Finders Keepers (25 page)

“According to you,” I replied. I wondered if they’d let me
ride again. That would at least get me out of having that conversation with
Rowen. I’d rather eat another dozen mouthfuls of dirt than talk about Josie and
what her future would be like with some other man.

“According to
her
, you giant—”

“Ass. Hole,” I filled in. “Yeah, I caught that the first
fifty times.” And then what she’d said set in. “Josie said that? She actually
told you the only person she’d be happy with is me?”

“Would it change your mind if I told you the truth?” She
crossed her legs and swung her foot, waiting.

“I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not.” It was an honest answer,
but not the one she’d been hoping for.

“Listen, Black, I know you love her. I also know you’ve
never told her that, and based on the coward’s way out you’ve taken, you likely
never will. That’s just the saddest thing I’ve ever heard, especially since
you’ve loved her for so long.” Rowen wagged her finger at me, narrowing her
eyes in a way that gave away she had been spending lots of time with Josie.

“It took me a little longer to figure out that Josie loves
you too because she doesn’t act like the total idiot you do when she’s around.
But I know she does, and I know she has for a while. I don’t know if that love
started before or after Jesse and her split up, but I know it’s been there for
a long time. Why the hell are you just throwing that all away without giving it
a chance? If the love you two have has lasted this long while you’ve acted like
you hate each, why wouldn’t it last if you tried actually
showing
that
love to each other?” She stopped just long enough to suck in a breath. “Why
don’t you give it a chance? A
real
one?” I exchanged a look with her.
One that didn’t need words to explain. “Oh yeah, that’s right. Thinking about
yourself again. What a surprise.”

So I guess the look I’d given her did need to be explained.
“I’m thinking about everyone
but
myself, for Christ’s sake.” I pulled
off my leather gloves and tossed them so far I didn’t see where they landed.
“Haven’t you heard? I’m a virus. The kind who can’t help but infect everyone
around me.”

Rowen nodded, giving me almost a . . .
sympathetic
look. That was a first. “So that’s what her dad told you, eh? That you’re a
virus? One who’s going to ruin his precious daughter? Blah, blah, blah . . .”
Rowen rolled her eyes and sighed.

“Yeah, that was about the gist of it. Along with lots of
that blah, blah, blah stuff, too.” I looked over at her from the corner of my
eyes, and when I found her doing the same thing, we laughed. That was the first
damn laugh I’d had in two months, and even though it was over in two seconds,
it felt good. It
felt
. Which meant my numb shell was cracking. I
couldn’t decide if that was a good or a bad thing.

“You know what, Garth?”

“I don’t know much,” I mumbled.

She shook her head. “Screw what her dad thinks. This is your
life to live. And that’s her life to live. You only get one go around, so makes
some mistakes, love who you want to love, and forget the rest.” Rowen jumped up
from the bleacher about halfway through her speech.

“Screw her parents? Is that something I should shout in the
middle of a family dinner?
Screw you, Mr. and Mrs. Gibson. I love your
daughter and she loves me and I want her to have my babies, but first I want to
make wild love to her like a man on death row.
”

Rowen laughed with me again. “You might not want to say
screw
you
at the dinner table because that’s just rude, but I think you’re good
to go with the rest.”

“Shit, Rowen,” I said as my laughter dimmed, “what are you
really doing here?” I couldn’t tell if she was trying to get me to come back,
or admit I was wrong, or if she wanted me to get on the phone and apologize to
Josie. She could have been there for all of those reasons, plus a few dozen
more.

“For a whole lot of reasons.” Of course. Figures. She came
toward me, stopping in front of me. “I’m here to remind you of a promise you
made to your best friend to be his best man. The wedding’s at seven. Be there
early. In something presentable preferably. No wedding gift required. And if
you don’t make it, no big deal—don’t even sweat it. I’ll just rip your balls
off later.” She said that with a straight face, and I knew better than to think
she was bluffing. My hands automatically covered my dick. “I’m here to remind
you that you left Neil and Rose with no notice and short-handed, and they’re
already having to run that place without Jesse. You owe them an apology in the
least, but returning for the summer and working your ass off would be better.”
I felt like I was being lectured, but I understood why—I
was
being
lectured. “And I’m here to remind you that your other best friend—you know, the
one who admitted she loved you but you were too chicken-shit to admit you loved
back . . . that person? You didn’t only break her heart, you crushed her.”
Rowen lowered her face until she was at eye level with me. “Fix it.”

I saw a pattern evolving with the couple of women I’d let
past my walls. They had a way of fucking up my mind good. Josie first, and now
Rowen. I needed time to digest everything she’d just said. I couldn’t just
respond to all that after a moment’s thought. Finally, I cleared my throat and
shook my head to clear it. “Anything else, Ms. Sterling-soon-to-be-Mrs.
Walker?”

“Mrs. Sterling-Walker,” she corrected.

“Ah, hell. You’re actually doing the hyphenated name thing?
Sterling-Walker?” I clapped and chuckled. “What did Jesse think of that
decision?”

“Why don’t you ask him?” she replied with a shrug. “It was
his idea.”

“Pussy-whipped, bleeding heart—”

Rowen leaned back down again and patted my cheek. “You can
deny it all you want, but we all know you’ve been a member of that club for a
while.” I glowered as she headed for the parking lot. “Oh, you know, there was
something else.” She snapped and glanced back. “I’m here to remind you that
you’re an asshole and to order you to stop being such a giant one. Give it a
rest, Black. It’s getting old.” Shooting me a smile, she continued on. “See you
in two days.”

I grumbled at the ground, then sighed. “Rowen?” I stood. She
paused and turned to me with a smile, like she knew I’d have something else for
her. Damn that women’s intuition thing. “Josie and me? You really think we’ve
got a chance at making it?

Her smile spread. “There’s only one way to find out.” With a
wink, Rowen continued on her way and left me to work out the biggest mindfuck
I’d dealt with to date.

“SOMEONE ORDER A mail-order best
man?” I shouted, charging into the barn office where Mrs. Walker had directed
me.

Jesse was draped over a metal chair, looking as cool and
collected as any other day. The guy was about to swear a lifetime to one woman,
and his forehead wasn’t even beaded with sweat. “You made it.” He grinned an
ear-to-ear one and popped out of the chair.

“Did you have your doubts?” I shook his hand and gave him a
quick, awkward manly hug. Lots of hard back patting was involved.

“Nah,” he replied. “No doubts.”

“That much faith in me, eh?”

“Not really, but I have plenty of faith in Rowen. Especially
when she got that look on her face and headed out to hunt you down. I’ve
learned to cease and desist whatever I’m doing if she ever turns that
determined, take-no-prisoners expression on me.”

I chuckled. “You always were the smart one.” Jesse sat again
and checked his watch. “Someone a little antsy?” If he was, he sure as hell
wasn’t showing it.

“Not antsy, but excited.”

“Excited? For a wedding?” I wrinkled my nose. “Jess, we’re
cowboys. We don’t get excited over weddings. Not even when they’re our own.”

Jesse’s boot kicked mine. “Well, I’m excited about a wedding
and I’m a cowboy. So consider your world officially rocked.”

“Okay, I get why you’d be excited for the wedding
night
. . . but the actual wedding itself? Flowers? Long-ass ceremony? Old women in
big hats? What the hell’s so exciting about that?” I could see the excitement
written on every plane of his face. I guess I was looking for an explanation as
to why.

Jesse shrugged, checking his watch again. “In one hour,
Rowen’s going to be my wife. I wouldn’t care if the ceremony leading up to that
included electric shock therapy and bamboo shoots up my finger nails. I’d still
be excited knowing that when all that was said and done, I’d get to call her my
wife.”

“Mrs. Sterling-Walker . . .” I gave him a sly smile, which
earned me another kick.

“Yeah, yeah. I know you don’t get it, but it works for us.
And that’s all that matters.” Jesse hadn’t stopped smiling since I walked in
the room. Knowing him, he’d probably been smiling in his sleep since she agreed
to marry him.

And then I stopped to think about what he’d just said—
It
worked for them
. Jesse and Rowen were far from a cookie-cutter couple, but
damn if they weren’t the happiest, most in love one I’d ever had the nauseating
pleasure of being around. They’d managed to figure out a way to make things
work for them. The odds were stacked against them—the rebel city girl with a
checkered past and the golden country boy—but they’d figured out a way to make
it work. And that was all that mattered . . . I almost had to slap my cheeks to
snap out of it. “So? Best man duties? Give me the basic rundown.”

Jesse leaned back in the chair, and I had to suppress the
urge to kick it out from under him. It was his wedding day and all—if ever a
guy deserved a break, it would be that day. “I don’t know. Just back me up if
any of Rowen’s exes show up and try to sweep her away. Oh, and try not to cuss
or pull out your flask and take a swig in the middle of the ceremony.” Jesse’s
eyes narrowed as he searched for other suggestions. “Don’t piss Rowen off. Or
Josie. Or anyone for that matter.”

“Slow down, Sterling-Walker. Slow. Down.” Jesse smirked at
me. “If any of Rowen’s exes show up, I’ve got your back—no problem. Kicking ass
is one of the few things I do best.” Jesse nodded. “I promise to
try
not
to cuss, and you don’t have to worry about any swigging in the middle of the
ceremony because I’m”—I unbuttoned my jacket and held it open, patting each
pocket—“flaskless.” Jesse’s eyes widened in surprise. “And I won’t piss off
your bride or hopefully anyone else, and I will certainly try not to piss Josie
off.”

“You know what? Just to be safe, why don’t you not even make
eye contact with Josie during the ceremony? Rowen promised to pat her down to
make sure she wouldn’t try to hide a shotgun under her dress, but it’s better
to be safe than sorry. So no eye contact, just in case. At that range, there’d
be nothing left of you above the neck.” Grabbing a piece of straw off the
floor, he flicked it at me. “But with that ugly mug gone, you’d be a lot more
attractive, so no worries either way I guess.”

I flipped him my middle finger. “It’s not like she’s going
to be a few feet in front of me.” Jesse’s eyebrows came together as I had a
light bulb moment. “She
is
going to be a few feet in front of me.”

“I thought Rowen told you. Josie’s her maid of honor, so you
two will be standing right across from each other, and you have to escort her
down the aisle at the end of the ceremony.”

That was why I should have been around for the rehearsal
last night. I would have known Josie would be directly across from me and I
could have worn a bullet-proof vest under my jacket. I had planned to talk to
Josie at some point that night, but it wouldn’t happen before the ceremony
since it was minutes away from starting. I was practically squirming as I
pictured the glare she’d have aimed at me the entire time. “Well, fuck me. And
here I thought the most uncomfortable part of this thing would be the tie.” I
grabbed at it again, pulling it back so I could take a full breath.

“Sorry, pal.”

“Sure, you’re not.”

A knock sounded on the other side of the door before Mrs.
Walker peeked her head in. “It’s time, Jess. You boys ready?”

Jesse popped out of the chair and ran his hands down his
jacket. They were having a straight-up cowboy wedding—from the jeans, to the
boots, to the black felt hats.

“I’m ready,” I said to Mrs. Walker and hitched my thumb at
Jesse. “He’s
excited
.”

Mrs. Walker laughed. “What can I say? I raised a deranged
son.” Jesse swirled his finger beside his head.

“Nah, Mrs. Walker. You raised one hell of a man.” I don’t
know who looked at me with more surprise.

After giving Jesse a solid hug, Mrs. Walker gave me just as
solid of one. “You didn’t turn out so bad yourself, Mr. Black.” Patting my
cheek, she slipped back out the door, leaving it cracked for us. I heard the
guitars in the background playing some Johnny Cash song . . . of course.

“Okay, this is it. How do I look?” Jesse held his hands out.

“Ugly.”

“Thanks for the confidence booster”—Jesse slugged my arm and
headed for the door—“best man.”

“Nice jeans, by the way. Good of you to get dressed up for
your own wedding. Pathetic.”

Jesse shrugged, my sarcasm bouncing right off of him. “What
can I say? Rowen kind of has a thing for my jeans.”

“No, Rowen kind of has a thing for your ass.”

He paused at the door and gave an exaggerated wink. “I can’t
blame her. I
do
have a fantastic ass.”

“Sounds like someone’s boosted their own confidence,” I
muttered as Jesse slipped out the door. “Hey, Jess, hold up just a quick sec.”

Bad timing was my M.O., but I had to get it off of my chest.
I’d taken my sweet time saying it, but there I was in some big hurry to get it
out right as he was about to say “I do.”

“What’s up?”

I sucked in a heavy breath. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for that
night with Josie. You trusted me to take care of someone you loved, and I
betrayed you both. And I’m sorry.” I couldn’t seem to say it enough. “So
fucking sorry.” One more time, I guess. “I just wanted you to know. I wanted
you to know I didn’t plan for that to happen, or even want it to, but I didn’t
do anything to stop it either.” I told Josie I’d never apologized to her for
that night because I wasn’t sorry it happened, and that was true—it was hard to
be sorry for a night I thought I’d only live in my dreams. But there was
another part to it, the other side of the coin. I
was
sorry for the
people I’d hurt. I was sorry for betraying one of my best friends. Well, I was
sorry for betraying my two best friends. Jesse stayed quiet, the skin between
his brows creasing deeper and deeper with every word. “Oh, and one more thing.
I’m sorry for not saying
I’m sorry
sooner. It took me two pathetic years
to apologize to my best friend for making love to his girlfriend behind his
back.”

“Black, what the hell are you talking about?” That wasn’t
what I’d been expecting him to say. “You’ve said sorry plenty of times before.”
I cocked an eyebrow. “Okay, so you haven’t come right out and said those exact
words, but you’ve shown me you were sorry. You’ve been showing me for a long
time.” Jesse clapped his hand over my shoulder. “I know you’re sorry. And I
forgave you a long time ago.”

I let that settle in for a few moments. And a few more.
“Well, shit. If I’d known that, I could have saved my breath.”

Jesse’s smile stretched. “It’s all good. Besides, it’s nice
to hear the words sometimes, you know?”

“You’ve got that intentional look,” I said, motioning at his
face. “So whatever it is you’re thinking, you better spit it out.”

“The hard part is showing someone you’re sorry—or in a
totally unrelated and not-at-all applicable situation . . . showing someone you
love them.” Jesse’s tone gave me the equivalent of a nudge. Inapplicable, my
ass. “The easy part is telling them.”

“Your point, Yoda?”

“You’ve already proven you love her. That’s the hard part.
All you have to do is tell her.” How was he still able to talk, let alone form
those kinds of thoughts, when he was supposed to be standing in front of an
alter? Oh, yeah. Because he was Jesse fucking Walker.

“And that’s the easy part?” I said.

“As pie.”

I shoved his arm, pushing him through the office door.
“Let’s get you to your wedding, princess.”

“I’ll make sure Rowen tosses the bouquet your way, sweetie,”
Jesse said, adjusting his tie before buttoning his jacket.

“Bite me, Walker.”

He grinned at me. “Love you too, Black.”

Sliding the barn door open, I clamped my mouth closed.
Dozens of faces turned their attention on the two of us. “You couldn’t have
given me a little warning?” I hissed at him, keeping a smile plastered on as I
followed him to the altar.

“Warning,” he said, waving at Clementine. She was
practically bouncing in her seat.

Again, I had to fight the urge to buckle his knees out from
under him. His wedding day. Dozens of people smiling at us. I should be on my
best behavior. As the song the guitar player was strumming ended, he moved
seamlessly into the next song. Even though I wasn’t a big Cash fan, I’d been
around Jesse enough to know the song—“I Walk the Line.” I got the relevance,
but really, the lyrics seemed more suited for a person like me than Jesse. A
single guitar player was playing the song at half time, but the tune was almost
haunting. I was practically wiping my eyes, and then the Walkers’ front door
opened and Josie stepped out. Damn. If I’d been the crying type, I would have
been a sobbing mess right then.

She clutched a bouquet and wore a pretty purple dress that
moved with the breeze. She was
the
most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
She always had been. And she always would be. She didn’t notice me at first—not
until she’d made it down the stairs to the aisle. As soon as she saw me, her
smile vanished. Her skin, already darkened a couple of shades from the early
summer sun, whitened. Her pace slowed so much, I worried that she would turn
around and bolt. Instead, she sucked in a deep breath, shifted her gaze away
from me, and continued down the aisle. When she made it to the altar, she gave Jesse
her standard slug greeting, then mouthed a quick
Congratulations
.

It was another surreal moment. The three of us all together
as one was about to commit his life to the woman he loved. The three of us had
grown up together, lived and learned together, loved and hurt one another. Yet
after all of that, we were still together, practically shoulder to shoulder,
supporting one who was ready to move on to the next phase of life. Jesse,
Josie, and me—an unlikely trio of friends who’d been through it all.

“Hey, Joze,” I whispered to her, taking a step her
direction. She greeted me back with a powerful glare. “You look beautiful.”

Her glare went from powerful to lethal. Jesse subtly elbowed
me in the stomach before tilting his head back. “Don’t make eye contact. Keep
your mouth shut. Until the end of the ceremony.” One more elbow before a small
smile appeared. “Please.”

“Fine,” I mouthed before clamping my mouth shut. The guitar
player was just getting to the second chorus when Rowen stepped out from behind
the front door. She looked beautiful—Jesse was one hell of a lucky man—but I
only kept my eyes on her for a moment. They shifted to the woman standing off
to my side.

Every eye was on the bride coming down the aisle, but mine
were on the woman I could only dream would make the same journey down the aisle
toward me. I could tell Josie knew I was staring at her. She was obviously
ignoring me, and her middle finger was extended behind her bouquet so only my
eyes would see. That was a sure sign.