Final Score (16 page)

‘Out?’

‘Yeah. He…’ Gary stopped mid-sentence, not sure he should be telling Jim any of this. Despite Ryan being a total pain in the arse at times, a sense of loyalty to his friend would always be there.

‘He, what? Come on, Gary. He’s late for training, nobody’s heard from him all morning, and now you’re telling me you were out with him last night. Out where, exactly?’

‘Is that really important?’

‘If he’s fucking about again, then yes, it’s important.’

Gary let out another sigh. ‘He didn’t take it too well. Hearing about you and Amber…’ He stopped talking, still not sure he should be saying any of this, but Jim just fixed him with a look, raising that eyebrow again. ‘He didn’t take it too well, okay? So, I thought I’d take him out, take his mind off it. But…’

‘But what, Gary?’

‘Jesus… He pissed me off, okay? He started being an idiot…’

‘An idiot?’

‘Yeah. An idiot. Knocking back the drinks, mouthing off…’

‘And you didn’t think to stop him?’

‘Like I said, boss, I’m not his frigging babysitter. He’s old enough to look after himself.’

‘You’d think, wouldn’t you?’ Jim sighed, throwing his head back. ‘And what state was he in when you got him home?’

Gary looked down at the ground, stabbing the pitch with his football boots. ‘I left him to it.’

‘You what?’

Gary looked up, his voice tinged with more than a hint of agitation now. ‘I can’t be there all the time, boss. I can’t be with him twenty-four hours a day. If he can’t handle real life then that isn’t my fault.’

‘Do you know where he went?’

Gary shook his head, looking down at the ground again. ‘He was with some woman. I don’t know who she was, I just saw him leave with her. My guess is they were going to The Goldman.’

‘Jesus fucking Christ,’ Jim sighed. ‘Okay, Gary, thanks. Go on, get back out there.’

‘Everything okay?’ Colin asked, walking back over to Jim.

‘It appears Fisher may have briefly reverted to his old ways.’

‘Really? Do we have a problem here?’

Jim sighed heavily again, finally removing a hand from his pocket and pushing it through his hair. ‘Just send him up to my office the second he gets here.’

‘You got it.’

Slipping his aviator shades on to shield his eyes from the low winter sun, Jim made his way back over to the administration block, checking his phone as he walked, smiling as he read a message sent just seconds ago from Amber. She was on her way to London to record a
Back of the Net
Christmas special and cover the weekend’s main matches in the Cloud Sports studio. Jim was just glad Newcastle’s televised Sunday game was down south, at one of the big north London clubs. It would be his penultimate game in charge of the north-east side that was in his blood, both as a player and a manager. But leaving was the only thing he could do now, the only option left to him if he wanted Amber.

He’d no sooner arrived in his office when Colin called him from the training pitch to tell him Ryan Fisher had finally turned up and was on his way to see him. Jim leaned back against his desk, folding his arms against him as he waited, deliberately leaving the door ajar slightly so he could see Ryan arrive.

‘Get in here,’ he said the second he saw his young and temperamental striker approach his office. ‘And close the door behind you.’

‘What’ve I done now?’ Ryan asked, not flinching in the slightest at the look Jim threw him. ‘I mean, shouldn’t I be down there getting some training in? We’re leaving for London in a couple of hours, aren’t we?’

‘We are, Ryan. Whether
you
are is another matter entirely, though.’

Ryan frowned, and immediately wished he hadn’t because even that small action hurt like hell. He should have taken a stronger painkiller before he’d left the house because this hangover was a killer.

‘Look, do you want me down there training? Or are you just gonna waste more frigging time pulling me up here for no reason.’

Jim stayed silent for a few seconds. All of a sudden the old Ryan, the one who knew no boundaries and cared about little other than his own selfish feelings was standing there in front of him. ‘I wanted you in training an hour and a half ago, Ryan. I wanted you down there with every other player who gives a fuck about this club…’

‘Like you, you mean?’

Jim’s eyes hardened as he stared at Ryan. But he ignored the comment. A reaction was exactly what Ryan wanted; Jim could see that, it was written all over his face. ‘But instead you choose to walk in here almost two hours late, looking like crap, stinking of booze, and talking to me in a way I don’t appreciate.’

‘And maybe
I
don’t appreciate you taking my son hundreds of miles away from me.’

Again, Jim fixed him with a look that said he wasn’t doing this, he wasn’t giving him what he wanted, not here. But Ryan was in no mood to hold back.

‘I stayed out last night because I needed to forget, just for a few hours, that my life is fucking falling apart, and it’s falling apart, again, because of
you
. And her. And the fact that all you two do is play with the emotions of every other poor fucking idiot who dares go anywhere near either of you. That’s what you do, do you know that? You, and her… you…’

‘You don’t talk about Amber like that, do you hear me?’

Ryan couldn’t help but let out a low, cynical laugh. ‘She tore my fucking heart out; she killed me, that’s what she did. That’s what she’s
doing
. And that’s why I walk in here almost two hours late, looking like crap.
That’s
why this shit is happening, all over again.’

‘You’re not my problem any more, Ryan.’ Jim’s voice was quieter now, calmer. Controlled. Because what he was saying was the truth. Once he walked out of this club in just over a week’s time, Ryan Fisher would be somebody else’s problem. ‘You do whatever you need to do, okay? You throw your life away, you kill it for no reason other than you aren’t man enough to grow up and deal with things. You do that. You do whatever you need to do because you will cease to be my problem.’

Ryan looked at Jim, a man who’d taken it all, and would continue to do so for the rest of his life. But he’d come prepared. He might look like crap and feel even worse, but last night hadn’t just been a time to forget everything that was going on, it had also been a time to focus and think about what he had to do to make it right. And there was really only one thing he
could
do.

‘Go and tidy yourself up in the dressing room, go on. Grab a shower, wake yourself up, and get out there for whatever’s left of this training session.’ Jim had walked back behind his desk, already busying himself with jobs he had to do before they left for their journey down south.

‘You’re taking my child away,’ Ryan said quietly, everything suddenly falling into place so simply he couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of it earlier.

Jim slowly turned around, his expression telling Ryan he was rapidly tiring of this conversation. ‘Nobody is taking anyone away, Ryan. Now, will you just go. Please.’

‘I don’t want my son living hundreds of miles away. I don’t want that. I want to be close to him, and if he’s down there and I’m still up north…’

Jim looked at him, a feeling of uneasiness creeping up from somewhere deep inside.

‘But I don’t have to stay up north, do I?’ Ryan went on, his eyes locked upon Jim’s. ‘Because, the second that transfer window opens in January, I’m putting in a request. I’m moving, Jim. I want to be where my son is, and there isn’t a fucking thing you can do to stop me.’

*

‘This is ridiculous,’ Amber gasped as she stood in the large and open, round hallway of the new north London home she and Jim had been given by Endleigh United. ‘What the hell do we need with all this space? I mean, we’ve got a perfectly decent home not all that far from here.’

‘They’ve
given
you this?’ Ronnie asked, turning a full three hundred and sixty degrees on his heels as he took it all in.

‘Apparently so,’ Amber sighed. ‘Part of the relocation package they’ve used to woo Jim back down here.’

‘You don’t like it, then?’

‘I didn’t say that, Ronnie. I just think it’s… it’s a bit ostentatious. I mean, it’s very nice, I can’t deny that. The décor’s good, but then it should be, seeing as they’ve just had it all redone and new flooring put down and… this isn’t me, Ronnie.’

‘Why not?’ He sat down near the bottom of the long, winding staircase that led up to the first of three floors. ‘Jim’s in the big league now, sweetheart. He’s one of this country’s – if not one of the world’s – most sought-after managers. People would kill to have him in charge of their club – you know that. So of course Endleigh United are gonna throw everything they can at him to get him back. And they can afford it. This is nothing to them.’

Amber sat down next to him, resting her head on his shoulder. ‘Why can’t I just let myself be happy instead of feeling guilty all the time?’

Ronnie tilted her head up so she was looking straight at him. ‘What are you feeling guilty about? Oh, don’t tell me. Ryan.’

‘I can’t help it, Ronnie. Here’s me with this brand-new life ahead of me, moving into an incredible new home with a man I am so crazy-in-love with I can’t even begin to explain; I’ve got my beautiful baby boy and a job I absolutely adore. I have it all, Ronnie. I have everything I have ever dreamed of. My life is so close to perfect it actually scares me. And I’m leaving Ryan on his own. I’m taking his son and I’m leaving him…’

‘Okay, that’s enough, do you hear me?’

Amber looked at him, blinking in surprise at his rather harsh change of tone.

‘Enough of the whinging and the moaning and the feeling sorry for yourself, alright? Enough. The self-pity doesn’t suit you, and I’m sick of having to listen to the same old thing, over and over again. You have put your life on hold for Ryan Fisher – for both of them, Amber – way too many times, and it stops, now. It stops. Ryan is a grown-up, although, to be fair, at times it might seem like otherwise, but he is quite capable of dealing with this. He just has to grow up. And as for Jim…’ Ronnie looked at Amber, whose expression was still one of surprise. ‘Don’t let him change you, Amber. Don’t do that – don’t let him change you. Please.’

‘Ronnie, I…’

‘Be the Amber Sullivan I used to know. I need her back, I really do, because I’ve stood and I’ve watched you change from the person you used to be – every time one of them hurts you or gets to you or makes you fall in love with them so hard you lose yourself. You lose yourself, Amber. And I can’t stand around and watch that happen any more.’

‘Jesus, Ronnie… I had no idea…’

‘That I felt that way? That I care about you?’ He stood up, pacing the tiled hallway, running his hands backwards and forwards through his hair.

‘No, I… I know you care about me, I know that, I just…’ She frowned, looking down at her clasped hands. ‘Is that what happens to me?’ She raised her head to meet his eyes.

He crouched down in front of her, taking both her hands in his. ‘Look, kiddo, I know I haven’t been the biggest fan of either Ryan or Jim, and that’s probably confused you rather than helped you, and for that I’m sorry. I’m sorry, baby, I really, truly am. I’m sorry. But now it’s time to put all of that behind you. It’s time to move on, and if Jim makes you happy…’ He looked down at their joined hands, pausing for a beat or two. ‘I know he makes you happy. I’d be lying if I said I couldn’t see that. So, love him, by all means, Amber. You love him with every inch of your heart, but… just don’t lose who you are, okay? Bring Amber Sullivan back. Please. Bring her back.’

She felt stupid, unexpected tears start to prick the back of her eyes and she had to look away for a second. Suddenly the air was filled with an intensity she just hadn’t been expecting.

‘I need a drink,’ she said, pulling herself up off the stairs.

Ronnie followed her into the huge and airy kitchen with its floor-to-ceiling windows and skylights that flooded the room with winter sunshine. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you, Amber. That was the last thing I wanted to do.’

‘I’m not upset,’ she sniffed, tearing off a piece of kitchen roll and blowing her nose.

‘You sound upset.’

She swung around, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. ‘I’m fine. I’m just tired of it all, you know? Tired of all the emotion, it’s so bloody exhausting! I’m missing my baby, I’m going crazy without Jim, and I just want it all to be okay, Ronnie. I just want it all to be okay. But it isn’t, is it? It isn’t all okay.’

He walked over to her, pulling her against him, hugging her tightly, rubbing her back gently. ‘Just let it happen, Amber. Please. Stop thinking about it, stop analysing everything to within an inch of its life; stop worrying about things you don’t need to worry about any more. It’s a new start, you said so yourself. A chance for you and Jim to finally work everything out and make a go of it. A proper go of it.’

She pulled away from him, walking over to the French doors, folding her arms against her as she stared out at a garden so huge she couldn’t even see where it ended. ‘Rico is going to love this place.’

‘He’s going to love this garden, no doubt about that,’ Ronnie said, joining her as she continued to stare outside.

‘Am I being selfish, Ronnie?’

‘Selfish?’

She turned to look at him, her arms still folded tightly across her chest. ‘I’m doing all of this because I need to be with Jim. I’m moving away from the north-east, away from my dad and a part of the country I vowed never to leave, no matter what job I was doing. And I’m doing all of that because
I
need to be with Jim. But is that what’s best for Rico?’

‘Do I have to go over this again, Amber? Rico is four months old, sweetheart. He’s a baby so he doesn’t know what’s going on. And by the time he’s old enough to do that, the life he’ll have will be the life he’s used to.’

‘I don’t want him to lose his dad, Ronnie.’

‘And that isn’t going to happen. You know it isn’t.’

She looked back out of the window. ‘It’s all so complicated.’

‘Not really. You think you’re the only people bringing up kids this way?’