone to your voice at times? Has no-one told you that?'

I made a lunge at him with the knife; but the truth was, I was still bewildered, and sick, and tired, and the lunge was a feeble one. He watched, not flinching, as I stood with the point of the blade before his heart. Then I grew afraid that the knife would shake and he would see it. I put it down. I put it down on the table—at the edge of the table, just beyond the circle of light that the lamp threw there.

'Now, ain't that nicer?' said Mrs Sucksby.

John's tears had dried, but his face was dark—darker on one cheek than on the other, where Mrs Sucksby had hit him. He looked at Gentleman, but nodded to me.

'She went for Miss Lilly just now,' he said. 'Said she'd come to kill her.'

Gentleman gazed at Maud, who had bound up her bleeding fingers in a handkerchief. He said, 'I should like to have seen it.'

John nodded. 'She wants a half of your fortune.'

'Does she?' said Gentleman, slowly.

'John, shut up,' said Mrs Sucksby. 'Gentleman, don't mind him. He is only making trouble. Sue said a half, but that was her passion talking. She ain't in her right mind. She ain't—' She put a hand to her brow, and looked a little queerly about the room—at me, and at Maud. She pressed her fingers against her eyes. 'If I might only,' she said, 'have a moment, for thinking in!'

'Think away,' said Gentleman easily, sourly. 'I am longing to know what you will come up with.'

'So am I,' said Mr Ibbs. He said it quietly. Gentleman caught his eye, and raised a brow.

'Sticky, wouldn't you say, sir?'

'Too sticky,' said Mr Ibbs.

'You think so?'

Mr Ibbs gave a nod. Gentleman said,

'You think perhaps I should go, make it simpler?'

'Are you mad?' I said. 'Can't you see, he'll still do anything for his money? Don't let him go! He'll send for Dr Christie.'

'Don't let him go,' said Maud, to Mrs Sucksby.

'Don't you think of going anywhere,' said Mrs Sucksby, to Gentleman.

He shrugged, his colour rising. 'You wanted me to leave, two minutes ago!'

'I have changed my mind.'

She looked at Mr Ibbs; who looked away.

Gentleman took off his coat. 'Fuck me,' he said, as he did it; and he laughed, not nicely. 'It's too warm for work like this.'

'Fuck you,' I said. 'You fucking villain. You do what Mrs Sucksby says, all right?'

'Like you,' he answered, hanging his coat on a chair.

'Yes.'

He snorted. 'You poor little bitch.'

'
Richard
,' said Maud. She had got to her feet and was leaning upon the table. She said, 'Listen to me. Think of all the filthy deeds you've ever done. This will be the worst, and will gain you nothing.'

'What will?' said John.

But Gentleman snorted again. Tell me,' he said to Maud, 'when you first started learning to be kind. What's it to you, what Sue knows?—Dear me, how you blush! Not
that
thing, still? And do you look at Mrs Sucksby? Don't say you care what
she
thinks! Why, you're as bad as Sue. Look how you quake! Be bolder, Maud. Think of your mother.'

She had raised her hand to her heart. Now she jumped as if he had pinched her. He saw it, and laughed again. Then he looked at Mrs Sucksby. She had also given a kind of start at his words; and she stood, with her hand, like Maud's, at her bosom, beneath that diamond brooch. Then she felt him looking, glanced quickly at Maud, and let her hand fall.

Gentleman's laughter died. He stood very still.

'What's this?' he said.

'What's what?'said John.

'Now then,' said Mrs Sucksby, moving. 'Dainty—'

'Oh!' said Gentleman. 'Oh!' He watched her as she stepped about the table. Then he looked from her to Maud, in an excited sort of way, his colour rising higher. He put his hand to his hair and tugged it back from his brow.

'Now I see it,' he said. He laughed; then the laugh broke off. 'Oh, now I see it!'

'You see nothing,' said Maud, taking a step towards him, but glancing at me. 'Richard, you see nothing.'

He shook his head at her. 'What a fool I've been, not to have guessed it sooner! Oh, this is marvellous! How long have you known? No wonder you've kicked and cursed! No wonder you've sulked! No wonder she's let you! I always marvelled at that. Poor Maud!' He laughed, properly. 'And, oh, Mrs Sucksby, poor you!'

'That's enough!' said Mrs Sucksby. 'You hear me? I won't have it spoke of!'

She also took a step towards him.

'Poor you,' he said again, still laughing. Then he called: 'Mr Ibbs, sir, did you know of this, too?'

Mr Ibbs did not answer.

'Know what?' asked John, his eyes like two dark points. He looked at me. 'Know what?'

'I don't know,' I said.

'Know nothing,' said Maud. 'Know nothing, nothing!'

She was still moving slowly forward, her eyes—that seemed almost black, now, and glittered worse than ever—all the time on Gentleman's face. I saw her put her hand upon the dark edge of the table, as if to guide herself about it. Mrs Sucksby saw it, too, I think. Perhaps she also saw something else. For she started, and then spoke quickly.

'Susie,' she said, 'I want you to go. Take your pal and go.'

'I'm not going anywhere,' I said.

'No Susie, you stay,' said Gentleman, in a rich sort of voice. 'Don't mind Mrs Sucksby's wishes. You have minded them too long. What are they to you, after all?'

'Richard,' said Maud, almost pleading.

'Gentleman,' said Mrs Sucksby, her eyes still on Maud. 'Dear boy. Be silent, will you? I am afraid.'

'Afraid?' he answered. 'You? I should say you never knew fear, in all your life. I should say your hard old leathery heart is beating perfectly quietly now, behind your hard old leathery breast.'

At his words, Mrs Sucksby's face gave a twitch. She raised a hand to the bodice of her dress.

'Feel it!' she said, moving her fingers. 'Feel the motion here, then tell me I ain't afraid!'

'Feel that?' he said, with a glance at her bosom. 'I don't think so.' Then he smiled. 'You may get your daughter to do it, however. She's had practice.'

I cannot say for certain what came next. I know that, hearing his words, I took a step towards him, meaning to strike him or make him be silent. I know that Maud and Mrs Sucksby reached him first. I do not know if Mrs Sucksby, when she darted, darted at him, or only—seeing Maud fly—at her. I know there was the gleam of something bright, the scuffle of shoes, the swish of taffeta and silk, the rushing of someone's breath. I think a chair was scraped or knocked upon the floor. I know Mr Ibbs called out. 'Grace! Grace!' he called: and even in the middle of all the confusion, I thought it a queer thing to call; until I realised it was Mrs Sucksby's first name, that we never heard used.

And so, it was Mr Ibbs I was watching, when it happened. I didn't see it when Gentleman began to stagger. But I heard him groan. It was a soft sort of groan.

'Have you hit me?' he said. His voice was strange.

Then I looked.

He supposed he had only been punched. I think I supposed it, too. He had his hands at his stomach and was leaning forward, as if nursing the pain of the blow. Maud stood a little before him, but now moved away; and as she did I heard something fall, though whether it fell from her hand, or from his—or from Mrs Sucksby's—I cannot tell you. Mrs Sucksby was the closer to him. She was certainly the closer. She put her arm about him, and as he sagged she braced herself against his weight, and held him. 'Have you hit me?' he said again.

'I don't know,' she said.

I don't think anyone knew. His clothes were dark, and Mrs Sucksby's gown was black, and they stood in the shadows, it was hard to see. But at last he took a hand away from his waistcoat and held it before his face; and then we saw the white of his palm made dark with blood.

'My God!' he said then.

Dainty shrieked.

'Bring a light!' said Mrs Sucksby. 'Bring a light!'

John caught up the lamp and held it, shaking. The dark blood turned suddenly crimson. Gentleman's waistcoat and trousers were soaked with it, and Mrs Sucksby's taffeta gown was red and running where she had held him.

I had never seen blood run so freely. I had talked, an hour before, of murdering Maud. I had sharpened the knife. I had left the knife upon the table. It was not there now. I had never seen blood run, like this. I grew sick.