Jared had kissed his first girl at fourteen, and in the intervening ten years he’d mastered the act, but this kiss had him shaking. And he hadn’t even licked into her mouth yet, because she was sucking on his lower lip and making
this little mewling sound that completely undid him. He traced the lower border of her upper lip—that line where the skin turned even softer and impossibly wet. Like the inside of her pussy would feel against his tongue.
Or the head of his cock.
With a gasp, he jerked back. “No,” he said, the word almost strangled by all the other parts of him that wanted to keeping kissing her. “I’m sorry.
So sorry. God, that felt good. But I can’t.”
He covered his mouth with his hand, lest he dive back into her sweet softness again, and braced himself for the tears of rejection that would surely come.
Except they didn’t.
Cassie sighed, a heavy acknowledgement, and leaned back against her door. “Yeah, that wouldn’t be wise.”
He blinked at her, looking for some sign of game playing, but she
only gave him a regretful smile. Damn, his chest ached at that acceptance. “You agree?”
“We’ve got a good friendship, Jared. Any infatuation between us would eventually pass, and I don’t know if I could watch you move on to someone else after we sleep together.”
God, that image. He’d trained himself not to think about being with Cassie, but now the vision floated unbidden through his mind. Cassie
on her back, legs spread. He could imagine the scent of her, the glistening moisture there. He’d make her come with his fingers and then his mouth, so it wouldn’t matter if he didn’t last long. She’d be flushed and warm, all languid and welcome. Smiling for him as he found her entrance and slid inside. Her legs rocking up against his hips—
“Jared?”
He shook his head. Shit. “It’s not you. It’s
not that I don’t want you.”
She glanced down and giggled, and when he followed her gaze he realized it was fucking obvious that he wanted her. He’d been so inside his own head he hadn’t noticed his dick was practically inviting her to reach out and stroke him. He groaned, and she covered her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, still laughing.
“That makes two of us.”
“I’m going to go inside
now. Put on jammies, something flannel and baggy, and eat a pint of ice cream.”
That only gave him the image of undoing a loose pajama top, button by button, then slowly licking ice cream from between her breasts. “Good. That’s good. You should do that.”
“We’re okay?”
He nodded. They would be just fine.
“You’re going to Colorado with your brother for the holidays, right? When are you back?”
She stared at a spot on his shoulder.
“Oh. No. Actually, Jackson has to work. So I’m around.”
“Oh.” Her voice fell. “I mean, good. Great. So you’ve got some time off.”
“Tomorrow’s my last day. Unless there’s a national emergency, I’ve got leave until after New Year’s Day.” Now he was hoping for something to come up, some last-minute rescue of a diplomat’s kid or something. He could go be a
hero instead of a sex-avoiding loser.
“I still need to buy some presents for my family. Maybe you could help me.”
“Sure.” He backed up, heading for his door. “Not tomorrow.”
“No, not tomorrow. Too soon.”
“I meant because I have to work.”
“Oh.”
“Cass?”
“Yeah?” Her voice sounded small all of a sudden, and he wanted to pull her in for a hug. But if he did that, he’d kiss her again, and if
that
happened, he’d probably Hulk his way through her door and toss her on the nearest flat surface.
And that wasn’t how he wanted to lose his virginity.
But fuck if he could remember what his plan had ever actually been in that regard.
“Tomorrow wouldn’t be too soon for me. If you have a pipe burst in the middle of the night tonight or something like that, you pound on the wall, okay? Nothing’s
changed between us. I’m still your go-to guy.”
She nodded, but they both knew he was lying.
Everything had changed between them.
And deep down inside, something significant had changed for him.
— —
Half a pint of Cherry Jubilee ice cream had not cooled her feverish libido. Neither had an all-too-quick date with her shower head when she’d first gotten home. Now she was curled up in
bed watching
Three Men and a Baby
and silently thanking the apartment gods that her bedroom didn’t share a wall with Jared’s place. Because she was pretty sure she was going to fall asleep with his name on her lips and her fingers buried deep between her legs.
And tomorrow, they’d go back to being just friends. Neighbors. Secret crushes.
Well, that cat was out of the bag. Not-so-secret crushes
that they’d pretend didn’t exist.
She thought about how hard he’d fought for control after pulling himself away from her. His very impressive bulge had done wonders for her ego, as had the look in his eyes when his mind had wandered—she’d give all the pennies in her bank account to know what he’d been picturing in that moment. She was pretty sure the heat of it would set her on fire.
One kiss
with Jared—now officially the hottest sexual encounter she’d ever had. A few mediocre screws in high school had set her up to think sex wasn’t her thing. And it had always been kind of clinical with her husband, even before they started trying to get pregnant, although he’d been fairly giving. Craig the dentist had been more lusty, but she got the feeling he could take it or leave it some of the
time. Football or fuck? No telling which way Craig would go.
But Jared… The man was practically vibrating with sexual energy. She didn’t want to think about how many women he’d kissed like that, practically picking them up in his giant arms. And how many of those lucky bitches got to keep kissing him as the clothing disappeared?
She gasped at herself.
Bitches?
She groaned, but jealousy was
a nasty mistress.
Nothing personal, ladies, but I want a piece of what you’ve had and I don’t think I’m ever going to be so lucky
.
The next morning, Cassie woke up late. It was a slow, heavy drag back to consciousness, and she didn’t want to let go of her dreams because they’d been rich with naked Jareds—and naked Cassies. Over and over again, he’d done wicked things to her in her sleep, and
for a minute as she lay there blinking at her ceiling, she was excited. Their chemistry the night before had been off-the-charts. So what if he’d put the brakes on it after the barest of kisses? He wanted her the same way she wanted him.
But then doubt crept in. He’d said no for a reason. A pretty strong one. And she knew his track record. She supposed it was sort of noble that he didn’t want
to screw around with her and then hurt her, but damn… She’d been hoping that player façade had been just that—a cover for a truly nice guy deep down inside.
All the warm fuzzies from her night of erotic fantasies faded away. Right. He might want her, but not enough to change his dirty boy ways. Fine. It would be pretty easy to just be his friend if that was the case.
Her phone beeped with calendar
reminders for the day. She had an open house that afternoon, and she needed to swing past the office first. It was pretty quiet in the days leading up to the holiday break, but real estate deals had been inked on Christmas before, so she always liked to be prepared. She also liked that the realty storefront wasn’t a place she had to go to every day. Her briefcase and smartphone were all the
working space she really needed most of the time, and the printer/scanner/fax machine on her bookcase in the living room was handy as well.
Sometime sooner than later she’d buy a house. She had the funds for a good-sized down payment, but after leaving the condo she shared with Mitch, she’d wanted to be back in Coronado without making a rash purchase decision. The modest one-bedroom apartment
had come available at exactly the right time in her life. And now she was reluctant to move on even though her father railed at her about the foolishness of paying rent every month when she could be making an investment in a property of her own.
When real estate was the family business,
renting
was a four-letter word.
But her parents did like that the complex had a few Navy SEALs living in
it. And so did she—most of the time. She would again. But as she showered and pulled on pressed black pants and a light blue cotton sweater, she was just angry. Pissed at herself for falling for someone she’d known was off-limits. Mad at Jared for not being the perfect fantasy guy next door. And angry with the rest of the male population of Coronado and the larger San Diego area for not conveniently
providing her with more dating candidates.
Of course…there had been the FedEx delivery guy with the cute smile. He’d hinted at offering his number if she needed anything. But at the time, she hadn’t needed what he’d been offering. And the same with that chef who’d started working out at the gym at the same time she did. If she went to the ten a.m. spin class tomorrow, he’d probably be there.
And when she walked in, he’d finally stop taking his time putting his gear away and snag the bike next to hers.
Okay. So there’d been options, and she’d ignored them. Because she’d wanted Jared.
But he was now confirmed as off-limits, so she was done being foolish.
The next cute guy to smile at her, she’d smile back. And if she got a number, or was asked for her number—no more head in the sand.
— —
So much for going back to how they were before the kiss. It was like they’d taken a cosmic jump back to before they
met
, which wasn’t at all what he wanted. Cassie in his life wasn’t optional, even though she was doing her darnedest to pretend it was. Three days had passed since she’d blown his mind with a few whimpers, and Jared hadn’t seen her since. In reality. In his fantasies,
she was still front and center, a constant drug in his bloodstream distracting him both night and day.
At night he’d wake up on his stomach, grinding against the bed in a way that was more mortifying than hot. During the day all he could do was
think
about her. Not dirty fantasies, but real-life scenarios about what she’d be like in a relationship and whether he could trust her. His secret was
buried so deeply if he revealed it to her she’d be the only other person in the world to know it. She was avoiding him for a reason—she didn’t want to be just friends. And deep down neither did he. So if he could get in front of her and admit how he felt, they’d hopefully get back on track. Sharing would be the next step, but imagining his confession had him breaking out in a cold sweat.
It was
Tuesday, so she’d go to the gym mid-morning and pick up her Community Share vegetable box in the afternoon. He’d gone with her at Thanksgiving when she’d requested a double order, and he knew she’d put in the same order for Christmas. Even though she hadn’t asked him for help this week, he planned to meet her at the parking lot where the farmer did his weekly meet-and-greet drops. It was better
than sitting outside her apartment from seven a.m. on, waiting for her to open the door. Not that he’d considered that—for long. He didn’t want a restraining order to interfere with his decision to woo her.
And any courting of her would have to be pretty significant given how pissed she was at him. Her silence and total avoidance proved that point.
He set out on foot, trusting that if he was
sweet enough, she’d give him a ride back. At the very least so he could help carry the boxes up the stairs. And maybe—if he was lucky—because she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about their kiss, either.
His confidence took a big hit when he reached the parking lot ten blocks away and found her fluttering her eyelashes over a Starbucks latte. At a guy holding a matching latte and standing way
too close to Cassie for Jared’s comfort.
He took a deep breath and observed the scene unfolding in front of him. No point in operating without intel. She was flirting, but it was casual. Her arms were crossed in front of her body and two canvas shopping bags were clutched in one hand. That plus the latte made a pretty clear barrier. He resumed his approach, slower this time.
Mr. Starbucks leaned
in and murmured something Jared wasn’t close enough to hear. Cassie shook her head.
“Are you sure?” Jared read on Mr. Starbucks’ lips as he moved back into view.
Cassie laughed. “Maybe another time.”
Their voices carried through the air. “Sure,” Mr. Starbucks was saying. “We’ll be at the picnic area at the north end of Sunset Park tonight around seven if you change your mind.”
A night-before-Christmas-Eve
barbecue? Oh, hell no. Jared lifted his voice before he could stop himself. “I was hoping she might have other plans.”
Cassie jerked her head toward him. She was wearing sunglasses, like him, so it was hard to read her expression. “Is that right?” Her voice was bland and impersonal. Not a great sign.
He slid his glasses to the top of his head. “Sorry to interrupt. I figured you’d need help with
the extra order.”
Chalk one up for honesty. She allowed him a small smile before glancing back at Mr. Starbucks. “It was nice to meet you. Welcome to the food co-op. I’ll see you around.”
With each short, clipped sentence, his hope returned. By the time she’d swiveled her attention back to him, he was grinning like the cocky bastard he usually was.
“You look happy,” she said dryly as she stepped
past him. The farmer had a table under a pop-up canopy beside his truck, and there was a short line of people waiting to collect their boxes of locally sourced produce. Jared didn’t really get why she didn’t just go to the grocery store, but buying veggies this way obviously made her happy. Like a nice glass of wine or a perfect sunset, Cassie appreciated the process of choosing and preparing
her foodstuffs as much as eating the end result.