Finding Evan (2 page)

Chapter Two

I find a job working at the campus gym. I have experience from personal training in one of the gyms back home, and this job beats most of the other options. Such as working at the Union. I’m not sure I could cope with being on the other side of a bar watching everyone else get drunk. Besides, with personal training, I get to tell people what to do and not the other way around. Free membership and the chance to work out every day is also a bonus.

So me and Ness slip into a routine as the weeks pass. I start studying again, and the new academic year holds so many positives. Life with Ness is great, and Lucy is fading into the background. Mostly. I'm moving on; now I have Ness, the beautiful girl whose heart loved me at my worst, and whose arms held me at my weakest.

Ness throws herself into study and talks in medical jargon. Half the time I don’t understand anything she tells me when we chat about her day. But she’s happy and enjoying the course, and that makes the fact we have to spend more time apart positive. And if she's happy and positive about what she's doing, I know the decision Ness made is the right one for her. Ness, as ever, is keen on keeping her boundaries, so with the time apart and her studying demands, we don’t see each other every day. I’m okay with that – the sex is fucking amazing when we do catch up after a few days apart. I think a whole week would be difficult though...

Tonight should be one of our Ness and Evan nights, but she’s dragged me to the pub, to meet some of her med student friends. This isn’t part of her life I want involvement in, but Ness’s constant nagging to go with her and meet these people finally wears me down. I’ve only agreed to go because Abby is coming too, so I won’t be the only outsider.

Half an hour here and my eyes glaze. They’re talking a foreign language. And not talking to me.

Ness sits with her hand on my knee but hardly speaks to me. Abby looks very interested in Jared, engulfing his personal space in a way warning other girls to back off, which amuses me. That girl can’t go without a boyfriend for more than five minutes; didn’t Ness tell me Abby split up with a guy last week? As Abby flirts, Jared shifts closer, and they’re practically touching heads. The Ollie guy is at the far end of the table, chatting to a couple of girls. I take a few moments to watch how he interacts, hoping one of them is his girlfriend. The body language of one girl suggests she’d like to be, but he’s not responding. Ness talks about Ollie a fair bit and it niggles at me. Okay, she talks about Jared and some others too; maybe I’m a bit oversensitive.

A petite girl with sleek black hair takes a seat next to me and yawns at exactly the same time as I do. I grin at her and she smiles back.

“I’m tired,” she says.

“Bored.”

“I’m Sunita.” The girl sets down her glass and looks between me and Ness. “You’re Vanessa’s boyfriend?”

Odd everyone here calls her Vanessa. As if she has two personas, and I belong to one of them. “Yeah, I’m the odd one out.”

“I hear we don’t normally date outside our species.”

I join her in laughing, but this increases my discomfort, as if I’m being told I don’t fit. Sunita pulls her plucked brows together. “I didn’t mean anything by that.”

“It’s cool. You know how it is when you don’t know anyone on a night out.”

“Yeah, you get to know them,” Abby interrupts, then shares a giggle with Jared. I resist the urge to roll my eyes.

As Abby’s empty bottles of Cruisers line up, I wonder how long before she invites her new found friends home. I rub an eyebrow with my thumb. Following a few days away from Ness, I’d hoped we’d be alone tonight. Once I fulfilled my boyfriend duties by coming here.

I poke Ness in the ribs. “Do you want a drink?”

“Coke. Thanks.” Ness passes me her glass. I put my fingers under her chin and kiss her in the soft, teasing way she loves to hate, and then I tug her lip with my teeth.

She pulls away and smiles. “Stop that!”

I grin and kiss her nose.

The pub fills with noise and bodies as more students finish lectures. I order the drinks, and then check the time on the clock above the bar. Six pm. How much longer before I can take Ness home?

Ollie appears next to me as I wait for the drinks. I’m on edge around him; there’s something about how he looks at me I don’t like. And how he looks at Ness. She says I imagine any attraction to
her, and that Ollie’s never shown interest, but recently, she spends more time with her med student friends than me. They’re bound to get closer. I know, it’s mostly because of the study hours, but I still feel pushed to one side. My biggest worry: Ness will stop dating ‘outside her species’.

“Evan, isn’t it?”

Like he doesn’t know. “Yeah.”

He studies me in an oddly intense way, and then glances at Ness as if he’s trying to figure out what Ness sees in me.

“I think my cousin likes your friend.” He tips his head to Abby.

“She’s a friendly girl.”

Ollie laughs softly and catches the barmaid's eye to orders drinks. He’s well-spoken and nothing like me. The girl I think is interested in him keeps her eyes on him while he’s here. She’s a good-looking girl; I reckon he should focus on her and not my girlfriend.

“Can I get you a beer?” he asks.

“I’m good; I ordered.”

My pint and Ness's Coke arrive in front of me, and I hesitate. I don’t want to sit back with Ness’s boring friends, but I don’t want to stand here with Ollie either. And what kind of stupid name is Ollie anyway?

“How long have you known, Vanessa?” he asks.

“Why?”

His eyebrows shoot skyward. “Just making conversation. I could ask you what you study instead. You are a student, right?”

An uncomfortable feeling creeps across my skin following his words. Ness has never spoken to him about me? Do I not exist when she’s in her new world?

“Yeah.”

I will Ness to look around and it works. When she spots us, she comes over. Even in a simple shirt and jeans she’s beautiful. Beautiful and sexy. And mine. As Ness approaches, I attempt to ignore the fact her shirt has one button too many undone for my comfort, and fix my gaze on her lips. Sliding my look to her eyes, she registers the intent in them because her mouth parts. Three days since she was in my bed…

Ness kisses me, breasts squashing against my chest. The sensation jolts a need barely held beneath the surface. I’m tempted to show the guy I’m standing with how much we want each other, but I know this would lead to a slap from Ness – she hates public displays beyond a chaste kiss. Catching my hand wandering towards her backside, she slides her palm into mine and pulls the hand next to her. I get a warning squeeze. All I want to do is take her home to bed.

“You okay?” she asks.

I rub my thumb across her lips, desperate to put my mouth on hers again. “Just tired. Abby looks like she’s having fun.”

Ness strokes my cheek in return, then turns her attention to Ollie. “I bet you guys will be on your way home with us tonight."

His wrinkle-nosed reaction suggests he’s as happy about the idea as I am. “I’m leaving soon. Going away this weekend.”

I pick up my pint and drink, hoping soon is very soon. Then I can sneak off with Ness without whoever Abby decides to invite home. Ollie’s looking at me again, and I meet his eyes as I put my glass on the bar. He shifts his gaze to Ness.

“So are you guys both coming next week?” he asks her.

“Where?” I ask.

“Big party – one of my housemate’s 21st. Hasn’t Vanessa said anything?”

His words sting. “She might’ve done.”

Ness doesn’t speak, but her hand tenses around mine. An awkward gap appears in the conversation.

Ollie either doesn't notice or ignores it. “Ah well, I’ll leave you lovebirds to it. See you on Monday, Vanessa.” Ollie shrugs his jacket on. “Nice to chat, Evan.”

***

NESS

I push the bedroom door closed with my behind and hold out the wine glasses to Evan, transferring the wine bottle to my other hand. He sits on the edge of the bed flicking through music tracks and pauses to take the glasses.

“Thanks, Vanessa.”

I blink at him. Passive aggressive? Or teasing? They’re the times he uses my full name. “Why did you call me that?”

“Everyone else does.”

I pour white wine into his glass and climb onto the bed next to him, curling my legs beneath me. “People at med school.” I nudge him. “You know only special people get to call me Ness.”

Evan gulps his wine. “Right.”

The tension I hoped I’d imagined on the walk back from the pub is real, and I can’t fathom why. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“‘Nothing’, nothing or ‘not talking about this’ nothing?” I poke him in the ribs. “Come on, what is it?”

“I wasn’t comfortable tonight; I’d rather it just be me and you.”

“It is now.” Lifting his arm, I place it over my shoulders and snuggle into his chest. “Just you, me and a bottle of wine.”

Evan moves me to one side and takes my wine glass away. He sets the glasses on the floor. “Tell me about the party? Are you going?”

“Why? I never mentioned the party because I hadn’t decided. And you won’t be around anyway; you’re going to Lancaster.”

Is he jealous? Often, when Evan is like this, he’s processing things wrongly. He mentions Ollie a fair bit – in a snide way – which pisses me off because I have no interest in anyone but Evan. And I never fuss about him taking away one weekend a month to see his sister, so why is he getting upset with me?

“So, you're going?”

“Evan, what is this?”

“Come to Lancaster. With me.”

I squirm. Lancaster isn’t my favorite place, and I want to keep Lucy separate to our relationship. What’s to stop him from changing his weekend away?

“No,” I say.

“You’d prefer to go to a party with your med school gang?”

This issue has been skirted around before. The time I spend with other med students. What happened to the laid-back Evan who didn’t need to see me every day to feel secure? Back when I worked at the call centre, he didn't hint at insecurity. One summer together and he’s changed. Was the old Evan, who held himself at a distance, the only one who could let me live a separate life?

“I don’t understand; you knew how this would be. Medicine is different to other courses. Intense. The people are different – like a community, I guess.” I catch a look I recognize. “And no, I don’t mean your course is inferior.”

As he considers this, Evan sneaks a hand under my top and runs his fingers lightly across my lower back. “Okay, I don’t want to fight.”

“But we should talk about this if something is bothering you,” I say.

Evan fixes me with an unmistakable look as he pauses to respond. “The only thing bothering me is you’re not naked.”

Typical. He changes the subject, knowing how easily he can turn me on if he wants to switch things in a different direction. Avoid things he doesn’t want to talk about. As he moves towards me, I place a hand on his chest and lean back. “Talk to me.”

“Later,” he whispers, mouth closing over mine.

My logical thinking side switches off the moment Evan kisses me; it always does. Each time, my body transports me back to our first kiss, and the overwhelming desire that left me a shaking mess. Exactly the same need for him consumes me now, knowing how our connection removes me from everything but the bliss of us. Months later, this hasn’t waned.

Evan pulls away, kneels on the floor, and pushes my shirt upwards.
He gently kisses my stomach, nipping at my heating skin. “Three days...might as well be three weeks,” he murmurs.

I lift my arms, and he pulls the shirt over my head. From the position Evan's in, my breasts are at his eye level, which is probably what he planned. Reaching behind me, he unclasps my bra. He's slow, deliberate, and every touch of his skin against mine sparks desire for him. We’re not going back to the conversation now. His mouth closes over one of my nipples, tongue teasing as his arms circle my waist, gripping me to him.

I shift, pull his head away, and cup his face. "Kiss me."

Evan's darkened eyes glint. "I am kissing you. Am I in the wrong place?"

The suggestion behind his words fires wet heat to my core, but I resist the urge, raising an eyebrow instead. "Here." I point to my lips.

Evan moves towards me, pulling my bottom lip into his mouth. "Here?"

I make a low noise in my throat and slide my mouth to meet Evan’s, pushing my hands beneath his T-shirt, and tracing my fingers across the hard planes of his chest and abs. The heat of his skin and his scent fuels the slow burn inside me.

“Three days is nothing. You were spoiled over the summer, seeing me every day,” I tease.

“Hmm,” Evan kneels back and pulls off his T-shirt, “I liked being spoiled.”

My breath starts coming in short bursts. I want Evan on me. In me. Touching and kissing me. Filling the rest of my body with the sparking sensation building inside. I’m itching to touch him again, feel his heart beat against mine as he holds us in our Ness and Evan world.