Feverish (Bullet #3) (26 page)

She was barely audible. “It’s not ridiculous.
It’s what adults do. We take responsibility and do what we
must.”

“Yeah? Well, it’s bullshit. I see in you…a
light, and it burns bright and steady. But if you go do this shit
for the man that you feel like you have to—well, I’m afraid that
light will be extinguished.”

“Don’t you get it, Clay? That wasn’t your
choice to make. It’s mine.
Mine.
And now you’ve taken that
choice away from me.”

So he could see where she was coming from,
but he didn’t understand why she couldn’t just thank him. Honestly,
he hadn’t known she’d have a reaction like that, or he wouldn’t
have done it in the first place without her knowledge. “Sorry.”

“Yeah, well that’s easy to say now. Do you
know how it makes me feel?”

He shrugged. “I guess I didn’t think about
it.”

Her eyes were aflame. “It makes me feel like
your whore, Clay, like your kept woman. And that’s a shitty way to
feel.”

Aw, shit. “Honey, I never meant for you to
feel like that. Swear to God.” He sighed. Somehow he always managed
to fuck up the most important things. “You can pay it back if you
want. But you can do it when you feel like it. I don’t need the
money.” She shook her head, rolling her eyes, as if that solution
wasn’t good enough. “Or, better yet, just consider it a bonus. You
really are an amazing PA. I owe you a lot more than I pay you.”

“Not thousands of dollars, Clay.”

He sensed her defenses breaking down, and he
placed his hands on her waist. She struggled a little but not
enough that he stopped. He stared her down. “I don’t want you
chained to your ex’s family just because you have some stupid
loans. If you want to go work for them now, you do it because you
want to, not because you have to. If you decide you really want to
work for a big corporation, great. That’s something you can decide.
You won’t feel like you have to. That’s all I wanted for you—not
for you to be pissed at me just because I tried to do something
nice for you.”

She let out a breath. “Fine. But I
am
paying it back.”

“Fine.”

“And if you
ever
do anything like that
for me again, I will kick your ass.”

“Mmm. I look forward to it. In fact, you can
do it now if you like.” He hoped his hard on digging into her
convinced her he was serious as hell.

Chapter Twenty-seven

A FEW DAYS later, Clay popped into the office
after four. “I know you’re putting it off, and I get it, okay? But
I need to know if you’re going to Portland or not.”

Damn. Emily had known the day was coming and
didn’t know if she’d have an answer for him. He’d somehow thought
paying her student loans off would make her feel free; instead, it
made her feel indebted to him. “I don’t know, Clay. You really
don’t need me there.”

“That’s what you think. How will I make it to
recording sessions on time?”

She rolled her eyes at him. “I—I just don’t
want you wasting your money on a flight if I change my mind.”

He came around the desk and sat on the area
where the drawers were, away from the computer, but close to her.
“Then don’t.” The look in his eyes was heavy, significant. It was
obvious he didn’t understand what she was feeling internally. She
knew for sure she didn’t want to explain it to him.

She considered telling him
no
, but on
a whim she said, “Fine.”
If
she were still there, she would
have made up her mind to stay, and she would want to be with
him.

It wasn’t a question of Bryce. She’d already
decided she didn’t want him anymore. The last several conversations
they’d had, he indicated he didn’t have any real remorse. It was
all a put on. He expected her to be the good little girlfriend
ready to become the good little wife who just overlooked his
transgressions. She started questioning why he’d ever wanted to be
with her. His mother hated her, always had. All she could figure
was it was because his dad liked her and really did want her to
work for his company. The man had had enough conversations with her
to know. He’d told her earlier in the year that she had “just the
head for business” that he was always on the lookout for.

No, her indecision was based on, instead, two
other questions that kept her from fully committing to Clay’s
permanent employ. The first was Bryce’s father’s offer. If she
chose to go into business and stay there, he had offered her an
incredible opportunity. She wouldn’t be starting at the lowest
level of the company and she would be mentored. That said, she
wondered if Bryce’s dad was considering pulling the offer away
because Bryce hadn’t said anything. That was possible. So maybe the
job wasn’t as sure a bet as she’d thought.

Then, though, there was the other issue, and
that was of Clay’s decision to pay her loans off without her
permission. Yes, at its most basic level, it was a sweet gesture.
He’d wanted to do something nice for her. But he hadn’t thought it
all the way through. He hadn’t thought it all the way to fruition.
In that way, it had been a child-like gesture, and as much as she’d
wanted to stay angry with him, she couldn’t. Still, she didn’t know
that she wanted to become the girlfriend of a guy who felt he
needed to rescue her at every opportunity. One of the things Emily
had always prided herself on was her fortitude. Clay’s little (or
not so little, really) gesture had undermined that, and she was
having a hard time rectifying it in her mind.

Clay might have seen the hesitation. “You
mean it?”

She couldn’t help but smile at his
enthusiasm. “Yes.” He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead.
“Now get out of here. I need to get this done so I can get out of
here.”

He cocked his head. “Why? What are you
doing?”

“I didn’t tell you?” He shook his head. “I’m
meeting my dad for dinner.”

He face seemed to sink at first, but then he
smiled. “Oh, well, have fun.”

Then she felt like a total shit. No matter
what ultimately happened between them, Clay was a good guy and had
treated her well as her employer. Overall, that was. Aside from
paying her loans. Her dad had asked about her job. This might be an
opportunity to introduce them to each other. If she wound up
working for Clay for the long haul, she’d have to do it at some
point. “If, uh, you don’t have any plans, I can ask my dad if he’d
mind if you came along.”

“Oh, no.” He shook his head. “You and your
dad haven’t seen each other in a while. I’d just be a third
wheel.”

Now she felt really bad, because he was
trying to give her a graceful way to back out. She felt horrible.
She stood up and draped her arms on his shoulders. She touched her
forehead and nose to his. “Would you stop? If he’s okay with it, I
would love for you to come along. And I feel awful that I didn’t
think of it before.” She kissed him.

“Okay. But
only
if your dad’s okay
with it. He might not want me tagging along.”

She kissed him again. “Oh, one other
thing.”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t say a word about us. Please. I haven’t
even told him about breaking up with Bryce yet. That one’s gonna
kill him.”

“Why?”

“He really liked Bryce. Well, that’s not
necessarily true. But he didn’t hate him. He liked the
idea
of Bryce. Still…I’m not ready to lay all that on him yet.”

“I can do that.”

She kissed him again, and if she hadn’t had
so much to do, she would have helped him lay all his fears to rest.
But she was supposed to meet her dad around six, and she knew
traffic would be a bitch as it was. She wanted to finish the last
two emails and then hit the road. “Let me call my dad and I’ll let
you know.”

He grabbed her ass and pushed her into him.
“Or I could make you feel fantastic and just wait for you
here.”

She grabbed his chin playfully. “You. Why
don’t you go get some shoes on just in case?”

“Where’s dinner?”

“P.F. Chang’s. He likes it there and knows
they have food I can eat and like. And there’s one not too far from
here.”

“So I don’t have to look all fancy.”

She laughed. “No.”

“Should I hold off till you can make sure
your dad’s okay with it?”

She kissed him one last time, a deep kiss
full of promise for later on. “No. Plan on it.”

“I suppose you have your dad wrapped around
your finger.”

“No.”

“Well, I am.”

“Get out of here. I’m still on the clock.”
She backed away from him and sat back down.

He stood and cupped his crotch, readjusting
himself. “Damn, woman. You make me hot.”

She started typing on the computer but said,
“Feeling’s mutual, hottie. Now get the hell out of here so I can
work. I don’t need to get in trouble with my boss.”

He was laughing, but he turned around in the
doorway. “You’re safe…unless you
want
me to punish you.”

“Damn it, Clay. Let me work. You’re too
distracting.”

He continued chuckling as he walked down the
hall.

When she was sure he was out of earshot, she
picked up her phone and dialed her dad. When he answered, she
walked over to the window, as far as she could from the door, and
lowered her voice. “Hey, dad. I wanted to ask you a question.”

“Sure, kiddo. I hope you’re not wanting to
ask if we can postpone tonight. I’m almost to Denver.”

“No, no. I’ve told you about Clay, my boss,
right?”

“Yes.”

“Well…would you mind if I brought him to
dinner too? I think he’s kinda lonely tonight.”

“Uh, sure. Why not?”

“Thanks, daddy.”

She heard the smile in his voice. “You only
call me that when you want something. Is there something else you
were going to ask?”

She laughed. “No. That was it.”

“Okay, kiddo. See you in a bit.”

“See you, dad.”

* * *

Clay was going to go, but he couldn’t help
but feel like Emily was doing it just because she felt bad about
not inviting him in the first place. He tried not to let it get him
down. After all, sad wasn’t sexy.

Wait, no. No sexy. Not if he was meeting her
dad. Part of Clay wanted to make a great first impression, because
he was hoping Emily would start thinking of him as more than just
her boss, just her friend, just a fun fling. Those were his
thoughts as he was brushing his teeth.

But then he thought,
Fuck this.
He was
being a pathetic, whiny, mopey child. He was not going to continue
to beg Emily to see him in a different light. He would
not
beg her to stay. She hadn’t fallen for love-struck Clay. She’d
fallen for cocky Jet, just like all the women out there. So that’s
what she—and her dad—would get. No more giving into sensitive
Clay.

So he looked in his closet. He was going to
be a little more hardcore. He pulled out a pair of camo jeans that
he hadn’t worn in ages and some black combat boots. He had a Slayer
t-shirt in one of his drawers too. It took him a few minutes to
find it, but he did. Once he had his clothes on, he put in earrings
(he hadn’t worn any in a while), and changed out his flat
snakebites for lip rings. He considered pulling his long hair back
and decided against it. A couple of necklaces and a little
eyeliner, and he’d scare her dad for sure. That was fine. He felt
cockier than he had in months.

He was lacing up his second boot on the side
of his bed, and he heard Emily rap on his bedroom door. He could
hear her voice as she entered. “Dad said he’d love to meet you. You
ready?”

“Yeah. Want me to drive?” He stood and
grabbed his wallet and keys off his dresser and turned to see
Emily. She was a great actress, but not good enough. He could see
the spark in her eyes. She was either scared shitless or feeling a
little warm. He hoped both.

He saw her swallow. “Yeah, sure.”

He walked toward her, feeling like he had the
world in his hand. She was beautiful, that woman, and she was
wearing another one of those cute dresses that had a short skirt.
Long, sexy legs, dark eyes, long, shiny dark hair, to-die-for tits,
and a winning smile. He grabbed her hand. “I know I can’t do this
once we get there, so I wanna get it out of my system now.” He
wrapped his other hand around her neck and kissed her hard, then
led her by the hand to the garage.

Yeah, he was glad he’d decided to be Jet. Jet
could help him through anything.

Chapter Twenty-eight

JACK BRINKMAN TOOK Clay’s hand in a hearty
shake. “Nice to meet you, Clay. Emily has told me a lot about
you.”

Clay smiled. “Yeah?” No need to get too cocky
about that one, Smith. You’re her
job
. Of course, she talked
a lot about you. “Well, you have a hell of a daughter. Mind if I
call you Jack?”

Emily’s father smiled, emphasizing the crow’s
feet beside his eyes. “That’s my name. Is there something else
you’d rather call me?”

The three of them laughed then, and Emily
patted her dad’s hand. “I’ve missed you so much, dad.”

“So how is the job going? Or are you allowed
to talk about that with your boss right here?”

Clay smiled, knowing that, of course, she
might have other things to say that she’d keep to herself, but he
hoped that overall she enjoyed it enough to say so. “I love it. I
don’t think that’s a secret. I think the hardest part’s done,
though. Clay is now thoroughly organized, and so I’m working on
beefing up his social network.” Clay had started laughing when she
said “the hardest part’s done,” so she looked at him. “What?”

He was smiling and shaking his head. “You
haven’t been on tour. I’d like to know what you think about
that.”

“How hard can
that
be? You’ll already
have a tour schedule and you’ll be on a bus. You won’t be able to
really screw that up, will you?”