Authors: Dave Cicirelli
Fakebook (17 page)
Dave Cicirelli
Wow, Elizabeth. I know you want what's best for me, but I think you want a happy ending for the “love story” a little bit more. If I get back together with Kate, I'll humiliate myself.
2 hours ago via mobile
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Elizabeth Lee
Wellâ¦loving someone is putting yourself out thereâ¦you're vulnerable. But, at the end of the day, if you love Kate, then screw everyone else. They aren't out there (wherever you are at the moment) living life by your side. They're just hereâ¦on Facebook, making comments. As cheesy as it sounds, follow your heart.
about an hour ago via mobile
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Dave Cicirelli
Is loving her enough?
about an hour ago via mobile
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Alula Medhen
Well Dave, there's a couple ways to look at this. There are those who don't believe in life after love, but I say love's a battlefield, you gotta know when to hold em, when to fold em, and when to walk away.
45 minutes ago via mobile
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Graciela Meza
Alula, wouldn't that mean love is like a poker game?
44 minutes ago via mobile
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Alula Medhen
Hey Graciela, long timeâ¦what I meant by invoking the wisdom of Kenny Rogers was it's time for Dave to cut his losses before he bets the farm (figuratively speaking)â¦I think a better game to compare love to would be roulette, one minute you've got it all and the next you're routing through dumpsters looking for a hot mealâ¦
38 minutes ago via mobile
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Dave Cicirelli
In my case, I dug through the dumpster looking for my next hot meal while my relationship was at its strongest. The open question is, which Morrissey song best sums up my experiences?
9 minutes via mobile
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Alula Medhen
I'll concede that one. I know better than to argue with you about anything even vaguely Morrissey. If the question is simply which song by any artist best sums up your experiences, I'd say even parts Offspring's “Self-Esteem” and the Buzzcocks' “Ever Fallen in Love”, baked in a nice “Where Is My Mind” by the Pixies, topped with Cake's “I Will Survive” and just a dash of Nancy Sinatra's “These Boots Were Made For Walkin.” For pep.
less than a minute ago via mobile
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Stephen Ortez
holy shit the above statement is awesome!
less than a minute ago via mobile
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Seeing all these comments, I couldn't help but feel weirdly embarrassed for Fake Dave and his (sort of) girlfriend. They were being judgedâeven told what to doâby people whose understanding of the situation amounted to little more than having seen a change in “Relationship Status.”
Fake Dave was mixed up, confused, and possibly in love. His life was in flux and he was looking for something to hold on to. That had been Kate, but then she'd proven to be fool's gold⦠It was a lot to deal with. Sure, their relationship had started in a weird place, with Kate running away from Amish country and inviting herself on Fake Dave's journey after he vandalized her family's horse and buggyâ¦but what unfolded was a shared experience. The bum fights and freight-hopping must have brought them together in a way only they could understand. Or maybe it hadn't. Maybe Kate's cheating was her reaction to an emotionally distant boyfriend who'd never moved his relationship status past “It's Complicated.”
Either way, somehow, Tone Del Vecchio's “Nice!” seemed like an inadequate response.
As I looked over the spectacle and put myself in Fake Dave's shoes to gauge the best way to respond, I began to remember what it was like to have my heart broken, trying to make sense of conflicting feelings and wavering convictions. Above all, I remembered the need to talk to anyone who would listen. Without Kate as his confidante and with the bridge to his family burned down, Facebook was the only outlet Fake Dave had. It was his only sense of community.
So he postedâ¦a lot. He posted his feelings as they came, no matter how fleeting. But moments don't pass on Facebook, they just move down your news feed. When his audience saw the inevitable contradictions compressed into just a few inches of digital space, some saw a hypocrite.
I'd spent the past three months telling stories about Fake Dave's selfish behavior, desperately trying to court people's judgment of him. By accident, I'd finally succeededâand it was the one time he didn't deserve it. I couldn't imagine the isolation he felt. All I could picture was him curling up in his tent and playing The Smiths' “I Know It's Over” on loop for hours on end. That's what I would have done, if I'd had his life and my playlist.
Interestingly, the din of opinion did benefit one relationshipâFake Dave and I had made it through our rough patch, and we were getting along better than ever. I became sympathetic to his misfortunes and found him more relatable with every passing moment. In the spirit of my own initially dismissive attitude toward quiet suburban life, he'd been quick to abandon the tangible for the abstract “something else.”
For the first time he was seeing the value of what he'd given up, just as I was seeing the value of what I'd rejected. Now we were both paying out the hidden cost of our longing.
In a note entitled “Roots vs. Wings,” he wrote:
JANUARY 5: Roots vs. Wings
In my heart of hearts I wanted to be home for Christmas.
But have you ever walked through your old high school? It feels familiar and foreign at the same time. You may be back in your old desk, but you aren't back in class. You were once a part of the environment, but now you can only visit.
I can go back to New York, or even New Jersey, but home is both a time and a place. While the place may remain, the time has long since passed. So it wouldn't be home, and I wouldn't be the same person.
I've learned that you can have roots or you can have wings, but you can't have both.
Maybe one day I'll land somewhere and new roots will grow into a new home, but for now I'm adrift.
The theme of roots vs. wings began to move Fake Dave's story forward again. In the early days, he'd walked with an aimless ambition, the desire to court adventure; now he sought substance. He felt changed but also lost. And I figured the added turbulence of his love life and the stress of his burgeoning self-doubt would be more than enough justification for his increasingly erratic behavior and poor judgment.
Dave Cicirelli
I think I'm going to get a tattoo today.
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Danny Ross
bad. ass.
yesterday via mobile
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Anthony Del Monte
I don't know you anymore.
yesterday via mobile
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Joe Moscone
A dream catcher on the small of your back?
yesterday via mobile
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Ted Kaiser
Tramp stamp?
yesterday via mobile
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Jennifer Huang
If a guy gets one, is it still called a tramp stamp?
22 hours ago via mobile
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Danny Ross
It's called a trampo stampo in spanish, for boys. For girls: trampa stampa.
22 hours ago via mobile
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Dave Cicirelli
I never thought about a tramp stamp. What a great way to let people know I'm down to party!
19 hours ago via mobile
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Matt Campbell
Think it through dude, Make sure the design is what you want, now and in the future. Don't just pick the Indian song cuz you're in Arizona.
17 hours ago via mobile
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Justin Blaser
How about a freight car, like the one that took you to AZâ¦
14 hours ago via mobile
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Dave Cicirelli
Freight car's kinda cool. It has meaning without pretension. I kinda like that.
12 hours ago via mobile
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Matt Campbell
Mr. Peanut. That's classy and fancy.
11 hours ago via mobile
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Trish Acciavatti
TRAMP STAMP
11 hours ago via mobile
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Dave Cicirelli
The problem with the Tramp Stamp is I'd have to start buying midriff-baring shirts. I think that may make me too sexy to handle. I want girls to think I'm approachable.
11 hours ago via mobile
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Trish Acciavatti
Or, you just find instances where you'll have to bend over a lot.
You could also get some sort of tribal tattoo band around your arm. Those are always cool. ahahahahahahahah
Or you could embrace the Jersey Shore attitude and get an Italian Flag on your backâ¦
All good options.
10 hours ago via mobile
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Dave Cicirelli
What I have in mind is almost as goofy. I'm having second thoughts, but it makes me smile. My Dad's going to completely disown me.
10 hours ago via mobile
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Dave Cicirelli
WAIT! SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES?!
3 hours ago via mobile
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Michèle Malejki
In tribute to old Simpsons, be like Bart and attempt to get that “Mother” tattooâ¦then get interrupted halfway, so you only have “Moth”. What a throwbackâ¦
less than a minute ago via mobile
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Dave Cicirelli
That's what I like about you, Malejki, you're a season 1 kind of gal.
less than a minute ago via mobile
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Jonathan Tatkon-Coker
get a unicorn with a dolphin jumping over its right side and a rainbow going over its left side, all as a tramp stamp.
less than a minute ago via mobile
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Joe Moscone
You're going to be the hit of the cell block.
less than a minute ago via mobile
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Dave Cicirelli
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Joe Moscone
Please tell me you got the Super Grover logo on your chest!
less than a minute ago via mobile
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Rolando Alvarado
Yeahâ¦That's about right.
less than a minute ago via mobile
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Katia Tron
LOL
less than a minute ago via mobile
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Elizabeth Lee
I'm with Katia on this! That pic is hilarious!
less than a minute ago via mobile
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Dave Cicirelli
I'm glad I went with a funny tattoo, since all the girls are laughing at me anywayâ¦
less than a minute ago via mobile
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Chris Mitarotondo
so i'm pretty sure that this is a tattoo of michael jackson's glove
less than a minute ago via mobile
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Dave Cicirelli
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Ara Arnn
You are truly a gentleman of wealth and taste!
4 hours ago
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Jeff Shaw
Dude, that is effing ridiculous. Is this your formal birthday suit? *rim shot* Thank you! Don't forget to tip your waitress!
P.S. You DO know tattoos are permanent, right?
4 hours ago via mobile
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