Read Finding My Way Online

Authors: Heidi McLaughlin

Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Contemporary Fiction

Finding My Way (7 page)

But I can’t say that because my father won’t shut up. He keeps talking like the NFL is the only option that I don’t need a college education because nothing is going to happen to me. How does he know that?

The man behind the desk wants me to commit today and if Sterling has his way, I’ll be signing before I leave here. Except I can’t and I seem to be the only one who knows this. There are rules and regulations and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let some overzealous legend ruin my eligibility status. I’ve read the rules. I’ve watched the films. I know what I’m allowed to do and what will get me in trouble.

I look down at my pants and remember what I was doing in them when I last wore them; they were around my ankles, just a few nights ago. I can still see her sitting on top of me, working us into a heated frenzy. She looked beyond sexy riding me with her tiara on top of her head. My very own queen.

“What do you think, Liam?”

My head jerks up at the sound of my name. “I’m sorry, what?” I don’t dare to look over at Sterling. I can feel his scowl already glaring at me.

“What do you think? Are you ready to become a Tiger?” Tigers, oh yes. It’s all coming back to me now. My legit attempt to avoid coming to Auburn failed miserably. Because here I sit while my dad discusses my future with his alma mater, not giving a shit about what I think.

I told my dad no, that Auburn was not on my list. He didn’t listen and booked me for a visit anyway. It wasn’t until we landed did I realize what he had done. And what am I going to do, call my mother? No, I can’t do that and he knows it. So here I sit, zoning out of a conversation about my future because right now I just don’t care.

“Liam?”

I roll my eyes and sit up in the chair. I run my hands down my pants. “I’m not sure what I think,” I answer as I clear my throat. “I’m eighteen years old and all I’ve known is football and I feel pretty damn lucky to have my choice of colleges, but with that choice comes a lot of responsibility. I think before I put my name down or verbally commit to someplace I need to know the teammates. I need to know that they’re one hundred percent committed to winning just as I am. I’ve never lost and I know that’s unrealistic when I get to college, but I want to win. I want the Heisman and a BCS Championship and if Auburn and Tennessee can’t offer me that, but Ole Miss can, I’m taking my game to Ole Miss.” Sterling stiffens next to me and I know that a lashing is coming. Maybe he’ll grow a set and hit me so I can beat the shit out of him. Honestly, I’m surprised he hasn’t tried yet.

The coach sits back in his chair and rubs his chin contemplating the fact that I just told him if he can’t guarantee me everything that I want, I’m not coming here. I’m not going to sign my life away for four years without meeting the team. Without having some type of workout with them. I know it can’t happen on campus, but I can definitely make time to meet them at the park for a little flag football.

“You have a very vocal son, Sterling. I have to say, I’m shocked.”

I bite the inside of my cheek and wait for whatever my dad has to say. He grunts and clears his throat.

“The boy is foolish and doesn’t know what he wants.”

I roll my eyes and keep my gaze on the orange carpet.

“He’s dreamed all his life about being a Tiger. He’s just listening too much to these other colleges feeding his mind with empty promises. Don’t you worry, Hal, Liam will pick Auburn on signing day.”

No, Hal, you
should
worry because I most definitely will not be picking Auburn on signing day. My dad thanks Hal and they promise to get together soon for a round of golf. It must suck having to kiss everyone’s ass all the time and while it should be my dad kissing Hal’s, it’s not. Hal wants me to suit up for him and that’s just not going to happen.

The car ride is silent. I watch the scenery as we drive to the next university. The radio is on NPR or some other political talk radio that I care nothing about. I just want to go home, back to Beaumont and Josie. I wish she could’ve come with me on these trips, but since one of my parents has to be present I knew it would never happen. But having her here would make the decision so much easier. I’m going to ask her if she’ll apply to wherever I decide to go. I know it’s a long shot, but I don’t think I can be away from her. Not like this.

I close my eyes and block out the noise from the road. My head rests against the window as he speeds down the highway. My life was supposed to be simple and I thought it was until recently. Now nothing makes sense. Last year if you’ve asked me about college, I could rattle off a million things I want to do with the NFL being my top priority. Ask me now and the answer is going to shock you.

“We’re here.” His voice is gruff and full of anger. The University of Alabama is not on his radar, but they’re on mine. We get out and he straightens his jacket immediately, sucking in his gut as a group of girls walk by. I shake my head and walk ahead of him.

“Now any one of those girls is worth bringing home.”

I stop and look at their retreating backsides. “Really? They’re colors are crimson and white and I thought for sure you only saw blue and orange.”

“You’re looking at this the wrong, Liam. If you go to Auburn, you’ll have special liberties that others won’t.”

I shake my head. “I don’t want special liberties. I want to earn my achievements on my own merit. And I don’t want one of those.” I point to the girls. “What makes them any better, huh?”

“They’re here getting an education.”

“So? Josie’s going to college.”

He scoffs. “She’s waiting until the right moment to get pregnant so you have to support her for the next eighteen years.” He walks away before I can give a rebuttal, which is probably for the best because the next thing out of my mouth would’ve been, “
so what if she is
” and something tells me that Sterling wouldn’t appreciate that too much.

Chapter 13

B
eing called out of class and told to report to the principal’s office is never a good feeling. I rack my brain as I walk to the office. I know I’m passing all my classes and all my absences from this week have been excused. I can’t imagine that I’ve done something so wrong that I’d have to meet with the principal.

I open the door to the office and stand at the counter while the secretary files her nails. She looks up, snapping her lips as if she’s moving her false teeth back and forth. Why they keep her around is beyond me. You can’t understand her when she talks and her hearing is too far gone to hear the phone ring. She motions for me to go into the office, not even calling the principal and tell her I’m coming.

I knock once and open the door. Mrs. Craft is sitting behind her desk, her head down and fingers flipping through a magazine. “Mrs. Craft I got a message to see you.”

She looks up and smiles. “Oh yes, Liam, come in and sit down.” I do as she asks. I bite my lip and wait for her to deliver the bad news. Only she doesn’t. She continues to look through her magazine while I sit across from her not knowing what’s going on.

The door opens. I turn and see my coach walk in. He’s not smiling and that puts me on edge. His normal smile when he sees me is gone. I don’t even know what to think or what I’ve done to be called down here. He nods in my direction and steps aside so a man in a dark blue business suit can enter.

“What’s going on?” I ask, my nerves on edge.

“Liam,” Mrs. Craft says. “Coach Randall has some news.”

I turn in my chair and look at my coach for some help here. He smiles and while that would normally put me at ease, it doesn’t help with my anxiety. “Liam, I’ve never had a player like you and I probably never will. Last year you came so close to making the cover of
Sports Illustrated
that when they called this year I did everything I could to make it happen. Son, let me introduce you to Chris Bailey, he’s a sports writer and he’s here to interview you.”

I stand and shake his hand, probably a bit too eagerly. This has been a dream of mine since they started profiling high school students.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Mr. Bailey.”

“You too, Liam, but please call me Chris. Do you need your parents here while we do the interview?”

Hell no, I want to yell, but don’t. “No, Sir, Coach can stay.”

“All right well let’s get started, shall we?”

The three of us move Mrs. Craft’s chairs into a circle and start talking. I like that coach stayed here with me and made sure I didn’t answer anything I wasn’t supposed to. To be honest, I was nervous the whole time, but when Mr. Bailey said he had everything and would be sending a photographer to take my pictures I think I smiled so big that I stretched the muscles in my face to permanently look like this.

As soon as I leave the office, the class bell rings. I rush to meet Josie. I’m excited to share the news with her.

“Guess what?” I say as I wrap my arms around her. I nuzzle her neck, disrupting her attempt at putting her books away.

“What?”

“Someone is going to be on the cover of
Sports Illustrated
.”

Josie pauses and turns slowly. Her face lights up as her arms come around my neck. “I’m so proud of you.”

“I couldn’t have done it without my girl,” I say, kissing her full on the lips. She tenses, afraid to get caught, but I’ll take the blame if we do. They can suspend me for all I care. I need to kiss my girl.

“We should go celebrate,” she says, pulling away.

“What are you thinking?” I ask, raising my eyebrows. She smacks me in the chest. I can’t help it. She’s sexy and she turns me on. But she wants it too. She shrugs and pushes her fingers into my hair, adding more pressure where my hair was recently shaved. I close my eyes and relish in the massage she’s giving me.

“Are your parents’ home?” I look into her blue eyes and see the answer before she shakes her head. I don’t say anything as I slam her locker shut and pull her down the hall.

“W
ant to go meet Mason and Katelyn?” Josie plays with the hair on my arm, her fingers rubbing up and down along my skin.

“I guess we should do something before your parents get home.”

“You mean like get dressed?” she laughs and rolls over in my arms. “I’m very proud of you, Liam. You set your goals and you’re achieving each one of them.”

“I couldn’t do it without you, Jojo.” I angle my head so I can kiss her deeply. When our tongues meet I have to control myself from picking up where we left off. Her parents may know we have sex, but getting caught by them isn’t something I’m comfortable with. “We should get dressed,” I say, in between the soft kisses I place on and around her lips. My hand slides down her body and slaps her ass. She smiles against my mouth before moving away.

“You’re trouble, Liam Westbury.” She stands next to her bed, naked as the day she was born. She watches me watch her and all I can think is what it’s going to be like to wake up to her every day. I need to find the courage to ask her to follow me to college because I don’t want to be away from her. I won’t be able to handle it. Right now, she’s the only person keeping me grounded.

Once she’s dressed, I finally move. Allowing my eyes to take in every one of her moves is bad news for me. I have to turn away from her, not so she can’t see what she does to me, but so she won’t ask to take care of me. We can pick this up later. Right now I want to take her out. Treat her right. Aside from homecoming, we haven’t been out on a date in a while. Football takes up so much of my time that it limits what I’m allowed to do, but not tonight. Tonight I’m going to hang out with my friends. Maybe catch a movie, have some dinner and just relax. There will be no need to talk about the future, football or what’s looming in front of us… the high school championship game.

As soon as my clothes are on, Josie and I are out the door and on our way to meet Mason and Katelyn at Deb’s. It’s an old diner that my parents hate and will probably ream me out for even stepping foot in, but the food is good and she doesn’t skimp on quantity. It’s the perfect place for growing men like Mason and myself.

When Josie and I walk in, Deb waves and motions to the booth where Katelyn and Mason are huddled in the corner. Sometimes, when I look at them, I think something’s up. Like they’re hiding something. If they are, I’m sure they’d tell us though, so I really need to stop letting my imagination run wild. I have no doubt they think the same thing about Josie and me.

Deb takes our order as soon as we sit down. We’ve been here so many times we have the menu memorized. My girl is tucked into my side with my arm resting on her shoulder. This feels good. It feels right. If I can stay like this forever, I’d have no worries.

“What are you both giggling about?” I ask, breaking up Katelyn and Mason’s interactions.

“Nothing,” he replies, as he kisses her on her forehead. “We’ve just been planning the future.” I roll my eyes and pick up the glass of water in front of me. The future is the last thing I want to talk about.

“Oh, I love the future talk. Tell me, what are we doing?” Josie asks.

Always ‘we’ never just ‘them’. We’re the foursome that’s destined to be together for the rest of our lives. It shouldn’t matter to me, but a little separation in life isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It allows us to grow, even though I know it’s not what I want. They’re my family. This is where I want to be.

“Well we were just thinking that it’d be nice if the guys got accepted to the same school and we could all go together,” Katelyn says. I agree with her, I’d love it. I’d give anything to continue to play with Mason for another four years. With me at the helm and the right blocking, we’d be unstoppable.

“Oh we could have a double wedding,” Josie adds. I almost choke on my water and have to try to hold in my coughing attack. I know I said I was going to marry her… someday, but I never said anything about planning a wedding.

“A football wedding is a must,” Mason adds. I shake my head and wonder what goes through his mind. He’s so whipped it’s not even funny. I know I am too, but I’m not about to start talking weddings and shit and I definitely don’t want a football themed wedding. I want to see my girl have the fairytale wedding she deserves.

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