Falling For Sakura (Falling For Sakura Trilogy, #1) (13 page)

She blushed and said, “You’re squishing me.”

Darcy didn’t move, just stayed on top of her and gazed down at her. His heart was beating so fast that his chest was aching—aching with familiar angst and familiar delight because she was in his arms. She smelled beautiful too, of lavender, and it caused his senses to float with wonder.

She was warm and soft under him, begging him to do more
than just lie still on top of her. He wanted to kiss her, like he’d always wanted to kiss her and take her into his arms when they were children, even after he’d started to believe the lies Alaina and Tara told him about her. Even after that awful incident at the tree house when he thought Sakura had wanted to kill Alaina and he hated her so much and treated her so badly, he had still wanted her. He hated himself for that. Hated himself for falling in love with the girl who’d wanted to kill his twin sister.

“Why aren’t you getting up?” she asked. “I’m going to be a pancake soon if you don’t move.”

He couldn’t help himself and smiled at her. Yes, it was both painful and pleasurable to be with her. The feelings that had tormented him a long time ago were now returning with a vengeance.

Darcy’s smile was so beautiful that Sakura’s heart skipped three times and then began to race hard
. She blinked and licked her lips, wondering why he was smiling at her. She knew he still had a grudge against her since that awful incident years ago at the tree house. That was why he’d never talked to her again and had treated her so coldly. She’d never blamed him for that, of course, knowing very well that he was just being very protective of his sister.

“Y
our arms,” he said logically, not at all displeased that her soft arms were wrapping around him like a lover’s.

Sakura widened h
er eyes in shock when she realized she was hugging him tight. She hastily removed her arms and looked away, her cheeks even redder now.

Darcy didn’t want to move. In fact, he liked being in that position on top of her. He could feel her soft body beneath his, and it was making his being respond with desire. Her face, fresh and beautiful, was only
inches from his, and he knew he could kiss her if wanted to. But he knew he couldn’t.
Wouldn’t.
Because it was wrong.
Very wrong.

Slowly—
reluctantly
—he moved back.

Sakura breathed in relief, and before she could bring herself to stand
up properly, she felt Darcy’s arm around the small of her waist, pulling her to him. Their bodies were so close to each other that they might fuse as they stood up together.

Standing there with Sakura in his arms, Darcy was hurting himself. He knew he was leading himself
down a dangerous path that he shouldn’t take, but it was just too damn tempting. He wanted to kiss her.
No!
He not only wanted to kiss her, but he wanted her to forgive him for doubting her innocence. He wanted her to forgive him of his horrible treatment toward her when they’d been children. He wanted her and her forgiveness so bad that it hurt inside.

“Darcy, what are you doing?” Conrad asked from the distance.

Sakura hastily moved away from Darcy, blushing profusely.

Darcy gritted his teeth and shut his eyes for a moment to regain control of his emotions. Yes, he needed to appear cool and in control in front of his brothers. He d
idn’t want to show his brothers just how fragile he was emotionally, especially where this young woman was concerned. After all, he’d never shown his brothers anything other than the cool, collected, and arrogant Darcy who didn’t give a shit what everyone else thought of him.

Once he
’d gained control of himself, he turned calmly to Conrad and Nicolas, who were watching him, waiting for his answers.

“She fell,” he said.
Then before they could ask him any more questions, which he knew they wouldn’t anyway, he reluctantly removed his arm from Sakura’s waist and then walked away toward the stairs.

Sakura watched Darcy go. She was relieved that he didn’t growl at her for running into him. She was also relieved that
, for the first time, he had smiled at her. Perhaps, just perhaps, he’d forgiven her.

“You fell again?” Conrad asked Sakura. “You should be careful.”

“I’m a bit clumsy today,” she said. “I think we should go to dinner.” With that, she walked past them toward the stairs as well, Toby trotting after her happily.

“Wait for me.
” Conrad chuckled, rushing after her.

Nicolas cocked his head to one side as he watched them go. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, his eyes narrowed. “Darcy,” he said. “You’re letting
down your guard, brother.”

R
emembrance of the Past

James
was pleased that Sakura had decided to join them for dinner this evening. He gazed at her across the dining table, noting she wasn’t nervous or uncomfortable with the brothers surrounding her as she had been this morning. Mary, who kept up a constant chatter, was sitting on her right. To her left was Conrad. The moment he’d seen Sakura sitting down, his youngest son had snaffled that particular chair before anyone had a chance to steal it from him.

Tara and Alaina, wh
o were sitting on the far end of the table, were both glaring at Sakura as though they couldn’t stand to be in the same room as her. Sakura, on the other hand, paid them no heed. She continued to enjoy her meal and now and again gave some chicken to Toby who was sitting on the floor behind her.

“The wedding is going to be beautif
ul, Mary,” Brenda said. “The cherry blossoms by the pond will be in full bloom.”

“That’s why I waited until spring to get married. Sakura kept telling
me how beautiful cherry blossoms are in spring,” Mary replied enthusiastically.

“There’s nothing special
about some stupid cherry trees,” Tara put in, stamping her knife and fork down loudly on the table.

James frowned
and said, “I disagree. I love cherry trees. They’re beautiful in full bloom, like lovely pink clouds in the air, and they smell divine.”

Sakura laughed, which turned the brothers’ heads. Tara was aware of this, and her temper flared.

“Do you really?” she asked. “I seem to remember differently.”

“Me
too,” Brenda said. “I think there was some muttering and grunting about the whole thing for weeks.”

“I think there were some
cheery trees being pulled out in the middle of the night too,” Sakura said. “I found some missing the next morning.”

James managed to blush at the reminder.

“Who planted the trees?” Nicolas couldn’t help asking.

“It was Sakura
’s idea,” Brenda blurted out. “She bought two hundred cherry trees with her own money and planted them herself.”

“With Ned’s help
,” Sakura put in. “He was such good help. It took us months. But it turned out nice.” She bent down and gave another piece of chicken to Toby.

“If I were here
, I would’ve helped you,” Conrad said. “It sounded fun.”

“This is awful,” Alaina snapped. “Why are we talking about some stupid trees? And this meal is disgusting. I can’t take
it anymore.” She clanged down her knife and fork too.

James frowned at his daughters
’ rude behavior and then looked over to Beth. He noted the disappointed look on the housekeeper’s plump face and tightened his fingers around his cutlery. He said, his tone hard and frost cold, “Alaina, that was very impolite. Have you been away from home for so long that you forgot how to show some appreciation? I expect better from you.”

“I think this meal is delicious,” Sakura said loudly so everyone could hear her. She turned her eyes to the housekeeper, who was standing not too far away. “Thank you so much for preparing this wonderful chicken for us, Beth.”

Beth nodded at her in appreciation.
That’s my Sakura,
she thought,
always there to help when anyone needs help.

“What do you think, Conrad?” Sakura asked
her adopted brother.

Conrad was quite pleased that Sakura involved him in her solo conversation and gladly said, “Yeah. This chicken is awesome. Thanks, Beth.”

“It’s soft and tender,” Darcy added. “It’s perfect.”

Beth blushed and grinned widely. “Thanks, Master Darcy. But you know I’m better with baking. Now there’s my department. Perhaps I will bake some chocolate cake tomorrow
. How does that sound?”

“
Marvelous,” Tristan said. “I love chocolate cake. And your chocolate cake is the sweetest on the island, Beth.”

The housekeeper
chuckled at his remark.

Alaina
was fuming. She’d had enough of this stupid conversation. Why the hell did they have to praise the housekeeper when it was her job to cook them proper food anyway? She stood and then stalked out of the room, her temper hot. Tara stood up as well, gave out an outrageous puff as though to tell everyone they should be ashamed of themselves, and then left the room.

James and Brenda look
ed at each other.

Up on the second floor of the mansion, Alaina slammed the door shut and dumped herself on Tara’s large, soft bed.

“You were right,” she said. “I can’t believe that bitch.”

Tara turned to look at the pretty girl she
’d been manipulating since they’d been children. “What?” she asked.

“That—that silly Sally girl,” Alaina snapped. “I can’t believe she’s back
, and now Mom and Dad love her more than ever.”

“I think the brothers are beginning to as well,” Tara said, frowning.
Please,
she thought darkly,
not Sebastian and Darcy. Not them. Don’t let them fall for her. Please don’t.

“What? No way!” Alaina said. “Not my brothers.”

“Conrad,” Tara put in. “He’s smitten with her. Or didn’t you see the look on his face?”

Alaina had noticed the look on Conrad’s face. He
’d looked like a boy in love. But he was only twenty years old and so technically not yet a fully matured man. Sakura, on the other hand, was twenty-three. Aside from the age difference, they were also siblings—even though adopted and not at all blood related, but still.

“
I want to go and stay at the hotel,” Alaina suggested eagerly. “We don’t have to be in the same house as her.”

Tara frowned. “No!” she snapped. Of
course, there was no way she’d leave this house when all the brothers, especially Sebastian and Darcy, were under the same roof as Sakura. She had to be there to prevent certain things—she wasn’t sure what—from happening. Then her heart did a somersault as a sudden thought struck her.
What if Sebastian fell in love with Sakura?
Or Darcy, for that matter?
What would she do then?

She’d have to kill Sakura, of course. She wouldn’t let the girl she despised most take the men she loved away from her.

“So what? We’re going to stay here and endure her presence?” Alaina asked angrily. “You know how much I hate her. I can’t stand her. If you’re not going, then I am.”

Tara noted the rage in Alaina’s hard voice.
Shit!
She really must calm the young woman down
again
if she wanted things to go her way. After all, she didn’t want Alaina to leave her here by herself. That just meant she wouldn’t have any support to fall on. Furthermore, Alaina was very close to both James and Brenda and hence a very good card in her hands if she needed help in her little game.

Tara moved over to the other girl and put her arm around her. “Do you really want Sakura to take everything away from you?
First it was James and Brenda. Now it’s Conrad, your youngest brother. Then who would be next?
Darcy?
” She’d said the name ever so softly so Alaina understood what she meant.

Tara knew
Alaina was very protective of her brothers, especially Darcy since they were twins, and of course this worked out to her advantage.

“No, o
f course not,” Alaina whispered.

“Good,” Tara sa
id. “Then we’re staying here. Let’s work together to protect our handsome brothers, why don’t we?”

Al
aina chuckled. “Yes, let’s.”

M
ono No Aware

The moon was bright and high above th
e dark gray sky. It was quiet and peaceful, and Sebastian stood there gazing out of his bedroom window, deep in thought. In the distance across the garden, he could see the slight figure of a woman. It was Sakura, and she was walking along the dragon bridge that stretched across the pond. Her gait was slow, as if she were strolling through a park, enjoying and appreciating the scenery. Then once she got to the middle of the bridge, she stopped and turned her eyes to gaze up at the moon. A moment later, she leaned both her elbows on the railing of the bridge and gazed down at the pond instead. He could sense her smiling even though he couldn’t see her face from this far, and he imagined just how beautiful she’d be. His heart glowed with delight at the thought.

He noted it was quit
e breezy outside, with petals of cherry blossoms floating around her, and Sebastian felt his blood warm. She looked so at peace, and he felt his heart radiate with love toward her. Then before he changed his mind, he turned on his heel and headed out the door. In an instant, he was outside and rushing down the pathway that’d lead him to the pond—
to her
.

He stopped at the base of the bridge, his heart thumping hard—not from the rushing
, but from the sight of her before him.

Sakura was enjoying herself watching the many carp swimming in the pond. Then she felt as though someone was watching her, and by instinct she turned.

She gasped in surprise. “Sebastian!” she whispered under her breath. She didn’t expect him to be out here of all places and at this time of night too. This was after all her sanctuary, a place where she’d come to think and be alone. A place where it reminded her of her birth, of the woman who had given her life, and of the name she’d been given.

“Hi,” he said, strolling across the bridge toward her.

“Hi,” she replied uncertainly, cocking her head to one side. “What—what are you doing here?”

He stopped only inches from her—his tall, masculine body overpowering her small frame. Sakura took a step back, her heart suddenly pounding in her chest.

Up close and at this time of the night, under the bright moonlight and with the pink glow of cherry blossoms around them, Sebastian realized that she looked even more alluring than ever with her black hair, flawless skin, luscious lips, and brown eyes.

Sebastian reluctantly moved his gaze away from her breathtaking face to look at his
surroundings.

“It’s beautiful here,” he said, n
oting the bright cherry blossoms that hung so low they almost touched the glassy water of the pond, the bright moon in the distance, and of course Sakura herself standing there before him. She blended into the scenery perfectly, almost as if she were a part of them, born within them.

“What about you?” he asked. “What are you doing here this late at night?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” she murmured softly. “I always come here when I can’t sleep.”

She reached over to pick a bra
nch containing a few flowers and then gave it to him. Sebastian glanced at her, and when he saw she nodded, he reached his hand out to her. As he took the branch, his fingers brushed hers.

Sakura sucked in her breath and hastily moved her hand back. “Smell it,” she said.

He brought it to his nose and inhaled—his eyes on her. Then his pupils dilated at the sweet scent rushing into his being. It was then he realized it was the same sweet scent he’d smelled on her that first time they’d met at the road.

“It’s nice, right?” she asked.

He nodded. “So what does it mean?” he asked, snapping the flowers from the long, thick branches. “Sakura.” He moved closer to her.

Sakura sucked in her breath and became tense. She could feel the heat of his body radiating to her. Suddenly she felt all wa
rm and tingly and lightheaded.

He chuckled, and Sakura
tilted her head back to look at him, noting his hair was glowing like white gold and his face shadowy dark under the moonlight.

“Don’t worry
,” he said. “I won’t bite.” He reached out and stroked her hair back—
gently
. Then he inserted the flower on the side of her left ear. “There. It looks perfect on you.”

Sakura blushed and
cast her eyes downward. “Err, thanks, I think,” she said, frowning, her stomach fluttering intensely.

“So what does it mean?”

“What?” She looked up at him again, confused.

“Your name,” he said. “Sakura.
You said it means cherry blossom.”

“Oh.” She wanted to take a step back to get some space between
them, but it seemed her legs were too weak to move. “Yes, it means cherry blossom in Japanese.”

“And?”

She wondered why he thought her explanation wasn’t enough. She noted that he was waiting for her to elaborate on her answer. She cleared her throat, fully aware of his closeness and the fact that her heart was pounding hard within her chest.

Well, he wanted the long answer after all, and so he’d get one whether he liked it or not. Not that he could blame her after that
, of course.

“In Japanese,” she began,
“sakura symbolizes the transience of life—the extreme beauty and quick death, which in turn represents our own immortality. Our life could be taken away just like that, like in the olden days when sakura also represents the life of a samurai, ready to be sacrificed for his master in a blink of an eye. It’s the Buddhist teaching of
mono no aware
.”

“What does that mean?”

She cocked her head to one side, wondering why he was asking her so many questions. Why he wanted to know. Why he was so interested.

“
Mono no aware
in Buddhist teachings means that one should be aware of the transience of things. Once you realize that, you appreciate it more, and it evokes within you a gentle sadness once they’re gone.”

“That’s very poetic,” Sebastian said softly, his warm breath fanning the top of her head.

“Not very poetic at all. It’s the truth,” she said.

“So I should learn to appreciate and love the things I cherish most before it’s too late?” he queried.

She nodded her head. “Yes. You should.”

“What other meanings does it have?”

She widened her eyes at him.

He chuckled. “Surely if the Japanese really love these
sakura…” He said the word so softly and so gently that it caused Sakura’s stomach to flutter deliciously. “Then there has to be more than one meaning.”

Sakura cleared her throat and tried to concentrate. “It also means hope, a new beginning.”

Silence
—long, dead silence as they both stood there, motionless, as the breeze and cherry blossoms danced around them. Suddenly, Sebastian moved fast. Sakura felt his hands cupping her face—
gently
. She held her breath as she gazed up at him, her heart pounding away like some noisy steam train.

Sebastian moved his face closer to hers. They were almost nose to nose and lips to lips when he said, “Then let this be a new beginning for us, Sakura.”

Sakura blinked, confused, lost, and totally not in control of her own mind right now. What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she think? What did he mean? Oh, Lord! His lips were so sensual. And those sky-blue eyes of his.

She could feel the heat rising within her womanhood, and she softly groaned.

“I apologize for my incompetence in protecting you when we were younger,” he said. “But from now on, I will never let anyone or anything hurt you ever again.”

Sakura stared up at him, long and hard. Suddenly she was in full control of her mind once again, and that was when everything about
the younger Sebastian Princeton flashed before her eyes.

He had always been there, hadn’t he? Always somewhere in the close distance, not
presenting himself before her, but had always been there nonetheless. He’d secretly helped her, hadn’t he? Hadn’t it been he who had stood there watching her crying in the distance after she’d had that horrible nightmare? Hadn’t it been he who had called upon Daddy James to come and comfort her?

Yes, she remembered that, remembered him standing there
at the door, a small figure of a boy, watching Daddy James soothe her with his kind words and gentle hands, watching her begging Daddy James to please love her only in secret because she didn’t want her new siblings to hate and hurt her.

Sakura closed her eyes, tears burning within them, threatening to pour out with a vengeance. Her mind flashed back to that day—
the day she nearly died
.

*
* *

Water! It was all around her, suffocating her, wanting to kill her.

Her body, small and weak, was washed about in the dangerous, angry whirlpool of water. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t control herself. She wanted to scream for help, but when she opened her mouth, water rushed in and suffocated her. She shook her head, tears burning in her eyes, her heart intense with pain.

She was scared. Her heart raced. Her body ache
d. And she knew she wouldn’t last. She’d die soon. The water spirit would take her far, far away. She knew it would please her new brothers and sisters a lot.

She closed her eyes.

She was exhausted and couldn’t fight the water anymore.

Then she stayed still. She felt her small body
floating there in the deep ocean, her eyes half-closed. As she sank deeper to the bottomless pit, she glimpsed rays of light flickering beautifully from above. Then slowly—very slowly—she saw a small figure of a boy reaching his hand out for her, the azure eyes large with fear, and his small boyish face pale with dread.

“Sebastian!” she screamed within her mind. “Help me!” she begged, though no sound came out of her mouth.

She reached her hand out to him, but it was to no avail as he too began to struggle in the water. He was drowning. Just like her. He was drowning with her.

Why would he want to save her wh
en he himself was struggling against the angry sea?

She was tired—so tired.

She closed her eyes and felt herself go.

*
* *

Sakura fluttered her eyes open
, and without her knowing it, tears flowed down her cheeks. She hadn’t known she was crying.

Sebastian moved then, taking her into his arms. His lips were against her forehead, and before he could stop himself, he kissed
her there, his firm lips warm against her skin.

Sakura closed her eyes and felt weak and warm inside. Her whole body was trembling with reaction. She hadn’t thought about that day for so long.

When Sebastian took a step back, she tried to breathe normally but found it rather difficult. It was even more difficult to control her mind. She tried, honest to God, she really tried not to think about that day. She needed to clear her mind. She needed to get away.

So instead of accepting his apology and confirming his peace offering by saying either a
thank-you
or
cool, let’s begin anew
, she muttered, “Good night,” under her breath and practically ran from him, her whole body shaking.

Sebastian watched her go, wondering if he
’d done the right thing by apologizing to her and, God, of all things, kissing her. But surely—
hopefully
—she understood that it was a brotherly kiss and meant nothing other than that. He’d made sure he kissed her forehead and not her lips as he wanted to, which was of course very tempting indeed.

He stayed there a few more minutes, taking in the beautiful scenery before him and uttering the name “Sakura” under his breath, cherishing it and loving the sound of it between his lips.

When he got back to his room, four of his brothers—Nicolas, Tristan, Logan, and Conrad—were there waiting for him, ready to pound on him. He didn’t know what the hell they were there for. In fact, he pretty much didn’t care and wanted to shoo them all out.

“What were you doing with Sakura by the pond?” Conrad growled at him.

Sebastian had no idea they’d seen him from the house. Then again, it didn’t surprise him because he himself had seen Sakura from his bedroom window.

“Well?” Conrad probed
.

Sebastian
realized he had to explain himself to his brothers. He didn’t know that they were really interested in what he was doing, or more importantly he didn’t know that any of them were interested in Sakura. And now here he was, competing with these really big, bad, handsome wolves to get the girl.

Sebastian sighed and went to crash himself on the sofa near the hearth.

“Well?” Logan asked, folding his arms across his chest.

“Yo
u hugged her, didn’t you?” Tristan scolded darkly.

“I
apologized to her,” Sebastian said.