Fierce September (32 page)

Leebar held Hera and laughed to be back with us, to be a family again. Bazin kissed my forehead. ‘Proud indeed. We walk again in the sunshine because of you.’

Tears burned in my eyes. I wanted to say it wasn’t only me, that the rest of my stratum had been just as steadfast. But they knew. They had seen them in the courtroom, had listened along with the rest of the nation to Silvern’s story.

As we made our way back to the Centre they told us gentle stories about their time away. Vima’s brother Inva walked with us, as did the others who had worked with Dad.

‘I’ve gotta get a pair of those boots,’ Inva said. ‘Can you imagine? Boots that keep your feet dry and warm even when the rain is pouring down.’

We walked along the waterfront. ‘The water level is higher now than it was when we left for Taris,’ Bazin remarked.

It was a beautiful night with moonlight on the dark quiet sea.

The Centre too was quiet and dark. We whispered goodnight and went to our own quarters. At the doorway to his apartment, Danyat hesitated, gathered his strength and walked alone into the rooms he’d shared with Grif.

All of us woke late the next morning. Hera stayed close to Danyat, playing on the floor near his chair. He watched her, his mind elsewhere.

Dad spoke to us of the future. ‘I’ve been offered work at the gardens in Otaki. There is a house for us, already furnished.’

‘There is accommodation nearby for us three as well, my daughter,’ said Danyat. ‘Don’t worry.’

Dad took Mother’s hand. ‘Sheen, we’ve known this would come. We’ve known we’d not be able to stay together. Five hundred of us are just too many for one place.’

She closed her eyes for a moment. ‘Yes. It’ll be a different life. It’ll take time to get used to it. I know that too.’

I said nothing, but I thought plenty. What I hoped was that at least one of the others of my stratum would be going to Otaki as well – preferably one of the girls, although Marba would be okay if only Mother would stop thinking we’d marry.

Dad would have work when we moved to Otaki, but what of the rest of us? Everyone had worked on Taris, even the little children. I wouldn’t mind not working, not if I could dance instead. My mind flicked back to what Her Highness had said to me:
Your technique is appalling.
Since I’d learned my technique from Mother it was unlikely she’d be able to teach. I shrank from telling her what I knew.

In the middle of the day we went to join the others who’d returned for a celebration meal. Vima wasn’t among them.

‘Don’t ask me,’ Inva said. He looked as puzzled as I felt. ‘She came back last night, but was out again this morning before I woke up.’

‘Has she said anything to your parents?’ I asked. ‘She must have told them something about why she’s acting like this.’

He shrugged. ‘I reckon she has, but they’re not talking about it.’

There was nothing to do but wait. Typical Vima. She’d do things in her own sweet time while her friends died of curiosity.

Late in the afternoon, Marba called a stratum meeting on the roof.

‘Do you all know where you’ll be living when we leave here?’ he asked. He waited as we nodded, but nobody said anything. ‘Good. Then let us say where we’ll be going. Just for a change, I’ll start. We’re going to Dunedin.’

One by one, we named the places we’d be living.

Me: Otaki.

Silvern: Hokitika

Paz: Auckland

Dreeda and Wenda: Invercargill. Lucky them to be together.

Brex was going to Mosgiel which wasn’t so far from Dunedin and Invercargill.

Pel: Westport

Shallym: Whanganui

Biddo: Paraparaumu

Fortun: Greymouth

Jidda: Lower Hutt

Rynd: Raglan

Yin: Whangarei

Marba rubbed his hands. ‘Excellent! We’re spread right from one end of the country to the other.’

‘There’s nothing excellent about it,’ Paz snapped.

Marba stared at him, then at the rest of our glum faces. ‘Don’t you see? It’ll give us such a good overview. We’ll find out what it’s like in each of those places – from right up north to the bottom of the South Island.’

Rynd hunched a shoulder. ‘Who cares? All I care about is how far one place is from the next.’ He looked at Dreeda, who was trying not to cry. Invercargill was such a long way from Raglan. Yin and Shallym also looked upset. Whangarei and Whanganui: they’d be miles from each other.

‘I’d rather talk about our compulsory service year,’ Pel said. ‘We could all do that together. Go to the same city, I mean.’

‘But that’s ages away,’ Marba objected. ‘We don’t even know how many years it’ll take till we finish school. There’ll be so much we don’t know, and then there’s the reading and writing we have to catch up on.’

Silvern said, ‘Only one more year. Even if I have to go without sleeping to get the work done. That’s all I’m going to do. Just the one year.’

Paz was nodding. They’d discussed this? I dug my fists into my gut. I was the youngest – could a kid of my age leave school so early? I tuned in again to the discussion. Marba thought it was a pathetic idea, but the rest of us seized on it. ‘Yep,’ Jidda said, summing up what we all felt. ‘Suits me. Don’t mind working my butt off.’

Marba threw up his hands. ‘I just don’t get it. What’s the problem with being apart?’

Shallym leaned over to pat his knee. ‘Just accept it, Marba. Will you do it too – work your butt off so that we can all do our service together?’

He looked so disgusted with us that we burst out laughing. ‘Oh, all right then! But it’s stupid, I just want to make that clear.’

End of meeting. We went back to the big room to see who else had come back. Trebe, Creen, Kalta and Aspa were there.

We took our evening meal together in the dining room and it was full just the way it had been when we arrived, though diminished by the absence of Grif and Nixie. I wondered if it was just me who felt so.

I sat with my family but kept my ears tuned to the talk around us. Thomas’s name floated in the air, as did Vima’s. Where was she? Others spoke of Grif and of Nixie. It was good to be together again.

Vima didn’t show up during the meal and she still hadn’t appeared by the time we’d cleaned up. My stratum, along with a few others, stayed on in the big room to watch a movie. Vima walked in about halfway through – but she wasn’t alone. James was with her, carrying Wilfred in his arms.

‘Who’s he? Why is he with Vima?’ The questions swirled around the room.

Vima smiled and waved but didn’t stop. She and James stepped into the lift.

Silvern dug me in the ribs. ‘Well? You’ve gotta know who he is by the look on your face. Tell!’

I gulped a couple of times, trying to work out what it meant, why Vima had such a look of defiance on her face. Who was there now to defy? Before Silvern could jab me again I said, ‘You know who he is. James. The one who told you about the phone.’

‘So why’s she brought him here?’ Brex asked.

None of us put our speculations into words; neither did we glance to see if Jov and Sina were still in the room. We loitered in the lobby once the movie ended, hoping for a glimpse of James when he left.

‘Dumb,’ said Rynd after a few minutes. ‘He’s gotta be gone already. Come on, let’s call it a night.’

I certainly wasn’t expecting to find Vima and James in our apartment. My parents seemed dazed; my grandparents were inscrutable.

‘What?’ I asked.

‘Good to see you too, Juno,’ James said, grinning at me.

I rubbed my head. It couldn’t be true – what I suspected just wasn’t possible. It wasn’t right.

The words burst from me. ‘You’re getting married?’ My voice rose to a squeak.

Vima answered. ‘Yes, Juno, we are. Next week, and we’d like you to be there.’

All I could do was gape at her, for the things I wanted to yell at her would hurt James – possibly her too, though it would only be what she deserved. In the end I managed to say, ‘But you’ve only known each other a week!’

James stood up. ‘We thank you for your good wishes, friend.’

I sent him a scorcher of a look. ‘You’re welcome.’

Vima touched me on the cheek as she left. ‘Be happy for me, Juno.’

I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. ‘Of course … but …’

She shushed me. ‘No buts. It’s for the best and we suit each other. You’ll see.’

With that they went out the door, leaving us in a whirlpool of unspoken words until I cried, ‘She can’t do it! She’s lost her mind. Somebody has to make her see it.’

Leebar’s eyebrows snapped together. ‘Why? Do you know something bad about that young man?’

I shook my head. ‘No. No, of course not. She wouldn’t marry somebody bad.’ The words clamoured through my brain:
He’s from Outside, she doesn’t love him, she
loves Jov.

Danyat said, ‘Juno, you must do as she asks and be happy for her. We were impressed by James.’ He smiled at me. ‘Love can come slowly, you know, and it’s none the worse for that.’

I sat beside him, needing comfort. ‘You loved Grif. All your lives, you so loved each other. How can Vima hope to have a life like that now?’

It was Bazin who answered, his deep voice gentle. ‘Ah Juno – you know so little, dear granddaughter. None of the four of us were in love when we married. We hardly knew each other.’

Leebar said, ‘They screened us for compatibility when we were selected for the Taris project.’ She glanced at Bazin, a private memory smiling in her eyes.

‘But that was different!’ How or why I didn’t know.

The three of them got up to leave. Danyat kissed me goodnight. ‘Those two,’ he nodded towards Leebar and Bazin, ‘nearly asked to go back home because they both declared they could never live with each other.’

‘I don’t care! It’s just wrong!’ I shouted as the door shut behind them. I would never accept it, never.

Mother said, ‘It’s a surprise, Juno, that’s all. You must accept it if you want to have Vima as a friend.’

I ran to my bedroom where I lay staring into the darkness. My heart hurt. How could she? My friend had betrayed me. I sat up to rest my head on my knees. Sure, Vima could do what she liked. But she should have told me, she should have talked about it with me. And then I could have talked her out of it. I groaned and Hera stirred.

The morning brought no calmness, no acceptance. At breakfast, Mother finally set both hands on the table the better to scold me.

‘Juno, you’re being unfair and unkind. I’m ashamed of you. Vima is your friend. It’s your duty to support her. Now put a smile on your face, and go and tell her you’ll be at her wedding and you are happy for her.’

Hera watched me, her head on one side. I jumped up. Wisdom from my kid sister was not what I needed right now. ‘I’m sorry, Mother.’ I was too, and deeply ashamed. ‘I’ll go and see her.’

But not yet, not while the wrongness of it still ate at me. Instead I went to Silvern’s apartment. She took one look at me and came out. ‘What?’

‘The roof. Don’t care if it’s pouring with rain.’

It wasn’t, but the wind was vicious. We sat down in the shelter of the wall and I told Silvern everything – of the marriage, of my hurting heart, my feelings of betrayal, how Mother had growled at me.

‘You,’ she said, ‘are completely over the top.’ Her face took on its smug, superior look. ‘For the love of Taris, Juno! You know what your trouble is?’

No. And I hoped she wouldn’t tell me.
Fat chance.
‘You’re stuck in some dreamy romantic land where everyone lives happy-ever-after lives.’ She prodded me. ‘I hope you’re bloody listening, because you’re going to make a big fat fool of yourself if you go on like this.’

I went to get up, but she grabbed my arm and jerked me back down again. ‘You think Vima should be with Jov, which is daft. What about Sina and Jovan? What happens to them?’ She jabbed me again. ‘Stop dreaming. I think Vima’s doing a good thing. And they’ll probably be happy.’

‘She’d be happier marrying Oban,’ I shouted. ‘Oban’s one of us.’

She leapt to her feet. ‘You’re such a child, Juno.
Oban’s
one of us!
For goodness sake, grow up. Are you going to go into meltdown every time somebody looks at an Outsider? What about Ivor? You got all starry-eyed over him.
One of
us
!’ She wagged a finger at me. ‘You carry on like that, my girl, and you’re in for a rough ride.’

She ran off and left me sitting alone on the roof, my back against a wall and the wind howling around me.

It took a long time before I faced the most hurtful thing she’d flung at me: I wanted Vima and Jov to be together. She was right. I’d been in thrall to the romance of their stolen love affair, believing somewhere deep that one day they’d be together and that somehow Sina would be happy about it.

Stupid.

Silvern was right: Vima was doing a good thing. Wilfred would have a dad. James was a decent person. Perhaps the grandparents were right too, that love would come for them.

I got to my feet and went to find Vima in her apartment. ‘I’m sorry,’ I said before she could speak. We stood silent in her doorway for a moment. ‘If you’ll still have me, I want to come to your wedding and with all my heart I wish you both well.’

She leaned on the doorpost, arms folded. ‘Well, this is a turnaround. What’s changed your mind?’

Why had I thought it’d be easy, that I would just say sorry and we could go on as before? ‘Mum yelled at me. Silvern blasted me.’ I rubbed the floor with a foot. ‘I was dumb. Sorry. Very sorry.’

She said nothing for ages, just looked at me with narrowed eyes. ‘You were all wrapped up in the Jov and Vima drama?’

I nodded, then she laughed and gave me a hug. ‘I think we’ll be okay, James and me. And did you know that the first couples to marry on Taris didn’t even know each other beforehand?’

‘So everybody keeps telling me,’ I grumbled. ‘Thanks, Vima. And can you tell James?’

She grinned. ‘That you’re sorry? That you’re dumb? That you wish us happiness?’

I spread my arms. ‘All that, and much more of the happy stuff.’

‘Only if you’ll agree to dance at the wedding. Not the dance we always had on Taris. One you’ve made up for us. Can you do that? Just for us?’