Finding Home (12 page)

* * * *

One day until New Year’s Eve. It had been four days since Ben’s mystery visit to her uncle’s home, and Jessica hadn’t heard anything of him since. She’d managed to talk to Ellie, who said in giddy fashion that Ben had indeed made his way to Boston to find her, and that he had a surprise for her. When pressed, the older woman offered no more information.

That had been a few days ago. Jessica wondered if she should call again. She couldn’t figure out why Ben was here, but not here. Thankfully, dogs needed walking every day while their owners were on vacation, so she only had time to think about the mystery during her meal breaks and late at night, when it kept her awake for too long.

The only option that made sense was that Ben had traveled here then changed his mind. She shook her head while trying to keep Coonie at her heel. She had to admit, her life here wasn’t particularly glamorous. Stooping to pick up a steamy dog poop, she wrinkled her nose. Still, Ben should know better than most that done did what one had to in order to keep the money coming in. It wasn’t as if shoveling stalls was more appealing.

To keep Ben off her mind, she’d started visiting longer and longer with Mike at the end of each day. Her friend had pressed the first day but let it go soon enough. She dropped off Coonie and headed there now.

When Mike opened the door, he didn’t greet her with his customary hug and hair tousle. He didn’t say a word but gave her a serious glance then stepped aside, allowing her in.

“Mike, what’s—” Her words died in her throat as she witnessed a tired-looking Ben sitting on the leather couch in the center of the living area.

“I’ve found your boyfriend to be not entirely pleasant,” Mike said. “But we’ve talked it out, and I think we’ve come to an agreement.”

“Agreement?” Jessica asked, taking off her gloves and boots. She headed to the kitchen, too overwhelmed to face Ben in his current state. “What’s going on?” She rustled in the fridge and pulled out a beer, popping the top and taking a swig. She had a feeling this would take a while.

“Yeah, we’ve decided that he’s going to stop stalking me, and I’m not going to kill him.”

“Well, that sounds serious.” Jessica perched on the ottoman, placing the beer on the end table near her. “I have to admit,” she said, finally looking into Ben’s eyes, “I’d hoped for a happier reunion.”

“Me, too,” Ben said, clearing his throat. “It was supposed to be, and I let blind jealousy and stupidity get in the way.”

“Tell her,” Mike prodded, crossing his arms over his chest.

Ben took a deep breath, and the words started pouring out. Jessica struggled to keep up and not to stare at the perfect male form sitting in front of her. “I flew over here to see you, but when I couldn’t get ahold of you, I started thinking you’d used your family as an excuse to get me out of your life. Of course, by the time I’d decided that, I was already in the city, so I found your uncle’s place—”

“How?” Jessica didn’t recall telling the Elkers where her uncle lived.

“You’d mentioned you worked at a Shaws, so I scoured the area, looking for directions, looking for you.” He laughed without mirth. “I figured myself for a right detective.”

“Yeah, don’t quit your day job,” Mike quipped.

Ben shot him a look. “Anyway, a girl there found your contacts, and I met a cabbie who already knew you. He dropped me off at Travis’, but you weren’t in. When he said you’d gone to dinner on Newbury, I had Charlie drop me there. I was about to go in when I saw you through the windows with him.” Ben jacked his thumb at Mike.

“Oh no,” Jessica breathed.

Ben nodded. “And your hands were all over each other, and I jumped to conclusions, and instead of greeting you, I went out drinking.” Ben rubbed a hand over his face. “I did that for a while then stumbled off to find a hotel, and that’s where I’ve been staying since.”

“Unless he’s been out and about following me,” Mike added.

“Ben, you didn’t…” Jessica admonished.

Ben nodded. “I thought… I had to know if what I saw was real. Then I was going to slip back home and out of your life, quietly, like you wanted.”

“But I didn’t want that!” Jessica said, her voice too loud to her own ears. “During this whole escapade, you never thought you should maybe talk to me about it?”

“I should have. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was angry and jealous.” He paused, looking down at his feet. “And if it was true, I didn’t want to hear it from you. It would have broken me.”

“But it’s not true!”

“I know that now. Your friend schooled me on that.”

“Deservedly so,” Mike said, picking up the narrative. “After seeing this guy behind me everywhere from Copley to Kenmore to Longwood, I finally cornered him. I figured it had to be him, since you’d told me he’d come to town.”

“Why didn’t
you
tell me, either?” she asked, turning on her friend. “Like, ‘hey, Jessica, there’s this weirdo who’s been following me. I think it’s Ben.’”

“I wanted to be sure it was him first,” Mike said simply.

She took in a shaky breath. “At least, that explains why you stopped asking about him.”

“So, anyway,” Mike continued, “Ben, here, thought that we were together, and thought the best course of action would be to stalk me.” He grinned. “I set him straight, though.”

Ben reached over to touch her hand. “I’m sorry I doubted you. It’s just, we never said we’d be serious, and I had no right to expect you to feel the way I feel, so I just let my imagination run wild. I made a mistake.”

Jessica nodded. “A big mistake,” she said. “But that doesn’t explain why you’re here.”

Mike laughed. “Well, after I dragged him to a gay bar, I wasn’t about to let him go. He wanted to run back his hotel and see you as if this whole thing had never happened, but I made him come back here, spend the night and face you like a man.”

“I see.” Jessica considered her options. What was actually facing her was a man who didn’t trust her. Who said he cared deeply for her. Who had traveled across the country to find her then had nearly given up without even asking for her side of the story.

She decided to go home.

“I’m going to go now,” she said slowly. “I need some time to think.”

Ben’s face fell as he regarded her, but he merely nodded. “I understand,” he said. “And I’m sorry.”

It wasn’t until Jessica was nearly back to Woodbridge that she realized Ben had never told her about his supposedly good news. She’d never given him the chance.

Chapter Eleven

Jessica pushed her food on her plate, not feeling up to the family festivities of New Year’s Eve. The kids were going on various sleepovers after dinner, and Uncle Travis was taking her aunt to a party at The Top.

“What’s eating at you, dearie?” her aunt asked, clearly concerned.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Jessica said, looking up and attempting to smile. “I guess things just aren’t going to work out with Ben after all.”

Her aunt nodded, putting another bite into her mouth. Jessica hadn’t told them what had happened yesterday, but her aunt had guessed last night that it had to do with Ben.

“He’s come an awful long way,” the woman said now, after she swallowed. “Don’t you think you ought to give him a chance?”

“He didn’t give me a chance!” The strength of her emotion surprised her, and she couldn’t stop the words from pouring out. “He came out here, saw me with Mike of all people, and decided we were a couple and that I didn’t want him. Then he hid away as if he were a child.”

Silence met her remark and lasted for several moments. Finally, Jessica glanced around the table to see everybody staring at her.

“What?” she asked, her tone annoyed. Didn’t she have a right to have a say in her own life? Ben could just make assumptions about her willy-nilly and make decisions that concerned her without her consent? She fumed.

“Just you’re quite worked up over it, is all,” Travis said.

“Well, maybe this is for the best, then,” her aunt said, after thinking on it. “Now, you know you don’t love him…or you do.”

Jessica put her face in her hands. “Ugh, this is all such a mess.”

“Well,” her uncle replied, “the great thing is, we know a young redhead who is excellent at fixing messes.” He grinned.

“What would you do?” Jessica asked, turning to Stella.

“Hmm, I think I’d decide how much the person meant to me and whether or not they deserved a chance to make things right.” She paused, her eyes filled with unspoken meaning. “Then I’d go from there. But you can’t do that while angry. So, I guess the first step is to stop feeling so indignant.”

“Yeah, really,” Billy laughed.

“What do you have to say?” Jessica flipped him a look.

“Well, I just don’t see how what he did is even so bad. He saw you with another guy and freaked out. I’d do that, too, if I had a girlfriend.” The kid shrugged, blushing. “Not that I do, of course,” he hastened to add.

“That’s good,” Travis chided. “Because you’re too young.”

“I know, I know,” he grumbled.

“So, what are you going to do?” asked Sadie. “You gonna go find him?” Her eyes lit up in that romantic way only a young child’s can.

“Well, not tonight,” Jessica admitted, a smile creeping over her face despite efforts to curb it. “Tonight, I have some other debts to settle.”

The family finished up, and the kids started clearing the table. As each party got ready to leave, her aunt took her aside. “If you do find yourself in need of some New Year’s fun, remember, we’ve an extra ticket to The Top tonight. Just call. We’ll leave it at the door for you.”

Jessica nodded, but declined. “I think a night in is exactly what I need.”

* * * *

The door to the little pawnshop jingled as Jessica stepped inside.

“How come you guys are never closed?” she asked, laughing and expecting to see Mae at the counter. Her steps faltered when she came face to face with the grandson instead.

“I’m just lucky, I guess,” the man griped.

“Where’s Mae?” she asked, feeling uncomfortable.

“Out of town,” Freddy sneered. “Visiting with my ma. I’m the only one forced to work on the biggest party night of the year.” He strode back behind the counter, pulled out a flask, and took a long swig, looking at her in a lecherous manner. “But my evening might have just perked up.”

Jessica tried to laugh the remark off. “Oh, I don’t think so. I’m just here for my rings. I’ve got the five-thousand.” Mike had given her an advance to buy back the rings after it had been made clear she wouldn’t need the money to fly out to see Ben. It truly was the best Christmas gift she’d ever received, and she was happier still to know she’d be expected to work it off. She hated taking freebies.

“They’re not here.”

She looked up in surprise. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Did I stutter?” The man spoke slowly and with menace, before switching his tack and letting out a loud guffaw. “Sold them the other day.”

“How dare you?” Jessica seethed. “Didn’t your grandmother make it clear they were to be held for me?”

The man shrugged. She wished she could remember his name. She’d leave him a bad report on one of those rating sites. Something about him just got under her skin.

“Don’t look at me,” he said. “Granny’s the one who sold them.” He smiled broadly. “Guess the old dame wasn’t as trustworthy as you thought.”

With light movements, the man jumped the counter, landing just inches from her. He grabbed her wrists. “And you should know better than to visit a pawnshop on the bad side of town alone late at night.” Freddy pulled her over to the corner where he used one hand to switch off the video monitoring, holding her arm at an awkward angle with his other. They were making their way to the front door, and Jessica assumed it was so the little monster could lock it.

Her eyes flicked up to the rifle behind the counter. Still there. She calculated in her head that the best time to wrench free would be when he was busy with the door. She’d twist, leap the counter and grab the gun—if she could.

Before she had a chance to put her plan into action, though, the hold on her wrists slackened as the sickening sound of fist into flesh filled the air. Her assailant howled, doubling over and clutching his stomach, only to be knocked back a second time by a punch to the jaw.

“You know,” Ben said, as he struggled to regain his breath, “we’ve got to stop meeting like this.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Not now,” Ben said, ushering her through the door. “I rented the red car in the lot. Let’s get out of here.”

* * * *

Ben drove them to Woodbridge in silence, his mind a muddle of coincidences and holiday hope. He’d been stopping by the pawnshop to give Mae back the rings. Jessica had made it clear she wanted nothing to do with him, and he couldn’t blame her. He’d decided the best course of action would be to go back home quietly, leaving things in Boston as he had found them. Jessica didn’t need any more turmoil in her life, and he hated that he was the cause of so much of it. He’d told himself he’d write her later. Explain. Tell her how much he cared for her. But he’d known that any admission of emotion on his part right now would only put more pressure on the girl, clearly already struggling with a lot on her plate.

Mike had told him in no uncertain terms that Jessica needed to be treated with absolute respect and love. If Ben couldn’t do it, Ben needed to leave. Ben had simply nodded. It wasn’t that he couldn’t do it. He wanted nothing more than to comfort Jessica and love her, possibly for the rest of their lives. But after his actions, he didn’t feel he had the right. He didn’t deserve her.

As they pulled into the driveway of the small family home, Ben checked his watch. His plane would board in a half hour. He’d never make it in time. At least, his newfound wealth allowed him the option to reschedule his flight.

He shut off the car and turned to Jessica before opening the door. “I’m sorry,” he said, surprised when she said the same thing at the same time. “You’re sorry?” he asked. “Whatever for?”

Jessica heaved a sigh and took his hand. “I was so hurt that you hadn’t trusted me that I allowed myself to wallow in petulance.” She looked down. “You didn’t do anything but draw conclusions based on what you knew at the time.”