Fear of Falling (47 page)

“Nah, man,” I chuckle. “I’m ready. Bring it on.”

Yup, you heard that right, too.

After much persuasion, both in and outside of the bedroom, I finally convinced Kami to move in with me. We knew we wanted to raise our child together, and, hell, she was already over most nights, but Kami still had serious reservations about it. She had never lived with a man outside of Dom, and not having the crutch of her friends was seriously freaking her out. But she was getting used to the motherhood thing—you know, putting your own needs aside for your kid—and finally admitted that moving in would be the only logical solution. Plus, there was no way I was letting my newborn go back to the brothel known as Angel’s condo. That place had a revolving door of pussy, and some of it was pretty sketchy.

A shrill wail grabs our attention and we all look towards the door in time to see Angel stumble in, her face streaked with tears.

“Oh, Kam, I’m going to miss you so much!” she cries, falling onto the couch with her friend. “I can’t believe you’re leaving me with Dirty Dom and his band of glitter-wearing gutter sluts.”

“I think you’re mistaking my dates with your Wednesday night stripper conquests. There’s still a layer of edible body dust on the furniture. I feel like Elton John every time I sit on the damn couch,” Dom retorts.

Angel waves him off, yet doesn’t deny his accusations. “So Kam… you’ll still visit, right? We can go get massages and pedicures—Oh my God, can you still get those? Isn’t there like some bacteria you can get that’s not safe for pregnant women? And I read you can’t eat sushi.
Sushi!
But we love…”

Kami cups Angel’s damp cheeks and smiles warmly. “Angel, honey,
breathe
. You’ll still see me. Hell, I’ll be at the bar almost everyday, like always.”

“The
bar?
” CJ scoffs. “A bar is no place for a baby. Not
my
little cousin.”

We all whip our heads to his stern expression. “What?” he shrugs.

Hmph. My cousin, Craig Jacobs, the guy that made it his mission in life to sleep with the entire volleyball team in high school, the same guy who bribed the AV geeks to set up hidden cameras in the girl’s locker room, the very same man that vowed to never commit to one woman ever since his mom walked out on him and his dad, actually said something not centered on tits, ass or all things oral.

Maybe things are changing for the Jacobs men. Hell, maybe there’s a chance that CJ could one day be as deliriously happy as me.

After every box of shoes, clothes, books, and knickknacks is carried into the house, and Angel has cried herself dry, I kick everyone out. Finally, Kami and I are alone. In
our
home.

Kami’s head rests in my lap as I play with her hair and massage her scalp. The TV is on, but I can’t seem to tear my eyes away from her. The woman of my dreams. The woman that will make me a father.

Damn.

I can’t keep my hands off her. And knowing that her body is now more than just my personal playground, I can’t help but be in awe of her.

God, she’s beautiful.

My hand trails down to the edge of her jeans and up her shirt. I rub the bare skin of her belly, so soft and warm under my fingers. Without even thinking, I begin to hum softly, angling myself closer and closer to her stomach. It’s a bittersweet song for us. The song that touched Kami in a way that had her fleeing from the bar with tears streaked down her face. The song that prompted me to follow her, so I could wipe away those tears and hold her tight.

I think that was the moment I fell in love with Kami. The moment she had branded me down to my soul.

“Interesting song you’re humming. What makes you think we’re having a daughter?” she smiles at me.

“A man can dream,” I beam proudly.

“What? No bouncing baby Blaine to carry on the Jacobs name?”

“One day,” I shrug. “But for now, I just want to be our little girl’s hero.”

Kami places her petite hand on mine, lacing our fingers together as we cradle our baby tucked safely in her womb. Then, she looks up at me with that same peculiar gleam in her eyes, causing warmth to spread to every limb, and my heart to swell twice its size.

The look of love.

“I’d like that,” she whispers before leaning up and placing those pouty lips on mine, kindling the warmth into scorching white-hot heat. “Because you’re already mine.”

Dear reader,

If you’re reading this, I want to say thank you. Creating
Fear of Falling
was an extremely emotional journey and sharing it with the world has been just as nerve-wracking. But I did it. And by choosing to purchase and read it, you have helped to expose something that occurs all too often.

Though
Fear of Falling
is partly fictional, the issue of domestic violence is very real. There are far too many Kamis in the world, and most of them never meet their Blaine. And as the story reflects, it affects everyone. Friends, lovers, and especially, children.

One out of four women experience some type of domestic violence in their lifetime. 50% of men who consistently abuse their wives also abuse their children.

I urge you, please, if you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, get help. You don’t have to live in fear. Ending the cycle of abuse is in your hands.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1.800.799.SAFE

www.thehotline.org

Do it for you. Do it for your children. Do it because everyone deserves a happily-ever-after.

The Story
– Thirty Seconds To Mars

Chin Up
– Copeland

Save Me
– Muse

Nobody Knows
– Pink

Beneath Your Beautiful
– Labrinth

Stay Awake – Lydia

Counting Stars
– OneRepublic

Kiss Me
– Ed Sheeran

Daughters
– John Mayer

Demons
– Imagine Dragons

Edge of Desire
– John Mayer

The Only Exception
– Paramore

Fix You
– Coldplay

Love Affair
– Copeland

Hospital
– Lydia

Fix A Heart
– Demi Lovato

All I See
– Lydia

This
– Ed Sheeran

Your Guardian Angel
– The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Let Me Love You
– Glee Cast version, originally by NeYo

A Modern Myth
– Thirty Seconds To Mars

Sparks
– Coldplay

I’m Ok
– Christina Aguilera

For The Love of a Daughter
– Demi Lovato

Hurt
– Christina Aguilera

Get It Over With
– Rihanna

Heart of Stone
– Iko

Alibi
– Thirty Seconds to Mars

Poison & Wine
– The Civil Wars

All I Wanted
– Paramore

Un-thinkable (I’m Ready)
– Alicia Keys

Just Give Me A Reason
– Pink, Nate Ruess

I recently told a fellow author that creating a book was like raising a child- it takes a village. We’d all like to believe that we are brilliant enough to hatch these stories on our own, but the reality is, we draw inspiration and ideas from the people around us. And there are quite a few key people that have influenced me in the creation of
Fear of Falling
, through kind words of encouragement, critiques, suggestions, support and, most importantly, friendship.

First and foremost, I have to thank my family. My husband and children have had to endure their fair share of frozen pizza and takeout (even a few Fend for Yourself nights) in order for me to find time to write. Thank you for picking up the slack so I could throw myself into this story. Without your love and patience, I would have never found the strength and courage to pen FOF. This book is just as much yours as it is mine. I love you all so much.

I must thank my amazing betas that put up with my anxiety-filled messages for the past 2 months. Ashley Tkachyk, L.B. Simmons, Kari Acebo, and Calia Read, I honestly could not have done this without you ladies & I am so incredibly grateful for all the chats, rants, vents & tears we’ve shared.

To my literary partners in crime: Emmy Montes, Claribel Contreras, Gail McHugh, Madeline Sheehan, Karina Halle, Trevlyn Tuitt, Mimi Abraham and Cindy Brown, thank you for all the pep talks and advice. You all are rock stars and it is such an honor to know you. Love you all.

Thank you to the amazing girls of SLJ Books that blow me away daily with their enthusiasm and support. You all are crazy awesome & I am so grateful for all that you do!

Thank you to girls at THESUBCLUB books for arranging a kickass blog tour & being so amazingly supportive.

I have to thank the design genius known as Regina Wamba of Mae I Design for the amazing cover for FOF. Working with you has been a dream and I hope we can create many more beautiful covers in the future.

To my editor, Tracey Buckalew, thank you for reaching out & taking a chance on me. It was down to the wire, but we did it! Thank you so much!

To my awesome formatter, Julie Titus of JT Formatting, thank you for being so patient with me and going above and beyond to create such a beautiful interior. You rock!

To all the amaze-balls blogs and book pages out there that have supported me from day one: THESUBCLUB books, Mommy’s Reads & Treats, First Class Books, The Book Blog, Natasha is a Book Junkie, Kindlehooked, Smut Book Club, The Rock Stars of Romance, Swoon Worthy, Angie’s Dreamy Reads… there are honestly too many to name! I want to thank you ALL for everything you do for the indie community. Without you, we’d all be crazy people, peddling our books on the side of the road.

Most importantly, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart, I want to thank the readers. YOU all are why I do this. YOU have given me the platform to tell my stories. Thank you. A hundred times, thank you.

-S

Books by S.L. Jennings

The Dark Light Series

Dark Light

The Dark Prince

Light Shadows
– Winter 2013/2014

Nikolai, a Dark Light Novella
– Fall 2013

For more information about S.L. Jennings

and her books, visit:

http://www.facebook.com/authorsljennings

http://www.facebook.com/darklightseries

http://www.goodreads.com/SLJennings

Twitter:
MrsSLJ

Continue on to read a preview of

New York Times and USA Today Bestselling author,

Gail McHugh’s,
COLLIDE
.