Family Farm (17 page)

Relief swept over her and she relaxed a little. At least she wouldn’t have to try to hide the horrified expression she knew her face would wear if she saw his burns again. He actually looked quite well, all things considered. He was talking to Jean and laughing about something. This cheered Izzy up no end. With renewed enthusiasm she knocked on the door and pushed it open.

‘Hiya, Dad. How are you?’ she said, entering the room.

‘Isabelle, darling. I’m fine. What a surprise. Why didn’t you tell us you were coming?’

Leaning over his bed, she planted a kiss on his cheek before turning around to give her mum one too, and a warm tight hug. ‘Hi, Mum. So how’s he really doing?’ she said, glancing back at her dad with a warm grin.

‘Oh, you know your father. He’s as tough as a Mallee bull and as stubborn as they come. He’s started harassing the staff, so he must be doing okay.’ Jean looked tenderly towards her husband of twenty-eight years and shrugged. She appeared relaxed, sitting on a simple beige chair and wearing a pink polo shirt and jeans, her legs crossed at the ankles.

Dragging another uncomfortable-looking chair up to the bedside, Izzy placed the papers and magazines on the bed before sitting down.

‘Got you some papers, Dad. The last couple of
Elders
are there, and a few issues of
Countryman
for you to catch up on.’

After glancing at the dressings on his burns, Izzy gazed at her dad’s tanned but slightly pale face. He blinked slowly, knowing she’d assessed him, and waited for her questions.

‘Does it still hurt, Dad?’ she asked. ‘Are you in much pain? I s’pose you wouldn’t tell me if you were, would you? Will you be able to walk again and work the farm?’ Izzy shifted in her chair. Her backside was still a bit numb from sitting in the car for over three and a half hours.

‘Wow, so many questions. Well, love, it’s no walk in the park, that’s for sure. But the doc reckons I’m coming along well.’ His face lit up at the prospect of getting away from the four walls of the hospital and back to the fresh open spaces of his farm. ‘And I’ll be back on the farm before you know it. This is just a small setback. A few months, maybe more, and I’ll be getting back to normal. I just won’t look so flash in a pair of shorts. They said I could be home in five weeks, which is really good.’

Jean smiled as she said, ‘They’ll be happy to see you go, Bill. I’m sure he’s been chatting up the nurses when I’m not here, haven’t you?’

‘Oh, Dad, that’s terrible. You’ll have them running in the opposite direction.’ Izzy screwed her face up at the thought, and a picture of an old Cecil ram flashed through her mind.

‘Have you seen much of Will, sweetheart?’ he asked Izzy. ‘He probably told you I asked him to take charge of the farm. He’s a good lad. Said he’d do it without any hesitation. I suppose it’s all going well, as I haven’t heard from him in a while.’

Izzy found this baffling. Will had never mentioned anything about being in charge. He’d just been letting her run the farm by herself. Obviously, he hadn’t mentioned anything to Bill, otherwise her dad would have been jumping down her throat right now. Funny, she thought Will would have liked to throw his weight around and be in charge.

Carefully, she considered her reply. ‘Yes … I’ve seen him around.’

‘Did he get the harvesting finished okay? He said you’d organised Mike’s header for him to use. I really appreciate that, sweetheart.’ Bill lifted his bandaged hand a few inches off the bed and half waved it. It was as close to patting her hand as he could get.

‘I’ve organised the insurance, and the blokes came out and checked the header. They said the fire started because of bearing failure, from what they can gather,’ said Izzy.

‘Ah, you’re a good girl. Can you tell Will that he’ll need to get onto the shearers soon? Might need to start in a week or two.’

‘Already onto it,’ replied Izzy, who was trying not to feel insulted. ‘Dad, I can do most of the farm stuff myself, and it would save you having to bother Will. I really don’t mind doing it. I can handle it. I’ve done farm work before.’ Izzy pleaded her case but to no avail. She saw the instant change in his mood.

‘You know my thoughts on this, Izzy. How many times do I have to spell it out? I’m not going to change my mind – in a hospital bed or out. I don’t mind you making a few phone calls, but you’re to have nothing to do with the farm work, okay? Just leave it in Will’s capable hands.’

Izzy almost pouted as she sighed deeply. Silence descended on the hospital room like a fog. Izzy felt like she was balancing on a power-line as she struggled to control the rage inside. Her dad couldn’t even thank her or appreciate what she’d done so far. He didn’t know the half of it. Maybe she should tell him she was the one who’d finished the harvesting. He probably wouldn’t believe her, anyway. It’d just make his situation worse – and hers. She envied Will. He was to inherit his father’s farm, no questions asked, and Izzy had to fight like a stray cat to get even an inch. What was she to do? She knew what she wanted – to work the farm – but she didn’t know how to go about getting it. Did she confront her father? She couldn’t upset him in his current state, so maybe she’d just wait till he was better, then try it.

Anxious to break the silence, Jean asked after the neighbours and Izzy filled her in on how they were all looking after her. But Izzy was distracted by her thoughts and still a little angry with her dad. The idea that he’d tried to control her life even more by keeping Claire’s pregnancy from her festered within her.

Gearing herself up, she sat up straight and fiddled with the hem on her top, nervous about how to start. ‘Can I ask you guys a question, and I want the truth?’

Both her parents went quiet, unsure of what was coming, and then they nodded and gave their assurance.

Here goes, she thought. ‘D-did you know Claire got p-pregnant?’ she stammered.

Both faces hardly changed. There were no sudden looks of shock or gasps of surprise. Right there and then she knew that this was not news to them.

Standing up defiantly, she didn’t wait for the answer she knew was coming. She started pacing the tiny room. ‘How could you not tell me, even after all these years?’ she said, throwing her hands on her hips, her voice slightly elevated.

It was Jean who spoke. ‘There seemed no point. We only knew ourselves for a few months, and then when she and the baby died, it didn’t seem worth worrying you with it.’

‘But, Mum!’ Izzy spluttered as she started getting worked up. ‘I am a part of this family too, aren’t I? I had a right to know. She was my sister.’ She continued to pace. ‘I feel so left out.’ Her voice was quieter now, broken.

‘We’re truly sorry, Izzy. We never meant to hurt you. We were just trying to save you from more pain. We thought losing your sister was bad enough. Can’t you see that?’ Jean said tenderly.

‘Is there anything else you’ve kept from me that I should know about?’ she replied, barely able to keep the anger and hurt out of her voice.

‘No,’ her parents chorused, then Jean continued. ‘I assure you, Izzy, we only had your best intentions at heart.’

‘I know. I can see that now, but it still doesn’t make me feel any better,’ she said, almost deflated as the sting began to leave. ‘How pregnant was she before she died?’

Jean answered again. ‘She was sixteen weeks. We were trying to keep it very quiet. You were away at boarding school and we were going to wait until you came home at the end of term to tell you. Claire thought she felt the baby move the day before her accident.’ Jean paused, then laughed softly. ‘You should have seen your father when we told him. She told me first and when I got over the shock we told Bill together. Stunned is an understatement.’

‘Yeah, give a bloke a moment to gather his thoughts. When I’d calmed down, I was quite excited.’ The warmth in his voice was unmistakeable.

‘Except you wanted Will to marry Claire before the baby was born,’ Jean added. Izzy’s eyes widened and Jean continued. ‘But Claire didn’t want that. They weren’t prepared to marry, and in this day and age I guess it’s no big deal. How did you find out about the baby? From Will?’ her mum asked, already knowing the answer.

‘Yeah. We had a bit of a barney and he let it slip,’ answered Izzy.

‘I hope you weren’t too harsh on him, Isabelle,’ her dad cut in, all concerned. ‘He’s been through a lot. You’ve gotta understand how he felt. He lost his best mate and his unborn child in one afternoon.’ He spoke slowly, hoping she would understand. ‘He has lost as much as we have.’

Izzy stopped mid-step, slapped her forehead, and groaned. ‘Oh, no!’

‘What?’ they replied in unison.

Slowly she ran her hand down her face, as if trying to wipe the horrible memory from her mind. ‘I just remembered. I gave Will a mouthful at Ray’s clearing sale,’ she said, shaking her head again. ‘Oh, and they were some choice words too! Shit, now I feel terrible. Why didn’t he tell me then? And what must he have thought of my form?’

‘So, that’s what went down,’ said her father, now understanding. ‘Will wanted to tell you at the barbecue – he hated lying to you – but I made him promise not to. I’m sorry, love. He was right all along. We should have had this out after Claire’s funeral.’ Bill sighed heavily, realising the enormity of his mistake.

‘Yeah, well, I second that. Poor Claire,’ Izzy said, finally flopping back down in her chair.

Bill cleared his throat and broke the silence. ‘You know, Will was looking forward to being a father – once he’d got over the initial shock, of course. But he really has a loving soul, a quality he gets from Sandy, and he was opening up to the idea of a little tacker running around. We talked about it often after Claire died. You know, he’s the closest thing to a son that I have, Izzy, and he’s come a bloody long way in the last few years. I want you to take it easy on him, okay?’

Bill’s comments cut deep. So he wanted Izzy to see Will the way he saw him, yet why the hell couldn’t he see her for who she really was!

‘But you guys let me believe he’d used Claire, and I absolutely hated him for it. I blamed him for everything and now … well, it’s going to be bizarre. I’ve been just horrible to him ever since I got back.’

‘He knows it’s not your fault, Izzy. It will be all right. He doesn’t blame you.’ Jean stood up, walked over to Izzy and pulled her up into a tight hug. They stood there, embracing for a long time before Jean eventually whispered into her ear, ‘I miss Claire too.’

IZZY decided to head home the following day after another visit to the hospital. She’d stayed in a hotel room overnight – she didn’t want to put out Aunty Sarah, given her trip had been at such short notice. She was glad to have some time to herself – the peace and quiet was just what she’d needed after the revelations of the last few days.

She got up early, hoping to fit in some shopping after seeing her dad. She needed some more work shorts and another dose of worm treatment for Tom, as well as a big bag of dog treats. When that was done, she did the mandatory KFC stop for lunch on her way out of Perth, then powered home to let Tom out of his yard.

The monotonous driving gave her time to look back on her behaviour towards Will. Her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment at the thought of how cruelly she’d treated him, especially realising it was all unwarranted. She’d used him to vent her anger over Claire’s death. He’d been an easy target, and now she sure had some explaining to do. As if things weren’t difficult enough between them. She resolved to put their kiss behind her – she couldn’t figure out what to make of it and it just complicated matters. Of course, she was attracted to Will – you’d have to be blind not to get all steamed up looking at him – but she still didn’t want to be with him. It was just her girlie hormones gone mad. But she liked the idea of being his friend.

Arriving home late afternoon, she decided she’d better get it over and done with and head straight over to Will’s place to apologise. Tom barked excitedly, running around in circles as he eagerly awaited her appearance. Izzy stretched out her arms and gave the order: ‘Up, Tom.’ His large tan paws launched himself up to her chest and into her open arms. A quick cuddle, some running around with a ball and a doggie treat soon saw him contented. If only all relationships were so easy.

Before jumping in her ute, Izzy grabbed the shirt that Will had lent her to wear the other night. It would provide a good excuse for her visit. It was only a two-minute drive along their track around the back paddocks and past the reserve. There was only one fence to open, which separated their farms, then around another paddock to their house. Tom was still excitedly attached to her hip and drooling happily next to her in the ute.

Will’s place was an old farmhouse that had been on their land for years. It used to be where his grandparents lived before they built the new house closer to the mail road. The house sat in the corner of a paddock surrounded by scrub bush and tall old mallee trees. When they were kids, they’d used it as their playground and gone through the old clothes and toys left there. They’d pretend to cook and play house. That was when Will and Claire would let her come, mind you. She was ten when they finally let Izzy camp there with them for the night, safe in the hands of the thirteen- and fourteen-year-olds. They would try to scare her with stories by the fire in the old brick fireplace. Smiling, she remembered when they’d nearly burnt the place down. The fire had blown out of control after it caught on a nearby curtain. Luckily, they’d managed to pelt it out with the shirts off their backs. They made her promise not to tell anyone, but the evidence was a bit hard to hide – returning home smelling of smoke, plus the fact that their shirts were singed and sooty didn’t help. Especially as Will’s had nearly burnt completely. She could laugh about it now, but back then they’d got into a lot of trouble and had been banned from sleepovers at the old place.

In the afternoon glow, the house looked much the same as she remembered it. Pulling up out the front, not far from its wide verandahs, she noticed that the tin roof was new. Izzy tried to recall the last time she visited. She would have been fourteen and she and Claire had gone there with Will to reminisce about the old days.