Fear of Falling (12 page)

“So no one, huh?”

“Huh?” I asked, genuinely confused.

“Dom said you don’t like anyone.”

Heat crept onto my cheeks, urging Blaine to take notice. He did, and reached up to brush his thumb against the apple of my cheekbone down to my jaw. After he had repeated the ritual with the other, I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

“Pretty pathetic, huh?” I asked, not knowing how to respond with his fingers still tracing my jawline.

“No,” he replied, shaking his head, yet still intently focused on the movements of his fingers. “Absolutely not. Better for me.”

“Better for you, how?”

A smile curled his full lips, causing my eyes to fixate on them. “Well, Kami, I told you before that I wasn’t chasing you. But now…now I am. So it’s better that I know your interest isn’t elsewhere.”

“Oh, is that right?” I smirked. “And what makes you believe that you chasing me will be a sure bet? Just because there’s no one else, that doesn’t mean you win by default.”

His fingertips fell from my face, but he didn’t break contact. They drifted down my throat, stopping to gently fondle my collarbone before sliding down my arm. My skin heated under the soft touch, begging for more. My whole body screamed for more Blaine. It had gotten just a sweet taste, and now there was no going back.

“I know that,” he finally said, making me remember that we were actually having a conversation. “But I am very persistent. I never give up on the things I want. This…you and me…it’s inevitable. There’s no use in fighting, Kami. It’s going to happen. And when you are madly in love with me, the only thing you’ll regret is not falling sooner.”

I was never one to believe in fairy tales. I always figured that when things were too good to be true that they were just that—a beautiful lie. So after Blaine declared that he was, in fact, actively pursuing me, I knew there was a catch.

Even though Friday and Saturday came and went without incident, with Blaine remaining his usual flirtatious, incredibly enticing self, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. Nothing should be this good. The way he’d look at me, those brown eyes stirring something deep inside me, it was much more than I deserved. I kept waiting for something to come crashing down, shattering the perfect picture I had painted of him in my mind. But nothing happened. Not until Sunday, when a sledgehammer disintegrated my tiny slice of hope into rubble.

We had been open for a few hours and were expecting a slow day. Sundays usually brought in a few regulars, but since it wasn’t football season yet, most people were out enjoying the warm weather with their families. Blaine was in a good mood. Things between us had been comfortable and easy, though I still would break out into a deep blush whenever his arm grazed mine or our eyes would lock. The past two nights had been so crazy that we hadn’t had much alone time. I think we were both looking forward to the slower shift, and I was secretly hoping that Blaine would step his game up. I wanted to experience the Blaine Jacobs persistence that he so confidently believed would eventually break me down and make me fall madly in love with him. As if
that
could ever happen. But, hey, there was no harm in trying.

“Hold still just a sec,” he said suddenly, as I was filling a beer order for Lidia, one of the waitresses. Luckily, the pitcher was full, and I slid it towards her. She cocked a curious brow and winked at me before heading off to service her tables.

I felt him behind me before we even made contact. There was something about his scent that drove me absolutely mad. It was masculine, natural and impossibly erotic. I could pick it out even among the sea of scents at a department store fragrance aisle. By the time I felt his hands at my waist, I was high off the smell of mint and spice, and drunk with anticipation. They were firm yet somehow gentle as they gripped my hips, drawing our bodies together. When his chest and abs were flush against my back, I felt as if I might pass out. That’s when I realized I had stopped breathing.

“Kami,” he whispered, his lips on my earlobe unapologetically.

I wanted Blaine’s ways of persuasion, and now I was getting it. Oh, sweet baby Jesus, was I getting it.

Warm breath slid down my throat and caressed the top of my chest, spilling down into my shirt. “Here, let me help you,” he rasped.

Blaine’s fingers traced the edge of my jeans, skimming the tiny bit of exposed skin that my tight Dive tee couldn’t conceal. That’s when I looked down and realized that he was retying my apron. His hands were at the base of my spine above my tailbone, driving me insane as they slowly worked those strings into a bow. What should have taken him mere seconds was drawn out into a vicious assault on my senses. I wondered what else he could prolong with those fingers, the possibilities causing a flame to spark between my legs.

Though I knew my apron was secure, Blaine’s hands never strayed. They coasted back to my front, stopping at my hipbones as he pulled me back into him. My head was leaning back onto his shoulder while his head dipped further into me, warm lips grazing my neck. My eyes fluttered closed reflexively as a low moan seeped out before I could stop it.

“God, you smell good,” he breathed, running his soft lips from my earlobe down to my collarbone. “I bet you taste as good as you smell.”

“Why don’t you taste and see?” a voice moaned. It sounded like mine, but there was no possible way it could have come from me. It was too confident, too self-assured. There wasn’t a trace a fear laced between those words.

“Can I?” he teased. He knew damn well I was ready to let him sample every bit of my body in that moment.

The gruff sounds of a clearing throat cut into our aroused senses like a knife. Blaine and I broke apart in time to catch the narrowing eyes of Mick. He glared disapproving daggers at his nephew before snorting and retreating to the back office. Mick was a man of very few words, but I could tell he didn’t like his bartenders canoodling on the job.

“Shit!” I whispered, covering my beet-red face with my hands. Blaine had the nerve to chuckle, eliciting a smack on the arm from me. “Not funny, Blaine! We’re gonna get fired!”

Blaine let out a pompous half-snort. “There’s no way that’s happening. Let me worry about Mick.”

“Well,
you’re
his family. Of course, he won’t fire you. But I’m still new here. I don’t want him to think I’m just a walking, talking set of T&A. I want to earn my place here.”

I swear I heard Blaine groan just at the mention of tits and ass.
Such a man.
Yeah, he seemed like a rare breed, but I had to remember that Blaine Jacobs was a male, and therefore, could not be trusted. Yeah, that’s what I should’ve been thinking, but my mind was still clouded with the remembrance of his lips caressing my neck. Blaine had completely dismantled me without even really kissing me.

Seeing the flush rising on my cheeks, he stepped into me, close enough for me to damn near taste the air he occupied.

“You’re right. I’ll try to tone it down here. But I need us to finish what we started. I need to see you outside of work. Tonight. Just us.”

My breath expelled in short pants as I tried to regain my wits. It wasn’t just my nerves rising at the thought of being alone with Blaine. It was panic. Terror.
No, no, no,
this wasn’t happening.
Not now, please God, not now.

“Kami, are you alright?” he asked, all traces of seduction wiped clean from his face. “You don’t look so good. Here sit down.”

Blaine grabbed a stool and eased me onto it, just as dizziness claimed my balance. I quickly leaned forward, steadying myself with his body and placed my head between my legs. Then I started the countdown in my head…from twenty. It had truly turned out to be a shitty day.

After a while, the hot clamminess of my skin cooled into a sheen of sweat that blanketed by whole body. My heartbeat slowed from techno to an R&B groove. When I was sure that the dizziness and nausea had ceased, I raised my head and risked a peek at Blaine. Now he knew. There was no hiding my psychosis now. All the better; now I wouldn’t have to be the one to break a heart. I’d have the privilege of being on the receiving end this time.

Blaine looked down at me with nothing but concern etched onto his handsome face. With the halogen lights beaming down directly behind his head, his light brown hair creating a halo of sorts, he reminded me of a sexy, dark angel. There was no disgust, no humiliation, radiating from him. There was only worry for me.

He stroked my cheek adoringly, not even cringing at the tiny beads of sweat that had sprouted in the last 30 seconds. Then he smiled, emitting warmth and comfort in that simple gesture, telling me that it was ok. That I was safe and he was there to, once again, catch me.

His eyes flickered up, and he held a finger up to someone, telling them he’d be with them in a moment. Then he squatted so he and I were eye level, and took my face in his hands.

“You scared me,” he whispered. The pads of his thumbs drew circles on the apples of my cheeks. “How are you feeling?”

I nodded, but I couldn’t find it in me to tell him I was okay, because I knew I never would be. I would always be a nervous fucking wreck, successfully ruining any hopes of a normal relationship.

I swallowed, though my mouth was as dry and thick as cotton. “I’m sorry.” It seemed like the right thing to say.

“Hey, you have nothing to be sorry about.” A small frown rested between his brows. “Don’t you dare apologize. You did nothing wrong.”

With his hands still cradling my cheeks, I wanted to believe him. His touch did strange things to me, including making me ignore the warning signs that could have helped us to avoid this drama.

“I’m going to get you some water. Will you be ok to sit here for just a second?”

I smiled my most convincing smile, despite being completely humiliated. “I’m fine. I feel normal now.” I tried to get up to prove it, but Blaine quickly dampened my efforts.

“No, sit here. Don’t try to stand yet. Let me get some water and food in you first.”

I sat idly, feeling like an invalid, while Blaine fetched a cold bottle of water and a basket of fries from the kitchen. He demanded I at least try to eat and drink while he apologized to the waiting customers and quickly filled their orders. I told him I could help, but he wouldn’t hear any of it. I wasn’t about to argue and draw even more attention to myself.

When I had consumed enough food and fluids to appease Blaine, I excused myself to the ladies room to freshen up. Mascara had settled in the corners of my eyes, and sweat-drenched strands of hair stuck to my neck and forehead. I looked like a hot, sweaty mess, and it only added to my embarrassment. I fixed myself as well as I possibly could and made my way back to the front. I needed to work my ass off and redeem myself. Plus, if I appeared busy, maybe Blaine wouldn’t question what brought on the sudden episode.

However, my game plan was quickly forgotten when I spied a pair of boobs practically playing patty-cake with Blaine’s face.

Neither Blaine nor his “friend” noticed when I reentered the bar until I asked a customer if they needed to be helped. It was obvious that Blaine was too busy helping himself to two Slippery Nipples.

“Oh, uh, I don’t know if you two have met, but Kami this is Wendy, an old friend from high school. Wendy this is Dive’s hot new commodity, Kami.”

I rolled my eyes at Blaine’s description of me. It was a typical
man
move—trying to diffuse the situation with flattery or humor instead of just admitting that he was a super-douche. I shook off my annoyance and quickly gave Wendy a tight smile and a wave. There was no way I was letting him know I was bothered.

“Well, aren’t you just the cutest little thing,” Wendy remarked in her heavy southern accent. All that was missing were daisy dukes, blonde pigtails and mid-drift top adorned with cherries. “The guys here must just eat you up, huh? I bet that CJ has been puttin’ the moves on you. You certainly are his type.” Her eyes ran the length of my body as she took a sip of her Appletini. Typical.

“Is that so?” I replied flippantly. “And what type is that?”