Family Farm (30 page)

Her foot was on the pedal hard as she sped down the driveway, through the gum trees, and finally past the Gumlea sign. Izzy felt as though she was leaving some part of her heart behind, and that she wouldn’t be whole again. Mud flicked off the wheels and hit the mud flaps as the ute slid over the slimy road. As she pulled out of the driveway for the final time, her mind flashed to Will. She pictured him asleep on his belly with his hair hanging over his face and the doona cover skewed at his waist exposing his taut brown back. Should she call and tell him? Would he even care? Perhaps, after everything that had happened between them, it was too soon. He didn’t need to be burdened with this. He was probably still asleep anyway, the lucky bastard. She needed to talk to someone else. Automatically she turned towards her passenger seat, which was cold and empty. Tears streamed down her face. She realised she was facing this new journey on her own – without Tom, without her family, without Will, and without a clue where she was headed.

WILL felt like he had springs on his feet as he headed towards the Simpson house. He’d held off for a whole day before visiting Izzy. All the excitement of the day before – the ordeal at the gully, as well as his incredible afternoon with Izzy – had left him with a lot to think about. He’d woken up late that night, and after fixing himself a quick sandwich had gone straight back to bed, really wiped out. It had been strange waking and instantly feeling for Izzy, but the bed had been long cold. He could still picture her lying on her side, his cover pulled up under her arms and her hair framing her face. He realised she’d gone home, but that hadn’t worried him. He knew where to find her. He just didn’t want to seem too eager.

Opening the flywire door, he called out, ‘
Hellooo
.’ Jean’s voice beckoned him in.

‘Oh, Will. We were going to call you,’ she said, somewhat anxiously.

‘Why? What’s up?’ Maybe he was going to get the third degree for keeping their daughter out for most of yesterday. He wondered if Izzy had said anything to Jean. Did she know already? Would she be happy?

‘Have you heard from Izzy?’ Jean asked.

‘What?’ He must have looked as confused as he felt.

‘Izzy and Bill had a huge fight yesterday and now she’s gone. I’ve tried everyone I can think of and I tried you a few times but you didn’t answer. Brian hadn’t seen you either.’

‘Oh, I was probably out getting the ute. But she’ll be back … won’t she?’ he said optimistically. As he floated down off his big white cloud, he began to notice the terror on Jean’s face and the teary glaze that had crept across her eyes. It was clear that Jean had been pinning her hopes on Izzy being with him. A weird panicked sensation spread through his body and his muscles tensed. His hands balled up into fists as he tried to control himself. This was bad.

‘After what happened at the gully yesterday, I assumed she’d be with you – that’s why I wasn’t worrying too much. I figured maybe she just didn’t want you to answer your phone.’ When Will shook his head, Jean continued, ‘I’m sorry Will, I’ve been so worried about Izzy, but I must ask how you’re doing? Izzy said you nearly drowned?’

‘Nearly, but not quite. I’m fine now. I was just a bit tired, that’s all.’ Will tried to hide the anxiety in his voice.

Jean nodded in an absent-minded way, only half taking it in. ‘Bill’s gone and done it this time. I’ve no idea where she’s gone and I don’t think she’ll be back any time soon. She was so angry. You have to talk to him, Will. He won’t listen to me.’ Jean’s hand shook as it went to her mouth.

Will placed his hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently, trying to give her some comfort. ‘Where is he?’ he asked.

She pointed to the dining room. ‘He’s been there all day, just staring out the window.’

Leaving her behind, he headed towards Bill, his walk broken and uneven. Anger began building up inside, filling every crevice like gas before an explosion.

He got straight to the point. ‘Bill, what did you say to Izzy?’ he said accusingly.

‘Hey, Will. How are you? I hear you saved our ram yesterday. Much appreciated, mate,’ Bill said in a kind of a daze. His face was set hard like a concrete slab, avoiding the main issue.

‘Don’t thank me. Thank your daughter. She’s the one who did most of the work. Not to mention saved my life,’ he said, putting his hand to his chest. It set off a vision of Izzy’s wet mouth working its way up to his neck. He trembled momentarily. ‘Bloody hell, Bill. What have you gone and done?’

Bill’s battered body sat slumped in his wheelchair as if nothing had happened, but he looked as if he’d aged ten years.

‘She’s even left her mobile behind,’ Jean volunteered, clutching the tiny silver mobile as if it was the last thing Izzy had touched.

Taking hold of the metal frame of Bill’s wheelchair, Will spun him around to face them, then he went off like a pyrotechnics display. ‘I never thought you’d take it this far, Bill. You’re telling me you’d rather lose another daughter than spend the rest of your life working beside her? God, you’re an idiot!’ He took a deep breath to calm himself down before continuing.

‘The way you lost Claire was just a freak accident. Nothing you could have done would’ve prevented it. We’ve talked about this before. It was her time to go. And that’s life, Bill. But Izzy, she’s got her whole life ahead of her, and she wants to share that with you. What the bloody hell’s wrong with you?’

Bill was about to speak, his eyes wide with shock, but Will jumped in again.

‘No. Just shut up and listen. You’re so hell bent on trying to keep her off the farm that you haven’t noticed how much it’s a part of her. I’ve seen it first hand. Who do you think ran this place while you were in hospital? It sure wasn’t me. You’ll never be able to take that away from Izzy.’

Bill resembled one of the open-mouthed clowns at the fair as he shook his head in disbelief.

‘And let me tell you, she’s one hell of a worker. Dad and I would have her work for us any day. Any farmer in this district would. You should be bloody proud of who she is and what she’s become.’ Will paused for a breath. ‘Don’t you see? You could have it all, but you’re pushing her away, hurting her and everyone else in the process.’ Even me, he thought, as his body ached at the emptiness she’d left. Trying to get through to the old man was hard work. Now he understood how much Izzy had endured.

‘I just couldn’t stand to go through it again.’ Bill finally spoke.

It was barely a whisper, but Will heard him. Bill looked small and weak slumped in his chair. For a moment, Will even felt sorry for him. He ran his hand through his hair, hoping this was a breakthrough.

‘Well, what other options do you have? What if something happens to her on someone else’s farm and then she’s gone for good? I don’t know about you, but I’d never forgive myself. I’d rather spend every moment possible with her while I could. If you would just open your eyes, you’d see how remarkable she is. Claire’s gone – but you still have one incredible, smart and beautiful daughter.’ Will stopped, Izzy’s image plainly visible in his mind. ‘You don’t know what you’re missing out on,’ he finished passionately.

‘My God, Will. You’re in love with her.’ Jean shocked herself with her own words. Quickly she clamped her hand over her mouth and blushed at her indiscretion.

Two pairs of eyes watched Will carefully, waiting for his reaction.

He stared out through the sliding door and felt a wave wash over him. It was as if it had cleaned away the sand in his mind and left something clearly visible. Silently, he laughed at himself as the realisation dawned. ‘Maybe I am,’ he replied quietly. Saying it out loud made him feel like he’d finally grown up.

All three stood quietly absorbing this new information.

Will realised he had to tell Izzy, but not knowing where she was hurt like hell.

Bill just sat there wearing a grin from ear to ear.

‘What’s so funny?’ Will asked, anger still rippling inside him.

‘You know, I always hoped that you’d marry one of my girls, but I never thought of my little Izzy. Will, you’re the closest thing I have to a son. Nothing would make me happier than to see you two together.’

Will rolled his eyes. ‘Yeah, well, we still have to find her. And let’s get one thing straight,’ he said, pointing to Bill. ‘If Izzy will have me, she can do as much farming as she wants. It’s who she is, and I don’t want her to change for anyone.’

Bill nodded vigorously. A sparkle had returned to his eyes. The old man suddenly looked alive again.

‘You might be right, Will. I know I’ve shut myself off from Izzy.’ He thought for a moment. ‘I guess in the process I’ve missed out on seeing my girl grow up.’

‘Let’s just hope it’s not too late,’ Jean said. ‘Hopefully she’ll be back after she’s calmed down a bit. Till then, all we can do is wait.’

‘WHICH way now?’ Izzy said to herself. Closing her eyes, she felt the rumble of the ute pulse through her body as she waited for a sign. ‘Come on, Claire. Help me out.’

Her hand fell off the steering wheel in her relaxed state and accidentally hit the indicator lever. When she opened her eyes, the right arrow flicked wildly as if saying ‘pick me, pick me’. She didn’t know if that was a sign or not, but it was as good an indication as any. ‘I guess it’s north, then,’ she said aloud and laughed. People would think her strange if they could see her talking to herself, but she’d always talked to Tom. He’d bark back every so often just to let her know he was listening. A part of her liked to think he was still listening.

The landscape before her was wide open with stubble paddocks that met the sky, and the odd mallee tree and lots of dead weeds lining the road. Turning right, she left the road that she’d always thought of as the road home. She couldn’t bear to look back. Who knew if she would ever return? The thought filled her guts with a sickness mixed with great sadness. Would she ever be happy? No beloved farm, no happy family, and especially no Will. For a short moment there, she’d dared to dream of the perfect life, but who was she trying to kid? This wasn’t a fairytale. The farm would never be handed to her on a silver plate. It would’ve been bloody nice, though.

No, it was her life, and it was up to her to go and grab her own happy ending. It would take time, but she was sure there’d be another bit of land somewhere to keep her happy. And as for Will, well, there were always plenty more snags on the barbie – or that’s what she tried to tell herself. It was up to Izzy now to turn her life around. Never say die – that’s what Claire had always said. Never say die.

Throwing open the country road map on the seat beside her, she tried to figure out how far north to go. She’d slept her first night just out of town at the local tourist spot called Buckley’s Breakaway. Jean used to take them to play when they were kids and they would often have their birthday parties there. It was a special place where erosion had formed spectacular white cliffs. Izzy had sat at the top among the cypress pine, blue mallet and box poison bushes, her legs hanging over the ledge, looking down into the white gullies completely lost in thought. She’d replayed the fight over and over again, remembered the anger in her dad’s face, and dreamed of a different outcome. She’d decided to keep driving through the towns asking for work until she found something. Let fate run its course. But she wouldn’t stop until she was far enough from home. She didn’t need her dad ruining her chances of finding work. Then, last of all, when she was finally snuggled up under the canvas of her swag, she thought of Will. His vivid blue eyes and the way his whole face radiated when he smiled. She couldn’t imagine a better man, one more caring but also so much fun to be around. Well, she couldn’t be around him any more so she’d just have to get used to it. She wasn’t sure how, but with the distance between them, it was going to make it a damn sight easier. She knew she should try to forget him – he’d probably forgotten about her – but she decided to allow herself one last night to dream of him and the feel of his strong arms around her.

The following day she turned up the volume on the Triple J CD, pulled down the sun visor, and settled back into some long-distance driving. Only this time she felt very alone.

She drove over two hours until she got to Merredin and then spent another two hours asking around for work. After no luck, she headed further north into the heat towards Morawa. She stopped at Dowerin for the night and staked out the pub, thinking she’d ask the locals if anyone needed a farmhand. Izzy sat at the end of the long bar with her beer and saw a tall bloke wearing boots, jeans and a checked shirt approaching. She noticed his hands were stained and rough. He looked like the right sort to ask.

‘G’day, mate. You a local farmer, by any chance?’ she asked as he pulled out a stool.

‘Yep. Name’s Paul. Haven’t seen you around these parts before.’ Paul held out his hand and Izzy shook it.

‘I’m actually looking for work. Don’t know anyone chasing a farmhand, do you?’

She felt Paul’s brown eyes give her the once-over as he scratched his stubbly chin and thought. ‘I can’t say I’ve heard of anyone needing a worker. But I’ll go ask around for you.’ Izzy watched as he headed over to another bloke and slapped him on the shoulder. They exchanged words, and even asked a few others standing by, before Paul returned. He shook his head, ‘Sorry, mate. Not a job anywhere at the moment.’