Famous (Famous #1) (13 page)

My eyes went to her face and then back to Cade’s. My jaw jutted out against my will. I could see the panic behind his eyes when he realized what was going through my mind. “Brook…” he began. I put up a hand to stop him.

I swallowed. “Um… apparently what I’m doing, is seeing things I needed to see.”

He looked all kinds of uncomfortable. The woman next to him looked me up and down, and put a hand on his arm possessively. She was pretty, a blonde, but bitchy looking.

“Who is she, Cade?” she asked him.

I raised my eyebrows in challenge. “Yeah, who am I, indeed?”

He was speechless, frozen in place, as he met my gaze unflinchingly.

“Can I borrow your guitar for a minute?” He continued to look at me, his eyes burning into me. It was almost as if he was touching me. His brow creased as he struggled to speak. “Okay, I’ll take that as a yes,” I murmured, tearing my eyes from his and turning away.

I walked closer and picked up his guitar, then taking it with me, up to the stage. I asked the MC if I could play a song, explaining that I wasn’t able to stay long. He nodded, and moved me up the list and motioned for me to sit down on the bench sitting in the middle of the stage. I looked back at Cade as I readied the guitar on my lap; he was taking in my dress, my legs in the stockings and high-heeled shoes.

When he brought his eyes back to mine, he stared straight into my face without wavering.

The look of shock on his face would have been amusing if the situation wasn’t what so fucking heartbreaking. The woman next to him was trying to get him to talk, tugging on his arm. He shrugged her off, and continued to look at me. It was as if he’d never seen me before.

The crowd silenced when I adjusted the microphone down to my level. It whined and screeched with feedback, making me wince. A few men whistled and hooted at me, but I barely noticed.

“Hi.” I didn’t feel it necessary to say my name. “Um… I’d like to play a song for you called ‘Gravity’. It was written by a new American artist, Sara Bareilles, and it’s about not having choices when it comes to love. Someone I care about introduced it to me, and the lyrics have real meaning in my life.” I cleared my throat as emotions began to flood my heart.

Cade’s eyes widened when I said the name of the song and he swallowed hard. He leaned back in his chair, and brought his hand up to his chin.

My heart thumped in my chest, and my stomach twisted into knots. My hands were shaking so badly, I wasn’t sure if I could play. “I hope you like it.”

I didn’t know if I’d be able to get through it, but I had to try.

I strummed out the first six bars of the introduction, and looked directly at him as I started to sing

He never took his eyes off me for the entire song. I could see the pain in his face, and it hurt me. My throat ached so much that I could hear tears in my own voice; so much, I had to look away a couple of times to keep from breaking down.

Cade frowned while he watched, the muscles along his jaw clenched as he listened to the words he knew only too well. It was clear he was upset because he kept running his hands through his hair. Usually, I adored it when he did that.

It became harder and harder to get the words out as the song progressed, and
as
the final few notes were fading out, and I felt a tear slip from my lashes and slide down my cheek. I wiped at it with the back of one hand

“Thank you,” I said and began to set the guitar down. The applause was thunderous and people were on their feet, shouting.

I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Cade.

I’d risen, and he was trying to rush through the crowd toward me, but was having a hard time making his way around all of the people. Part of me was thankful for that. I felt trapped, like I’d die an absolute death if I didn’t make an immediate escape.

I needed to get out of there fast, or soon, I was going to be a sobbing mess. I could feel the misery welling up and threatening to overflow.

I pushed my way through the crowd toward the other end of the bar, toward the entrance and away from Cade.

“Brook!” he called. “Brook, wait, please!”

I kept going, my eyes on Nathan a few yards in front of me. My vision blurred with tears, but I stumbled through the crowd, pushing my way toward him.

“Brook! Bloody hell! Stop!” Cade was beside me, and grabbed my arm. “Stop… Just wait a second, please.” His voice lowered as he looked at the tears running down my face, his scent enveloped me. Finally, I had the courage to meet his eyes but my face crumpled, and I cried hard.

“Cade, just please, let me go. It’s obvious that coming here tonight was a big mistake.” My voice broke, and more tears slipped from my lashes. I bowed my head when my shoulders began to shake. I couldn’t stop them from doing that, and it felt humiliating to be standing here, in the middle of a bar, in a place I’d never been, with a couple of hundred eyes boring into me… and worse, to witness what I’d just seen.

“Tell me why you’re here,” he commanded softly, his finger lifting my chin so I had to look him in the eyes. He looked sad and anxious. “When I saw you, I couldn’t believe my eyes.” His eyes searched my face, trying to read my mind. “I felt like the earth opened up to swallow me alive.”

I tried to speak, but nothing came out. I opened my mouth, closed it, and then shook my head. “It just… It doesn’t matter now.” I tried again to pull my arm free.

“Goddamn it, Brooklyn! Tell me
why
you’re here!” he pleaded, and grabbed my other arm, which completely prevented me from looking away from his face. We were both breathing hard; standing motionless; as if there was no one else in the room.

Finally, I looked away as I struggled for strength to control the tears in my voice.

Maybe if I tell him the truth, he’ll let me go.

I turned back to him. “I came here to tell you that what you saw in those photos wasn’t real, and that I was ending things with David. That you are who I want to be with.” I started to shake, my face crumpled. Cade took me by the shoulders, and pulled me tightly to his chest.

“But from the looks of things, you’re doing just fine. It didn’t take you long, did it?” A small sob escaped, as I resumed in earnest. “I thought I was going to surprise you for your birthday, but it looks like I’m the one getting the big surprise.” I was angry and hurt; my heart shattered into a million shards that ripped through my flesh and left me bleeding. I renewed my struggles to get free of him, but he was too strong. He moved me away a little to look in my eyes, his brow low over his eyes and his mouth tense.

“Brook, what was I supposed to think? You never said you were mine. How was I to know? Those pictures were like reliving the entire last year as I watched you with him when I wanted you for myself!”

“After the way it was between us… the way it felt! You saw how my heart was breaking when you left. After that, how could you doubt me? You don’t trust me at all.”

I felt the walls were crashing in around me. I tried to push against his chest, but he only held me tighter, his arms going around my back.

“Go back to your… girlfriend!” I said the words softly, but inside I was screaming. His eyes were wide, and he was breathing fast when he looked at my tear stained face

“Brook, this is so fucked up! Please listen to me. Until twenty seconds ago, I thought you were with David!” His voice was thick with pain, as he tried to stop my struggles.

My useless struggles quieted, and defeat filled my voice. “Cade, I beg you, please let me go. Don’t make a scene that neither one of us can afford. We don’t need the rags telling the wrong story to the world. Please, I just gotta get out of here.” I struggled against him again, and this time his arms dropped to his sides. He stood in front of me, staring in stunned disbelief.

“Please don’t follow me.” I turned and ran out to the street, and to the taxi Nate had waiting at the curb.

“No, Brook! Brook! Don’t go. Please!” He was following close behind me, and people in the crowd looked at us as we ran out of the bar. Cade’s friend, Daniel Mayfield, came up beside him, but everyone else left us alone. I was thankful his celebrity madness hadn’t reached the same intensity in England as it had in the States. I didn’t see a single cameras flash.

Nate was on the curb by the cab, ready to help me make a fast escape. “Nate, please, let’s just go. Now!” I could feel the last part of my reserve crumbling. Still crying; I rushed into the sanctity of the cab.

“Don’t tell him where we’re staying. I just want to go home.” I could see Nathan blocking Cade from coming in. He was trying to talk to him.

“Just give her some time, man. I’m sure she’ll come around.”

“Nathan! For fuck’s sake! Let me talk to her! She’s got the wrong idea!”

“Oh, you mean, like you had the wrong idea about her and David?” He paused, and shook his head. “Look, man, you know that I really like you, but Brook is my first concern right now. Just let me get her taken care of and then I’ll see what I can do, okay?”

Cade’s shoulders hunched in defeat, and he ran his hand through his hair, attempting to glance past Nathan into the back of the cab. I turned from him to huddle in the corner. The sobs were gone, but the tears were still leaking from my eyes. I put both hands over my face, and bent over my lap as I cried.

“Please arrange for us to talk before you leave London. You know I had reason to believe those bloody photos!”

I could see their reflection in the window as they talked; Nate’s back to me, but Cade facing the cab. He grabbed my brother’s shoulder desperately. “Jesus, Nate, you have to know what she means to me.” His voice was soft, defeated, his eyes tortured.

“Yeah.” Nate nodded and then looked in at me, then turned back at Cade.

“Look, I’ll do my best to get her to listen to you, dude,” Nate said as he shook his head in disbelief. “You guys. You’re something else. I’ve never seen anything like it. You’re so fucking lucky, if you’d both get your heads on straight.” Nate hugged Cade goodbye, and then got in the cab with me. “Take care, man.”

My brother said nothing as we headed back to the hotel. I stared out the window. Numb and empty.

What was I thinking in coming all of this way? And, for what? If he could forget he loved me that quickly, then screw it. It wasn’t worth it. I took a deep, shaky breath and Nate took my hand.

“Maybe you should talk to him. He seemed sincere, Brook. Put yourself in his place.”

“Whose side are you on anyway?” I frowned at him but realized I had no right to snap at my brother. He’d come all of this way just to help me. “I’m sorry. Let’s not talk about Cade anymore. I just need to sleep, and then I want to get the hell out of here.” My hand was holding Cade’s bracelet around my wrist. I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to take it off. At least not yet.

Back at the hotel, we had separate rooms; my brother’s directly next to mine. “Nate, I’m going to bed. See you in the morning, okay?” I felt lost, and a deep sadness settled all around me. All I wanted was to fall into a dreamless sleep.

“Okay. Call if you want to talk.” He hesitated at the door. “Think about calling Cade, Brooklyn.” He smiled at me weakly. “He loves you.”

My head fell back, as I bit my lip, tears burning my eyes, again.

“Then why does it hurt so much? I can’t even fucking breathe, Nate.” My voice trembled as I spoke.

I put a hand over my eyes as I felt the dreaded tears start again.

He hugged me close. “Just call him. Then you’ll be able to breathe, I promise.” He touched my chin lovingly.

“I can’t. I’m not strong enough. I feel completely humiliated. I came here to tell him how much I love him, and he was out with women pawing all over him. That was way worse than those set up photos of me, and David. And, what hurts the most is that he didn’t want to hear what I had to say. We’ve always been able to talk about everything… and, he wouldn’t talk to me.”

I walked to the dresser to balance on it while I took off my heels. “I’m just going to take a bath and go to bed. I need to be alone for a while, okay? I’ll be fine in the morning.”

You fucking liar. I screamed internally. You’ll never be fine again.

“Consider this, sis… now you’re the one who won’t talk,” he said as he hugged me again. “Goodnight. Love you.”

“Love you too, Nate, and thanks for being my brother.” I tried to smile at him.

After he left, I sat on the end of the bed for what seemed like hours, my eyes staring straight at nothing, my surroundings only a colorful blur. Finally, I stood and removed my jacket, then went into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror. My eyes were red rimmed and swollen, my hair messed up from running my hands through it, and I had nasty mascara tracks down my cheeks.
Nice
, I thought.

I was about to start the water in the tub, when there was a knock on the door.

“Nate,” I said as I opened the door, “I really need…”

Only, it wasn’t Nathan standing in the hallway, it was Cade. He looked as shitty as I felt.

I stared at him in shock for a second before I found my words. “It looks like my brother is a traitor,” I said as I ran a hand through my hair again.

Chapter 7

Never Stop

“Brook, we need to talk.” Cade looked miserable.

My brow furrowed. “Now you want to talk? Just go away. I can’t do this right now. The time for talking is over.” I tried to shut the door in his face.

Cade’s arm held the door open, as he pushed his way into the room. His arms went around me so fast I didn’t know what hit me; then the sound of the door banged as it closed heavily behind him. He lifted me off the ground, and I lost my breath, as my feet dangled off of the floor. Cade wound his arms around my back, and used one hand to hold the back of my head.

He buried his face in my hair as he spoke. “I’m so sorry, Brook. Please, please talk to me. I love you so much. If you really are mine, I can’t lose you,” he said. His lips were moving on my neck, jaw, eyes, cheeks, and finally found my mouth.

His lips hovered above mine. “I was a bloody fool. Will you forgive me?” He brushed my hair away from my face, and looked in my eyes.

Tears filled my eyes; still frozen, unmoving. My emotions were conflicted between wanting to melt into his arms, and pushing him away. I wanted so much to believe his words. I closed my eyes because every breath was tortured.

“If you don’t trust me, how can you say you love me?” The words ripped out of my throat. I bent my head and rested my forehead on his shoulder, tears falling from my eyes. I could feel the sobs begin to rack my body, so deep no sound could escape, my shoulders shaking in violent silence.

“I came here to tell you that I loved you…” I gasped out the words, when finally I had to draw a breath. “I knew the pictures would hurt you, and I couldn’t b-bear to let you believe that I w-wanted someone else…” I was gasping for air. His arms tightened around me, and he let out his breath. “And, to find you k-kissing another woman…” My voice broke; cutting off my words, and my cries filled the room around us.

“Brook, you have to listen to me.” One hand came up to brush my tear-dampened hair off of my face. “I couldn’t bear the thought of you with David, not after our goodbye. I love you so much, my heart is breaking with it… it physically hurts, and it’s stunned me. The pain I felt these past months on set, seeing you with him when he visited, and yet, denying my feelings…” His strong arms were still holding me tight. “It fucked up my judgment. It was killing me.” He kissed my neck, pausing a moment, to stroke the back of my head with his hand.

“Try to understand. I couldn’t bear to think of him touching you like that again. I want you to be all mine, only mine, forever.” The anguish in Cade’s voice; that beautiful voice, couldn’t be denied as he held me tightly against to his body.

I sniffed, hiding my face in the hollow between his shoulder and neck, finally able to get a bit of control over the crying. “How could you let that woman kiss you? I wanted to r-run to you and throw my arms around you, b-but then I saw you with her, and something died inside. You don’t know w-what that did to me.” I was still shaking with hiccupping sobs.

“Yes, I do, Brook.” He stopped for a moment, and then took a deep breath. “That’s how I know you love me. That’s
exactly
how I felt each and every time I had to see you with David. I felt like the wind was knocked right out of me when I saw those pictures. I should have let you explain, but I’d just started to hope after that last morning in Vancouver. After seeing those pictures, I was afraid you’d tell me you’d changed your mind. I didn’t want to hear that voice I love, telling me you didn’t want me.” He kissed the side of my face, and my temple. Still he held me off the floor, his arms not even allowing an inch of space between us.

“How could you think for one second that I didn’t want you?” I asked softly. “The whole world wants you. I tried to tell you how I felt!”

Cade brought his mouth close to mine, and this time as he moved to my mouth, he took it for all he was worth.

I kissed him back like I was starving for him. My arms slid up his chest, and around his neck, into his hair of their own volition. I pulled him closer still, and we were wild with each other. His hands on both sides of my face slanted my head so he could take my mouth in deeper and deeper kisses.

Finally, he placed another soft kiss on my mouth, catching my top lip between both of his, he gently tugged on it, reluctant to separate. “Love, I’m so sorry. I’ve been a bloody idiot.” His hot breath mingled with mine, his warm scent was so delicious, I felt faint.

I pulled back to look into his eyes. I didn’t want there to be any question about the sincerity of my words. My voice was thick with emotion, and tears clung to my lashes. “I didn’t mean to fall in love with you… but you’ve wrecked me. Completely,” I whispered.

A happy smile slid across his gorgeous mouth, his brilliant teeth flashing as he placed a hand on the side of my face. “Oh, Brook, I’ve dreamt of hearing those words, since the moment we met. I’ve loved you all this time.” His blue eyes melted into mine. He could stare right into my soul, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I couldn’t fathom how I could deserve him, but I was flying and giddy, my heart racing.

“I should have told you before, but I wanted to make sure it wasn’t just residual feelings from Ryan and Julia. I wanted it to be real; to be us. The night before we said goodbye, after the party, I prayed that you would love me as me, and not Julia. I missed you so much I ached with it, and we weren’t even apart yet,” I said between kisses.

“My God,” he breathed. “I love you more than my life.” I gasped at the gravity of Cade’s words and the emotion in his expression, my fingers tracing lightly over his jaw and the side of his face. We held each other and kissed for a long time. He lifted his head and rubbed my back. “Are you okay, baby? I still can’t believe you’re in London, in my arms like this.” He walked to the bed, sat down and pulled me onto his lap. “It’s paradise,” he whispered against my temple.

“I’m perfect now.” I snuggled in and laid my head on his broad shoulder, my hand resting on his chest right over his heart. I could feel his muscle definition underneath my fingers, and I longed to explore his body further.

His beautiful eyes looked down at me in wonder. “Brook,” he took a deep breath, “how did this happen? How are these feelings even possible?” He brought his mouth to mine for another kiss and his sweet breath fanned out over my face.

“You tell me. You’re the one with all the experience.”

“I don’t have experience with this. I can’t believe anyone has ever loved someone this much before.” He looked at me for a long moment, my mind flashing to a moment in the script when Ryan said the same words to Julia. “It’s just—” he let out a little breath with a little shrug.

My hand came up to stroke his hair. “Overwhelming?” I finished it for him and Cade nodded. “It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who feels that way. You can twist my heart in knots and wring me inside out. There are no words.”

A gentle smile tugged at his full mouth, then, he kissed my forehead. Cade continued to knead my back as my head nestled on his shoulder. We sat like that, holding each other for a while, each of us soaking up the other, and basking in the glow of the love we felt. I felt so safe. I never wanted to move.

“Were you going to run a bath? You must be tired. How long since you slept?” he asked.

I considered the time since I boarded the plane in L.A.. “Um, I guess about thirty hours, but it doesn’t matter now. I don’t want to sleep now that you’re here with me.” My hand rose to his face and he covered it with his.

“I don’t have to go anywhere, love.” He kissed the inside of my wrist, and I wondered if he could feel my pulse racing beneath his lips. “Why don’t you let me run your bath, then I’ll tuck you in, if you want.” A devilish smile split his face.

I raised my eyebrow at him and bit my lip. Cade laughed. “Hmmm… sounds like heaven,” I said softly.

“Okay, I’ll be back.” He lifted me as he stood up, laid me back down on the bed and touched my chin softly before he turned and went into the bathroom. The rush of the water started in the tub.

I got up from the bed and found a hair clip in my bag. There were also some candles I’d brought from home in case we’d get the chance to spend the night together. Turns out it wasn’t just wishful thinking. My breath caught as I took two of them out of my case, then twisted my hair up, securing it on top with the clip.

I was nervous, even though I’d dreamt of this moment over and over for so long. Months, if I was honest with myself. We spent many nights together during the shoot, running lines, watching movies, falling asleep together, even cuddling sometimes, but now we’d admitted we loved each other. That was huge. It was the biggest moment of my life. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach at the thought of finally being able to consummate that love.

I put a couple of candles around, lit them, and turned out the bedside light that was on. The room was bathed in a soft golden glow with shadows falling all around, the vanilla scent wafting into the air.

The door to the bathroom opened, and Cade walked up behind me, his hands coming up to rest on my shoulders. “Wow, this is perfect,” he said. “Brook, you’re really tired. I just want to take care of you, get you into your bath and I’ll be happy to hold you all night.” He brushed a soft kiss on my neck, and his hot breath made my skin tingle. “Just holding you is enough.”

He was telling me he didn’t expect us to make love, always the gentleman. I smiled to myself, turned, and raised my eyes to his. He was so flipping perfect.

“What if I don’t want sleep?” I asked softly. I watched him take off his jacket, leaving only his black shirt between my fingers, and the smooth, hard muscles of his chest.

“That’s okay, too. I’m yours; anything you want.” He put his hands on my shoulders again, and ran them down the length of my arms to my hands. He pulled one up and kissed the inside of my wrist, his eyes never breaking connection from mine.

His words held deeper meaning to me. I reached up to touch his handsome face.

“I want you. Forever,” I whispered. I reached my hand up to the back of his head, drawing his head down to kiss him, but his lips hovered over mine.

His hand lifted, and he brushed his knuckles against the side of my face.

“Forever,” he reiterated, and I nodded. “That may not be long enough,” his other hand slipped behind my waist, and he began kissing hotly down the column of my neck. It felt beyond delicious, shooting a series of shudders to rack through me. I closed my eyes at his words, and the feel of his mouth on my skin. My hands explored down his chest reaching inside between the buttons. It was euphoric, something of dreams. Cade was a huge movie star, and while that mattered when I first met him, now, while he was still sexy as hell, all of that star stuff wasn’t who he was.

He trembled at my touch, then struggled with something he was trying to say. I just looked up at him and waited, knowing love had to be pouring out of my eyes.

“Brook. Can I just… look at you?” he asked, as he ran a hand through his gorgeous mane. “I mean, I’ve been dreaming of you for months, and I just…” his words fell off as he lifted his eyes to meet mine and there was a faint blush to his cheeks. “I want to look at you, finally.” He seemed slightly shy at asking, but I found it extremely sexy and endearing at the same time.

A small, secret smile came to my lips at his embarrassment. He was the last person I’d ever expect this reaction from.

“Cade,” I breathed, and lifted on my tiptoes to finally place a soft kiss on first his mouth, and then his neck, sucking just a little with each one. He shivered at the touch of my tongue on his skin. “Take off my clothes,” I begged.

He sucked in his breath, and then his mouth was on mine, slowly exploring, but full of passion as he unzipped my dress, and slid it down my body. The touch of his hands as they roamed over my back then followed the dress down, was so soft and sensual it set every inch of my skin on fire. I trembled in his arms. My mouth broke from the kiss as I stepped back a little.

My black bustier, bikini panties and thigh-high stockings still on, I stepped out of the dress. His eyes were hot on my body, roaming slowly over every swell and curve. I could see the love, and lust, burning there. He was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

“Bloody hell, you are so damn beautiful, Brook. I’m completely fucking helpless.” He bent, kissing first my shoulder, then the curve of my neck. His mouth was fiery hot, yet it sent waves of goose bumps rippling over my exposed skin. It felt so exquisite, sensual and very loving. Cade made my insides melt and heat pool between my legs.

“Oh, my God, Cade,” I moaned. I was dying inside. I’d imagined this moment for so long. His hand tentatively slid along the top of my breasts above the lingerie, his fingers hovering and reverent; as if when he touched me I would disappear before his eyes. My head fell back and I gasped, but held his eyes with my own. I felt so good. All of my senses were soaring.