Feels Like Home: A Southerland Family Contemporary Romance Book 1 (20 page)

Turning the Sea-Doo in a gentle arc, he
headed toward the open lake. It was late in the season – probably
the last weekend it would be warm enough for this. The tourists and
summer people were gone. The only ones left were locals which meant
they had the lake practically to themselves. When they hit the open
water he felt her body start to relax.

He slowed down enough for her to hear him.
“Okay?”

“
Perfect,” she said,
leaning in to kiss the skin behind his ear.

Definitely getting a motorcycle. He could
have her wrapped around him wherever they went.

“
Want to go to the
dam?”

He felt her nod, her face pressed against his
neck. “That would be great. I’ve never seen it.”

He looked over his shoulder at her. How could
she have grown up here and not seen the dam? Just one more example
of the differences in their childhoods. He’d grown up across town
from her, but his family had spent lots of time on the lake. Daddy
bought the boat when they were just kids. They’d piled on it every
summer until they outgrew it. Then after he started his practice
Andrew had bought the other boat so there would be enough room for
all of them again.

She grew up a half an hour away from one of
the best bass lakes on the east coast and he bet she’d never even
been out on the water. He was caught by an overwhelming urge to
protect her, to give her everything she’d grown up without.

In the summer, the wide expanse where the
Roanoke and Blackwater Rivers converged before the dam was filled
with boats, but as soon as the kids went back to school for the
fall, the lake emptied out. He wove around the S curves, Autumn
clinging to him, and the lake opened in front of them. The
mountains came to a V with the dam in between. There were a handful
of boats on the water but nothing large enough to make much of a
wake.

He wove across the water and heard Autumn
squeal with delight behind him. The sound of her laughter was
enough to keep him zipping back and forth. After a few passes,
Rachel and Taylor caught up with them and they raced each other
back to the cove like they’d done as teenagers.

“
This can’t be your first
time on the lake, can it?”

The question was innocent enough, but
something in Andrew’s tone made Autumn uncomfortable.

“
Yes, it is.
It’s beautiful out here. I can see why you love
it.” Balancing a paper plate on her lap, she took a sip of her diet
coke and tried to look confident.

“
I can’t believe you’ve
lived here all your life and have never been out on the lake.”
Andrew was perfectly polite, his soft southern drawl oozing charm.
But his words made her feel like
she was
facing off against Mrs. Adair instead of Jude’s best
friend.

“
It’s not something my
family did. It really is beautiful.” She looked out over the water
to avoid having to make eye contact with anyone.

“
I believe I met your
grandmother, dear,” said Jude’s mother. She looked so put together
in her white windbreaker and khaki capris. Even the wind didn’t
have the nerve to mess up her smooth silver bob, but when she
looked at Autumn her eyes were kind. “She belonged to the garden
club, didn’t she?”

“
Yes, ma’am. She loved to
garden.” Autumn smiled at the older woman, grateful for the change
of subject.

“
I remember. She had the
most beautiful camellias. I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“
She raised you and your
brothers and sisters, didn’t she? After your mother died,” Andrew
asked even though he already knew the answer.

He watched her with a prosecutor’s eyes. She
had no idea what she’d done to deserve the extra scrutiny. She
hadn’t seen him since they finalized her gran’s estate. He hadn’t
seemed at all adversarial then. If anything, he’d been a bit of a
flirt.

“
She did. We were lucky to
have her while we did.” Autumn reached for a biscuit she didn’t
want, desperate for something to do with her hands. Max inched
forward from where he sprawled under the flip down table to rest
his head on Autumn’s bare feet. Either he sensed her mood or he had
his eyes on the biscuit. Probably the biscuit.

“
You know Autumn’s brother,
Colin, don’t you Adam?”Andrew asked with mock innocence.

Adam looked up from his plate of chicken, a
wrinkle creasing his brow.

“
Knock it off, Andrew.”
There was steel in Jude’s gaze as he stared down his
friend.

Autumn didn’t understand what she’d done to
Andrew, but she didn’t want them to fight because of her.

“
Isn’t there supposed to be
some kind of cake?” asked Taylor, stepping over from the other boat
where she’d been sunbathing.

“
Yup,” said Bailey, joining
her sister. “I was promised a birthday cake.”

There was some jostling while Rachel got the
cake out of the cooler and Blake lit the candles. Jude used
everyone cramming onto the one boat as an excuse to pull Autumn
onto his lap. She was grateful he’d come to her defense, but even
his arms wrapped around her while they sang to his sister couldn’t
make her believe she belonged there with his family.

Andrew may have acted like an ass, but there
wasn’t anything he’d said that wasn’t true. Autumn held onto Jude’s
arms to ward off the chill which had started to settle over her and
watched the family she wanted desperately but could never have.

When they made love in the morning, Jude was
attentive and so careful with her. He made sure to give her
everything, but he was so tightly controlled. Intent on seeing to
her pleasure but not all that interested in his own.

She shouldn’t complain. Who complained about
an overly attentive lover? But for as much as she loved a good
fairy tale, she couldn’t help but think she would have liked things
better if she and the prince had been on more even footing. After
yesterday, it was clear, at least where their families were
concerned, they weren’t.

Jude left before she got out of bed,
promising to come back after church with pizza for Abby. He hadn’t
said anything about it, but part of her knew he must be questioning
his decision to have her meet his family. God, what a mess.
Yesterday she’d been nervous but happy. For a moment she’d actually
let herself believe she and Jude might be able to have more than
just a fling.

Andrew’s subtle jabs made it clear just how
unlikely that was.

If she hadn’t fallen in love with him, a
casual affair might have been enough, but she did love him. It
wasn’t enough now and she had to get out before she lost the rest
of her heart.

She paced beside her car in the church
parking lot. The last thing she wanted to do was run into Mrs.
Adair or someone like her. She didn’t think she could take a
reminder of her inappropriate heritage today.

Where the hell was Summer?

She smirked at the inappropriateness of
cursing – even internally – in front of the church, but it was
almost time for service to start. The blue hairs were settled
inside, and as she watched, the remaining stragglers made their way
up the steps to the vestibule. If Summer and Abby didn’t get there
soon they’d have to wait for one of the ushers to sneak them in the
back.

She called, but the phone just rang. They
must be on their way. She rocked on her heels and fiddled with her
skirt as the ushers closed the massive oak doors behind the last of
the latecomers. Well that did it. No sense standing outside, she
thought, climbing into the car. She’d parked in the back where she
could see the parking lot entrance. She couldn’t miss Summer’s
car.

Five minutes turned into ten and worry played
in the back of her mind. It wasn’t that far from Summer’s trailer
to the church. What if something had happened to her? To Abby? She
tried the phone again and listened anxiously to the ringing. Still
no answer.

After ten more minutes, her nerves
practically vibrated. Something was wrong. If she was going to be
this late, Summer would have called. Images of Summer’s car smashed
into one of the poles lining Main Street flashed into her mind and
her hand shook as she put the key back into the ignition.

She drove, hands white knuckled on the
steering wheel, toward the trailer park. As she made her way down
each tree-lined street she flipped back and forth between berating
herself for overreacting and the certainty she’d see her sister’s
mangled car around the next turn. She wanted to try to call again,
but she didn’t ever talk on the cell and drive. She’d learned early
on to take driving seriously.

This was silly. Summer probably got tied up
running some kind of errand before church. For all Autumn knew she
might be waiting in the parking lot, wondering where she was. But
she would have called. Unless she forgot her phone. It could be on
the counter at the trailer and Summer and Abby could be at the
church safe and sound.

But if that was the case, she should have
passed them.

The relief she felt when she saw the beat up
Escort still parked in front of her sister’s trailer was
immediately replaced by a sense of dread much greater than some
abstract worry about a car accident. She slammed her car into park,
kicked off her heels, and flew barefoot up the rickety wooden
steps.

She shoved the flimsy front door open without
bothering to knock. Abby stared up at her from the couch, tears
streaking her cheeks.

“
I knew you’d come.” Before
she finished saying the words her lip shook and a fresh wave of
tears spilled from her eyes.

“
Aw baby, It’s okay.”
Autumn dropped to her knees on the grimy carpet and pulled her
niece into her arms. The little girl collapsed, shuddering against
her chest. She felt so small and vulnerable; Autumn’s heart broke.
“Don’t worry. I’ll make it okay.”
God,
please let it be okay.
“Where’s your momma,
baby?”

“
Sleeping.” Abby turned,
her face still wet with tears, to look at Autumn. The barrette
holding her soft blond curls sat crooked on the back of her head,
but her expression had shifted slightly from forlorn to angry. “I
told her she had to get up. It was time to go. But she
wouldn’t.”

Fear made Autumn’s stomach tighten as she
stood, but she willed herself to stay calm for Abby’s sake.

Autumn hesitated with her hand on the bedroom
door. “Is Dwayne in with her?”

Abby shook her head. “He didn’t come home
last night. Momma was sad.”

Autumn was already pushing the door open
afraid of what she’d find on the other side.

Blankets hung over the window made the room
dark, but Autumn could make out the sleeping form of her sister
under a pile of blankets. She flipped on the light and hurried to
the side of the bed.

“
Summer honey, wake up.”
She gently shook her sister by the shoulder shocked again by how
frail she felt under the thin cloth of her t-shirt. Summer’s
eyelids fluttered but didn’t open.

“
Wha…”

“
Wake up, honey. You have
to get up now.” Autumn shook her again and tried to get an arm
under her sister’s shoulder to help her sit up.

“
I told you, Momma.” Abby
stood in the doorway in her rumpled church dress, her hair escaping
from the lopsided barrette.

“
Abracadabra, could you
wait in the living room until I get your mother up?”

Abby nodded and backed out of the room.

“
Summer, get up. You don’t
want Abby to see you like this.”

The slurred speech and sweaty blankets were
too close to some of their mother’s morning hangovers. She didn’t
want that for Abby, and she knew Summer wouldn’t either. Her sister
struggled to sit up, still not opening her eyes. She was so weak;
she barely managed to stay upright.

“
What did you
take?”

Summer grumbled something incoherent and
started to slide back down into the covers.

“
Summer, damn it! Tell me
what you took or I’m calling 911.”

“
No, no ambulance.” Her
sleepy voice rasped and she waved her arm toward the nightstand,
knocking an orange prescription bottle to the floor. Tiny green
pills disappeared into the carpet.

Autumn bent to pick up the prescription
bottle and fished through the dirty shag yarn to retrieve some of
the pills. She’d come back later to clean up the rest. The label on
the bottle of oxycodone had Summer’s name on it. At least that was
something. She twisted the cap back on the bottle and turned to see
her sister lying down again.

“
That’s it. We’re going to
the hospital.” She could call Jude, but after the day on the boat
with his family the last thing she wanted to do was invite him into
this mess. He’d probably send them to the hospital anyway, just to
be sure.

She dug through Summer’s drawers and pulled
out the first faded pair of jeans she put her hands on. Autumn
threw back the covers and odor of sweaty, unwashed sheets assaulted
her, taking her back to her nine-year-old self standing in a
trailer with her eight-year-old sister by her side wondering what
they were going to feed themselves and their baby brother.

“
God damn it, Summer. Wake
up!” She started to wrestle her sister into the jeans while angry
tears burned her eyes.

“
Leave me alone.” Summer
kicked feebly at the denim. “Just need to sleep. Be okay if I can
sleep.”

“
No, we’re going to the
hospital.” She couldn’t stand the idea of bringing Jude into the
mess. Of him seeing her family like this. The emergency room would
at least be a little more anonymous. “And then you and Abby are
coming to live with me.”