Finding Susan (16 page)

“What is it now?” Blake said. He didn’t sound annoyed, but he did sound wary.

“I was just thinking about how stupid everything is,” she said.

“’Bout time we could agree on a topic.”

Something snapped in a nearby tree - it sounded louder than a few twigs. Kate looked left and right, but couldn’t determine just where the sound had come from. She turned to stop Blake, but he was already still and quiet, in deep concentration.
 

“Maybe too loud to be the duck,” he whispered.
 

“But it was something. We have to be careful. And quiet,” Kate whispered back.
 

“I bet that duck has gathered reinforcements and is going to launch an offensive any moment now.”

“We’re tough. We’ll make duck soup out of them!”

***
***
***

Joe Bob hunkered down amongst branches and fallen leaves, his 30.06 balanced on a tree stump. A pair of squirrels were congregating right in sight, crisscrossing in front of his gun. Once one of them stopped, as he was sure it would, he’d take it right out of this world. It was the only thing that offered him any respite from the pressures of the day. Taking care of another human being, keeping her alive and secret, was hard work. He hadn’t realized how much harder it would be than the animals he usually kept in his basement.
 

His thoughts were on her, and on old Gladys’s house just a mile away, and on all the land that lay between it and Mr. Sticha’s property that should be his, when Kate Becker and the cop walked right into his line of fire. He almost gasped, but held himself in check. He kept his body stock still, even missing the chance to get his squirrel.
 

Kate stopped, and looked around. Joe was sure that for a moment she caught a look at him, but just didn’t see. That was fortunate. He really didn’t want to talk to them right now. He had things to do. He waited for the two to pass, bantering nonsensically as they did. He would keep this in mind, though. They were getting too close for comfort.

Chapter Nine

Kate turned to Blake and said, with an expression that made clear her absolute seriousness, “That duck is toying with us.”

“Kate, it’s a duck.”

“No, this is something more. Look out there - he knows we’re watching.”

Either Kate was taking this time to relive their childhood after some bizarre fashion, or she was really losing it. They were hidden behind a row of bushes right next to a thick marsh. They’d spread out their blanket and had their lunch and talked for an hour, and then, suddenly, the duck showed up. The river fed right through the little canyon, catching enough into a basin to make a pond of sorts, and there sat the duck, on top of the mucky little swamp, floating in place with a content look on its bill.
 

Blake was tired of the whole experience. Since he’d moved back to Whispering Pines, he’d been out in the woods twice to assist search and rescue times, and he’d discovered that his childhood fascination with the place really did belong back in childhood. Right now all it represented was mosquito bites, ruined shoes and a strange funk everywhere, where plants and animals were always dying.
 

It wasn’t all like that, though - just the places a lawman was likely to go, and the places that Kate seemed to enjoy. The two of them were crouching right now at the base of a tiny hill, the top of which was green and largely devoid of the muck and filth that washed up at the banks of the little swamp. Naturally, Kate wanted no part of it.

“Look, Kate, I’m heading up there. Maybe we can come up with some method of snaring the duck. Or luring him. Do you know how to look like a lady duck?”

“I think it
is
a lady duck. Anyway, suit yourself. I just wanted you along for your looks. Y’know, to keep the journey from being boring.”

Blake didn’t return Kate’s smile, but instead he started up the steep incline to the top of the hill. Kate pulled off her backpack and put it down, then she went out from behind the bushes.
 

“Kate, what are you doing?” Blake asked. Kate walked up to the bank of the marsh and pulled off her shoes and socks. “Oh, come on!” Blake said.

“Somebody has to show that duck he can’t steal from humans with impunity. That duck is not above the law. We have to demonstrate species dominance here, Blake. Besides, I loved to do this when we were kids.”

“There’ll be leeches in there.”

“Nonsense. And anyway, I’m keeping my clothes on.”

“That doesn’t make sense either,” Blake said.
 

Kate gave him a dispassionate look.
 
Looking around, she noticed no sign of the duck.

“He’s gone!”

“You scared him off.”

“Hey, how am I going to catch a duck who isn’t there?” she said mournfully.
 

“It won’t be easy,” Blake said, sounding just a bit caustic. “But I’m sure you’ll manage.”

“Shall I go in?”

“No.”

“Spoil sport.”

“Okay, go in. But take your clothes off first unless you want to walk back all soggy and dripping with river weeds and pollywogs.”

“If you’re not going to help, I’m certainly not going to turn into a walking peep show to entice you. Get up that hill, grandpa, you’re slowing me down.” Kate cracked her knuckles, looked at Blake with a superior expression, and put a couple of toes into the water.
 

“Wow that’s cold!” she called, jumping back. Blake stifled a laugh - Kate could have a sense of humor about a lot of things, but he knew that when she was really trying to do something she wasn’t going to appreciate any humor at her expense.
 

“Hey, what’s this?”

“What?” Blake said. He wasn’t going to come near her - she would push him in without giving it a second thought, he was sure. Kate bent over and picked something out of the mud and tossed it to Blake. He caught it and took a close look. “Spark plug.”

“Litterers,” she said. “Looks like somebody dragged something through here, too.” She pointed at the ground, and even from where Blake was standing he could see the grooves dug into the ground. “I bet they dumped it in the swamp. Maybe I’ll try and clean things up while I’m in there.”

“You have to go into the swamp before you can do any of that,” Blake said. “Will you get away from the edge? You’re going to…”

“There he is!
 
There’s the duck!”

Those were the last words she spoke before taking a header into the cold, clammy swamp. Blake yelled and came running and she bobbed up in the water and cried out, then went down again. By the time he got her back up on the bank and took off his own shirt in order to dry her off, the duck was long gone.

***
***
***

“We have to go back.”

Blake turned and glared at Kate. She was sitting on his couch, wrapped in his thickest robe, and still shivering even after the warm shower.
 

“Not today,” he said.

She frowned. “I’ve been thinking. That duck knows what he’s doing. He was trying to lead us to….” She stopped. She couldn’t say Susan’s name all of a sudden.
 

“To what?”

She looked up at him and tried to smile, but tears were filling her eyes. She knew now what had been bothering her ever since she’d come back to this valley. Susan had come back. The locket proved it. But she wasn’t anywhere now, and no one had seen her. That meant something bad had happened to her. Something very bad. She was the big sister. She was supposed to protect Susan, make sure she didn’t get into trouble. Somehow, somewhere, that goal had been lost. She hadn’t been taking care of business. It was all her fault. She knew Susan was weak, that she couldn’t withstand temptations or promises of excitement, that she reached for shiny things. And where was Kate? Why hadn’t she protected her?

“Hey.” Blake saw how miserable she looked and he dropped down to sit beside her. “Cheer up. Always remember what Scarlett O’Hara said.”

She frowned. “What did she say?”

“I’ll cry tomorrow.”

“Oh, right.” She sighed. “Tomorrow is another day.”

“Exactly.”

“Wow Blake. That did it. Cheered me right up. Now I can go on with my worthless life with a smile on my face.”

He looked at her for a moment, then took her head in his hands, staring down into her eyes, his empathy for her suddenly surging in his chest. “You’re life isn’t worthless, Kate,” he told her softly. “In fact, just the reality that you are here has changed my life for the better. That’s got to be worth something.”

She stared up at him. For once, he seemed to be sincere, but she was afraid to take it as such. What if she answered in kind and it turned out he was just kidding? What if she told him about how she really felt about him and he laughed at her? It would be little Debbie Do Right all over again.

She opened her mouth to say something smart-alecky, but once he saw what she was about to do, he kissed her quick. He’d begun to realize that really was the best way to shut her up.
 

“Blake,” she began when he drew back, and he kissed her again. He wasn’t going to let her ruin everything.

“Oh,” she said, a little sound deep in her throat, and this time she let herself sink into it. His mouth was hot and getting sort of urgent and her pulse was beginning to race.
 

She should stop him. She needed to stop him. But it felt so good. Was this what it felt like to be loved? At least for the moment. She stopped thinking about how she was going to stop him and began to kiss him back.

“Are you going to start talking again?”

“Of course, but…”

He kissed her again, but just long enough to make her blink and forget what she’d meant to say.

“I want you to be quiet,” he told her. “I want to have a little space so that I can say something for a change. Okay?”

“But…”

Once again, his mouth landed on hers.

“Hush,” he said this time, and she nodded reluctantly.

“Okay, I just want to say this. I’ve been watching you today, and thinking about you and how you’ve been reacting to things. It would be easy to just say you’re a little nuts and let it go.”

She started to speak and he put his index finger over her lips, stopping her.
 

“But I’ve got a theory. Let me tell you what it is. Then it will be your turn to talk. Okay?”

Slowly, she nodded.
 

“Here it is.”

He took her hand in his and kissed her palm, then looked up into her eyes. “You have a little dream in there, don’t you? A little dream. You want to find Susan and you want to take us all back in time and be the kids we used to be. Isn’t that your goal?”

“I…” She’d started to protest, but she stopped and thought about it for a minute. There was some truth in what he’d said. She hadn’t even realized it herself. That was the reason she’d come back here. She wanted to recreate the past.
 

And that was clearly crazy. You couldn’t recreate the past. It wouldn’t even be good for you if you did do it. You had to move on with the times.
 

But maybe you could recreate some of the emotions of the past. Somehow. She took a deep breath. It looked like he was going to give her a little space to say something and she wasn’t going to miss it.
 

“You get it. That’s exactly what I want. Wow.” She shook her head. She’d started out meaning to kid him, but somehow those emotions she was talking about caught in her throat and before she could say more, she was crying again. She looked at him, her lower lip trembling. “Blake, even with Aunt Gladys and everything else, those were the happiest days of my life. I had a family. And now, I..I…I’ve got nobody.”

Affection for this supposedly tough little cookie filled his heart. That couldn’t be right. She must have had others in her life over the years. He reached out to wipe away the tears streaming down her cheeks.

“But, you’ve been in San Francisco for ages. Haven’t you developed any relationships?”

She took in a deep, shuddering breath. “I try. But somehow, something in me just doesn’t connect.” She tried to smile. “I don’t know. Maybe everyone takes my jokes too seriously. I don’t know.”

He pulled her close and held her.
 

“I do want what we had growing up,” she went on, her face against his chest.
 
“I want to feel a part of a place, to be where people know who I am and remember who I used to be. I want to live in a place where, if I end up falling and breaking my neck in my own kitchen, someone will notice that I didn’t show up for my morning latte. That just doesn’t happen in the city.”

He dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “That’s why you have to build your own community.”

“Yeah. Sure.” He was right. But there was more to it. She looked up at him. “Where’s your community, Blake?”

He looked into her beautiful eyes. She had a point. He’d come back in body, but how about the soul? He’d returned to heal and hide, and in all this time, he hadn’t found a group of people to share his life with. What was he waiting for?

“No close friends, right?” she said, eyebrows rising.
 

“What do you think, Kate?” His mouth twisted cynically. “You want to be my friend?”

She stared at him for a long moment, then leaned forward and kissed him on the mouth. “I
am
your friend, numbskull. That’s what I’m doing here.”

***
***
***

They went to Hank Peter’s store and bought eggs and a pint of ice cream. Mr. Peters was friendly enough this time, acting as though he was happy to see them. They went back to Blake’s apartment and sat back on the couch and shared some of the ice cream. And they talked. On and on. As though they had ten years of things saved up to say to each other.
 

And then they went back to analyzing each other and finished off the rest of the ice cream.

“Blake,” she said slowly as he filled the bowls. “I need to tell you something.”

He looked up, his gaze suddenly wary.

“What?” he said gruffly.
 

She took a deep breath. “I was kind of mean last night. Saying you were gorging on self-pity.”