Authors: Anne Bennett
It was the last thing Helen expected Philomena to say, and for a moment she was nonplussed, and then she said, âThere is nothing to forgive, and surely the boot's on the other foot?'
âAh, Helen,' Philomena said, âwhat years we have wasted,' and she took Helen in her arms and wept on her sister's shoulder. Kate and Sally both had tears stinging their eyes but, as the sobs filled the air, James had had enough. âWhat's everyone crying for?' he demanded in exasperation. âPeople said it would be fun when my sisters came.'
Kate could see that neither Philomena nor Helen were capable of answering James, and so she brushed the tears from her own eyes impatiently before turning to her younger brother. âIt will be, James, I promise,' she said. Then added, âGrown-ups are funny, and they often cry when they are happy.'
âThat's plain daft, that is,' James said dogmatically. He waited, staring at them for a few minutes more and they, seeing the confusion on his face, tried to get a grip on themselves. When James saw that the crying had ceased and that his mother was wiping her eyes, he said,
âIs the crying all over now you have stopped being so happy?'
Philomena gathered herself together and said with a watery smile, âYes, you cheeky monkey, we've stopped. Now, if you will lay the table for me, we can get on with the meal I have spent hours preparing that is now threatening to spoil in the range oven.'
The meal â succulent slices of ham, and plenty of them, and colcannon with the top crisped and the well dripping with butter, served with creamed carrots and gravy and followed by apple pie and custard â was the finest meal that Helen, Kate or Sally had had in a long, long time. And because of that they did it justice. The conversation around the table though, was a little random, for nothing of any importance, certainly the questions teeming in Philomena and Jim's minds, could be discussed until James went to bed. Such things were not for his ears.
As a result the conversation could have become constrained but for James himself, because he wanted to know what it was like living in a city at war and the three women gladly described the shortages of food and the rationing of almost all products, the terrors and funny instances of a city completely blacked out after dark. Urged on by him, they told him of the terror struck into their hearts when the sirens blasted out and of the heart-stopping bombings themselves. And of the incendiaries that set up pockets of fire and lit the way for the bombers to release their evil loads; when they killed and maimed and toppled buildings and flattened houses and shops and tuned the sky blood red with the numbers of fires burning. Kate did wonder at some
of the things they were telling him but he listened almost spellbound.
âGolly,' he said when they had finished, âit sounds exciting. Scary but exciting. Were you scared?'
Kate glanced at Sally and Helen and said, âI was sometimes. But,' she added, âit's not a bad thing to be scared; the really courageous thing is to recognise that and yet go on regardless.'
âYeah, not let it control you,' Sally said. âSometimes we were too busy helping others to be scared ourselves.'
âIt gets to be a way of life in the end,' Kate said. âIt showed me that a person can get used to anything in time.'
James gave a sudden yawn and Philomena said, âTime for bed, young man.'
âOh, Mammy.'
âDon't “oh, Mammy” me,' Philomena said. âYou were up at the crack of dawn helping your daddy now that it's a holiday from school and you were like a cat on hot bricks all day about your sisters coming. Now they are not going to disappear and will be here when you wake up, but if you don't go to bed now you'll be in no fit state to enjoy their company.'
Grumbling and disgruntled, James bade them all goodnight and the three women hid their smiles at the look on his face. He was tired, that was plain to see and they knew he would be asleep in no time. As soon as he left, they quickly set about clearing away from the meal and they were settled around the table ready to talk when Jim said, âPadraic needs to hear this. It concerns him too.'
Philomena nodded, for it did of course, and while
Jim went to fetch him, she got up to make tea. As she was bringing it to the table on the tray, Padraic came in the door with his wife, Bridget, carrying a bottle of Irish whiskey.
âYou two know each other?' Padraic asked in surprise, looking from Helen to Kate and back again.
âWe have just met, by chance,' Helen answered.
âYes, and I have done Helen a grave disservice by denying her access to her daughter all her life,' Philomena said.
âThat wasn't how it was,' Helen protested. âLet me tell the whole thing.' And Helen told it, holding nothing back, and there wasn't one person around that table who wasn't moved by the end of it.
Then Padraic said, âI still say that we are responsible because it was only chance that Michael didn't rape you, and he certainly did attack you violently.'
âBut I was with child and unmarried, and I purposely misled you all.'
Bridget leaned forward and said earnestly, âThere is not one woman around this table tonight, or indeed in the whole of Ireland, who would not do the same in a similar position.'
âHear, hear,' said Kate. âYou were not the great sinner here.'
âNo, you weren't,' Philomena said with a sigh. âAnd I made you feel you were. I was judge and jury and it was wrong.'
âYou did what you thought best.'
âNo,' Philomena said. âYou have been so honest, and so must I be. I failed you from the beginning. After our parents and siblings died, there was just us two, and I
was many years older than you, and yet I allowed the priest to send you away into service, knowing that I would never be able to see you again, even before you went to Birmingham. You must have felt so lost and alone at times.'
âThis is years ago; it doesn't matter now.'
âIt does to me,' Philomena said. âIt shows a flaw in my nature. When you came because you were pregnant, all I could think about was getting my hands on that baby, and so I did you a disservice as well, Kate.'
âNo, I can't have that,' Kate said. âWhatever reason you did it for, you were good parents to me. None could have been better.'
âYou should have got to know your natural mother as well.'
âThat would have been nice,' Kate conceded, smiling across at Helen. âYes, I would have liked that, but to all intents and purposes I've had a damned good upbringing.'
âI agree with that,' Helen said. âKate is a daughter to be proud of.'
âYou don't think I was too harsh on you?' Philomena asked Kate anxiously.
âNo, not really,' Kate said.
âIf I was, it was because I was aware that I had to bring you up well for Helen too,' Philomena said. âThat's why I reacted so when you told me about the marriage you had with the Protestant pilot, one that wasn't recognized in the Church. I wouldn't have wanted your mother to feel ashamed of you.'
âThere is nothing Kate could do that would make me ashamed of her,' Helen said. âFor a person to have love
in their life is a great gift and, as far as I'm concerned, religion doesn't come into it. All I would ever have wanted is Kate's happiness.'
âOh, Helen,' Philomena cried, âI truly didn't realize how I had broken your heart until I gave birth to Sally. Something happens to you when you give birth to a child, and the thought of giving Sally away ⦠well, if that had happened, I couldn't have gone on.'
âI didn't know that Philomena had sort of banished you,' Jim said. âI thought it odd that you never came to see the child, and then, when Sally was born, Philomena told me what she had laid on you. She was so upset and filled with guilt and regret, and I too felt it keenly. Padraic and Bridget were told, and Padraic and I tried to find you, but it was hard without letting other people into the know, and we dared not do that. In the meantime, you had stuck rigidly to the agreement and vanished into thin air.'
âAnd yet Kate found her after all,' Padraic said. âHow did that come about?'
âThat was a complete fluke,' Kate said. âI didn't go looking for Helen because I didn't even know that she existed.'
âYes, that's right,' Helen said. âThe dressing on Kate's forehead is there to cover the scar from the stitches she had removed yesterday, and she got that injury when she was knocked clean out by a falling roof beam while trying to rescue me and others from buildings that had collapsed due to the bombing. Both her and Sally are very brave girls.' Helen went on: âDuring the most ferocious bombing raids, they were out on the street, helping people find shelter, fighting fires, rescuing people
from burning buildings, digging people out who'd been buried under masonry rubble and treating the injured.'
âOh, my goodness,' Philomena said, looking at her two daughters. âI had no idea of the dangerous work you were engaged in.'
âWe couldn't tell you, Mammy,' Kate said. âThe censor would have cut every reference out. We weren't the only ones: Susie is doing it too.'
âGood heavens, Philomena, you wouldn't know the place,' Helen said. âWomen drive buses and lorries and trams, and work in the most dangerous industries, too. In fact, there isn't anything they don't seem to be able to turn their hands to, and then in the evenings they volunteer as ARP wardens or do fire-watching, or work as part of the WVS. Every person seems to be doing something to help Britain win this war.'
âWell, I'm as proud as punch of both of you,' Jim said, beaming approval at both girls.
âHear hear,' said Padraic heartily.
âI am proud too,' Philomena said. âAstounded and proud. But go on with your tale, Helen.'
âOh, yes,' Helen said, and told her sister how the staff at the hospital they were both taken to remarked on their likeness, and that led to a chain of events culminating in Kate eventually making contact with her mother.
âAnd all the time I wished you would get in touch,' Philomena said. âBut I had been so rigid, just as I was with Sally when she ran away from home. I was hurt and upset, I don't deny that, but people get over these things, and I didn't, not even when she wrote letter after letter saying how sorry she was.'
âMammy,' Sally said, catching up her mother's hand.
âWe can't reclaim lost years. We need to put them to one side and look forward.'
âWell said, Sally,' Jim said. âAnd I think there has been enough confessing for one night. The morning comes soon enough, especially for a farmer. So I think I must seek my bed.'
Only two hours after the three women had left the house in Birmingham, a telegraph boy pulled up outside the gate on his little motorbike, walked up the path and pounded on the door. Phoebe Jenkins â her heart in her mouth, for telegrams seldom convey good news â came out of her door and said, âNo good you knocking there because there's nobody in. I mean, they won't be in for a week or more because they've gone on holiday.'
âOh,' the telegraph boy said. âThe man said it was real important they get this.'
Phoebe thought for a minute and then said, âWell, they have gone to visit their people in a place called Donegal and that's in Ireland. I don't have the address, but Susie Mason probably has and she only lives on Marsh Hill, number sixty. If you get it from her, they can probably redirect the telegram.'
âOh, yeah,' the boy said. âThat's a good idea. If I get the address they can do what they want then.'
Phoebe watched him go down the path, mount his bike and roar off. She bit her lip as she went into the house and prayed the two young women she had grown
so fond of were not going to get more bad news, because in her opinion they had coped with more than enough already.
Â
The next morning, very early, Jim was in the byre going over in his mind the revelations of the night before, when a car drove down the lane and into the yard. Jim knew who it belonged to, a Shaun Dempsey, and his car doubled as a taxi if anyone needed one, but it had never come down their lane before. Curiosity drew him to the door of the byre and he saw a respectably dressed man get out of the taxi, pay the fare and stride up to the door. Kate was passing the door when the rap came on it; she was surprised because it was strange for someone to knock and she'd not noticed the taxi, but when she opened the door, she staggered for the shock was so great.
âDavid,' she cried. âOh, dear God, David.' She felt blackness overwhelm her and, before David could catch hold of her, she had sunk to the floor in a dead faint.
When she came to, she was in the bedroom, and David, a real, live, living and breathing David, was sitting beside her. âI can't believe it,' she said. âLet me touch your face, your eyes. I keep thinking that this is some dream and I'll wake up in a minute.'
David gave a chuckle, the sort of laugh that caused Kate's stomach to go into spasms. âMaybe this will convince you,' he said, and their lips met in the sweetest kiss imaginable.
âOh, my, darling love,' David said, holding her close.
âDavid,' Kate said, savouring the name on her tongue. âFor months I thought you dead and gone.'
âI know you did,' David said. âAnd I couldn't let you know otherwise.'
âBut â¦? How â¦?'
David put his finger to Kate's lips. âSsh,' he said. âI can tell you nothing yet. Your family are waiting downstairs and though I have introduced myself I would not tell them anything else until you were up to hearing it too.'
âMy family,' Kate repeated blankly.
âYes, they are waiting for you downstairs.'
âDo you know â¦?'
âI know that the cut on your head was caused by you trying to rescue people trapped under masonry and one of those was a very beautiful lady by the name of Helen, and she says she is your biological mother.'
âYes,' Kate said. âI have only recently found this out myself. But I don't know my father, so do you know what it makes me?'
âYeah, I know,' David said. âYou are Kate Burton, the same as you were before you uttered that last sentence, and I don't give a tuppenny damn that you don't know your father.'
âYou don't?'
âNot one jot,' David assured her. âDoes it bother you?'
âNot much,' Kate admitted. âAnd I can't really mourn a man I never knew. Anyway, Jim was just about the best father anyone could have.'
âStick with that then,' David said, âFor I have a natural father who is bugger-all use to me, and he has been the same since as long as I can remember.'
âBut there's more,' Kate protested.
âI'm sure there is, but it can be gone into another
time,' David said. âBecause what really matters is you and me.' And so saying, David stripped back the bedclothes, and scooped Kate up in his arms.
âHey,' Kate protested. âI am not an invalid.'
âLet me be the judge of that,' David said. âAnyway, didn't you promise to obey me in a special ceremony a little while ago?'
âOh, you.'
They were all assembled around the table downstairs and, though everyone was concerned for her, Kate saw the naked envy on Sally's face and fully understood it. âI haven't really come to terms with this yet,' she said to them all. âMy head isn't really taking it in, but this is my husband, David, and for months I have thought him dead.'
âWe got that far,' Padraic said. âBut he would tell us no more until you were here too.'
âWell, I'd like to say that it was all due to my heroism,' David said. âBut really it was all down to the bravery of the people of Sumatra.'
âSit down and take the weight off your feet,' Jim said.
âAye, and put that lassie down,' Padraic said with a wink at David. âFor she's a dead weight.'
âYou cheeky devil!' Kate cried, but she didn't object when David sat her down on the settee and then sat beside her, with an arm draped over her shoulder. Philomena pushed tea into both their hands and Padraic said, âNow go on, David; the people of Sumatra, you said.'
âWell, it was a boy saved me really,' David said. âI would say just a little older than you, James.'
âGolly, what did he do?'
âWell, we retreated after the fall of Singapore,' David said, glancing round at them all. âAnd we were pursued by Jap Zero planes and heavily outnumbered. My Spit was hit a number of times and eventually caught fire. I bailed out and was shot to pieces on the way down and lost consciousness as I landed. I was bleeding heavily, so I was told later. This boy took off his shirt and ripped it into strips to bind my wounds, cut through the ropes tying me to the parachute, rolled me into this ditch, covered me over with leaves and left me. I was drifting in and out of consciousness and semi-delirious, but I knew when the Japanese came searching. They stuck bayonets in the ditches and missed my face by tenths of an inch, but they weren't searching as diligently as they might, thank God, because they didn't know where exactly I had landed. I thank God too that they had no dogs, for they would have found me in no time.'
âWhat about the boy?' James asked.
âOh, I didn't see him till much later, and then I thanked him for saving my life.'
âDid he understand you?'
âWell, no, he didn't,' David said. âBut some time later that night I was taken to this woman's house in the middle of the jungle on a sort of litter they had got together. It was so painful that I was jerked awake and bit my lip till it bled to try and stop myself yelling out. I wasn't aware of much for about twenty-four hours, or that's what she said, anyway, and when I came round a bit I was surprised to find she was so young â early twenties, I'd say, and she was British.'
âWhat in God's name was she doing there?' Jim asked.
âHer parents were missionaries,' David explained.
âThey'd been expelled from China and had fled to Malaya, but the Japs arrived before they could be rescued and they had kept going to Sumatra. The Japs caught up with them there and bayoneted this woman's parents and her two sisters, and would have done the same to her, but she was behind the others and able to hide. Her name was Julia Greenwood.'
âTerrible thing for anyone, but maybe especially a young girl, to see her parents and sisters killed that way.'
âI agree,' David said. âThey are butchering bastards, because Julia said her sisters were only youngsters. She was the eldest, and the youngest hadn't even reached her teens. She said she didn't have time to grieve much, though, because it was all about survival â and not just her survival but that of the villagers, who would suffer if she was found. So they made her this shelter in the centre of the jungle and they bring her whatever food they have to spare â no one has much â and she tries to cure them when they are sick because she knows a great deal about natural remedies.'
âAnd she told you about the boy?'
âYeah, but not straightaway because I was very ill when I arrived. She said I often hovered between life and death and she hadn't been sure I would make it.'
âOh, I am so glad you did,' Kate said, giving his arm a squeeze.
âAnd me, darling,' David said. âYour face used to float before me and I would often wonder if I would ever see you again. Julia got me right in the end, though, and told me how I had managed to survive, and then she summoned the boy and conveyed my thanks to him.
She also asked him on my behalf what he had done with the parachute, because if any trace of it had been found in the village, everyone would have been killed and many tortured before they died. They took an immense risk in hiding me.'
âSo what did he do with it?'
âHe tied a big boulder inside it and tipped it into the sea. It sank without trace.'
âSo, did the Japs give up looking for you in the end?' Jim asked.
âMore or less,' David said. âThough there were regular patrols, and then Julia and I would be hidden in the fields. From those who understood a smattering of Japanese, apparently they thought I had landed in the sea and drowned, because no trace of the parachute was ever found.'
âGolly, that's a real exciting story,' James said, greatly impressed. âAnd it's even better than that because it's true.'
âWell, I agree with James,' Padraic said. âThat's a truly amazing story, and I would be pleased to welcome you into the family.'
âAnd I would,' James said decidedly. âOh, boy, that would be grand.'
They all laughed and James said, âIs there any more?'
âNot enough drama for you, is that it?' David said with a grin. âWell, that's about the end of it now, James, except to say it was a few months before I was well enough to be moved, and then weeks before they could arrange to get me off as safely as possible for all concerned. Julia wouldn't come with me. She said there is nothing for her in England now and the people
of Sumatra need her. Now that's what I call real courage.'
âOh, I'll say,' Kate said. âPoor girl, though I can see what she means, with all her family wiped out. At least she feels needed there. But if the Japanese ever found her ⦠Oh, it doesn't bear thinking about. Just the thought of them terrifies me.'
âAnd any other sensible person,' Jim said. âSo how come you're here now, David?'
âWell, they flew me in to Castle Bromwich and I wanted to go straight home, but they said I wasn't well enough and slammed me in the sick bay. I made such a stink, though, that they sent you a telegram telling you I was safe and inviting you up to the airfield, but you were already on your way to Ireland. The telegraph boy told me that some neighbour, probably Phoebe, told the boy to get the address of where you would be from the Masons. I suppose in case the telegram was important. But I was the only one there when he came back, and as soon as I got the address I set off, and caught the night boat. I haven't even got a change of clothes because I wouldn't risk going back to the house, because that's the first place that they would make for.'
âYou've gone AWOL,' Kate said. âWon't you get into trouble?'
âMaybe, but I won't get shot or anything,' David said. âThey said I had to go for convalescence anyway, and then I will be joining Nick at Biggin Hill Airfield, training other pilots, but first I had to see you.'
âWell, I think you are a fine young man,' Helen said. âAnd I'm delighted you are Kate's husband.'
There was a chorus of âHear, hear', and then Philomena was chivvying them all to get ready for Mass. âAw, Mammy, do we have to go today?' James complained. âI want to stay and talk to David.
âWell, that will have to be later,' Philomena said firmly. âDavid has travelled all night and needs to sleep, and Kate is staying here to look after him.'
There were times when it was not worth arguing with Philomena, and Kate saw by her brother's doleful face as he trailed after the others that he had found that out for himself.
David was more tired than he realized, for though he had been somewhat animated when he had been telling them all how he had survived, when the tale drew to a close he had felt the tiredness fold over him, and he was glad to snuggle down in the double bed that had originally been earmarked for her to share with Sally. And as Kate came down the stairs after showing David where he was to sleep, her mother called her into the scullery. âIs there something the matter with Sally?' she asked.
âWhat sort of something?'
âI don't know,' Philomena said. âIt's just that she was fine when she arrived; I mean a bit nervous and that was natural, but it was when David came really. And she had a really funny look on her face when he carried you downstairs.'
Kate was surprised that her mother had been that perceptive, and Philomena went on: âDoes she not like David? Is that it?'
Kate shook her head with a smile. âNo,' she said. âShe likes David well enough, but Sally also met someone in
Birmingham that she was more than fond of. His name was Phil Reynard and he was drafted into the Army like all boys the same age â and that's all most of them were, just boys. Phil and Sally loved each other and they became engaged just before Phil was sent overseas.'
âYou told me none of this.'
âSo you did read the bits in the letters I wrote telling you about Sally?'
âI did, of course, though I could never bring myself to reply,' Philomena said. âI regret that now.'