Again the disconcertingly direct gaze. Despite the heat,
Roz shivered.
‘
You suppose,’ Camilla
spoke the words slowly, as if they
were
a new and foreign language to her. ‘Shouldn’t you be
sorry about what
happened between
you
and Jack?’
‘All right. That too. I’m sorry for all of it.’ Roz
shifted
uncomfortably in her seat, pushing
away her untouched coffee
cup and wishing now that she had simply turned
and left when Camilla had answered the door. ‘I presume that Nico isn’t here?’
‘No, he isn’t. You weren’t really expecting me to forgive
you,
were you?’ Dismissing the subject of
Nico, Camilla leant
forwards, her turquoise eyes glittering with intent.
‘
I suppose not. It just
seemed the right thing to say, under
the
circumstances. I wasn’t
expecting
you to be here, for
Christ’s sake.’ Roz shook her dark hair away from
her face in
an unconsciously defiant
gesture. Throughout their time
together
at school,
she
had controlled Camilla quite effort
lessly. Watching her now, in perfect control, was
far less
entertaining. It was like
Laurel slapping Hardy – until it
happened, unthinkable.
‘It was me, of course, whom you spoke to on the phone
yesterday,’ said Camilla, glancing out of the window as if the weather were
more important than their conversation.
‘
I realize that now,’
Roz began to lose her temper. ‘And it
was you,
of course,
who
didn’t pass on my message to Nico.’
Camilla’s smile was triumphant. ‘I
disconnected the
telephone, too.’
‘
And you really thought you had the right to do
all that?’
‘Why not? I
can do anything I want. You certainly do.’
Itching to slap Camilla, and realizing that this was
something
she most definitely must
not
do,
no matter how gratifying it
would be, Roz rose from her chair. She had
to get out of here.
‘
I have a letter here
for Nico,’ she said evenly, placing the
sealed envelope on the table between them. "This time, I think
you
should make sure he receives it.’
Camilla
didn’t even glance at the envelope. Picking up
the coffee cups and crossing to the sink, she emptied their
untouched
contents down the drain.
‘
What a
waste,’ she said briskly. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll see that he gets it. You can find
your own way out, I presume?’
Knowing that she was being ridiculous,
she sprayed air-
freshener around the
kitchen as soon as Roz had left so that no
trace
remained of the heady, sensual perfume she had been
wearing.
It was a shame, she thought idly, that she couldn’t
obliterate Roz herself at the touch of a button.
Then, as she snatched up the
envelope, the tears began to
flow unbidden down her cheeks once more. Too much had
happened in the last twenty-four hours
and now she was
compounding her own
wickedness by reading another person’s private correspondence. This was what
Roz had reduced her to.
But at the same time she felt entirely justified in doing
so. It
would make her feel better for a
start, as if in some small way
she was
getting back at Roz. And what could it be after all,
besides an ‘I’d
like to see you’ note? Camilla ripped the envelope open.
Darling,
Wonderful news – I’m pregnant.
You’re
going to be a genuine Italian papa. And with our looks and our brains, how can
our baby fail? Phone me. All love. Roz.
Dropping the letter on to the table, Camilla wondered
whether Roz had left it in her care knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that she
would
read it.
Chapter 20
When Loulou opened the door wearing
an enormous
violet
T-shirt and nothing else Camilla stepped back,
embarrassed.
‘
Lou, I should have
called first. Am I interrupting some
thing?’
‘
Only a CIA meeting,’
replied Loulou, reaching out and deftly removing Camilla’s dark glasses before
she
could protest. ‘What’s with the
shades, sweetie? Ah . . . say
no more.’
The eyes were red, but not too red,
and Camilla sounded
cheerful enough, which
was a relief
‘
I cried, but not for
long,’ Camilla explained matter-of-
factly.
‘But look, if you’ve got company I can come back
later.’
‘
No need.’ Loulou
stepped aside and waved her past. ‘I was
just being a lazy toad. Come in
and tell me all the gossip. How’s Nico?’
When Camilla had removed her coat and curled up in the
overstuffed armchair with a glass of Sauvignon and Loulou had resumed her
sprawling position on the sofa opposite, Loulou repeated her question.
‘
Nico’s fine, but I’m
afraid we’ve had a bust-up,’ she said
lightly,
although her fingers were tightening their grip around
her glass.
Loulou
almost bounced off the settee in dismay. ‘But why!’
she wailed.
‘I thought you two got along brilliantly. Whatever happened?’
Camilla
forced an uncomfortable smile. ‘We got on a bit too brilliantly, I’m afraid.’
‘Nico
seduced you!’
‘
Actually, I suppose you could say I seduced Nico. It was a big
mistake. I
moved out this morning, as soon as I’d hired my
replacement. It was all my fault,’ she added with a shrug, knowing
that
Loulou would be relaying their conversation back to Nico, ‘but what’s done is
done.
C’est la vie,
and all that. I’ve taken a room at the Arundel Hotel
until I manage to find myself a flat.’
Loulou leant across to refill Camilla’s glass which, to
her surprise, was empty. ‘What a bloody shame,’ she said sympath
etically, then with a wicked grin said: ‘I’ve
never been to bed
with Nico. What’s he like?’
‘
Lovely,’ said Camilla, her eyes sad. ‘The
best. And I wish to God that I’d never done it.’
‘
You could always move back here with me,’ Loulou
suggested hesitantly, and Camilla burst out
laughing.
‘Of course I can’t.’
‘Why the
hell not?’
‘
Simply because, dear Lou,’ she explained slowly, ‘I’m not
blind. I can’t help noticing, for instance, that that crumpled
little heap
of material over there by the door to your bedroom is in fact a pair of boxer
shorts.’
‘
You’re jumping to
conclusions,’ said Loulou, going pink.
‘They could be mine.’
‘
There’s a bottle of Armani aftershave on the top of the stereo,’
suggested Camilla, and watched the shade of pink
deepen from
sugared almond to rose.
‘
I
like
Armani aftershave.’
‘
Particularly
when it’s worn by a good-looking male,’ teased Camilla. ‘So, who is he?’
‘Oh, he’s gorgeous!’ sighed Loulou, abandoning all
pretence
and collapsing back against the
cushions with a look of ecstasy
on her face. ‘I’m really, really in love
this time.’
‘Two reallys,’ observed Camilla with admiration. ‘He must
really
be special.’
‘
He is, he is.’ Loulou
sighed gustily once more, raising her
glass in a salute and managing to
splash red wine into her
shimmering silver
hair. ‘And you’ll be able to meet him later,
he’s coming over at four.’
‘
From the boxer shorts,
I had the impression that he was
living here.’
‘
He will be, before
long.’ The first shadow touched
Loulou’s
face. ‘It’s just that at the minute he’s sharing a
flat with this girl, but as soon as he’s sorted
that out he’ll
move in with me.’
Camilla was silent for a moment. The last time Loulou had
been this excited about a man it had been Mac, and
her high
hopes had been shattered. Now
some inner instinct was telling
her
that events weren’t going to run their course quite as
smoothly as
Loulou was predicting.
‘
He’s living with this
girl, then?’ she said warily, and
Loulou gestured with her free hand,
dismissing the question.
‘She’s nothing to worry about. They were on their last
legs
before I even met Josh. You don’t think
I’m doing a Roz,
do you?’ she said suddenly, gazing at Camilla with a
wounded
expression in her eyes. "They
aren’t
married
or anything,
after all.’
‘Of course you aren’t doing a Roz,’ Camilla responded. ‘She’s
in a class of her own, isn’t she? I just meant that I don’t want
you to get hurt. I hope everything works out for you both.
Really I
do.’
‘
When you meet him, you’ll
know
that it will,’ Loulou
reassured
her. ‘I promise.’
Thoughtfully skirting the subject of
Nico, Loulou steered
the
conversation around to Camilla’s children. Camilla’s eyes promptly filled with
tears.
‘
I feel so guilty. I
love them so much and I miss them terribly,
but I simply can’t cope with the idea of fighting with Jack to
get
them back. He says that I left
them,
so I can take a running
jump. We’ve agreed on joint custody but Jack’s
using every
excuse to stop me seeing them.’
‘
But Toby and Charlotte
are happy,’ said Loulou gently. ‘It
isn’t as if they’re suffering, is
it? They’re away at school most of
the time,
and Jack has Jennifer to help him with them when
they’re home. You told
me yourself that you’re getting on better with both of them now than you did
when you were there all the time.’
‘
I know,’ Camilla nodded
awkwardly. ‘But that only makes me feel more guilty. Maybe I wasn’t a good
enough mother. If
I’d been better, they might miss me more.’
‘
Bullshit. Just thank
your lucky stars that they’re as well
adjusted as they are and make use
of the breathing space. You
need
some time on your own. In a year or two
you’ll be on your feet again, running some wildly successful business, and then
you’ll be able to buy a house big enough for
the three of you
and sort everything out with Jack.’
‘
Run a wildly successful
business?’ Camilla had to smile.
‘Me?’
‘
If you set your mind to
it, you could. Look how far
you’ve come in just a few months. But if you
really don’t feel
up to running one,’ said
Loulou with a naughty smile, ‘marry one instead. Who cares who earns the money,
so long as you
have the right to spend it.’
Camilla hadn’t any idea what to
expect when she met the new
love of Loulou’s life, but she definitely hadn’t expected him to
be black.
Or that big. She could understand why Loulou leapt off the
settee and slid her feet hastily into a pair
of stilettos before
running to fling
her arms around Josh’s waist. The man had to
be six foot five at least.
And black.
Camilla felt guilty all over again,
this time for being so
surprised.
She recalled how one day Toby had come home from nursery school and raved about
his new friend, Leroy. Jack had said, ‘Is he black?’ and Toby had replied
thoughtfully, ‘No, he’s brown. The same as Mummy’s coat.’
Of course, Josh was brown too, his skin the colour of
peanut
butter, tawny against the whiteness
of his baggy cotton shirt
and
loose-fitting beige trousers. And he was very handsome;
his face looked as if it had been carved by a
skilful craftsman.
A small gold ring
pierced his left earlobe and a gold Rolex
gleamed upon his right wrist. When Loulou had finished
hugging
him he came towards Camilla, Rolex arm outstretched.
She caught the scent of Armani aftershave and smiled, taking
his
hand.