Finding North (Naïve Mistakes Series) (15 page)

"Everything OK?"

"Yes, everything's fine." He forced a smile, sat down on the floor with his back to my nightstand, put the glass of water down for me.

Somehow I didn't believe him. I hated this. Hated this feeling of complete helplessness, complete vulnerability. Here I was, unable to move, staring up at a ceiling, an odd tension being oozed into the room by my...boyfriend?
Was
he my boyfriend?

Perhaps all of that made my next statement come out a little too forcefully: "Conall, speak to me. Please."

From the corner of my eye I saw his head turn to me. "Does my brother have anything to do with your friend crying today?" he said.

It was suddenly clear that he'd actually had zero interest in the buff-dude posters on my wall but that he'd just been evading the subject. The subject of his brother. The one who introduced "His North" to the drugs that killed her. The one I asked about after he'd insisted on getting an answer to how my friend Kayla was doing.

The one he was probably talking to downstairs on the phone when he'd "gone to get my water."

"No, he didn't have anything to do with it. I mean, as far as I know... It was that he was there and I was just wondering..."

"At that party?"

"Yes."

"And you were wondering what? If there was a connection?"

"Look, Conall, he was just there. I was... I don't know what I was doing. She told me some things... They were so awful..." I thought back to them. "God, this world. It's fucking insane. And then Paul dying and
—"

"Wait, say what?"

"Paul, one of my many stepdads, died yesterday."

"My God, Leora!" He sat straighter.

"No, no, it's not that bad. I mean, it is. My mom is taking it badly— Look, Conall, I've had several stepdads. Each of them was like a piece of furniture to me. One of them I didn't even meet! My dad has always been my dad. I saw him often. These other guys, well..."

"But still, Leora, you knew him. He
died
!"

"I know. I should feel bad about it. But I don't. What I feel bad about is..." I forgot my back, tried to turn. "Ow! Fuck!" Stopped turning. "I feel bad about this one person that, somehow, in my mind, seems to be the cause of everything bad that happens to everyone I love."

"This person had something to do with your stepfather's death?"

"No, I mean, yes! Damn it! I don't know!"

"Leora, if you just told me what was happening I could help, or at least understand myself."

I couldn't tell him what Kayla had told me. But I could tell him this: "There's a dealer here. His name is Raphael Varela. He
— Let's put it this way: He seems to have undue influence in my school, and with people I know. And I have no clue if Paul died because of him because I don't know shit about the underground drug scene. But I do know that Raphael keeps popping up where he shouldn't be. And that he is a disgusting man. And that he hurts people." I paused and thought. "And that I'm gonna fucking kill him if I get the chance." I didn't mean that last statement, but I sure felt like saying it.

Conall said nothing for a while. "This Varela guy, he was at that party where my brother was?"

"It was his party, at his place."

"I see."

Then he went quiet. So did I for a while.

"Some date, huh?" I finally said.

"Takes the cake."

"Conall, there
is
one more thing..."

His face went cold.

"The girl who pushed me at school kinda thought I was dating your brother and then I said some stupid things and—"

"That's it!" Something snapped in him. I should have seen it. Looking back, I
should
have! But I didn't at the time. Before I knew it, he'd gotten up and stormed out.

"Conall, wait!"

I tried to move. It hurt so fucking bad that I felt like a total idiot for not getting those painkillers. I rammed through the lightning bolts of pain being shot down my spine and forced myself to sit up. It didn't last very long. I started to see spots. I passed out.

-5-

"Finally, you're awake. You know that I could be getting laid now?
Hard
?" It was Kayla's voice.

"Huh? What?" I said. "Wh
—where's Conall?"

"Dunno. Loverboy had some emergency to deal with. Said it was a 'family' issue or something. So he called me. (You really should put a pin on your phone by the way. Who knows what people could look at on there.) I AM HERE He didn't wanna leave you alone. He told me you'd passed out but that the doctor said it could happen without the pain killers. Why didn't you take those frickin painkillers?"

"Never mind." I tried to get myself up again. The pain was unbearable. Stampeding elephants on my back is what is was. "Fuck." I fell back down. "Where's my phone?"

"I have it. Sorry, I was looking for nude photos of Mr. Williams here. You really have nothing interesting on here, you know?" She threw it at me.

I called Conall. No answer. Called him again. No answer. Called him a third time!

"What's the problem?" asked Kayla.

"I don't know. Something tells me he's about to go do something to his brother... Or his brother's dealer."

"And who's his brother's dealer?"

My look at Kayla said all it needed to.

"Oh, shit," she said. "I'm calling Brad."

"Help me get the fuck up first, please."

Eventually I found that only certain movements killed like a bitch. And if I walked like a old hag that I could actually manage it. Real slowly.

Yeah, this was gonna be something like
Stop! Or my Grandma will Shoot
.

"I actually did get that prescription written, by the way. The doctor insisted. I just didn't want to pick up the drugs."

"Well, let's go then, Wicked Witch of the West. All you need is a broom and you're all set."

"Do you joke at every possible occasion?"

"Yes. I'm thinking about my future wrinkly face. Imagine all the money I'll save on not needing Botox because I don't frown so much."

-6-

After stopping by the drugstore (and popping the required number of pills) there was only one place I thought of to start looking. Hotel Houston.

Leroy dropped us off at a bar by
Cringe
which is where we told him we were going. We took a few back roads and were at Hotel Houston twenty minutes later. The pain in my back was dull now, but still there.

Brad met us there. With two of his cronies.

I'm gonna end up in jail tonight. Or on some dealer's hit list
, I thought.
Or fucking dead.

"What's this?" I asked Kayla. I'd asked her not to call Brad.

"I took initiative."

"Raphael will feel unthreatened by two girls. He won't act stupid. But three burly guys might make him take some dumbass action. I don't know, like
kill
them?"

"They can wait outside. But I'm not going there alone." Kayla's eyes flicked away briefly.

"OK, fine. They wait outside the hotel room.
Out of view!
"

Brad kissed Kayla in a way that said all it needed to about their relationship. They were going steady. No doubt they'd told each other they were "boyfriend and girlfriend" and here I was risking my neck for a guy who was leaving me in three days. (And a guy who made me feel like my empty world was full.)

Kayla and I went up.

"Is that music?" I asked her as we approached the door.

"Yeah."

"Does this guy ever not party?"

She shook her head.

I banged on the door. No answer. (Of course not. Who would hear it?)

We walked in and dread sank in my stomach like hot lead. It was almost the same scene as Friday. Bimbos at the bar, two of them topless. A guy was getting a lap-dance on a one-seater at the back. A different fat pig was warming up to one of the ladies by the bar. (No doubt a lady who was being paid for her services.)

"You know what makes this even more sick?" said Kayla. "These girls were probably sent here by mom. If only she knew..."

"Hey,
chickitas
! Nice to see you both here!" Raphael's voice behind us made it feel like goo was dripping all over my skin. Dirty goo. Icky goo.

His hands were soon around our arms and he pushed us together in an embrace. I almost hurled.

I shot forward and turned but I couldn't hide my grimace from the sudden pain in my back. Dulled, but no less there. "We're looking for someone. That's all."

"Oh, dear, we are all looking for somebody. Not so my little Kayley Baby?" He had her tucked into his chest, completely dominating her with his size. Kayla was a
quivering wreck, coiled and looking down. Paralyzed with fear. It was clearer now what had happened to her on Friday, how she'd lost control. He had the sadistic hold of a sordid puppet-master on her.

I yanked her away from him. My tough-girl friend was someone else entirely now. A little girl. A fragile breakable girl. I pushed her behind me. "It's OK, Kayla. It's OK."

"Oooh, I like a dominant woman." He grabbed a champagne glass from one of his escort-cocktail-waitresses, took a sip and put it back. "May I offer you a drink?" He said, holding out a glass.

I wanted to kick him in the balls. But that would be a bad move. "I just want to know where
—?"

And then the door flung open, and there was Conall, rage burning in his eyes, his chest heaving up and down. His fists clenched.

And there was blood on his shirt. And on his hands.

Oh. Fuck. What has he done?

-1-

"Are you Raphael?" asked Conall, his bloody finger pointing at Raphael who'd turned to face the door. Conall's hands were shaking. He hadn't seen us yet.

"My my my, you look familiar," said Raphael in a sickeningly ingratiating tone. "I would say you are the illustrious good brother of Mr. Francis Williams. He's a good client, you know?"

And that's when all hell broke loose. Wrong thing to say, bud.

Conall flung for Raphael and landed him in the jaw. Raphael went sprawling back against the bar, his eyes rolled back.

Conall jumped for him!

"No!" I cried, getting in his way.

"Leora, what the fuck?" His face was incredulous. "Kay—
Kayla
? What the hell are—?"

He didn't finish. Raphael growled and slammed Conall into the wall, held him up there! Conall paneled him in the back but Raphael was also very big. Raphael's shirt came off. He had scars everywhere, snake tattoos. Brad and the other two guys came running in. They ran for Raphael and pulled him off Conall. Conall stood while the two men held Raphael back by his arms.   

"No!" cried Conall. "Let him go. This is one on one. Leora, go outside."

It sounded like a good fucking idea to me. I took Kayla by the waist. She was shaking. We got to the door and I saw Conall swing for Raphael, missed! The other three guys separated the rest of the party from the two men fighting.

"What's dis about, British Boy? The pussy of your girlfriend? Is Kayla your girlfriend? Or the sexy brunette?"

Conall charged! Raphael used Conall's own body weight to fling him to the ground. Conall hit the bar. Glasses smashed down. Raphael kicked him in the ribs. Conall grabbed his swinging foot and Conall fell on his back, smashing through a glass table! Both men kicked and punched and struggled on the floor. People started leaving, sniffing their noses as
they got away. Coke addicts.

Don't wanna be around when the cops arrive, do you?
, I thought.

Although, no one would have called the cops because they were all doing drugs! I took out my phone, started dialing. Kayla's hand grabbed mine, pushed it down. She pointed to the scuffle.

Conall had somehow gotten Raphael by the neck and pinned against a wall. Raphael was dazed. Conall's right fist was set and back, ready for a final punch!

"Now you listen and you listen good! If you so much as
breath
in my brother's direction I swear to fucking God Almighty or the Devil himself that I will come and find you. I will
hunt
you down. I will
search for you
in every apartment, every corner,
every fucking harbor
in this city or another! And then I will tie you to a chair, kick your fucking knee caps in, cut your goddamn balls off and let you sleep in your own shit and piss until you die."

Wow. That was hot.

Raphael was passing out, blood dripping from his lip, his nose. There was blood fucking everywhere.

Conall slammed him against the wall to wake
him up. "Are you listening!?"

Raphael roused. He spat at Conall!

Conall just stood there, breathing, his back bulging below his shirt. "You got no fucking clue who I am do you?" Conall said. "No idea. Listen fuckturd, you might be big time news down here in the rich side of the world but you are
nothing
where I come from. How's Stephen Jenkins doing? Does he know you got involved with the Williams family? You know, his advertisers are more important to him than your stash. And whereas the cops might be in your back pocket, public opinion is not. And our account could 'persuade' him to run a story on your establishment here. Names. Pictures.
Witnesses.
"

Raphael suddenly paid a little more attention.

"Tell him Conall Williams is unhappy with your method of doing business. And just in case you get any ideas: If you ever so much as sniff the same air as me, my girlfriend, or her best friend, Kayla, I will tell him myself. Yes, that's right. He and I go
way
back. We've been watching you a long time amigo. This is bigger than you. Bigger than me. There are people involved here who will go to the ends of the earth to watch you fall. Heck, now that I think about it. I think we'll do that anyway.
Comprende, amigo
?"

"Fuck you," he said, but there was fear in his eyes, begrudged fear. Gone was the smirk, the tough guy attitude. "You talkin bullshit."

Conall
thwacked
Raphael's head against the wall! He put his lips close to his ear and said, "Fucking try me." Then he dropped him. Raphael stood unsteadily by the wall. The whole place was empty except for Raphael and us.

"You better pray that
all
the cops are in your pocket. Because I'm calling them now. And the press. Story runs tomorrow." He held the phone to his ear, started walking away. Then turned to face Raphael. "Or do we have a deal?" he asked. "Stay away from my brother. Stay away from all the people in this room or anyone ten degrees removed!"

Damn it! Conall was in my way. I couldn't see! I rushed in to get a look around him.

Raphael was staring at him, then looked at me. He nodded.

Conall turned off the call. "Pleasure doing business with you," he said.

-2-

Two things were going through mind as we all stood there in stunned silence, the only two people seeming to know what the fuck was going on being Conall and Raphael.

One: No wonder his company paid him the big bucks. This dude could
negotiate
!

And two: He'd called me his
girlfriend
!

Conall turned around, put his arm around my waist and we walked out. When we got outside and the door closed, his tough-guy attitude changed to one of grimacing pain. He flicked his hand once. "Damn it," he said, his fingers dangling.

The seven of us got in the elevator: Me, Kayla, Conall, Brad, and his two cronies.

"Damn, bro. You should also come to the fuckin Block Party this Friday. We got an amateur boxing competition we'll be holding!"

"No thanks, I'm good," he said.

"Where did all the blood come from earlier?" I asked Conall.

"I broke my brother's nose."

One more thing was going through my mind now:
Damn
!

-3-

In the limo, Brad had his arm around Kayla's shoulders. She was quiet, still in shock. His cronies had taken his car and he was gonna spend the night at her place. My friend who was "definitely not dating" this guy, snuggled up to his chest and closed her eyes. He held her close.

All the walking had turned the drug-deadened sharpness of pain to a constant throb that was taking over the middle of my back. I knew I was in no shape to sleep with Conall. But that wouldn't stop me being naked with him in bed. That's all I wanted, to lie with him, be held by him. And to hold him back.

I thought of my lonely apartment waiting for me. Nothing to keep me company but bad-boy posters and my goddamn dumbbells.

I gazed up at Conall. "Can I sleep at your place tonight?" I whispered.

"I was hoping you'd ask."

-4-

We barely entered his apartment and Conall spread his hands around my waist from behind. I heard the door click shut and closed my eyes, ready for anything he wanted to do to me now. I knew he'd play it "safe" and not sleep with me. But I also knew that I needed him, needed his comfort.

He took out his iPhone and put on a song, laid the iPhone on the table.

"More
Soundgarden
?" I asked.

"No, Christina Perri.
A Thousand Years
."

I gave a surprised "huh!" This was just too fucking romantic.

"Sorry, I was snooping your iPhone while waiting for Kayla. I bought a few of the songs you had on there. It's time to try something new."

"You bought the fucking
Twilight
soundtrack to try something new?"

"Could you shut up now? I'm trying to create a mood here..."

I felt his stubbled cheek scrape against my neck and a chill ran down my left side, down to my toes. My leg gave an involuntary twitch. He pushed me forward to the table (yes,
that
table. My new best friend table!) and rested my hands on it, pressed up against me, rubbing my butt with his pelvis. I gave a groan of pain from my back and he eased up a little. I snatched his fingers to indicate he shouldn't stop.

He nuzzled my neck, pulled my tee down and eased his hand around the skin of my shoulder, kissed it. "Conall?"

"Yes."

"I need to sit."

The pain was returning, but I didn't want to deaden it. If it all came back, we'd do nothing together. But as it was now, I could at least feel him closer, free from the haze of painkillers.

The pain also made it feel real. Like this was really happening.

He intertwined his hand into mine and guided me to his room, eased me onto the lush comforter. He got on top of me, his legs straddling my waist, moved down to kiss my neck. Sparks of pain fired down my spine, charging the bruised area to life. It made me clutch his waist, holding on to something.

"You know we can't have sex tonight. I'm not going to risk that," he said.

Damn it!

I nodded, then said quietly. "I know. But we can do a whole lot of other things. Only it's my turn this time."

I put my hand on his chest, pushed him slowly to his back, lifted his shirt off. Ripped muscles from years of training formed a hilled landscape that I began to kiss. First the top of his chest, just a peck, then with my tongue on his nipple, then lower down.

My back throbbed. I sat up, unbuckled his pants, started to pull them down with difficulty but he pulled them off for me after he saw me grimace. I massaged him between his legs, slowly. He breathed in deeply with a quiver. I moved my head down, licked the length o
f him with the tip of my tongue, from the bottom to the very top. He jerked, pulsed. I put my tongue around him, letting my saliva fall and wet him until my lips glided easily, up and down, then around. Then I licked him right at the top with the tip of my tongue. His legs moved left and right. I put my hand around him and squeezed, pumped him, slowly, feeling all of him throb underneath my palm.

I
buried
him into me, felt him all the way to the back of my throat, squeezed with my lips and pulled. Then again. And again. I could feel his breath quicken. I massaged him while he groaned and felt the sudden throbbing and shaking just before final climax. He jerked my head away before just before he came, made me pull up and down aggressively until final
explosion
.

Even while he was coming, groaning, he made me move my hand up a
nd down the length of him until, finally, he made me stop at the bottom, just before the end, squeezed my hand below his, showing me, stretched his skin taut, and then had me shake him as the last bits of pleasure escaped him.

He exhaled. I moved my head
back down, licked him, his abs. Just a little, just enough to taste his sweetness.

I lay back next to him, my hand still
massaging as I watched his muscles relax.

I was hot as hell, but my back was in so much pain I couldn't even think of making myself come, never mind getting him to do it.

I put my head on his shoulder, thinking of him and me together, aching with every part of me to have him inside me, to feel that explosion deep within me.

I bit his shoulder, trying not to show my emotions, clutched his thigh.

Conall turned to me, took my hand and put it between my legs. I was soaking. "I won't do it because I don't want to hurt you. But if you want to, I'll keep my hand above yours all the time, and kiss your neck, and your ears, and your shoulder..."

I wanted to.

And I did.

And it was fucking awesome.