Fielder's Choice (18 page)

Alana dragged her loveliest linen suit out of her armoire. Why she’d agreed to go with her cousin Parker to the garden party celebrating Prince Charles’s tour of the county’s organic farms, she didn’t know. But Parker had a thing for royalty, and she was his ticket in. At least he’d owe her one. Maybe he’d keep an eye on things at the ranch while she was in France. That thought cheered her.

She shrugged out of her robe but as it fell away, she detected a scent that was unmistakably Matt’s. She’d slipped the robe on after he’d rocked her world with his amazing body and more amazing moves.

She balled the robe between her hands and raised it to her face, inhaling the scent of sex and man. She hadn’t had a man affect her like that since... well, since no one. No man had ever taken her to the heights that Matt had. Not so quickly and easily. Marcel had been a good lover, but his studied moves paled in the face of Matt’s raw and hungry passion. Multiple orgasms in the space of a few hours? The man had treated her well.

She’d expected sex with Matt to be good, but she hadn’t expected it to blow her doors off. She wasn’t sure if she was terrified or happy that he was in a class by himself.

Usually a night of sensual pleasure left her feeling blissful, but Matt had stirred her up, and along with the stirring came a fathomless ache, like a wound being poked at, a wound she didn’t want to open, even if doing so might make it heal.

Physical attraction and great sex was one thing, but her relationship with Marcel had proven she could only handle the slightest bit of light romance. That was her limit. Clearly she needed to keep things with Matt casual—no strings. No entanglements. No feelings.

But maybe she could’ve found a better way to tell him.

His reaction had stunned her.

Hell,
her
reaction stunned her and was still shaking her. In unguarded moments that morning she’d found herself imagining what it would be like to live around a man like Matt, to make plans and enjoy day-to-day moments with him.

But it was more than her thoughts about the future that made her wary. She’d known of love, but had never felt its power, never felt or even understood the draw that her girlfriends spoke about in quiet moments, that she’d read of in books and seen in movies. She’d never crossed from erotic pleasure into... into what? Love? She couldn’t believe she was thinking about love. Surely there was some middle ground between physical pleasure and love.

She didn’t trust relationships, and she sure didn’t trust that she had what it took to keep one going in a healthy way.

It wasn’t just courage she lacked; she was pretty sure she didn’t have the backbone for living so intensely, for dealing with the responsibilities that a committed relationship required. Years ago she’d sworn she wouldn’t make herself vulnerable to the sorts of dramas and pain she’d seen her parents put themselves through.

And she sure as hell didn’t have the chops to be a mom, even a stepmom. Maybe especially not a stepmom.

But maybe it was all about making the right choice in the first place. Her dad and mom had been miserable together, but her dad had been happy since he married Patrice.

Until Matt got her thinking, she’d never considered what went into such a decision.

But Matt Darrington didn’t feel like a decision. The man felt like a force.

And her feelings for him felt like a train bearing down on her at two hundred miles an hour, with her tied to the tracks. Not much of a choice.

For most of her life Alana had been able to float from one pretty good situation to another. College, interspersed with languid summers of art study in Italy, then moving to Paris and the partying and endless diversions the city provided.

You can’t have just one foot partway in.

The memory of Simon’s words knifed into her. She’d never had to apply herself to much of anything. His disapproval for her partying was mild compared to the attitudes of the rest of the family. Well, everyone’s except Parker’s. Parker thought every adult should do as they pleased.

But she liked her life and hadn’t cared that the Tavonesi clan didn’t get her.

If Nana hadn’t put her in the ridiculous position of having to deal with the ranch, life would’ve gone along just fine.

She glanced at her calendar, stuck her tongue out at the note she’d written about setting up a meeting with her neighbor, old Mr. Hartman. If he was as bad as the staff said, it’d be a waste of time anyway. She flipped the page up to August. She’d be in Paris in five weeks for the Versailles gala.

She pulled the tack from the wall and decided to leave the calendar turned to August. When she went to France, she’d get her perspective back, return to her carefree self. And she’d banish the ache that Matt had stirred.

The blare of Parker’s horn sounded below her window. Manners had never been her cousin’s strong suit. Good thing he was handsome; the women at the party would swoon and no one would notice his lack of manners.

She balanced her fascinator on her head and secured the band with bobby pins. The violet color and jaunty angle of the delicate hat made her eyes sparkle. No one would know she’d spent hours the previous night rocked in a man’s arms rather than sleeping. No one would know the conflicting feelings racing through her and threatening the cautious boundaries she’d held for so long.

She strapped on a pair of emerald-green Jimmy Choo’s, then grabbed her clutch and a pashmina. On her dresser was the charmstone Nana had left her. She slipped it into the pocket of her Armani linen jacket and dashed down the stairs.

Parker jumped out of his Maserati and ran around to hold the door for her. Not all of his manners had eroded.

“Alana!”

She turned to see Sophie running up from the path leading to the pond. Matt made quick strides beside his daughter. Sophie clutched a box with a book protruding from it and some bits of what looked like moss and wood.

Matt put his hand on Sophie’s shoulder and stopped her a few feet away.

His eyes narrowed as he took in Parker, and Alana saw anger fire in their depths. That he was leaping to conclusions without giving her a chance to explain was his own damned fault.

Sophie held out the box. “I brought all the things to do the butterfly garden today. And Dad bought me the seeds for the asters and daisies.” She rummaged in the box. “I made drawings too. And I found this special stone. It’s perfect for the center of the fairy village.”

Alana winced. In her rush to rearrange her morning to go with Parker and to deal with the staff on the ranch, she’d forgotten all about her date to work on the butterfly garden with Sophie.

“Peg will have to help you, Sophie. I have to go.”

A look of disappointment crawled onto Sophie’s face, and she looked down at the ground. Matt’s body stiffened, and he drew Sophie back a few steps.

“Peg’s not as good at
imagining
as you are,” Sophie said, still not looking up.

Parker made a clucking noise. “Alana, darling, we will be hopelessly late.”

Alana slid her hips onto the seat of the car. “We’ll do it another day, okay?” She swung her legs around and tucked them under the dash. “I promise.”

Parker jumped in and revved up the engine. He was definitely no scholar of diplomacy. Or timing.

Matt knelt down to Sophie. “Another day will be okay, won’t it?”

Sophie nodded.

Matt stood and avoided Alana’s gaze. He turned his back to the car and ushered Sophie toward the camp classroom. His body language had “she’s not for us” written all over it.

“Maybe next week,” Alana called out through the open window.

Sophie turned back and nodded. But the look in her eyes nailed Alana.

Another day just wouldn’t be the same. Who knew that forgetting a date to lay out a fairy garden could wield such a blow?

She
should’ve known.

She’d been dealt plenty of disappointments long before she’d reached Sophie’s age.

“She’ll get over it,” Parker said. When Alana didn’t reply, he patted her hand. “It’s not like the garden’s going anywhere before next week.” He shifted the gears with a practiced hand. “It’s not like you did it on purpose.”

She hadn’t done it on purpose, and that was the problem. Her lack of attention just naturally landed her in these sorts of situations.

“I want to go back,” Alana said.

“Honey, we can’t blow this off. It’s important. Besides, the moment has passed, I’m sure. She’s probably having lemonade and forgotten all about it.”

“Parker, the only person in the world who knows less about children than me is you.”

“And I intend to keep it that way. For a very, very long time. I think I’ll be ready for parenthood at age sixty and not a day before.”

He was only partially joking. Parker was made of the same stuff as she. He’d been her go-to companion for many a wild weekend in Ibiza, for weeks of parties at his villa in Tuscany. Unlike his elder brother, Beau, who stayed home and ran their family vineyard, Parker was the family party boy. She’d always loved him for it. Until now.

They sped toward the coast. The dull ache spreading in her chest made it impossible to appreciate the countryside flying by. She’d seen the look in Matt’s eyes, watched him withdraw and turn away. He’d put a protective arm around Sophie as if he were shielding her. Shielding Sophie from
her,
protecting his daughter from her ineptness and irresponsible actions.

She didn’t want to be the kind of person that people had to protect their children from. What she did want, she wasn’t sure, but she’d have to do something significant to undo the damage of the morning.

Parker eased the car along the winding valley road that led to the coast. Alana stared out the window. After a few minutes they passed by seasonal workers in a field. Their broad-brimmed sun hats dipped and bobbed as they tended the rows of crops. Kids played in a ditch bordering the field, amusing themselves while their parents worked.

An idea fired in Alana. She pulled her phone from her clutch and dialed her cousin Alex.

“I need a favor,” she said when he answered.

“Why do I know from your tone that this is going to cost me, Alana?”

“Darling, you once told me that cousins are priceless.”

“My mistake,” he said with a laugh.

“Jackie told me that the Boys and Girls Club lost the venue for their August fundraiser. I want to give them the ranch.”

“As in deed it over? That’s mighty generous.”

“Be serious. They can hold their event at the ranch. Nana has tents, and whatever we don’t have, I’ll rent.”

“On such short notice? Have you thought this through?”

“I deal with Parisian art critics and galleries, darling. I can handle a party.”

There was a pause. Perhaps Alex didn’t consider the activities equivalent, but she did.

“Why not call Scotty and tell him yourself? It’s his cause.”

“Scotty thinks I’m a”—she paused to look sightlessly out the window—“a dilettante. He’ll go for it if
you
tell him. He trusts you.”

Parker shot her a wary glare as she tucked her phone back into her clutch.

“Why do I just know
I’m
going to be dragged into all this?”

“Because you owe me, especially after scoring you an invitation to meet Prince Charles today. You, Parker dear, are going to be in charge of greeting guests with me. I couldn’t possibly host this alone.”

He pressed his lips into a thin line of protest. “You must really like that guy. I saw the hungry looks shooting between you two.”

“He has nothing to do with it.”

Parker feigned a glance at himself in the rearview mirror before frowning at her. “Do I look stupid? Or are you not aware that your face has
love
written all over it?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s simply time for me to pay a bit of attention to... uh... to some of the aspects of life that I’ve let slide.”

“Right. We all know the soft spot you have for underprivileged kids.”

She ignored his sarcasm. “The event is a fundraiser for summer camp scholarships for families that can’t afford them. I’m going to contribute some art for the auction and see that the proceeds go to seasonal workers’ children so they can attend any camp they want.”

“A couple weeks at a camp?” He shook his head. “What difference can that make?”

“I imagine quite a lot.”

“You’re in over your head.”

“Just drive, Parker. It’s what you do best.”

Parker smiled at her teasing tone. They were peas in a pod. A pod that over the course of a few weeks wasn’t as comfortable for Alana as it once had been.

The smile on Sophie’s face was worth Matt canceling the driver he’d scheduled and going to the ranch to pick her up himself. His house was surprisingly empty with her away at camp during the week. He’d found himself counting the days until he could pick her up and bring her home for the weekend. There was no way he’d be sending her off to boarding school, no matter how tough it’d be to juggle his life.

“Missed you,” she said.

“Me too.” He lifted her and swung her around. “Three more months until the season’s over.”