Authors: Jack Wildman
She shared stories of difficult clients, excited clients, and clients with ideas that far outstretched their budgets and clients that were clearly moved by how the events turned out. For the entire conversation Edward listened intently to her stories, asking questions and laughing uproariously at the most amusing moments that she shared.
“And he just couldn’t understand why I couldn’t find a real life Dumbo!” Suzanne cried at the end of her final story, “So I’m stuck explaining to a ten year old that elephants don’t have huge ears. Then I ended up getting a man in a suit and he was totally happy with that. I couldn’t believe it, all that stress and worry and a suited guy was all that mattered.”
Edward threw his head back and laughed uproariously. His laugh was louder than anyone else’s on the table.
“So Ms Jones,” another man asked, “have you always been a Miss or is there a Mr Jones in the picture?”
Suzanne paused before she answered the question, a tinge of pain and grief running through her.
She looked around the table as she took a deep breath and saw the expressions of pity on the faces of the women, and the semi-hidden shimmer of desire in some of the eyes of the men. It was the pity that angered her more than anything else, she had seen it far too often lately. As she looked around at the people on the table she noticed that Edward seemed to be leaning forward and staring at her intently, as if hanging on tenterhooks waiting for the answer and her heart began to pound a little harder even as the pain faded. She finally took another deep breath and answered the question.
“There was a Mr Jones,” she said slowly. “Unfortunately it seemed that he didn’t want to be Mr Jones for much longer and ran off with his secretary. It turned out I’d married a cliché.”
She couldn’t keep the bitterness from her voice, noticing the way that it seemed to twist into self-mocking despite her best efforts to remain neutral. The looks of pity on some women’s faces turned to sympathy and her anger faded a little more.
“Oh some men just can’t help themselves,” said an older woman. “My Edgar did it more than twice and like a fool I took him back every time. Thank God I finally found some self-respect and left him for good. Believe me sweetheart, you’re much better off without him. Don’t take him back, no matter how much he begs.”
“Trust me I have no plan to take him back,” Suzanne said confidently and firmly, “I refuse to be more of an idiot than I was before.”
“Good on you girl!” the woman said, toasting Suzanne with her drink before taking a big gulp.
Some of the other women laughed too, toasting her. Edward toasted her too, and smiled gently even though he said nothing.
The conversation turned to other topics and Suzanne listened intently.
Now and then she would be smiling at a joke and she would catch Edward’s eye and their gazes would lock for a while. Now and then he would talk to her alone as individual conversations would spring up and they would discuss their work slightly. She noticed though during those conversations that he always turned their talk back to her no matter what the topic turned to. Slowly the dinner drew to a close and people began to drift away towards the bar, she felt her heart racing and sinking at the same time. She didn’t want to leave the table, to say goodbye to Edward and maybe never see him again, even if he was married. Suzanne eventually decided that she had overstayed her welcome at the table and really wanted to change into something more comfortable.
Just as she was about to stand though someone asked her a question that made her stop where she was.
“What about you Mr Connor?” One of the older women asked, “Do you have a Mrs Connor waiting for you at home?”
“I don’t, no” Edward said a little sadly. “Well I do… sort of. I’m in the middle of separating from my wife and I had to get away.”
Suzanne didn’t hear the response from the rest of the table. All that she could hear were the words running through her head, ‘
I’m separating from my wife’.
She felt her heart racing with excitement, maybe there was a chance for her after all, a chance to talk to Edward more and see whether the connection that she felt was real or whether it was all in her head. Butterflies fluttered around in her stomach and voices all around her were just buzzing in the back of her mind.
“I’m sorry,” Edward said suddenly, “I have to go.”
Edward suddenly stood and turned to leave, catching Suzanne’s eye and smiling gently. She saw the tears that shimmered in his eyes and realised how much admitting this had brought the pain back to him. She smiled back, understanding instantly how he felt.
With Edward leaving so suddenly the rest of the table began to disperse as well, somewhat brought down by the sudden sadness in the air and the feeling that a line had been crossed in the question asking and conversation. Suzanne slipped away, bidding good night to some of the women who had sympathised and toasted her. She couldn’t believe what she had shared and put it down to too much alcohol and the rush of being around Edward and finally talking to him at last.
Suzanne woke up the next morning to the announcement that they were drawing close to port. She got up, dressed and packed and headed up to the deck.
She wanted to see Edward again, to talk to him and see whether there truly was chemistry between them. She hurried up and down the various decks, looking for any sign of that tall dark head but she had no luck. She couldn’t help but feel the regret that she’d not spoken to Edward sooner, that he had waited until their last night on board to approach her and waited to reveal that he was effectively single until there was no chance of their relationship, the little relationship that there was, developing any further.
She knew that she was being ridiculous, even as she continued to search for him. She wasn’t looking for a new man, she wasn’t able to truly trust again and she barely knew Edward. She had told herself it was just an infatuation, something drawing her to him with no explanation and it was something that she should ignore. But she couldn’t and she just kept looking for him. She didn’t know how to find him otherwise, having thrown away the pamphlet in a fit of determination to put him out of her mind. She knew his name but that was it. Even though he had mentioned the names of his company she had been so overwhelmed by his very presence that it had completely left her mind.
She looked around once more, heading towards the top outdoor deck and over the railing. By this point the cruise ship had finally made its way in to port and docked. People were scrambling around, hurrying this way and that as they made their way with determination to their destination. Then she spotted him at last and her heart dropped with disappointment. It was
Edward, on the dock surrounded by people. He was climbing in to a taxi, luggage in hand. She would never see him again.
Weeks passed slowly and still Suzanne couldn’t get the memory of Edward out of her mind. The smallest thing would remind her of him and she couldn’t help but kick herself.
It didn’t help that she was still working on a series of events for the cruise company, many of them based on ideas that she had on the very day that she first saw Edward giving his lecture. Even writing copy for the events held on board the ships set her memories racing. She wasn’t getting much sleep, the few hours that she managed to get were often plagued by dreams of Edward and her together in bed. She had confided in friends within days of returning and at first they had been intrigued but they had slowly gotten fed up with hearing her moaning about this amazing man.
“For god’s sake Suzie,” cried Claire, her best friend, one evening. “You barely knew the guy and you’re pining for him worse than you ever pined for He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. And you were married to HIM!”
“I can’t help it,” Suzanne mumbled, staring at the glass of wine in front of her. “There’s just something about him. I’ve tried to forget him, you know I have. I even went on that date with what’s-his-face to try and forget about him.”
“And you called him Edward halfway through the date,” Claire pointed out. “Suzie, you know nothing about this guy apart from that he’s gorgeous and he’s leaving his wife. That isn’t a good sign. You have to forget about him!”
“I know,” Suzanne cried, dropping her head into her hands, “I know and I’m trying. I’m trying so hard.”
“I know you are,” Claire said, wrapping an arm around her friend’s shoulder. “And I can’t tell you how glad I am that you’re actually interested in someone new but this pining is just too much.”
Suzanne ran through that conversation in her mind every time she found it drifting to the few scant memories of Edward that remained in her head. She congratulated herself every time she spent at least an hour not thinking of him and slowly the memories started to fade.
Then one day her email pinged, a new message was in her inbox and she opened it up to look. She didn’t recognise the address, the company name was none that immediately sprung to mind. She ran a virus scan and when it came up clean she finally clicked on it to open. It was short and to the point.
Hi S. - From E.
She knew instantly that it was from Edward and that he must be feeling the same way towards her that she was feeling towards him.
CHAPTER 2
Suzanne didn’t respond to the email. She just sat there, staring at it in disbelief after first reading it. She shook her head, unable to believe that he had actually emailed her, and closed the inbox, deciding that it must be a hallucination brought on by too much thinking about Edward. She returned to her work but a few minutes later opened her email again. There it was, still taunting her and throwing it in her face that yes, he had gotten in touch and yes, he had remembered her full name and the name of the company that she worked for. There was no doubt.
Still though she closed the email again and tried to return to work. The pattern repeated itself for a few hours. Suzanne would try to return to work and ignore the email but the thought of it would taunt her and stick in her head, distracting her from everything else until finally she looked at it again. A part of her was expecting the email to be gone when she opened it one time but it never was. It was always there. One sentence, no names.
Hi S. - From E.
She leaned forward and stared at her screen.
“Hey Suzie, where do you want the roses sending?” Tiffany asked as she stepped into Suzanne’s office, “Was it the twenty one year olds’ wedding or the forty year olds’ wedding?”
Suzanne just hummed with distraction, not really paying any attention to what Tiffany was saying.
“Suzanne?” Tiffany asked. “Suzie what’s wrong?”
The younger woman edged her way around the desk, coming up behind her boss who made no move to stop her. Instead Suzanne just kept glaring at her computer screen as though it had done her a misdeed. Tiffany looked between her boss’s face and the screen, trying to figure out what had caused this.
She had gotten the same look on her face from emails before, usually from the weirder clients, and there was an email open now. Tiffany leaned forwards further, reading it over Suzanne’s shoulder. It was boring, no questions, no demands, barely even a proper email. So why was Suzanne looking so angry.
“Who’s E?” Tiffany asked.
Suzanne started in surprise and her head slipped off her hand, almost slamming on to the desk. She caught herself though and turned to glare at Tiffany.
“What have I told you about reading over my shoulder?” Suzanne snapped, “In fact what have I told you about reading my emails full stop?”
“Don’t do it,” Tiffany said, repeating what she had heard so often in a dull droning voice. “It’s rude and unprofessional. But seriously, who is E?”
“No one,” Suzanne said quickly. Too quickly.
“Oh my god!” Tiffany squealed, “It’s the cruise ship guy isn’t it!”
“No!” Suzanne said too quickly again.
“It is, it is!” Tiffany cried, jumping up and down. “Oh my god he’s finally emailed you.” She hit her friend and boss on the shoulder, “And you thought it was all in your head.”
“It’s just an email,” Suzanne said slowly. “He probably doesn’t even remember me properly.”
“Please,” Tiffany sneered as she headed out of the room. “No one sends an email three weeks after they meet someone after searching out that someone’s email address because they weren’t given it.”
“He didn’t even use my name,” Suzanne called after her.
“He probably wasn’t sure that he got it right,” Tiffany said, poking her head back around the door. “I never use a full name when I’m texting a guy just in case he gave me a wrong number. Email him back and meet him! You’ve been going on about him long enough.”
Suzanne watched as Tiffany’s blond hair disappeared around the corner and she decided to call the other blond in her life.
“Claire?” Suzanne said as soon as the phone was answered. “Are you busy?”
“I’ve tidied the house and I’m watching Jeremy Kyle repeats.” Claire said distractedly, “What do you think?”
“Ooh which one is it?” Suzanne asked excitedly.
“It’s with the one where the girl slept with two brothers and one of them might be the father of her baby,” Claire said, “Jeremy’s sending them backstage because they won’t stop arguing and the big tattooed security guard is holding them back.”
“So it could be any of them then,” Suzanne said slowly. Then her eyes caught sight of the email again and she remembered why she was ringing. “He’s emailed me.”
“Who?” Claire asked distractedly. “That annoying client with the weird moustache?”
“No…” Suzanne said slowly, “Edward…”
“Wait what?!” Claire asked sharply. Suzanne heard the sound of the TV cut out in the background. “Who’s emailed you?”
“Edward,” Suzanne said quietly. “He somehow found my email address and emailed me.”
“The guy from the cruise?” Claire asked, “What’s he doing emailing you?”
“I don’t know!” Suzanne cried, “That’s why I rang you.”
“Well what’s he said?” Claire asked, clearly trying to hide the excitement in her voice, “Was it a declaration of undying love?”
“No,” Suzanne said, laughing before she quickly sobered. “It’s only says ‘Hi S from E,’ that’s it.”
“That’s it?” Claire said, disappointed. Suzanne heard the sofa rustling and figured that her friend had sat back on her sofa. She could picture Claire in her mind, slumping on her sofa, bottom lip sticking out in a pout and stroking the cat as it came up to her for a cuddle, “Really?! He goes to all that effort to find your email address and that’s all he sends?”
“I thought you didn’t like him,” Suzanne said slyly.
“I don’t,” Claire said. “It’s a bit disappointing though. He goes to so much effort to find you and then barely says anything when he actually plucks up the courage to send you an email. What kind of man is he?”
“I…I don’t know,” Suzanne said, stuttering. “I just… What do I say?”
“Nothing,” Claire snapped. “If he doesn’t bother to send you a decent message he’s not worth it.”
“But -” Suzanne began to say.
“But nothing,” Claire said firmly. “He’s made an effort but it’s not enough. You know nothing about this guy and he wouldn’t reveal anything about himself when you were talking. What makes you think that talking by emails will be any different?”
“I don’t know,” Suzanne said sadly, “I just thought that maybe he might open up a little more.”
“He opened up on the cruise remember,” Claire pointed out. “He had too much to drink and admitted that he was leaving his wife but that’s all you got. That’s a pretty big thing to admit and he probably only said it so that you knew and he could have had a chance to get into your knickers. But he didn’t tell you anything else remember.”
“Oh… yeah,” Suzanne said. She could feel her heart sink. “So I shouldn’t email him back then?”
“No!” Claire cried. “He’s bad news Suzie, my gut’s screaming at you to ignore him and have nothing else to do with him.”
“I don’t know.” Suzanne said reluctantly.
“Suzanne Jones!” Claire cried, using what Suzanne called her angry mother voice, “I am telling you that you need to stay away from him.”
“I’ll think about it,” Suzanne said, spotting Tiffany lurking by the doorway. “I have to go.”
She could hear Claire crying out to her as she put the phone down but paid her no more attention. She knew that Claire was right but she couldn’t help feeling that there really was something there between her and Edward. Suzanne looked at the email one more time before shrinking the window and staring at the doorway. She could see Tiffany pacing back and forth in front of the door, glancing into her office every now and then before continuing on her way. Suzanne watched the younger woman for a while before she eventually got tired of watching her go back and forth.
“Tiffany!” Suzanne called.
“Yes?” Tiffany said, popping her head around the door frame, trying to look as though she hadn’t been lurking.
“Did you want something?” Suzanne asked, poking at her keyboard.
“Well…” Tiffany said reluctantly, stepping into the office and looking innocent, “I was just wondering whether you’d emailed him back yet.”
“No I haven’t,” Suzanne said, not even needing to ask which ‘he’ Tiffany was referring to. “Claire thinks that I need to stay away from him. He’s too closed off, at least he was on the cruise, and I barely know anything about him.”
“You know you’ve got a major lady boner for him,” Tiffany pointed out. “You can’t stop going on about this guy, I’ve been listening to you talk about him for weeks. He’s finally got in touch, why wouldn’t you message him back?”
“I don’t know what to say,” Suzanne said miserably. “We barely spoke and he’s not exactly given me much to go from with this message.”
“He’s going to be as nervous as you are I bet,” Tiffany said, perching herself on the edge of Suzanne’s desk. “He’s a guy and he’s probably not used to having to make the first move. He was married for god knows how long after all. He probably got married before they even had mobile phones. You know, back in the stone age.”
“He’s not that old,” Suzanne said drily.
“Whatever,” Tiffany said, waving her hand around. “Just talk to him and see where it goes. And if you end up getting laid, you owe me.”
“Tiffany!” Suzanne cried.
“What?” Tiffany asked with a whine. “All I’ve heard is these stories, I want to see this guy for myself. I want to know what’s got you all hot and bothered about him.”
“Fine!” Suzanne snapped, “I’ll message him back. Now, don’t you have some work to do?”
Tiffany shot to her feet and hurried away to her own desk, crying out about caterers and fabric sellers. Suzanne watched her friend and colleague go, unable to fight back the smile. She was grateful for Tiffany’s insistence that she message Edward back. She had wanted to, desperately, but Claire’s words of warning had scared her a little and made her question whether or not their connection was in her mind and whether maybe Edward was only after one thing. Tiffany had indulged her more fantasist side and the other woman had spoken all the thoughts that had been running through her head out loud, reminding her of the excitement and exactly what that attraction to Edward felt like. Her mind was made up, she would send the reply. Now she just needed to decide what to say.
Suzanne opened the email programme once more and stared at Edward’s email. She juggled the different responses through her mind even as she hit the respond button. She could be eager, show her excitement at hearing from the man, or she could play it aloof and pretend that she couldn’t quite remember him.
She could always suggest reluctance that she wasn’t completely sure who he was but the name rang a bell. It was hard to judge which way to go, difficult to figure out which style of response would ensure another message. Suzanne agonised over it and eventually closed her eyes, took a deep breath and drew her keyboard towards her. There was only one way to go.
‘Hi Edward,
I hope it is Edward as I can’t think of any other E’s that I’ve met who don’t have my email address. This is Suzanne. We met on the cruise didn’t we? I think that I’ve got the right person. How are you? Is there anything that I can help you with?
Kind Regards,
Suzanne Jones’
She read through the message a few times and clicked the send button. That was it now, there was no going back. Whatever happened once Edward, and she desperately hoped that it was Edward who had sent the message, opened her email and read it, it was out of her hands. There had been no other way to play it.
Just as he may have been unsure that he was emailing the right person she was unsure whether the email was indeed from Edward or some other person who she had handed her card to and forgotten about. There were many people like that, including several on the cruise. Some had already gotten in touch with her and the company to arrange events. That thought reminded Suzanne to get back to work and she returned to arranging the caterers for an event in a week’s time.
Suzanne delved in to her work and was amazed when she looked up and discovered that it was almost 4pm and time to go home. She checked her email again, fingers crossed for a reply from Edward.
There were the usual spam messages, emails offering pills for erections and penis growth, insurance and PPI repayments, a few messages from clients and one or two suppliers. And then she spotted it, just above the one that she had received earlier, an unread message from Edward with a time stamp of only a few minutes after Suzanne had sent her response.
She glanced at the clock and then at her to do list. She’d finished almost everything and although there were one or two things left to do she knew that if she didn’t read it now it would weigh on her. Just like earlier the temptation of that email would taunt her and she’d end up getting nothing done. Taking a deep breath Suzanne clicked on the unread message and looked at it, holding her breath.
‘Hi Suzanne,
Thank god I got the right person at last. I’ve sent a few of those messages and most people emailed me back insisting they had no idea who I was. There were some weird offers too, even from a couple of guys. I never had any idea how common the name S.Jones was until now.
I’m well thank you, much better than I was on the cruise. Speaking of the cruise, I very much enjoyed our talk that night at dinner and was hoping that you might have some more stories to tell me about your clients. The ones I remember always make me laugh when work gets too bad.