Filthy English (30 page)

My morning classes were good—two upper-level psychology classes that I thought I could handle with some serious class attendance. My noon class was a science credit I needed, and I’d opted for zoology. As a senior, I’d been able to get early registration, plus my choice of teacher, and I’d chosen the easiest one.

I made my way to the Fanfield Science Building. I eased into class and Remi was there in the front row, scribbling notes that the teacher had already written on the board. It was early still and most of the seats were empty, and the professor had yet to walk in.

I sat down across from her in the next row over. “The view from the front row looks different—odd.”

She looked over at me in surprise, a slow blush rising.

I cocked an eyebrow, feeling glad to see her. “Miss me?”

That’s right. Pretend like you didn’t tuck her in bed like a pussy last night.

She stammered. “No—I mean, yes, I didn’t see you this morning. Thanks for my breakfast—and, again, for the bracelet. I’m not sure what you did to find it, but knowing you did it for me means something. And thanks for putting me to bed last night. I guess I crashed.”

“You’re welcome.”

She smiled, and I blinked. There was something different about her.

But I got distracted as the warm scent of vanilla and sugar hit me when her arm stretched between us to pick up her book bag. Today she wore a pair of yellow skinny jeans and a low-cut flowery shirt. A small strand of pearls glistened around her neck, hanging down. She rummaged around in her bag with her head bent, giving me a clear view of her white lace bra. Her tattoo. I bit back a groan and shifted around in my seat, my jeans suffocating me. A cold shower might be necessary after class.

She sat back up. Glanced at me. “What’s wrong? You look . . . weird.”

“You’re supposed to say I look hot.” As long as we kept the banter up and nothing else, we were fine.

Her lips twitched. “Uh-huh. What were you thinking about?”

I looked at her with heavy eyes, not caring if she was Hartford’s. “Sex, vanilla cookies with sugar on top, sex, a sandwich for lunch, sex, more sex—on the kitchen table, on my couch, on my patio.” I wet my lips. “You.”

Her face flamed.

The professor walked in and immediately began calling the roll. He handed out the syllabi to the ones in the front. I took several and passed them back to the class that had slowly filled up, although I’d barely noticed.

How was I going to get through this class with Remi beside me three days a week?

HOW ON EARTH
was I going to get through this class with him?

During class, I kept sneaking looks at Dax as he listened to the professor. I doodled in my notebook, completely distracted by him. Wearing a heather-gray shirt that perfectly matched his eyes and a pair of jeans with leather flip-flops, he looked drop-dead beautiful.

He glanced up and met my eyes, making my heart pound.

We were in a weird place, and I didn’t know how to fix it.

Yet we’d watched a movie together and he’d tucked me in bed.

We were a goddamn mess.

I sighed, wishing I’d stayed awake long enough last night to tell him I’d broken up with Hartford.

But . . .

Would it make a difference?

He’s a temporary guy, Remi. He wants your body but not your heart.

But . . . was that right?

The professor droned on, and my thoughts drifted to Hartford from the night before. We’d gone for coffee, and I’d told him about the pregnancy and London, leaving out the more intimate details that might hurt him needlessly. He’d listened to me with a carefulness I appreciated.

I told him we were over—which is what I should have done when he showed up in London. From the moment he’d jilted me and I saw Dax, we were done, but it had taken until last night for me to figure it out. In the end, perhaps it was good that we’d had our blow-up and hashed everything out. There were no secrets. He knew how I felt. It was closure.

The professor ended class, and I stood up and waited for Dax to get his things together. He looked up at me, and I smiled. “I was thinking of getting some pizza at the Student Center. You want to join me?”

He hesitated, but nodded, an earnest smile growing on his face. “Really?”

“I want to talk to you. It’s important.”

His eyes softened. “Yeah. Sure. I’d like that.”

I smiled, feeling shy. “Maybe we can even go to Panera if you don’t want pizza.”

He laughed, the warm sound sending tingles over my body. God, I wanted to be alone with him. Maybe after lunch we could go back to the house and—

“Remi,” a male voice called from the door. I turned to see Hartford there.

“Hey, I was just walking past—” He noticed Dax and stopped, his face tightening. “Is this a bad time?” His eyes swept over me, assessing.

Dax exhaled, a muscle popping in his cheek. “Nope. I was just leaving.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I was in completely strange territory.

Dax bolted from the room, keeping his face averted from me.

I walked over to Hartford, who grimaced.

“I had no clue you guys were talking. I just saw you and wondered how you were today. We had a late night . . .”

I smiled tentatively. “It’s fine. What’s going on today? How are classes?”

We made small talk for a few moments, neither of us sure about what to say.

It hit me. I rummaged around in my purse and pulled out his ring. “I completely forgot to give this back to you last night.”

He blinked, his eyes sad. “Keep it.”

I frowned. “I can’t do that.”

He met my eyes. “I don’t want it. Toss it away or at least sell it and get some of your other wedding expenses back. I’m sure your dress was nonrefundable.”

I bit my lip. “No. You keep it and trade it in for another ring when you meet the girl you’re really supposed to be with.”

Because I wasn’t that girl.

I pressed it into his palm and he grasped my fingers, taking the ring.

He nodded, and I watched him walk away.

In the end, Hartford wasn’t mine.

Dax wasn’t mine. Not really. He’d said so at the bar.

But I still had
me.

And I’d be okay.

The evening rolled in, and I met Lulu at the Student Center for dinner. After that, we went to the Tiger Bookstore and picked up last-minute supplies and books that we hadn’t already purchased.

“Watch it. Number One Whitman Bitch headed our way.” Lulu poked me in the arm and pulled me to a standstill in the spiral notebook section as Eva-Maria waltzed by us with a group of her cohorts, all dressed in their sorority jerseys and skinny jeans.

Glancing around, Eva-Maria’s eyes drifted over me—and then came back. She said something to her girlfriends, and they looked over at us.

Lulu flipped them off.

I laughed. “Stop, Lu.”

But Eva-Maria didn’t bat an eyelash. I’m sure she’d seen worse from girls who didn’t like her. With a swish of her hips, her petite frame sashayed over to us, leaving her friends behind.

“Remi,” she called as she approached, coming to a stop in front of us.

“That’s my name,” I said.

“What do you want?” Lulu snarked, her eyes glittering.

She exhaled, a conflicted expression on her face as if she was unsure how to begin. “I’ve been thinking about freshman year. Actually, Dax and I spoke—well, he told me off to be truthful. Anyway, I wanted you to know that I’m sorry about everything that happened. Dax has never been mine—or anyone’s. I was just a kid really, and I’d like to think I’m better now.”

“Yeah, right,” Lulu muttered.

“Shh,” I said. “Let her talk.”

She twisted her lips. “About Dax—everyone adores him, especially the little sisters. Heck, everyone on campus wants him—but he’s never wanted anyone. But, the day you left he was . . .”

My throat caught. “Yeah?”

“Different.” She sighed, lifting her eyes up to me. “We were never together again after that.”

She shrugged and made her way back to her friends.

“Once a slut, always a slut,” Lulu said, watching the group of girls strut across the courtyard like they owned the place.

“Wow. That was . . . totally out of nowhere,” I said.

“You don’t buy that crap, do you?”

I thought about it.

“She was such a bitch to you, Remi. You can’t possibly forget that.”

“No, I won’t forget it, but I appreciate her words . . .” I stopped, thinking. “But it’s funny. She doesn’t matter. Not anymore. She’s a zit on the face of the earth, and I see her for what she is. Insecure. Needy. Dax never cared about her.”

Her eyes softened. “Does he care about you?”

I couldn’t answer that.

The night came and Dax never came home. I waited up to talk to him, but at two in the morning I gave up and made my way upstairs and crashed. He was probably at the Tau house.
With someone.

Tuesday dawned, and I got up, hoping to catch him in case he’d gotten in after I’d gone to bed, but there was no sign of him. Breakfast was on the table again, telling me he’d at least stopped by, but because I was ornery, I didn’t look inside. I grabbed a breakfast bar instead and headed out to my car.

Tuesday was my light day with only two classes, and after they were done, I hit the library with Lulu to pick up some reading material for one of my upper-level biology classes. Lulu dropped down in the fashion section on the lower level while I headed upstairs.

It was only when I’d gotten a few paces in that I happened to glance down one of the hallways to see Dax at a study table with a few others. They had books open, talking quietly. His head was bent low, his pen scribbling in his notebook.

It didn’t feel right to bug him while he was studying—but dammit, I walked over anyway.

Axel looked up and saw me first. “Hey, Remi. What’s up?” His voice boomed, and I bit back a smile. If he didn’t keep it down, the librarians would come hush us.

“Good,” I said, my eyes on Dax as we exchanged pleasantries.

He’d raised his head up, along with two girls I recognized as little sisters, but not the bitchy ones. In fact, I’d had a class with one of them and she was kinda nice and brilliant to boot. Jealousy ate at me. I clutched my book bag to hang on and ground myself.