Fallen Angels (22 page)

“No, it’s not a lie. What we have is real. I’ve never felt anything more real in my life. Peter may have led us to each other, but I fell in love with you. I’ve always loved you,” I confessed.

“The truth, I need the truth.”

“I never lied to you. I kept things from you, just like you kept things from me, but I never lied. Not until Peter forced me to,” I admitted. “A piece of me died in that room with my tortures, but you were always with me. You were in my dreams comforting me and making love to me. You were my only hope. It was a different kind of hope though. I didn’t care if you saved me or not. Just knowing that you would always love me, it made me want to survive. I wanted to see that cocky grin and wake up in your arms.” I shook my head, trying to collect my emotions. “I had to watch you die. Then you came back, only to leave me without any explanation. You destroyed my hope.” I sank back against the wall, pulling my legs against my chest. I wanted to be invisible.

We had successfully avoided talking about the event that changed everything for both of us. It was stupid to think we could just move on as if it never happened. I never wanted to speak of it, and even though Ravyn felt my fear and pain she couldn't truly know how horrible my torture had been. I didn’t know if she even wanted to know about it. I sure as hell didn’t want to talk about it, so why would she ever ask to hear my story?

After watching Peter cut her repeatedly, there was no way Ravyn could ever understand the helpless terror that I had experienced. She was as calm and cool as ever while chained to that goddamned table. In my experience the torturer taunts and laughs wickedly while slowly trying to kill you. Ravyn did all the taunting and laughing while Peter shoved the blade into her, time after time. I think I even saw fear in his eyes when Ravyn didn’t cry out in pain, didn’t beg. She didn’t bat an eye.

It was no easy task watching the woman I love go through this, no matter how she took it. And having gone through it myself, it opened up the darkest of memories. I could almost feel the throbbing pain and the sudden warmth spilling over my skin while watching. I felt like I was on the table and not Ravyn.

Ravyn’s hand gently swept over mine, pulling me from my horrible memories. The tiny electrical buzz of her touch danced under my skin, and a smile dashed across my lips.

“I never offered you to Peter, Ravyn. I thought you would discount everything when I told you that. I would never invite him to hurt anyone in our family. He came to the house after our fight, he held Chloe’s life over all of us. He wanted you to hate me. To give up on our love.”

“Your powers, confessions, and behavior, what is real Kara?” she asked with pleading dull green eyes.

I moved to check on her wound, but she stopped me. “Leave it,” she snarled.

“Let me take care of you, for a change. Please?” I waited for her to agree or refuse, watching her examine me for signs of truth. I rolled my eyes and huffed loudly at her sudden mistrust. Weird, because I had looked at her the same way so many times. It actually sucked, knowing she didn’t trust me. I wondered if she felt the same way when I did it to her.

I was surprised when she let my arm go, letting me inspect her wound. It wasn’t healing at all, and blood was slowly leaking over her pale skin. I swallowed hard and took a shaky breath, trying not to turn away in disgust.

“You need to feed, Ravyn.”

“No,” she barked.

“You won’t hurt me.” She shook her head, still refusing. “Fine, let me clean it then.” I grabbed a fresh towel, soaking it with warm water. Taking my place at her side I carefully squeezed the water over her wound, then wiped it away. “Will it heal without blood?”

“I need time,” she whispered.

“You should rest, maybe it will help?”

“Finish the truth,” she said.

Persistent much? I didn’t want to talk about it; I wanted her to rest so she could heal. She insisted on being her usual stubborn self.

“Fine,” I said with a pouty huff.  “My powers grew with my pregnancy. I don’t know why or how. I don’t know if it was in me the whole time, or if it came from Chloe. Mom thinks I had it all along. She thinks that something in me snapped when I decided I was going to keep Chloe. An overprotective mom thing I guess. I’m still learning what I can do. I honestly didn’t know I could make someone stop moving until it happened to you in the club. I said stop and you froze, I thought I killed you! Angie explained it as a paralyzed state, even your mind. Unfortunately Peter was with me, and he had taken Chloe already.”

“Can you use it on Peter?” she asked, trying to sit up.

“What are you doing? You have to rest!” I said, trying to coax her back down, to no avail. She leaned back against the wall and motioned for a fresh towel. I grabbed it and crouched next to her. “Where do you want it?”

Ravyn tossed the wet towel into the shower stall then took the dry towel from me, trying to cover her bare chest.

“Oh, let me do that for you,” I offered as I reached for the towel. She quickly pulled it away, wincing in pain when she did. It slowed her just enough for me to grab the towel. “See that’s what you get for being ridiculous,” I said, carefully wrapping it around her. “There, lean back and stop moving. Now, where was I?”

“Can you use your powers on Peter?” she asked again.

“If I could do you think we would be here?” I retorted with a look on my face that I’m sure spelled out ‘DUH.’

Ravyn looked at me with irritation, then I got a minute glimpse of a grin tugging at her lips. It made me want to hug and kiss her, because that microscopic hint of emotion meant that she didn’t hate me. I inched closer to her.

“This is some kind of game to him. He wants Chloe, but if he wanted her he could have killed us all by now. He needs something from us or from you, I think.”

“What about Devlin and Jeanie?”

“By the time Devlin came back from his travels, I was a mess. He helped me regain some hope. When he told me he saw you and how troubled you were, I had to do something, and not just for me but for you too. I needed Devlin to stay and be on my side. So, I influenced his feelings for me, making sure a smidgen of love swirled in the air when he came around me.”

“Why?”

“Because I needed someone I could trust. I needed to be whole again when you came back to me. Everything I said to you was true, I was lonely and so was Devlin. It made sense and no one would question his affection,” I whispered. Hearing myself say the words sounded horrible and selfish. It also brought on a terrible understanding of what I had done. I used and manipulated the friends that had helped me through a ton of shit. I lied and changed their behavior just to get Ravyn to come back to me. How could I be so blinded by one person?

“And Jeanie?”

“I asked Angie if she would find you. If she could make sure you didn’t do anything to get yourself killed. She insisted she wouldn’t be able to help you, but she knew someone who could. Angie made a call, and to my surprise Jeanie knew all about you. She was intrigued by you and your sacrificial death over a human.”

“So Jeanie was Angie’s idea?” Ravyn asked.

“Well, more of a reference. Angie thought you needed a stranger, particularly your own kind, and Jeanie was the only one you hadn’t met. I didn’t like the idea of sending some freaking gorgeous half-demon, half-angel to help you, let alone the fact that Jeanie was going to put you in some demon fight club. My opinion didn’t matter at that point, because Jeanie snatched up the task of watching over you. They both assured me that the fights would be good for you, and you wouldn’t be hurt beyond repair.”

“What about the incident with Devlin? Did you make that happen too?” Ravyn asked, almost looking like she was going to cry.

“You mean the one that unlocked the memory that you concealed from my own mind?” I asked.

“Was there more than one?”

“I couldn’t believe that Devlin had magically come up with the idea that the baby needed blood, and on the same night we visited you. I mean, what are the odds? Devlin was ecstatic with the opportunity to feed me his blood. The blood and his false love for me was becoming a problem. We were getting a little touchy feely, and I started having these dreams of you feeding me. I was becoming very suspicious that they were hiding something from me so I asked Angie if you fed me, and she flipped. She actually yelled at me. So I dropped the notion and dropped Devlin as my blood source.” I stopped because Ravyn was looking at me in the most inquisitive way I had ever seen. “What?”

“You wanted him?”

“What? No! His blood was making things very confusing Ravyn. Didn’t you hear what I said? I stopped taking his blood before things got out of hand. For obvious reasons I went to Angie. Do you know she has a tail?” I wondered, still thinking it was the coolest demon feature besides the fangs, of course.

“Yes. So what happened that unlocked the memory.”

“Well, Chloe was born, and you came back. I was thrilled to have you back, but as you know I worried about you being around Chloe. I was also so consumed with thoughts of you that I forgot about my little love in the air influence. And you can’t just let these things go unchecked. The influence could disappear or it could grow. I think my love for you and the alcoholic beverages that night made the influence of love in the air more like a powerful love storm. I felt it before the memory unlocked and it felt right, it felt like I wanted him. I hate to say it, but my witchy power backfired on me,” I said in defeat.

“Anything else you care to tell me?” she asked softly.

“I’ve caged your demon several times, without you knowing. You dream when you sleep and sometimes your demon comes out, so I cage it. Volac has been dating Abby for a while and I’ve known about it all along. He is nothing like his father. He is very good with Abby, and with you gone I thought she needed someone to lean on. He showed up at the house after I went to see you. He begged me to let him be a part of Chloe’s life, all while apologizing for what his father did to me. That is when he met Abby, and I saw it in her eyes. The look that said she was instantly hooked on this man. I had Angie look into the future to see what part Volac would play. She didn’t give me details, but she urged that he stick around. So he has. You cannot hurt him Ravyn,” I said.

“How can I possibly hurt him now?”

Her joke pulled my eyes back to her. My smile faded when I saw the blood soaking through the towel. I moved to check on it and she stopped me. “Don’t you dare push me away,” I snapped.

“It’s healing, leave it alone.” She took my hand, pulling me closer. “Is there anything else?”

I wondered if she was going to bite me when her lips brushed against my cheek, moving down to my neck. I hesitated before I replied, unsure if there was an answer she was looking for. I didn’t think there was anything else to confess. There were some issues she needed to explain, and there was something that I wanted.

“Do you really want to have sex with Jeanie? I saw you with that woman at the club. How could you do that to me? How many times have you cheated on me?”

“I pushed to find your emotion, just like you pushed to see my evil. The woman meant nothing, she was a pawn to satisfy my demon.” 

“I want you to fight for Chloe. I want a happy life for all of us, without all of this craziness,” I said.

“You and the others will have it soon.”

Her words worried me, but her lips were on mine before I could discuss anything further. Her kiss quickly turned into a passionate need, and without a care in the world I straddled her hips while her hands roamed over my body. Her warm hands snaked over my skin; pulling my shirt off she tossed it aside. The pause in the kiss made me come to my senses.

“You should be resting. We can’t do this,” I said, trying to get her hands under control.

When her hands left my body on their own I made the mistake of leaning forward to reach for my top. She firmly planted one hand on my ass, while her other hand went for the kill. And I don’t mean a bad kill. I mean her hand slid right over the seam of my jeans, the seam that ran right between my legs. Her delicate touch, even over my jeans, nearly made me jump with the sudden pleasure.

“Oh my god,” I breathed before pressing my lips against hers in a fury of passion.

Her hands frantically worked to unbutton and unzip my jeans, and when she tried to sit up I stopped her, gently easing her back down. My mind was working out the kinks of the lovemaking situation about to take place. Her injury eliminated many of my favorite positions. I had to be gentle with her; too much movement would reopen the wound. Would an orgasm cause it too? She did squirm a lot, so probably not a good idea.

“I want to see you.” Her whisper shattered my thoughts.

“Okay,” I said, suddenly eager to show her whatever she wanted.

I stood and slowly stripped down to my birthday suit, then lowered myself back over her hips. Her hands wasted no time in gliding over my skin, sending those amazing tingles dancing beneath the surface. I hovered over her on all fours, letting her touch roam over nearly every inch of me, while we stared into each other’s eyes. When her fingers slid through my growing wetness, I shivered and then she plunged inside of me. My breath caught, and a moan purred in my throat. I looked back in Ravyn’s eyes, and to my surprise I didn’t see a cocky grin or a sparkle in her eyes. She looked focused and somehow sad.

“Am I hurting you?”

“Never,” she whispered.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, trying not to orgasm as her pace picked up.

“I’ve always loved you, Kara.”

Her confession made me freeze. Every emotion and feeling within me stopped as I stared into her eyes, searching for the truth, not only the truth but some explanation for why she was telling me this now.

“I will always love you,” she finished.

My mind exploded with imaginary fireworks. The truth and love in her eyes, was undeniable. Holy shit! Ravyn just told me she loved me for the first time ever! I burst into a giddy laughter, but it didn’t last because an orgasm ripped through me.

I told her over and over how much I loved her while she pleasured me in that locker room. After dressing I laid by her side, overwhelmed with emotion. Happy for obvious reasons, sad because her declaration of love happened while we were trapped. It was the final sinking feeling of dread that bothered me the most. I had a very big suspicion that Ravyn was confessing her love here and now because of how things ended last time we were in a bad situation. She died, and she was convinced this was it for her again. It broke my heart.